*sees Dora The Explorer bow tie*
*left eye twitch*
*has a “Nooooo Wiiiirrrrreee Haaannnnggeerrrrrsss” moment*

Well isn’t this a chemo-therapeutic-mess!  Indie dahlingk’s, it’s not necessarily that I hate Whora The Explorah’, it’s more that I want her to die a painful, burnin clap of a death but that bobble head

I almost fainted dead away into my Malt-O-Meal and Easy Mac when I saw these pics of Sacha Baron Cohen or should I say “Bruno” doin the googley eyed fool, snap in a circle three times somebody. My poor innocent virgin eyes have been violated and I didn’t even use

Did you’se reprobates know that Tyra had a stalker?  I know right!  Look at poor TyTy baby leavin the courthouse and she’s still modeling with her eyes,  good girl!  When I read about this, I had to sniff my coffee to make sure the Starbucks girl hadn’t put a little chuggin gin

Since the new Hannah Montana movie made $34 million at the box office, it’s safe to say that her fan base of sugar high, musty young girls and horny, greasy palmed, lurkin’n’lonely old men couldn’t have given a hot colonic about the tragedy she unleashed at the actual premiere. There’s

We here at F.I. barely have any idea what fooseball is or whatever they call it, but when PETA starts actin’ a malnourished, grass eatin fool, we take notice! Everyone knows what an idiot Michael Vick made of himself when he destroyed his career by getting caught up in a

Look Indies! It’s a stampede of candidates for America’s Next Flop Model. Yes childrenz, you read right, they stampeded like a hoard of cows tryin to get to the feedin trough at the Olive Garden, Moooooo! Not to volunteer to help in a needy community or to provide blood so

Look at all that Beyonkey Donkey poured into a breathtaking Thierry Mugler original. It’s like a bucket of KFC original but tastier and much more greasy. Oh to be the Spanx huggin all 32′-24′-36′ of that jelly. Beyonce taunts we the fashion elite on the set of her tour promo

Warning: HSN products cause nausea, scabies, the cancers, the crazies and a big ol booty. Click at your own risk – Tina Knowles HSN collection

I lovez you Tina!

Indies, in case none of you received the note I sent via carrier pigeon, I personally have a crush on Mrs. Tina Knowles

With all this talk about war, I figured you Indies needed something stupid to take your minds off this grown up spat whilst we bust some skulls! Do you remember when you’d watch a Lindsey Lohan movie and before you knew it, you were drooling into your popcorn with the

Y’know Indies, it feels like a CHICO’s kinda day (ewwww) so I wanted to treat you to some behind the scenes smut from Chrissy Siriano. Awwww, look at our little ferocia being all authoritative and influential and thangs. Everytime I see that gravity defying, razor sharp do, I get giddy

Ooooo Aubrey, Giiiiirrrl, You Such A Natural Beauty and Stuff……

Today in Never-Ever land, somebody got airbrushed to the Motha McLovin T. The cover says it’s Aubrey but this lump of undefined silicon anime, doin it’s best Jessica Rabbit bit, couldn’t possibly be my sweet little church girl. I guess washing

Oh my! That’s a whole lotta back’doe cakez Lady Gaga! I really didn’t want to do it but she made me do it. It’s like when someone keeps pushing you and pushing you and that little voice in your head turns demonic, egging you on to kill, maim and destroy

Behold the pure virginal holiness and sanctified church girl glam’ah of Asian American reality T.V. tiddiez. Now don’t get me wrong, Like any red blooded American male I likez breasticals just like the next pervert but a brassiere should not be worn as a shirt unless you’re a stripper, porno

(Disclaimer:  There is so much foolishness in the following post,  you’ve been warned)
Before you naughty Indies think I’m attacking Kanye again, you can unclench and release the Fruit of the Loom from your Dereon clad derrieres.  As one of the few artist in hippity-hop artist that have spit in the face of the macho bravado

Beyonce is peddlin’ dresses for House of Dereon, but all I saw was caramel colored ‘thank ya Jesus’, packed into chiffon. I know many people have their reservations about Beyonkey Donkey and her maternal unit’s ideas about fashion but if these ads are any indication of what’s to come, I’d

This is what happens when you mix botox, cocaine, Red Bull and cherry flavored Astro Glide…………….a tragic end to a story that was already so very sad. 

I don’t understand how you can have lots of cash money fundages that you didn’t have to lay on your back to make or get on your knees for and you can’t for the love of Sasha Fierce’s glitter poo find a stylist with an original point of view *Grrrr*.

Indies,  I wanted to start 09 off right by threatening your stomachs to unleash the lattes you had this morning.  Yes, Amy is on the beach giving unobstructed view of inadequate tiddiez and if that didn’t stoke the fires of your refinement,  she added in a crotch grab for no extra

Well Indies, we’ve come to the end of this gaping maw of a butthole we call 2008. As the resident douchecack, I felt I needed to violate you one last time like R Kelly at a Girl Scouts sleepover before we cross over into 09′. This year has been bitter

Y’know what’s so sad?  Everybody is so worried about, “Oh My GAHD!  Where is Jennifer’s wedding ring?”  I thought it is was more important to notice how beautiful and radiant she looked after squeezing two screaming larva out of her birthing shoot.  She should look like Jabba The Hut on disability.  It’s obviously

Le Trung’s social skills clearly suck it hard. So hard that he built himself a woman named, Aiko. I guess he got tired of getting those rejection letters from EHarmony. Robo-Hoe can clean the house, speak 13,000 sentences in English & Japanese and fend off your sexual advances………wait a minute,

I’m pissed Indies.  I just found out that Brooke Shields lil show Lipstick Jungle got the can.  It was my knock off “Sex & The City” fix and now it’s gone like a high school girls virginity on prom night,  leaving me feeling cheap, unsatisfied and greasy.   I mean this was even after I found

What do an ex daytime television diva and a woman that used to make expensive dirtiez to Donald Trumps crotch have in common? Both of them enjoy the fuzzy dead carcasses of woodland creatures. I personally think Ivana’s coat is made out of excess comb over sheddings from The Donald.

Every time I convince myself that I’m AM NOT going to talk about people no more, someone shows up and makes diarrhea all over my resolution. Dear, dear, sweet and virginal Pam Anderson showed up at Art Basel lookin a warm, moist, diseased mess. I’m so disappointed that this woman