Bobby Trendy Be Not Trendy

Edited by Zmaji Robinson

And Yes, Even The Red Carpet Itself Was Bored!

Edited by Zmaji Robinson

The Bashed: Wino

Edited by Zmaji Robinson

Die 2008, DIE! And Take Anna Wintour With You!

Edited by Zmaji Robinson

Well Indies, we’ve come to the end of this gaping maw of a butthole we call 2008. As the resident douchecack, I felt I needed to violate you one last time like R Kelly at a Girl Scouts sleepover before we cross over into 09′. This year has been bitter sweet hasn’t it my Fashionophiles?

We got our 1st black president but we lost a hot, stacked soccer mom with power suits that made Hilary Clinton’s snicker doodle implode with jealousy.

Britney brought sexy back but Amy CrackHouse started looking like something out of Thriller.

Christian Siriano released magnificent product, taking his spot as a candidate for fashion’s future but this season’s Project Runway sucked man-berriez like eager back alley prostitwats.

Fashion Indie’s Fashion Week Brooklyn was the toast of New York but Marc Jacobs continued to flash bystanders that malnourished little peen from under his crushed velvet man skirt………..NYPD did nothing, PIGS!

Daniel Saynt and Rebecca Alexander joined in matrimony, filling the world with love and beauteously raunchy married relations but Spencer and Heidi threatened us with the possibility of producing offspring, filling the world with fear and horror, sending some into suicidal fits of madness.

Sasha Fierce killed in Grace Jonesesque chic but made stinky poo glitter all over music.

Kanye West pushed the limits of urban fashion but Kanye West pushed the limits of urban fashion…………..and yes he’s still ‘IGNANT’, his brain’s still in his ass!

Fashion Indie got more awesome-er but Annie Wintour is still in power devouring the souls of our young, all whilst enjoying high tea.

And lastly but most importantly, I’ve never been more sexifull…………Put A Ring On It!

See ya on the other side Indies

- Z’maji of HauteBlogXOXO

Moments of Style: Jenny From The Block

Edited by Zmaji Robinson

Y’know what’s so sad?  Everybody is so worried about, “Oh My GAHD!  Where is Jennifer’s wedding ring?”  I thought it is was more important to notice how beautiful and radiant she looked after squeezing two screaming larva out of her birthing shoot.  She should look like Jabba The Hut on disability.  It’s obviously a Hanukkah miracle sent by sweet baby Jesus.  I mean even the poster of Brad Pitt in the back istryin to check out that fine Puerto Rican fatback.  I personally was completely and totally taken with her fabulous breastical balls.  I thought it was Christmas already and Santa was paying me back for being a deadbeat when he didn’t bring me those D&G leopard print jeans that I wanted back in 97′.  I’m still a little bitter about that………….Santa don’t let me catch you in the street!

 

Robo-Hoe Is A Prude!

Edited by Zmaji Robinson

Le Trung’s social skills clearly suck it hard. So hard that he built himself a woman named, Aiko. I guess he got tired of getting those rejection letters from EHarmony. Robo-Hoe can clean the house, speak 13,000 sentences in English & Japanese and fend off your sexual advances………wait a minute, that sounds like a real woman to me! Her most impressive sentence is ‘I don’t like it when you touch my breasts’. I’ll be damned if an appliance tells me that I can’t have a little taste of the goods. That’s like my fridge telling me I can’t dry hump it on those drunk nights when I come home to a lonely apartment and need a little lovin’.

The most offensive thing is that he payed all this money and she looks like cheap trailer trash with paint by number pancake make-up from the “Cover-All” Ike Turner domestic abuse glamour kit. If I pay $20,000 for a woman she had better not only let me touch the breasts but also be the lay of my life. I better not be able to walk or form intelligent sentences for a week. Do you understand what that can buy? A new collection of Raf Simons footwear and a fatnin’ double meat double cheese to eat in front of the starving waifs down at Wilhelmina.

All I’m saying is, if you want to be rejected by a woman there’s no need to pay 20 large for that. That money could have been put to good use on cheap, eager hookers or paper for the girls down at Wilhelmina to eat or more warm vomit like sludge and sewer water beverage urine for the Kathie Lee sweat shop orphans down at the docks. Such a senseless waste.

- Z’maji of HauteBlogXOXO

The Blessed: Lipstick Jungle

Edited by Zmaji Robinson

The Bashed: Ivana Trump and Star Jones

Edited by Zmaji Robinson

What do an ex daytime television diva and a woman that used to make expensive dirtiez to Donald Trumps crotch have in common? Both of them enjoy the fuzzy dead carcasses of woodland creatures. I personally think Ivana’s coat is made out of excess comb over sheddings from The Donald. She’s a very resourceful woman. I don’t know where Star got hers from but I’m sure she strangled and skinned the poor little defenseless rats all on her own-some cuz she’s a strong black woman. Don’t mess with Star-uh cuz you’se hoes might be next!

Don’t get me wrong, I hate PETA too…….I want them dead, I paid the people to destroy them but they haven’t finished the job, darn indecisive mormon terrorists! Heavy full on fur coats, however, ain’t cute so the 80′s IS pressing charges cuz they want their merchandise back. Fur is after all murder – FABULOUS MURDER *evil*! I know I personally want a fur coat made out of Brandy and Beyonce lace front wig weavins………….that’s only if anyone was wondering what to get me for ChrismaKwanzNukkah!

-Z’maji of HauteBlogXOXO