The Trolsons Further Infect The World

Edited by Zmaji Robinson

   Sooooo(gasp)………..hungry (wheeze)…………

Well, the malnourished have triumphed yet again.  Mary Kate & Ashley have taken time out from not bathing and not eating and making high-fashion look like duds from Goodwill to bring us a new “high-end” line. Now I was expecting to totally and completely pan it in my polite and friendly manner,  but it ain’t all that bad.  I actually think it’s a good beginning for the girls sportswear line………….did I say that?!  Must be a full moon.

‘Elizabeth’ refers to the signature blazer tailored more to a woman’s form and ‘James’ is the boyish tailored blazer with a boxy fit.  E & J offers fun pencil skirts, fur jackets (PETA is gonna bust some heads for this one), sack dresses, cashmere sweaters………..something for the sickly fashionista longing for a piece of fried chicken in us all.

I really am shocked.  I mean it’s not as if it’s the second coming of Valentino, but it’s not bad – not bad at all.  Truth is,  I know these girls aren’t really designing a thing in their collection but what can we really expect from them?!  After all, your brain turns to poo when all you’ve eaten is lettuce and paper towels.  I’m sending a box of fatnin’ donuts and a few double meat, double cheezes from Micky D’s 1st class for the utter salvation of The Trolsons………put it in ya mouf’.

Multiple Choice: Adrien Grenier

Edited by Zmaji Robinson

Adrien Grenier at the premiere of “Standard Operating Procedure” looks like …

[poll=8]

The Girls Ain’t So Spicy No Mo’……

Edited by Zmaji Robinson

Caption: $10,000 to the 1st one to bring me a Spice Girl head to mount on my wall

As a long time fan of The Spice Girls, I must express my disappointment and violent revulsion about Mel B and ‘Osh-Kosh B’ Posh venturing into fashion. Stay in your lane baby, stay in your lane and actually I don’t even think singing IS your lane………..pitchy! It’s so sad to see my Spicy McChicken-lets subletting their cunts out to corporate big wigs for a peso just like these 15 minute fame whores and “designing” a line. You’re not the one really designing it, so how can you say it’s you line, isn’t that plagiarism……………isn’t that punishable by death or bitch slap or SOMETHIN’…….

Like I said before, I have no problem with chicks makin’ more money for their various extracurricular activities like meth, coke, and more meth but can you please go and screw with another industry?! Maybe off shore drilling or prostitution – I hear the latter is hiring anyway. You just have to be a multitasking hardworker with minimal gag reflex……

-Z’maji, The Glam’Rist

Well, I’ll Be A Trannies Coke Vile!

Edited by Zmaji Robinson

I actually like Anja Rubik Indies,  I actually like her!  In spite of the fact that she was caught posing with Chloe Sevignums’.  what a silly career move……..Jesus is not pleased!  I was all prepared to trash her and talk about her mamma and make references toward her being a promiscuous crack whore after seeing her with Chloe on the cover of Nylon (cuz I just knew she had to be on serious mind altering substances to even let her dead corpse be caught doing anything with Sevignums’), but then I looked her up and she really is something special, not a crack whore at all.

Anja                             vs                     Agyness

The Polish tart has graced various covers of Vogue abroad and has an impressive portfolio that made even ME do a double take….aren’t we impressed indies.  She’s also been getting booked like crazy since she chopped off her long blond tresses and got her Twiggy on.  Now even tho’ we worship Agnyess as our number one doll with a boy cut,  we think if Anja keeps steppin’ her game up, she might actually make us second guess ourselves.

Career Criminals Wear Couture!

Edited by Zmaji Robinson

Naomi got arrested AGAIN?!

So you really can go to jail for bein a BIA-BIA!  I don’t know, maybe she likes the food in the slammer or she fancies those orange jumpsuits but she clearly hasn’t learned her lesson, I SAY GIVE HER THE CHAIR!  The British model, one of the few true supermodels,  was arrested at Heathrow Airport in London after hurling insults and spitting in the face of an officer.  My God she’s attacked her assistant,  she clobbered her maid in the skull with a cell phone and NOW she spits at a police officer?!  Who does she think she is?!…………….a supermodel?………oh wait, that’s right.

Aside from all that,  why is she so evil?  I think this is the problem with celebrity cuz these people think they’re just a little lower than God.  My thing is this,  who the friggin-frack do you think you are to treat people llike trash?!  You haven’t cured cancer, you haven’t ended world hunger,  you haven’t created a solution for male patern baldness or violent menstral cramping.  You’re a model and even tho we drool with perverse lust with every frame you pose for,  you’re still just a model.  I know you’re smelling your own tiddy ballz, but have a percaset and chill out.  *cheers* Here’s to date rape in the womens detention center where Naomi’s being held!  And No Naomi, it’s not cuz you’re BLACK……..it’s cuz you’re a grade “A” demon the likes of which God himself regrets creating….I can’t stand her!

-Z’maji of HauteBlogXOXO

Stuff Fashion People Like #14 Fashion Critics

Edited by Zmaji Robinson

Dear Z’maji,

My word, I am so offended at the way you talk about people. I mean post after post you attack as if you have the right to comment on peoples lives. Where do you get off?!?!

Sincerely,

Douchey McDouchebag

You know you like it you whore! If you didn’t you wouldn’t keep reading while clutching your unmentionables thrilled at the promise of slaughter. You want blood! We’re the only thing standing between the sanity of the public and the complete buffoonery of the undeservedly famous, what with their bull puckie “fashion” lines and piss water fragrances (yeah, we’re talking to you Lauren Conrad). We know you wake up in the morning, adjust your Fruit Of The Looms and flick on your laptop to read Fashion Indie and see who we’re destroying that day as if we were peddlin’ free porn. Yeah, you like that don’t you Indie?

Now some of you – some of you are just askin’ for it, you sadomasochistic degenerates! You love when we rip you a new one for wearing that piece of trash yo’ mama knitted for over the holidays and guilted you into wearing in the presence of actual people. There you are in the society pages and fashion columns lookin’ a mess, but you had to know we’d see it! It’s cuz you wanted it you trick ass trollop, you like the abuse.

Pretending to try so hard as you comb through every fashion mag and blog, looking for the new thing, the latest trend, wearing things that you don’t even like cuz you think – that we think it’s HOT. Truth is, you’d take a jagged edge to your carotid artery if you couldn’t check out who was trashin’ your name and your unfortunate ensemble choice. Wardrobe malfunction, HA! More like a catastrophic Doomsday event!

You’re welcome.

-Z’maji, The Glam’Rist

L.A. Fashion Week: Crimes Against Humanity

Edited by Zmaji Robinson

It’s so funny that the government is ‘crackin down on Islamic extremist’ but will allow these acts of terrorism to continue on the runway.  I’m always left confused and disoriented after LAFW, thank GAWD for Dramamine.  It’s like pop culture has bulimia and once a year it purges itself all over the Los Angeles fashion world……what a lover’ly analogy huh?  It never does much for me.  But of course it is Disney Land, oops, I mean Los Angeles.  Why don’t we take a look at a few of my favorite blasphemies…..

Ladies I know you always looked at your mothers ugly old couch and said to yourself, ”that would make a cute dress”……..voila! The Lord hath provided, Thank Ya Jesus!

Cheap lingerie, yeast infection anyone?

Keep your children out of the sewing room

French Maid?  Taking role play to an all new low

I think they stole this off that homeless lady that stands on the corner screamin’ obscenities at traffic

P.S.  Love Ya L.A.

-Z’maji, The Glam’Rist

Treat Your Local Purse Snatcher……

Edited by Zmaji Robinson

…….he’ll thank you, Elliot Lucca bags have an awesome street price.

While combing ‘these here innanets’ in my attempt to keep up with Daniel Saynts uncanny ability to find hot-new goodies,  I came across these really lovely bags.  Anyone that knows me knows that I’m a glamour whore.

I love it more than a 4 for 1 sale at the Louis Vuitton (don’t label me a label whore).  E. Lucca handbags however give me glamour that is stated, not enforced.  Lucca’s signature woven leather comes in a bevy of shoppers, totes and wallets in metallics and prints. Of course, as I said before, these bags are leather so you won’t be making any new friends down at the PETA, but it’s only they’re sexual frustration cuz when you don’t indulge in dead animal you just can’t get off.  Poor Elsie….

-Z’maji, The Glam’Rist

From One Urbanite to Anotha’

Edited by Zmaji Robinson

Recently, and by recently I mean a few moments ago, I was disturbed by one of our readers accusations of racism due to our stance on Soulja Boy’s blasphemous endeavor into fashion. I happen to be a black man, YES, A COLORED, writing for the same blog which you’ve (commenter) labeled as the second coming of Jim Crow and I just have to put my 2 cents in on this.

1) Whomever sent the comment needs to focus more on finishing 3rd grade than playing around on her mamas computer, your spelling errors speak volumes of your intelligence.

IF YOU’RE GOING TO SEND AN ANGRY COMMENT PLEASE BE LITERATE!!!

2) Soulja Boy is trash and I guarantee his clothes will be too. So many rappers do this, they could care less about fashion, HELL MOST OF THEM DON’T EVEN CARE ABOUT THE MUSIC, THEY JUST RAP TO MAKE MAJOR CASH FUNDS IT’S JUST A HUSTLE, THEY DON’T RESPECT THE ART OF HIP-HOP……and you can rest assured they don’t care about our beloved world of fashion. There’s really nice urban fashion out there like SUPREMEbeing and Mecca but some of it is just ridiculous and worth even less than the bag you bring it home in.

3) Now as I said before, I am a black man and I know how “other” people react to our culture, but just becuz someone doesn’t like like Rocawear or Phat Farm doesn’t make them a racist, NOT EVERYONE IS GONNA LIKE WHAT WE WEAR. Me personally, I still don’t think it’s cute in any form or fashion to have your pants saggin off your ass. On the other side, in my experience, it doesn’t matter what I wear, A RACIST IS GONNA TREAT ME LIKE TRASH IF I’M DECKED OUT IN ABERCROMBIE OR DRESSED HEAD TO TOE IN G-UNIT. Therefore lets remember not to be so quick to think of urban wear as the devils apparel, but if it’s trash, it’s trash.

We’re still dealin’ with these issues in the world, especially in the U.S. and I really think that we should be careful about who we label racist, but at the same time when it does happen we need to acknowledge it. This situation, however, is just an acknowledgment of an over exposed clown pimpin’ himself for more money.

C’mon, what kind of ass stands up for Soulja Boy?!

The True Lives Of Hanger-Ons

Edited by Zmaji Robinson

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines a leech as ‘a carnivorous or bloodsucking worm with a flattened segmented body‘.

Enter exhibit ‘A’ :

Can’t you see the family resemblance?

Jason Preston is the boy bumpin uglies with plagiarist Marc Jacobs and just between you and me……………and the 1000 of others that read this blog, I’m not sure who’s playin the woman in this on again-off again relationship. Now even tho I’m not a die-hard fan of Marcie, I kinda respect the fact that he’s built this impressive empire in the fashion world, despite the fact that it’s been made off of the ideas and designs of other artists *zing*.

However it is never good when a grown man with serious coinage like Mr. Jacobs is doin the nasty with young boys with Meth Face. ESPECIALLY, when said young boy was a hoe! oops, I’m sorry, I mean an escort, Lord Jesus, where are my manners, shoulda completed finishin’ school. The Gays should know that the term, “you can’t make a hoe a housewife,” which surprisingly enough, still rings true even when your playing catcher and receiver for the “other team”.

Keep your kidz away from the playground!

You wanna know whats really sad tho’, is when grown men pimp themselves for a warm bed and a hot meal. Red Cross clearly isn’t doin their job. And what’s with the Marc Jacobs tattoo on the forearm (and the Mariah tattoo on his oddly shaped stomach), that adds a whole new meaning and perversion to the term “label whore”. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m worried. Every time I see Marcie he looks just a little more drained and I believe that little bloodsucker has something to do with it (of course it could just be the blow).

Marc: I love you Jason.

Jason: Yeah, me too, can I borrow your Black AMEX

I don’t really care about either one…….I’m just sayin’ maybe if Marcie wasn’t so busy havin’ sexy time with Ms. Jason and random little boys, he could actually come up with original designs, but maybe it’s asking too much of a designer to design….

-Z’maji, The Glam’Rist

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Shopping for women has always been an arduous task, buying victorias secret from one end of the world, and bcbg shoes from the other. In fact even in a shoes store, the guess shoes you are looking for will end up far away.