STYLE INDIE
Jena Malone - Vintage Disaster or Savior?
photo wwd
Actress Jena Malone was caught wearing this “vintage” look during the LA Art Weekend. Personally, this reminds me of what happens when vintage goes horribly wrong. It looks like a 50s flapper girl vomited all over her and then threw their grandmothers bag at her. Too much black, too much clash, too much “vintage”. Do you love it, do we hate it?
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Multiple Choice: Adrien Grenier
Adrien Grenier at the premiere of “Standard Operating Procedure” looks like …
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Fashion F*cks: Why Middle America Scares Me
Yeah, she’s pregnant. Yeah, this is their senior photo. But really people. The tattoo. The fake tan. The bleached Eminem hair. The jeans. The earring. Even topless there are too many fashion no-no’s to list.
It’s okay if you want to get knocked up, but it’s not fair to bring a child into your painlessly poorly dressed world. Can someone please call child services?
Photo from EbaumsWorld
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Fashion F*cks: Stuffed Animal Backpacks
Fashionista has been writing about the Stella Bunny Bag for way to long and now the most dreaded sign of the apocolypse has come true. People are wearing stuffed animals in New York!!! Here’s the eye witness report:
“Yesterday, we spotted an otherwise chic woman lingering outside Cafe Gitane on Mott Street. She was an otherwise normal-looking person except that she had a dog-shaped purse under her arm. Not a fuzzy wuzzy kind of pup, more like a taxidermic-looking version that we really did mistake for a real - albeit completely stiff - dog that she for some reason was carrying on her shoulder with a strap. ”
This is the most tackiest, most ridiculous looking thing ever and I wish it ended with “and then we woke up” or “and then a car hit her, on purpose”. Cease and desist indies, cease and desist.
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Fashion F*cks: The Sticker on the New Era
It usually takes white folks a good long while to jump on the ghetto fashion bandwagon, which is why we found it as no surprise that years after the ghetto fab decided to stop removing stickers from their fitted New Era’s the white boy has finally caught on. This is not okay people. Take off the fucking sticker. We don’t care if it’s authentic, we don’t care if it’s new, cause after a week of sweating in the same hat it will still smells like cheap hair gel and greasy forehead.
Photo from The Cobrasnake
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Ten Things Wrong with Devendra Banhart
Seriously Nat, what is this thing. I know love is blind, but I’m not so here are the ten things wrong with your new man.
1. He looks like that fat bouncer dude from all the Misshapes party. You know, that door bitch that always smelled like b.o. and wore pants four times smaller than his waist line. Yeah, him only a lot thinner.
2. He stole your sunglasses…
3. And your handbag…
4. And your jeans…
5. Plus he’s wearing a peacoat. Only sailors or those railed in the ass by them wear peacoats.
6. He’s smelly (okay that might not be true, but he looks it)
7. Plus his career’s a joke. No one dates rockstars these days. It’s all about sports stars and internet start-up geniuses (aka Daniel Saynt, Rebecca doesn’t have to know ;-P )
8. Did I mention the bag…
9. He looks like a white Andre J. Actually he might be Andre J in drag. Man-drag.
10. Your parents hate him. I know they must.
P.S. I must hate. It’s against my nature not to.
Also before anyone starts developing cute nicknames for you two, here’s mine, BanMan as in ban this man out of your life… at least until your stylist comes and helps him
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TrendSpark: Hand-Painted Shoes
Customization is the big trend amongst the fashion freshest. Getting things made just for you or finding one-of-a-kind vintage pieces has become a habit of even the most dedicated Gucciphiliac or Prada whore. So it shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone that hand-painted shoes are a growing trend amongst the most discerning fashionista.
So who’s buying these shoes and who’s making them. We have a list of some we’ve found on the web this week…
Solebox x Puma Friends & Family Signature Clyde
Very sneakerhead friendly and very limited. These were shipped out by Puma to a very secret list of folks. Expect some celebrity to be rocking these in a few weeks.
Custom Nintendo Converse
These are special order and take over two weeks to create. Of course, the result is looking like you spent a shit load on $50 Connies, but it’s totally worth it to show your love of Smash Brothers. Email Cole at COLERANZE@GMAIL.COM for details.
Colectivo 3.14
Available in Buenos Aires, these exclusive kicks can be ordered and delivered for instant cred points.
Contact 3.14showroom@gmail.com for details.
Ndeur Custom Shoes
Some of the best looking custom shoes we’ve seen can be yours from Ndeur.com. Get them. Seriously, these are awesomeness.
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Fashion F*cks: The Bright Parachute Jacket
This is not cool. This never was cool. Even in the 80’s when people were endorsing this look more than the hiv, it wasn’t cool. No it’s not ironic that you wear it, it’s idiotic. You look like some reject from the set of Dazed and Confused. You look like you walked into Liberace’s extra gay clubwear closet, and then stood there, in the closet, you homo.
I know you like to wear this jacket cause everyone wants to take your picture when you do. It’s not cause we all think you’re stylish. It’s cause we think you’re a douche and the truth is we’ve never seen one that’s 5′11 feet tall. It’s quite amazing. Like some miracle of science. Of course, the only woman who would need one that big is Rosey O’Donnell and even she wouldn’t let you near her fly trap wearing that jacket.
So please, stop blinding my eyes with your hipsterness. No one takes you seriously, we all make fun of you behind your back, and yes that was fecal matter that just hit your face. I like to throw poo.
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Well, I’ll Be A Trannies Coke Vile!
I actually like Anja Rubik Indies, I actually like her! In spite of the fact that she was caught posing with Chloe Sevignums’. what a silly career move……..Jesus is not pleased! I was all prepared to trash her and talk about her mamma and make references toward her being a promiscuous crack whore after seeing her with Chloe on the cover of Nylon (cuz I just knew she had to be on serious mind altering substances to even let her dead corpse be caught doing anything with Sevignums’), but then I looked her up and she really is something special, not a crack whore at all.
Anja vs Agyness
The Polish tart has graced various covers of Vogue abroad and has an impressive portfolio that made even ME do a double take….aren’t we impressed indies. She’s also been getting booked like crazy since she chopped off her long blond tresses and got her Twiggy on. Now even tho’ we worship Agnyess as our number one doll with a boy cut, we think if Anja keeps steppin’ her game up, she might actually make us second guess ourselves.
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Madonna Blings Out with New Name M-Dolla
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We all know Madonna makes cake, but I had no idea the queen of pop was into bling. It seems that Timbaland may have had more influence on her Madgesty than we all thought. She has been sporting this monster and apparently a Jesus piece for her album cover. The M-Dolla knuckle ring was designed by Chopard and features over 258 white diamonds!!!
That’s right Madonna, show them gangstas how to do it.
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Agyness Deyn Shits Out Style
Seriously, can she stop setting trends for a few seconds. The shoes are DIY cute, the red tights so worth the look on the faces of the leggings crowd, the tutu style dress and the jean jacket. All apart they’d be a mess, but together this seems to work.
Agree or disagree, indies?
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Jeremy Scott Steals from the Frizz
Wish we noticed this sooner, but Jeremy Scott is a two-bit stealer of style from non other than Ms. Frizzle of the Magic School Bus!!! (for those who don’t know the series of books and cartoon series we’re about a crazy teacher and a magic school bus that was kind of alive and capable of becoming anything. Yeah, kind of trippy)
I didn’t believe it at first, but this is undeniable.
I think everyone of her outfits have been made into a Jeremy Scott collection. I wonder if Agyness knows she looks like a third grade teacher in her Jerry wear?
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