To celabrate the 60th anniversary of the Desert Boots, Clarks Original takes us down the memory lane with their six new unique designs.Each of the six styles, three for men and three for women, is inspired by one of the decades, between 1950 -2000, that Desert Boot has been an essential item in your shoe collection.

LINK

Blondie’s 1983 video for “Rapture”, in which Debra Harry fancies herself a rap lyricist, could be considered corny by today’s standards. Her outfit, however, would look just as good now as it did over 20 years ago. Considering fashion is now deep in an 80’s revival, the look can be easily pulled off and would make for a rather stylish ensemble. The black tube top bejeweled with chunky gems is an obvious compliment to high-waisted dark shorts. Throw in a flimsy lace shawl, stringy, layered necklaces and understated heels, you get a look that is both simple and bold.

Watch: Rapture

Naomi and Veronica of Modistiskt are from Sweden, so I can’t exactly read anything on their site, but they’ve got some great photos of products, shopping trips, and street style. Check it out, and if you can read Swedish, you’re really in luck!

See them here

I read a review about this place earlier and it sounds kind of cool, unless you’re terrified of the circus. It’s above Bowlmor, and Paris Hilton is apprently going to be there, which means she’ll walk in take 50 pictures then leave.

Link

Fashion Week is over, so designers are looking to revamp their companies, and their staff! ROGAN is looking for PR interns:

Interns will be responsible for a wide variety of PR and sales-related duties, including managing samples and press clips, as well as assisting with event planning and media outreach.

The ideal candidates are detail-oriented, experienced with MS Excel, hardworking, independent, have strong communication skills, and are interested in learning about multiple facets of the fashion business. You know, the usual.

This is an unpaid position, and applicants should able to dedicate 2-3 full days per week for the duration of the fall semester. You do not need to be a student to apply! Please submit a short cover letter and your resume to intern@rogannyc.com.

Sound like your dream internship? Email intern@rogannyc.com to apply!

LINK LOVE: Fashionista

This Friday at 8 & 9PM you can see Love Brigade’s S/S 2010 collection ‘Revival’ at The Space on 8th (with free drinks!)…RSVP@lovebrigade.com, list closes Thursday, and spots are filling up fast! Afterparty with some great DJs, Guru, and Nicky Digital

Again: email RSVP@lovebrigade.com,  or for press peeps, press@lovebrigade.com

5Preview has teamed up with the Danish T-shirt company A Question Of… to create a sustainable line, ‘Faith Hope and Love,’ featuring three shirts that will be released one by one until Christmas.  The shirts are manufactured in Africa, but don’t worry, no sweatshops here.  A Question Of is all for helping out East Africa and using organic fabrics, while making sure everything is fair trade, their workers receive full wages, English classes, and training in health issues.  The first shirt released, and pictured above is ‘Faith,’ and you can get it from now until Christmas at A Question Of…’s website

Nikki, another Fashion Indie friend and friend of friends from Ruff Club has what could be the most killer blog I’ve ever seen.  Complete with style photos, runway reviews, spreads, and DIYs, she’s as sharp as it comes, with edginess dripping from every post. It’s refreshing to see someone posting things that you aren’t going to find on Style.com or other mainstream fashion blogs, and instead works of art, lines and spreads that are actually creative, and DIYs that make us swoon.  Here’s some proof:

We love fashion people, but we especially love fashion people that have blogs. Check out .dirtyflaws. and prepare to be overly-inspired for days and days!

Fashion Indie’s favorite, and most fashionable nightlife photographer, Elle Rex, had her last night at Ruff Club on Friday.  We’re going to miss her fierce style, and everyone all over the internet is going to miss her weekly photos that capture them in all of their ridiculousness.  Elle’s heading off to Europe with Designer Drugs, so don’t worry, she won’t disappear completely, but her nights of taking photos of our favorite Ruff kids are over, as the end of Ruff Club is set for next week. 

See some of our favorite pics on Cult, and check out Elle’s photos from all of the Ruff Club parties, as well as other parties worldwide on her site.  The site also includes party videos, like the one below:

We’ll definitely miss seeing Elle around, and the final Ruff Club won’t be the same without her, but I’m sure we’ll be partying together in the future. Have fun in Europe, Elle!

(photos by Kris Kidd)

Four months ago a bunch of my favorite people to follow on Twitter were filling up my feed with news of a new magazine.  ‘Check out  @clichemagazine!’ so I did. I headed over to the site and saw the clean format of their first issue with Cody Kennedy on the cover, and started e-flipping through to pages, reading articles, and seeing photos from some of my favorite photographers.  From then on, I became a huge fan of Cliché, an online magazine based out of California that publishes monthly, and features spreads and content that you aren’t going to find anywhere else on the web, or at any store, for that matter.  I continued to check back monthly to see Brittany Flickinger on the cover, and an entirely green issue, all complete with great feature stories, interviews, street style photos, and spreads from the Cliché staff; but then I realized: outside of the photographers I already follow, I have no idea who is behind this magazine.

Naturally, I scoured the internet to figure things out and found the editor-in-chief’s name, Jeremy Fall, and I made one of those emails to a general address to try and get ahold of Jeremy in order to figure out just what goes on behind the scenes at Cliché.  After long chains of emails and iChat conversations, Jeremy and I have grown to be great friends, and I’ve learn that Cliché is definitely a magazine that is here to stay, and here to join Fashion Indie in the ‘print is dead’ campaign.

See what Jeremy had to say on the start and growth of Cliché, and why the internet is way better than Condé Nast:

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FASHIONINDIE: Where were you at before Cliché?

JEREMY FALL: Before starting Cliché, I had an event production & artist management agency in LA. We mainly produced events in clubs around the city and represented artists from around the world. I also organized private events on the side ranging from fashion shows to corporate events to birthdays.

FI: Once you got the idea (and how did that even happen?), where did you go next?

JF: No one ever believes me when I answer this question, but I got the idea for Cliché at 5 AM when I couldn’t sleep. I suddenly felt the need to take on another project and always thought that there weren’t many magazines out there that take a completely different approach to their themes. I was looking through a few issues the other day at Barnes & Noble and found one with an “up and coming talent” theme. The issue consisted of 100 little biographies of people that no one has ever heard of, and it just seemed like the creators were crossing their fingers that at least one person of their choice would someday blow up and give them credibility. As for Cliché, I’m not saying that we don’t go for up and coming talent, I think that’s great, we just prefer showing different things in our issues. For example, in our July rising stars issue, we also showed a merging city, growing hotels, different types of designers, etc.. Sorry I might be getting a little off topic, to answer your second question, once I had the idea for the mag I immediately started looking for photographers and writers over the Internet and through people that I knew. This was probably the hardest part and I admit that I didn’t have any experience in creating magazines. It took about a month to completely assemble our team and then we started creating issues.

FI: Is this something you always wanted to do?

JF: Being the editor-in-chief of a magazine was something that I had never thought of doing. I’ve always had a passion for management and when everything started coming together, I fell in love with the idea.

FI: Did you anticipate it would grow so quickly?

JF: A lot of people ask me that too actually, and honestly I really didn’t expect this at all. I’m so grateful for all of our readers and the attention that Cliché’s been getting. I had projected around 100,000 readers monthly by January 2010 thinking that I was crazy for aiming so high, and we’re at over 600,000 monthly now. I definitely think that it’s not done growing yet and that there are still many improvements to be made.

FI: Where do you plan to take Cliché, assuming it continues to grow exponentially in viewers?

JF: I never say never but I really don’t think that we’ll ever become a printed magazine. In 10 years, glossy magazines will be considered luxurious items and everyone else will have theirs available online. The way technology’s growing right now, it would be surprising if the Internet didn’t take over printed publications, but you can never know, that’s just my opinion.

FI: Do you think you’ll ever switch to a daily update format, or just stick with the monthly issue?

JF: Actually, we’re in the process of integrating a blog called Kitsch on our site to give a more “frequent update format”. This should be out soon and we really want to give our fans a more personal feel and interaction with who’s behind the mag. The goal right now is to make it daily, we’re just figuring out if that’s going to start right away. As far as the issues, those will remain monthly.

FI: We love you for it, but why jump on the ‘print is dead’ bandwagon? And why did you decide to turn your magazine entirely ‘green’?

JF: (laughs) The “print is dead” bandwagon, like I said earlier, is something that’s really growing exponentially. I honestly don’t see what the point of printing is aside from making it “look pretty”. I mean, I do agree on the fact that holding a mag in your hands on the plane or at the dentist is a nice feeling (when its a good publication) but in the end, the result is the same as when it’s online. In a few years from now, you won’t remember how nice it was to flip the pages, but how interesting an article was. Whether you read it online or on paper, you retain information the same way. Sometimes it is scary to see how technology is quickly taking over, but we also can’t live in the past when new mediums are being developed everyday. If you still don’t agree with me, take a look at how blogs have grown and how you mostly read the news online now, or how you’re sending e-mail more than paper letters, or how you text instead of sending notes (for high schoolers), or how you’re reading this interview on Fashion Indie. The list goes on and on and on. 

FI: How do you decide on a theme for each month?

JF: Honestly this might really sound cliche but I really get inspired from anything that happens around me! I know that everyone always says that but its seriously true in my case. I don’t sit in a field pondering for hours but themes come to me at random times throughout the day. Usually it starts when I’m reminded of a topic that interests me a lot and then I develop it from there and find a way to turn it into an issue. It can get hard sometimes, but I try to think ahead.

FI: Tell us a bit about the rest of your staff, you’ve got some younger talent working for you, do you think young people are taking over the industry?

JF: Our staff for the most part is pretty young. I definitely think that we are taking over the industry and feel like the generations to come will start even younger.

FI: Who have been some of your favorite people to work with?

JF: I truly think that every single person I work with strongly contributes to the mag. Now, I’m not just saying this because they’re going to be reading this interview, but honestly everyone has helped a lot. Its actually really cool because the team that you see now was built really quickly, most people have been around since day one. 

One of the best additions to our crew was definitely Dirk Mai (www.dirkmai.com), one of our main photographers. He’s an amazing artist and one of the best people to work with. You’ll find his work throughout every single issue that we’ve done so far and I honestly believe that Cliché wouldn’t be what it is today without his contribution.

FI: What has been your favorite part about this experience?

JF: My favorite part about this experience is seeing the number of readers grow and communicating and being able to directly communicate with them. I do as much as I can to be in contact with our fans and love hearing feedback, that’s really the only way to get better. 

FI: What are some of your favorite magazines?

JF: I actually didn’t read many magazines before starting mine. If I had to pick one to read for the rest of my life, it’d have to be Vanity Fair. The reason being that it’s probably the most intelligent mag available in the US and the photography you find is truly amazing. I also read Nylon monthly and open GQ when I stumble upon it.

FI: If Condé Nast offered to print Cliché, but you had to give them full ownership of it and would only collect royalties, would you?

JF: I would never do that, it would completely negate everything I just said in this interview, and make me look like an idiot.

FI:  You’ve got 1 hour until stores close and $500 dollars to spend, where do you head first?

JF: I’d probably head to a restaurant first to eat, and then with whatever I have left head to Alexander McQueen (my favorite designer).

FI: Any secrets you can give away?

JF: I can’t really say anything except for the fact that we’re going to be getting better and better. We have our new site launching very soon, created by my wonderful web designer Michael Gramling (http://www.thevintageskeleton.com), new amazing writers and photographers. You’ll have to take a look to see what I mean.

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And that’s what you should do!  Check out the new issue of Cliché that is out TODAY on their site, see the new webisode on Cliché TV, and follow them, and Jeremy Fall on Twitter to keep updated on their world takeover(I smell a blog coming soon??!).

IS MENTAL: An awesome blog in itself, but also featuring some rad streetstyle from the webworld

Altamira NYC: Nicknamed the ‘off duty models blog,’ all sorts of industry peeps are featured on Altamira, making it even better than it already is to look at for street style.

Hoy Fashion: Streetstyle from London, Manchester, and Liverpool. What I like best about this styleblog is that it also includes close-ups of everyone’s faces

Jak and Jil: An absolute favorite, Jak and Jil frequent events and fashion shows, catching models, designers, and other fashion peeps, which makes for the most fashionable styleblog on the web

Glam Canyon: A typical feature in Fashion Indie’s RAW feed, and another unique look at style worldwide

Style Defined: A look at NYC’s style elite, and a guest photographer at Fashion Indie’s SoHo Grand events!

The Sartorialist: Given.  So painfully cool that they have their own book.

Lookbook.nu: The roots of style blogs everywhere (including numerous style bloggers). Lookbook.nu was formerly an exclusive street style blog for invited members only, but I think they’ve opened it to the rest of the public now (judging by some of the horrors found on the site…) Regardless, it’s always a good site for Street Heroes, by the thousands.

Face Hunter: Another worldwide photo snapper, Face Hunter was the first style blog that I ever began to frequent (back when I was still in Michigan and didn’t know my way around the internet). I think I made a wise first choice, and I’ve been coming back ever since.

Click Clash: An East Coast street style blogger with a lot of fresh taste. Also, check out the blogroll in the right column, tons and tons of good clicks!

Who’s your favorite? Someone we missed?

Littledesignerbook.com  has purchased the first membership to the ‘I Heart Fashion Indie’ campaign! Thanks to them, we’re on our way to raising $200,000 from the readers in our network that love us, in order to create all sorts of goodness on the Fashion Indie site.  Now that Little Designer Book is a part of our Platinums, they’ll get all sorts of perks like:

• Access to FashionIndieMedia.com, a private network where you can connect directly to otherPlatinum Members and get insider information about our upcoming projects, view our business and marketing plans, keep abreast on company developments, and discover additional investor opportunities.

• VIP Status at Fashion Indie Events including our fashion shows, lounge events, nightclub parties and sample sales.

• Invitation to our quarterly Investor Lounge where you can meet additional supporters of Fashion Indie.

• Listed as a Platinum Member on FashionIndie.com.

• Monthly Live Chat with Fashion Indie President & Cofounder, Daniel Saynt so that you can ask questions and get to know a little more about where Fashion Indie Media is headed.

Best of all, Platinum Members will receive a 2-1 return on their membership fees once Fashion Indie hits certain growth milestones. For more information on becoming a Platinum Member, click here to sign up or visit FashionIndieMedia.com.

Now doesn’t that sound cool?  Fashion Indie hearts you, and we want you to heart us too. We hope that you become a Platinum member, or tweet/invest/join one of our sites/fan us on facebook/subscribe/check us on youtube/grab our widgets/call us and tell us you love us (917-450-5238)/Send us a letter: Fashion Indie, 369 Lexington Ave, Second Floor, New York, NY 10017/do one of the other millions of things that we have going on to show our love for you and for you to show your love for us.

Lots of love going around this office..share with us.

And again, thank you to Little Designer Book! We love you the most for being our first Platinum member..everyone go over to their site and  show your support!

Valou’s 3cap rings are making a huge appearance in the world of fashion lately, and being picked up by all sorts of fashion and music peeps: Dirk Mai (the first to wear this amazing ring), LIGHTS, Demi Lovato, Audrey Kitching, Nick Santino from A Rocket To The Moon, and Mandy Jiroux..and those were only the ones I could find photos of!  The mens rings run around $175, and the women’s $125, but it’s way worth it for the statement you’ll be making with this ring.  Definitely a cooler alternative to the over the knuckle two and three fingered rings everyone is wearing lately, if you wear a Valou ring, you’re sure to be asked about it.

Head over to the site to purchase a ring and find out about sizing, there isn’t much info on the designer, but if you know Fashion Indie at all, we’ll investigate it and get your more information (maybe even an interview!) as soon as we can. 

Here’s some photos of people we love rocking Valou 3caps:

Photos via Dirk Mai’s Twitpic, Demi Lovato’s Twitpic, and Dirk Mai’s website

3caps via Valou

I know my post about how we were searching for the next member of our ‘25 under 25 stylish people to know’ list may have seemed kind of harsh, but it wasn’t meant to turn EVERY one of you away!  Our twitter only received ONE @ to enter their style pic, and we’re really sad about it! 

We promise to be nice to you, we promise not to steal your pictures and use you for our ’street zeroes’. We just want you to be a part of our list! So send, send, send or we’re going back to stalking the internet for more of our favorite fashion peeps. 

Seriously people, hit us with your best shot. Send your twitpics, links, whatever you want to @fashionindie to be a part of our list!

Celebrities-

Rihanna- Ri’s been really stepping it up lately. She’s got a wide range of looks, and is starting to find a world of her own when it comes to her style.

Lady Gaga- Everyone knows she’s crazy. Lady Gaga is definitely changing the views of fashion right now

Taylor Momsen- Are you surprised? You know we love her.

Emma Watson- The young HP actress is growing up! And looking hot at every event, if we do say so ourselves.

The Olsen Twins- They’ve been in the fashion eye for awhile now, and now that they’ve got some of their own lines, they always look awesome.

Zoe Kravitz- Lenny’s daughter! This teen has been making a lot of appearances lately, and looks good!

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Models-

Chanel Iman- Our favorite model to follow on Twitter. Chanel is so adorable, and has really awesome style (check out those boots!)

Tallulah Morton- She’s all over the Cobra Snake (in a Cory Kennedy way), and always looking fly.

Cole Mohr- This is for you Kirby.  Cole brought boyish and grunge to the fashion forefront, for models anyway. Plus he’s incredibly handsome, which definitely isn’t a bad thing.

Ethan James- Ethan is being seen more and more on the fashion scene (Milan fashion week, H & M, tons of editorial spreads), and has a similar look to Cole. I actually went to high school with this Ford model, and he’s been the most stylish guy I know since he was 15.

Jethro Cave- Pioneered the half-shaved head. LOVE those hanger tattoos.

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Fashion Personalities and Party People-

Alexa Chung- Whether she’s dressed to kill or wearing denim cutoffs, Alexa Chung is always on top of her game.

Chloe Sevigny- Great designer, great style icon. I’m in love with her buckle booties, which she is seen wearing a lot, paired with skinny pants or cute dresses. Definitely a hipster style icon.  We know she isn’t exactly under 25, but she’s been around for so long as a stylish designer to know, and like our moms, is one of those women that turn 25 every year for the rest of their lives.

Peaches Geldof- This social always looks gorgeous (as do all the Geldofs), for events or on the street with her fake fiance.

Aaron Kolfage- Fashion Indie’s favorite party host and dear friend, Aaron always looks fierce on Friday nights at Ruff Club. He dresses with such creativity, I haven’t seen anything like it anywhere else. This weekend, Aaron was wearing a giant tulle bowtie with a brooch in the middle, and I was mad jealous. Aaron gives us Midwesterners hope for being incredibly stylish, he’s from Michigan!

Fashion Bloggers-

Pelayo of Kate Loves Me – This guy, and his girlfriend, both have killer style. He wears some of the craziest things I’ve ever seen (including Louis Vuitton mesh tights!), and has perfectly coiffed hair at all times.

Lovisa The Intern- Lovisa Drever is all over Lookbook.nu, but I know her from Waffles + Falafels (who even briefly carried a shirt with her photo on it). She’s got a killer sense of style and can pull anything off, plus adds to the crazy personalities of W + F, who are some of my favorite people.

Six Six Sick Girls- These hosts and bloggers DIY matching outfits for their events, which include everything from red wigs to elbow gloves. They not only have a crazy (and matching) sense of DIY style, they also post some (literally) sick stuff on their blog.

Kirby Marzec- Fashion Indie’s own managing editor, Kirby not only knows everything about every designer, and what’s going to be hot next season, but she also isn’t afraid to pull it off. Whether it’s drop (to the knee) crotch pants, DIY ripped tees, or metal vests, you can be assured that Kirby will wear it, and she’ll wear it damn well.

Jazzi McG- We had a half hour long talk the other day about how much we love Jazzi’s blog, and her style.  A queen of DIYing and always dressed perfectly for the occasion, she’s definitely one to watch.

Tavi of Style Rookie-  Tavi is no rookie, maybe in the way that ‘Rookie of the Year’ becomes a professional baseball player, Tavi dresses better than some veterans of fashion.

Camille of Childhood Flames- Another not-even-legal fashion blogger showing that you don’t have to have a career to be fashionable, this sixteen year old is a pro at mixing designer goods with things we can afford, and is also taking advantage of the DIY world.

Lucas Logan- This 18-year-old from LA is all over the internet, model/blogger (Stylish Kids In Riot)/designer, Lucas is California’s newest ‘It’ Kid, braces and all.

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Musicians-

Uffie- I mean look at her, in.sane.

The Veronicas- I’ve followed The Veronicas since I was in high school, and their style has definitely evolved into rocker chic. They always look good separately, and even better together, on stage or off, and aren’t afraid to take risks.

Get the look that Nylon calls “mom jeans” with pleats and high waists, which is flattering on almost every figure. This style of jeans or pants are going to be, and already are, showing up in stores everywhere, but get yours first before everyone else! (The Elizabeth and James ones I featured last week are still my favorite, very Audrey Hepburn)

SOURCE: Fab Unfunded

Last night, the fashion people gathered at SoHo Grand to preview the new collection by Rad Hourani. Hourani told Style.com that this unisex line isn’t necessarily a diffusion line (priced from $100-400), but that “this is just more relaxed and easier to wear in cotton and jerseys.”  The line will be available in November online and in stores, perfect timing for these pieces, which include a lot of jackets, vests, super skinny jeans, t shirts, and perfectly draped shorts.  

Judging from the runway and all of the fashionable people there, must-haves for fall:

-guys in heels

-platforms

-destroyed tees

-partially shaved heads (for guys and girls)

-black, black, black

We had the pleasure of seeing the man himself, who was looking fabulous as to be expected.  Other sightings, Kelly Cutrone (who told us that she works out in her cowboy boots), Kate Lanphear, Malcom Harris.

See our photos of the runway show, and a few fashion people on Cult

(photo up top by Jak and Jil)

Isn't Zooey an It Woman by now?

So Nylon recently came out with a list of things to do if you want to be an “It Girl” for their October issue dedicated to the subject. Among the options, dating a rocker, being under 20 years old, and being the spawn of a celebrity made the list according to Jezebel. We’ve got our own thoughts on what it takes to be an “It Girl” but we must warn all that accomplishing all these might just get you an STD and a trip to rehab.

1. Crave a Shit Load of Attention. It’s the attention your parents never gave you cause they were too busy sniffing coke off of Fareah Fawcett’s ass during your quarterly P.T.A meetings. It’s the attention you crave when you hit the strip without a pair of coochy covers on. It’s the attention that makes you look sad enough to give up a “make me feel good” fuck to the first guy who looks your way. Believe me, guys are looking.

2. Suck Cock. Actually Suck a Shit Load of Cock. Like “Porn Star Trying To Break A Guinness World Record” Level Cock Sucking. Former geeky high school boys will pay attention to you if you do. The same boys who have no social life and a shit load of time to snap photos of people (rather than actually party with them) at clubs. The same boys who know HTML and aren’t afraid to blog it. The same boys who will upload your photos making you an “It Girl”. Doing so will guarantee Cory Kennedy fame within two face blasts. Be sure to avert your eyes.

Harley Viera Newton can It Girl. Can You?

3. Drink. A Lot. Drunk chicks dance, are loud as fuck, and get noticed at clubs. You should reek of alcohol every morning and wake up with random sploodge in your hair from all the photographers you blew the night before. (See tip number 2)

4. While You’re Drinking Snort Some Coke. Or Ecstasy. Or Heroin. Or Pixie Sticks. Seriously, drugs make you really, really, really cool. If you’ve been to rehab and you aren’t even old enough to vote you’re on the right track.

5. Look Like Jailbait. Or Better Yet, Be Jailbait. Underage girls get paparazzi and hipster photographers hotter than a 70% off sale at Urban Outfitters. Wax off all signs of pubescent hair and be sure to be slutty enough to get their attention but not slutty enough to seem like you know what your doing. A woman who’s actually capable of seducing someone freaks hipster photographers out and they’ll just blow their load before they snap your photo.

Cory Knows How to Be an It Girl

6. Stalk Dov Charney, Merlin Bronques, Cobrasnake or any other hipster with a camera then repeat steps 1 -5.

7. Shop, Work, and/or Pick Up Your Drug Supply from American Apparel. Seriously.

8. You + A Celebrity’s Dong + Video Camera with Night Vision = Instant “It Girl” Status.

Nudity Helps. ALLOT!!!

9. Don’t Weigh More Than The Thinner Olsen. Better yet, acquire an eating disorder like bulemia, anorexia, or that weird one from Sex and the City where the guy chews food but doesn’t actually swallow it. It Girls must be a size two or zero in order to get noticed and slip in and out of prison bars when their arrested for drunk driving/drug possession/smuggling Canadians across the US border.

10. Be White. Seriously.

11. Attempt To Be Something More Than An Over-Glorified Attention Whore. Consider modeling, becoming a DJ, or creating a t-shirt line. All require absolutely no skill whatsoever and will guarantee you get even more attention.

12. Skip The Higher Education Route. It Girls don’t need to be smart. They just need to be dumb enough to follow all these rules to a tee. Skip the community college application (did you really think NYU is an option when the web is littered with your half-coked out party images?) and just enroll in the school of hard cocks knocks.

Peaches Geldof Can It Girl With a Full Stomach. Can You?

13. Realize That There Is Only ONE Media Outlet That Gives A Fuck About You. Seriously, if it wasn’t for them, you wouldn’t exist so be sure to bend over backwards to appear on their Internet TV shows, support their yard sales, and pick up their dry cleaning while your at it.

Portia Freeman can do the It Girl. Can You?

14. Date Pete Doherty. Works everytime.

15. If All Else Fails There’s Always Lesbianism. It worked for Lindsay and it can work for you.

P.S. Before you all start claiming that I’m a woman hating, misogynistic, asshole let me state first and foremost that I am. If women want to accept a title that praises them for doing nothing more than dressing cute and getting photographed than they deserve to be shit on. If you truly believe in women’s empowerment then don’t support publications that insist on placing coked out, drunk whores on their covers, calling them “It Girls” or deeming their turds worthy of your attention. Let’s get real ladies.

On a side, if any of you want to be deemed “It Girls” by Fashion Indie, send us your photos and a small sentence on what the fuck you’ve done lately that makes you interesting. Dressing well helps (we are a fashion blog) but isn’t necessary. We’re looking for accomplishments like “Didn’t Drop Out of College”, “Just Hosted a Massively Cool Event”, or “Just Found a Cure for Male Pattern Pubic Baldness”. Send them to saynt@fashionindie.com and we’ll feauture you on the site.

Images from Gawker, Refinery29, and Nylon.

I think the one on the left is Sarah Jessica Parker

If there is one thing that gets fashion people harder than a sample sale at Marc Jacobs, it’s overdoing it when it comes to dressing. For years, fashion people have been poorly attempting to outdo each other and the result is some of the worst looks you can ever imagine. Over accessorized, over trimmed, and over done the fashion people that invaded the Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week tents this season were some of the worst looking batch of fashionophiliacs we’ve ever seen. Check out some of the baddies we spotted.

Pimping Ain't Easy, Especially When You're Liza Minelli.

Is that you Andre 3000?

The Gay Pout. One of the tragic side affects of smoking too much pipe.

Oh, God. You don't actually want me to shake that?!?

Grandpa's Off His Meds Again

If you really want to get in good with fashion people then you better know as many facts as possible about their favorite superhero, Carrie Bradshaw and her less fabulous alternate ego, Sarah Jessica Parker. The origin of this fashion heroine can be traced to the early 90’s, when failed actress Parker was down on her luck and ready to put an end to her dreams of A-list stardom. Movie roles had dried up and her days as a precocious teenager on “” were far behind her. While on the shoot for the Lifetime movie, “Breast Cancer, Retarded Babies, Divorce and The Day I Got Raped” Parker was visited by an old gypsy from the ancient kingdom of Lesbonia by the name of Patricia Fields. The gypsy handed Parker a mystical stiletto that when put on would instantly transform her into a famous fashion icon, but she warned that a curse was upon the shoes and in the process she would completely be typecast and would only see success in the role of one character. Parker instantly removed the fake pregnant belly and bald cap she had donned for her upcoming scene and put on the fateful footwear. Instantly, Parker’s frizzy locks straightened, her monster snooze shrunk, and her mind became filled with the supreme knowledge of couture and the full years schedule of international fashion weeks.

As Carrie Bradshaw, Parker was hired to play Candice Bushnell on an HBO show based on her New York Observer column, Sex and the City. The producers loved Carrie Bradshaw’s name so much, they decided to keep it, and Carrie Bradshaw’s name made it’s first connection to fame. The show was an instant success, thanks in major part to Parker suggesting that the old gypsy be brought on as costume designer. Women and gay men everywhere (so basically the whole fashion world) instantly fell in love with Carrie Bradshaw, making the show a massive hit. When the show went off the air, fashion people were devastated thinking their hero would be gone forever, but like any good comic hero death (Batman, Spiderman, Superman) Parker, dressed as Carrie, returned with a perfume, a fashion line for Dave & Barry’s, and multiple ad campaigns for the GAP (okay so most of those sounded more like Parker moves, but can you blame her for trying to make a buck). Parker was quickly feeling the sting of not being Carrie Bradshaw. In an attempt to test the gypsies curse she decided to make movies as Sarah Jessica Parker. Each attempt led to box office failure and it seemed that Sarah would slowly recede back into fame obscurity, only remembered as that fashion heroine from long ago.

Not wanting to be completely forgotten, Parker launched a campaign for the return of Carrie Bradshaw and Sex and the City. A team of writers were brought on to bring back the famous television show and create a story line that would completely ignore the happy endings told at the end of the series, opening new wounds and positioning its telling as a movie which would give Parker her first Hollywood blockbuster ever. Carrie Bradshaw’s face would be planted everywhere and her glorious return would be announced to her adorning fashion public. The gypsy was once again on hand (causing her to leave new Carrie in training Lucy Liu) and was asked to bring upon a new era of Carrie, a longer lasting era which would forever place her in the ethos of fashion. The gypsy brought 82 costume changes.

The movie hit theaters and the rest will surely be history as Carrie Bradshaw continues to slowly replace the actress once known as Sarah Jessica Parker. Wait, you thought this was a happy ending. Nah, son. That stiletto the gypsy gave her was actually a parasitic symbiote, similar to that black goo that tries to take over mild-mannered Peter Parker in Spiderman 3 and eventually creates Venom. Sarah Jessica Parker has been long gone, I think the last time she was seen was in that movie “The Family Stone” in which she played an unstylish New Yorker. After that shit fest, Sarah gave up on being her own person and Carrie Bradshaw won. You see the gypsy was really a witch, the stiletto a demonic spell, and the rest was just an Academy Award for Patricia Fields.

Where’s Parkers Oscar? Good question.

The moral of the story kids is beware of gypsies. They’ll get you every time.

All photos from SarahJessicaParkerLooksLikeaHorse.com

Oh, Karl, you mad, cad man.

Karl Lagerfeld is the Godfather of fashion. Like a more fashionable Brando, Karl lights up a screen with a fervor that is ill adjusted, yet seemingly appropriate for his old age. Few designers hold such clout and deserved recognition in the fashion world as much as the white-haired-one, and his sense of style and understanding of youth culture is almost enough old fart credidation to make John McCain seem like a viable Presidential client. The posterboy for “I’ll Retire When I’m Good and Dead”, Karl’s long standing pact with the Devil (Wintour this time, though it is very possible that Karl will live to 100 for one he crafted with the actual prince of darkness) has ensured that he remains at the helm of two of the most powerful fashion brands in the world, Chanel and Fend.

Fashion people love Karl Lagerfeld. They have seen Lagerfeld Confidential. They have owned/lusted over/or rocked a bootleg Chanel bag in an attempt to connect to his genius. They have read and memorized The Karl Lagerfeld Diet. To all extents and purposes, Karl Lagerfeld is the fashionable father of every fashionista and gay boy who dreams of one day designing couture. He is grandpa fashion, and because of that there are a few rules you need to know when talking about him to other fashion people.

Rule Number 1. Karl Lagerfeld is not old. This is a hard one to swallow but one that must be obeyed for fear of retribution by the strictest of fashion devotees. Karl can be described as young at heart, in touch with the cultural generation, but mention his age (about 75 years old) and you might be castrated.

Rule Number 2. Karl Lagerfeld is a genius. He has never really done anything but design, but he is a genius. You should be ready to quote his accomplishments and favorite collections. If you don’t, fashion people will assume you are an idiot and ignore you until you lose 93 pounds on his diet.

Rule Number 3. Karl Lagerfeld understands youth. He runs two major fashion labels which appeal to rich kids. He’s friends with the Olsen Twins. And he’s in Grand Theft Auto 4. Let’s see your grandpa try to accomplish that shit.

Rule Number 4. Karl Lagerfeld wears his sunglasses at night. The theory behind this is that Karl died while trying to lose all that weight. He was replaced by a robot since Chanel and Fendi had invested shit loads of cash into his career. The glasses hide his dead, mechanical glare. The gloves, his exposed wires. Every fashion person is aware of this fact but fear that Lagerfeld Bot 2000 will sneak into their homes at night and strangle them with a Chanel handbag strap has kept anyone from exposing the truth. If you are ever in his presence it’s best to not make any direct eye contact. He can read your retinal pattern and identify you immediately. Once your in his database you’re marked for life so be careful.

Rule Number 5. Karl Lagerfeld wants to get into Hedi Slimane’s pants. It’s true.

(Knock at the door)

Daniel Saynt - “Who is it?”

Mechanical voice from the other side of the door – “It is your good friend Karl Lagerfeld. Would you like to hang out and play an invigorating game of Grand Theft Auto 4. Yo.”

(Loud beeps and bloops.)

Daniel Saynt - “No thanks man, I’m working. Maybe later.”

(Door busts open)

Lagerfeld Bot 2000 – “Does not compute. Does not compute. Kill. Kill. Kill”

Daniel Saynt - “No, please don’t. I’m just a lowly blogger. No. Agggg!!! I Fucking” *cough “hate” *choking “Chanel” Uggh!!

All men. All idiots.

I just ate some garlic. You smell that.

Haha, silly woman, you wish I’d kiss you cause I’m so fucking sexy.

Female fashion people love them a gay designer.

Nearly every fashion-line out there has some inspiration or influence by a gay designer. In every major fashion house, there is at least one gay man pulling at the strings and creating works of fashion “art” which are unwearable, unbearably revealing and most of the time only flattering to .02% of the population. Why?

Cause gays are men. And men are idiots.

Not to get all on the side of feminism here, but why is it that so much of what you wear is influenced by a man? Men don’t know jack about woman and gay men are especially tuned out to your needs since nothing about your figure or body satisfies them physically. They’re looking for twigs and berries and all you offer is, well, you know what you have to offer. So who are gay men designing clothing for? If they were designing for women, don’t you think they would start with a sketch that’s more aligned with the way women really look, instead of designing clothes for stick figures? Last time I checked size two is not the normal woman. Gay designers don’t care about your weight issues, your insecurities, and your self destructive desire to fit their mold. Why else would so many gay male designers be opposed to the idea of enlisting a weight requirement on the runway? If they actually cared about women, wouldn’t they be the first to jump at the chance to properly represent them in their work? Why don’t they care?

Cause gays are men. And men are idiots.

Most of the clothing that makes up high-fashion are “outrageously-priced items worn by stick-thin, boobless models with boyish figures who have landed the job because their aesthetics appealed to some gay man somewhere who has no physical use for a woman other than as a walking hanger.” At least that’s the way Tracey Egan, editor of Jezebel.com, feels about the subject as quoted in her recent Vice magazine write up on why she hates fashion. So why do fashion people love gay designers?

Cause gays are men. And men are idiots.

Yeah, hold her down and make her drink pee.
Haha stupid girl, I bet you want me, but you can’t have me.

That’s right, women love gay designers cause they are men. And somewhere deep in the female conscienceness is a little programmed bug that tells us one thing, men rule the world. It’s because of this that more women haven’t stood up and demanded changes in fashion. It’s because of this that we have anorexic models paraded down the runway, emaciated with zero percent body fat, telling women that they are too fat if they are a size 6. And it’s because of this that nearly everything you’ll find in high fashion magazines like Vogue, Elle and Harpers Baazar is designed to make you feel like shit cause you aren’t a thin enough, sexy enough, or man enough to pull it off.

Cause gays think you’re fat. And women are idiots.

“Karl stopped by the other day and was so pissed that i-D blasted his collection.”

“I told Vera, I’d love for her to design my wedding dress, but I’d really prefer it if Roberto did it.”

Claim Jeremy as a friend and Kanye and Cory Kennedy get included for free 

As long as there have been fashion designers, there have been delusion nobodies that seem to think they know them.  Fashion people will insist without injury that they are related, best friends, or somehow connected to the top tier of who’s who designers. Marc Jacobs becomes Marc, their favorite drinking buddy, Tom Ford becomes Uncle Tom, their babies Godfather and Georgio Armani becomes George, their midnight confidant.

The reason why?  Cause after watching The Devil Wears Prada, one too many times, and hitting season after season of runway shows, fashion people become delusional, referring to designers they have never actually met as one name friendlies by which they “believe” they spend all their free time with.  Of course, the only course of action to combat such behavior is to embark on it yourself. When a fashion person randomly mentions a designer in a personal manner, just look them straight an the eye and say “You know [[insert designers first name here]]. We go way back, I was his intern/lover/dealer back in the day.  Do you have his number, I’d love to give him a call.”At this point the fashion person will take two possible courses of action.

99.9% of the time the person will begin to stutter and backtrack and admit that they don’t know the designer personally. Ignore these people at all costs as they are the plague of the fashion world.

Of course the other .1% of fashion people will get defensive and overly protective of the information you requested. If this is the case, you might actually be talking with someone who knows a famous designer.  Befriend them quickly, cause you never know when the call may come in to head to an all night kegger at said designers party.  Remember, no one parties harder than waif-like models on two hits of Columbia’s finest, no one.

Nicky’s rules included gems like “Don’t buy up every “it bag.” They go out of style fast. Invest in a classic.” and “Wear color. It gets you noticed.“, which are completely useless unless you want to look like a poor imitation of Nicky Hilton, which is as bad as looking like Paris Hilton’s hairless clamshell (which seems to get more press and attention than Nicky herself). So without further ado indies, here are Daniel Saynt’s style rules. That’s right, I have my own.

1. The only stupid statement is one not made. Over think every single item you’re wearing cause if you can get dressed in like 10 minutes you’re not trying hard enough. The Satorialist is out their people and he will not take your pretty little picture if you look like an American Eagle ad. Dress until you bleed, then you might be worthy of being called stylish.

2. Stylish cities move. Los Angeles was the shit in the early 2000s, then Williamsburg took the crown, until London came along and kicked our asses. Next stop, Jamaica.

3. As soon as a celebrity wears it, it’s completely uncool, unless the celebrity is Chloe Sevigny, at which time you are looking at what will be cool in about five years. Seriously, it’s quite scary.

4. Gay men will always try and tell you what will make you look attractive. Don’t listen to them because they like dicks and last time I checked dicks are not attractive.

5. When all else fails, go naked. No one’s doing it and you will be heralded as a pioneer amongst the fashion elite as your stupid ass is escorted to prison.

6. If you’re stylish and you know it clap your hands. *clap*clap

7. Smoking adds “cool” to any outfit, so does cocaine and heroin needles so sprinkle sparingly.

8. Two words. Glitter Underwear.

9. If all else fails get pregnant. No one expects pregos to be stylish.

10. Rules are for idiots who hang on every word Tim Gunn/Stacey London/Robert Verdi/Carson Kressley/Nina Garcia/Rachel Zoe/Christine Schwab/Kate Spade/Tommy Hilfiger/Lloyd Boston/Brenda Kinsel/Clinton Kelly/Bradley Bayou/William Sledd spew. If you follow anyones style rules they should be your own. Truly stylish people break rules.

PS – Funny fact, non of the men listed in Rule 10 are straight. I’d call that a fashion epidemic. I’d like to volunteer my services as the first and only straight fashion guy in the universe, because this shit is bananas. Why do women insist on getting advice on how to look sexy from men who are “just not that into them”? Just saying.

Shock. Awe. And more shock, right?  It’s true non-fashion people, most fashion people are liars that would rather claim something is old as Jesus than admit that they picked it up from the bargain bin of H&M, Urban Outfitters, or worse Forever 21.  The reason. While some might claim it’s due to the fact that in fashion years one season is more than enough time to claim something as “vintage” (it’s true we live in dog years), the truth is that fashion people are not allowed to claim that they shop at any fast retailers.

Ya see, a long, long time ago around the year that Tommy Hilfiger was reanimated by the Nazi’s to take over American fashion and Anna Wintour sacrificed Grace Mirabella to her father Bealzabub fewer brands were being marketed to the public in the pages of Vogue.  Fewer ads meant less direction for the proposed fashion elite.  Then came branding initiatives from Tommy, Cowboy Ralph and hundreds of other whores, which quickly created marketing opportunities to guide the hudled fashion masses.  The marketing came in the form of logos, labels and other easily identifiable images that defined how much something was worth. Wear a good label and suddenly your worth  a hell of a lot more.

Over the years this practiced defined which stores fashion people could shop at without looking like their poor unfashionable brethren.  Over-priced fashion was king and all was good in the land of Wintour.  Of course, then came the Vintage Craze and suddenly everyone wanted those shitty, labelless collections that fashion people had once shunned. A new wave of fashionistas we’re dropping serious dough on $10 J.C.Penny dresses from the 70’s and discounted Woolworth moo-moo’s from the 60’s.  The shitty fashions of yesteryears we’re becoming the must have items of today.  Which  brings us back to H&M, Urban Outfitters and Forever 21.  See, it’s okay for a fashion person to shop at those spots now, because even though they aren’t really vintage today, in a few years they will be, and to a fashion persons that’s good enough, which is why they will never claimed it’s discount chic, it’s vintage.

The catwalk has always been a spectator sport, but now what all fashion people are secretly wishing for isn’t the perfect print or use of exotic leathers, it’s a full-on, cringe-inducing, knock a tooth out tumble from one the anorexic clothes hangers on the runway. This desire is deep suited in the narcissistic psyche of the fashion person, who at all times wants to look better than everyone in the room, even when half the room is filled with models.

When talking to a fashion person it’s important to have a few great runway spills in your memory. Here’s a list of our Top Ten Model Falls to keep you slightly more relevant that Rachel Zoe at the helm of Holsten.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XdrvcLyB6-I[/youtube]

1. Jessica Stam at Chloé, Fall 2006. It was the fall felt round the world — and thanks to YouTube, it was seen around the world too. Stam’s right foot tripped her up; her body to collapsed forward; her forehead hit the runway. It made even your most embarrassing schoolyard fall look weak. But while you probably would’ve burst into tears, this trooper got right back up — to applause.

2. Milana Bogolepova at Dior, Resort 2008. Stiletto sandals and swimsuit cover-up proved too much for poor Bogolepova, who tottered so badly that she hit the ground not once, but twice. Official blame fell on her pin-thin heels, though there were vicious whispers backstage of just how much pre-show champers was consumed.

3. Elise Crombez at Proenza Schouler, Spring 2007. Again, dangerous shoes were to blame. Crombez’s sky-high heels made her pitch forward, like a runner at the start line. The audience gasped, the photographers cringed, but somehow, the girl escaped with knees unscathed.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-cqUj99zMI[/youtube]

4. Kamila W. at Vivienne Westwood, Spring 2007. Kamila’s trip was excruciating — and hilarious. Her first tumble brought her to her knees. Then, after getting back up and fluffing her hair, her ankles give — and this time, she nearly broke them. Sadly, her fame seems to end here.

5. Iekeliene Stange at Marc Jacobs, Spring 2007. Faced with a slick runway, Stange gave up on trying to maneuver the catwalk in slippery shoes. She kicked off her sandals — to much applause — and continued the walk barefoot. Now that’s how to handle a fall.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VHzH5cJnFZ8[/youtube]

6. Carmen Electra at Max Factor Fashion Show. Few falls bring as much joy as watching former Baywatch babe, Carmen Electra take a dive at a Max Factor Fashion Show. Rumors say that this fall created such a frenzy, that Carmen now refuses to allow photographers to take snaps of her runway adventures, as noted at a future performance at 2(x)ist Spring 2008.

Want more. Of course you do, you’re becoming a fashion person…

Model Falling at Karl Lagerfeld

Tiiu Kuik Falling on the runway of Oscar de la Renta

Naomi Campbell Falls on her Ass at Vivienne Westwood

Model Trip Up at Zac Posen

Don’t believe us?  Read today’s Post article on Marc Jacobs recent adventure with Austin A (are their Austin’s B – Z waiting in the backdrop) and a Jason Preston look-a-like ( last time I checked all former escort, twinks look the same).

“MARC Jacobs is already bickering with his brand-new boy toy, Austin A. The rehabbed designer brought Austin to Los Angeles for the weekend, where they ended up squabbling most of the trip. It started Thursday at Foxtail lounge when Jacobs was seen kissing both Austin and another man. “Marc showed up at Foxtail with Austin and another guy who looked just like his ex, Jason Preston, with tattoos and a cut-off shirt,” said our spy. “Marc was dressed in a tank top and black sweat pants. He looked like a mess. He was kissing both of the guys, bouncing back and forth between them and acting loony. (most likely due to the happy dust)” The trio stayed at the West Hollywood lounge until closing, then headed back to the Chateau Marmont where Jacobs was staying.”

They then proceeded to bump uglies with Grandpa Jacobs.

In order to understand a fashion persons love for Paris, you must understand the Parisian mindset.  This is a city where dressing like a bum is considered a faux pas, where graphic tees are only acceptable if they cost you 100 euros, and where sneakers are forbidden.  Also, take into account that everyone is thin, even though a good portion of their diets consist of loaves of french bread.  This coupled with the power of french designers like John Paul Gautier, Hedi Slimane, and Yves Saint-Laurent, and you’ve got a city that can easily overshadow any for title of capital of fashion (sorry New York, it’s true).

When discussing Paris with a fashion person it is smart to ignore any patriotical ideals.  Freedom fries are for mid-west, fatties who actually indulge in greasy foods. Remember, that while historically we have bailed the beret wearing weak wrists a couple of times, to fashion people the French saved us from dreary couture and American style.  It is important to remember this during Paris Fashion Week, which is kind of like an Independence Day for couture addicts and styleaholics.  Comments like “I wish I lived in Paris” or “Napoleon is my homeboy” are all acceptable ways to share your love for the land of Lagerfeld.

When commenting on a fashion persons look, it’s always important to ask if any pieces came from Paris.  This will make the fashion person feel special, since some piece most likely did.  If they say yes, be sure to further praise the fashion person for shopping in Paris or supporting Parisian designers.  They will most likely salute you for your prowess and offer to invite you to their next Paris Resistance meeting (the underground is real people, and one day we will rise).

P.S. Be aware of who you are talking to about Paris.  To anyone who’s not a fashion person, references of Paris will by default make them think of the herpes infested socialite of Hilton decent.  Comments like “I just spent a night in Paris” will illicit dirty thoughts and offers from Joe Francis to release a sex tape.

“Oh My God, this one is so cute. How much?” 

Another gay black runway coach is throwing his hat into the ring. His name is MAC (yes, only one name like Madonna) and he’s the star of Ford TV’s recent two part series on walking the runway.  We enjoy profiling these for you as they are a very real part of fashion.  Just check out Stuff Fashion People Like #1 for more on this phenomenon.

Dear Z’maji,

My word, I am so offended at the way you talk about people. I mean post after post you attack as if you have the right to comment on peoples lives. Where do you get off?!?!

Sincerely,

Douchey McDouchebag

You know you like it you whore! If you didn’t you wouldn’t keep reading while clutching your unmentionables thrilled at the promise of slaughter. You want blood! We’re the only thing standing between the sanity of the public and the complete buffoonery of the undeservedly famous, what with their bull puckie “fashion” lines and piss water fragrances (yeah, we’re talking to you Lauren Conrad). We know you wake up in the morning, adjust your Fruit Of The Looms and flick on your laptop to read Fashion Indie and see who we’re destroying that day as if we were peddlin’ free porn. Yeah, you like that don’t you Indie?

Now some of you – some of you are just askin’ for it, you sadomasochistic degenerates! You love when we rip you a new one for wearing that piece of trash yo’ mama knitted for over the holidays and guilted you into wearing in the presence of actual people. There you are in the society pages and fashion columns lookin’ a mess, but you had to know we’d see it! It’s cuz you wanted it you trick ass trollop, you like the abuse.

Pretending to try so hard as you comb through every fashion mag and blog, looking for the new thing, the latest trend, wearing things that you don’t even like cuz you think – that we think it’s HOT. Truth is, you’d take a jagged edge to your carotid artery if you couldn’t check out who was trashin’ your name and your unfortunate ensemble choice. Wardrobe malfunction, HA! More like a catastrophic Doomsday event!

You’re welcome.

-Z’maji, The Glam’Rist

Stuff Fashion People Like makes the front page of Glam.com

If you looked into the handbag of a fashion person their are three things you will undoubtingly find, a skin smoothing cover-up, a pack of cigarettes, and print-out of a recent press clipping featuring their photo, name or obscure reference to their circle of friends.  Sad, yet true, fashion people are obsessed with media attention.

Getting attention from a major media outlet is better than finding a pair of shoes of sale or watching a runway model face plant on the runway. Fashion people are media whores who will give it up to the first journalist or photographer that promises to add their name or photo to a story.  The equivalent of a free happy ending, attention from any newspaper, magazine, blog or random party photog is more than enough to give a fashion person a full-on, worth reaffirming orgasm (the clean kind, there’s no need to stain the chiffon).  Since most fashion people are a tad bit self-absorbed media attention verifies their position on the food chain and gives them fodder for further stroking their own ego and making those around them take notice/feel like a worthless piece of shit.

The perfect openers for getting in with a fashion person include “Aren’t you that designer/model/high-paid escort that was in the New York Times last week?” or “I read all about you on FashionIndie.com. Congrats on curing camel toe.”.  Even if the fashion person wasn’t in either they will nod in agreement and thank you for acknowledging their media worthyness.  Another great trick is to walk around with a camera around your neck and make this statement, “I’m with Vogue”.  I circle will instantly form around you as every fashion person in the room begins to pose and chuck business cards in your face for correct spellings of their names.  This trick will work at parties, on line at the supermarket, and even if you’re taking a shit so be careful of how loudly you say it since you’ll be flocked by all within earshot.

If you are trying to become a fashion person it is important to have some friends in the media.  Points are awarded for the type of coverage you receive so use this handy reference to guarantee that your efforts are not wasted.  Remember, you haven’t graduated to the position of a true media worthy fashion person until you’ve accumulated at least 100 points.

30 Points – Vogue – If Winnie deems you worthy expect a full on flock of fashion hanger-ons who will befriend you for a possible future photo op. Choose your fashion friends carefully at this point. The last thing you want is a Pablo (Olea) hanging around you for every snapshot.

25 Points  – The New York Times, New York Magazine – Two very powerful fashion tomesthat will deem your status amongst fashion elitist like Diane Von Furstenburger,  Marc Jacobs, and Ralph “The Marlboro Man” Lauren. Just be aware that this is the type of stuff older fashion people read, so expect a flock of the geriatric crowd to know your name at benefits and the retirement home.

20 Cool Points - V Magazine, Purple, Fantastic Man, French Vogue – While most people don’t pick up these magazines the people who do will know your name, buy you drinks, invite you to their coke den, and offer you more sexual favors than a teenager at a Dov Charney pool party.  (a.k.a. if any of the editors of these magazines are reading this my name is Daniel Saynt. I’m the president of Fashion Indie and I’d love to be a self gratifying media whore someday, so write about me.)

10 Points – Paper Magazine – They try so hard to be hip. It’s kind of cute.

5 Points – Gawker.com – It will most likely make you look like a total asshole who likes to kill babies on the weekends, but if their talking about you you’re most likely the shit.

1 Point – Cobra Snake, Last Nights Party, House of the Vain – Nightlife photographers love snapping pictures of pretty fashion people.  Getting on these sites gives you some cred, but not enough unless you build up a big collection. Also, it doesn’t count if Merlin shot a photo of your tits.  That’s actually negative points so be careful.

- 1 Point – Local news stations and papers – Don’t get profiled or snapped by the San Antonio Times or the CW 11 News. That’s just embarrassing and not becoming of a fashion person.

- 10 Points – Your Own Blog – Don’t be pathetic.  Let the professionals blog.  Stick to reading us daily, okay sweetie.

-  1000 Points – American Apparel Ad - We all know how you got the gig. Only swimsuit models and Kimora Lee Simmons are allowed to screw their way to the top.

While the model, by itself, is a powerful concept, it is the supermodel that really pulls at the heart strings of fashion people.  Faster than a speeding snapshot, more powerful than a loco stylist, and able to leap long runways in a single bound, the supermodel owned the covers of every magazine and ad campaign for most of the 80’s and 90’s.  Iman, Naomi Campbell, Claudia Schiffer, Cindy Crawford, and amazingly enough that living corpse Janice Dickenson were once so popular that they didn’t have to make ends meet on shitty reality shows.  Granted not all supermodels have been shipped to the proverbial slaughter house that is Bravo or worse, VH1 Celebreality (the equivalent of a washed-up celebrity retirement home). Many have prolonged their careers by engaging in the following acts; a) getting arrested and being publicly humiliated when pictures of them engaging in community service surface (Naomi Campbell), b) getting caught riding the white horse and being publicly humiliated when pictures of their coked up adventures surface (Kate Moss), or c) getting an amazing plastic surgeon and skipping the whole publicly humiliated thing (Cindy Crawford).

Of course now, the supermodel has been replaced by the supercelebrity, a peculiar entity that has it’s own fanbase, can actually articulate a sentence, and doesn’t require a kilo of coke (most of the time) in order to show up to a photoshoot. While most fashion people accept the current climate of the supercelebrity, the majority pine for the days of yore, when the prettiest girls weren’t the ones so easily accessible for the price of a movie ticket.  For this reason, the pencil-thin, vapid, clothing hanger known as the model still holds a place in the heart of fashion people.

When discussing models with fashion people it is always important to know a little history.  Remember, Kate Moss wasn’t always losing jobs to younger, cheaper girls like Agyness Deyn and older fashion people like to recall those good old days (let’s call them “last year”) since they make them feel younger when they secretly stand in front of the mirror and pose in their Burberry trench coats (we all do it, let’s admit it). Throwing new names at them like Chanel Iman will make them nervous and they will most likely make statements like “The age of the supermodel is dead, long live the celebrity” or “I don’t pay attention to the new girls cause they all look the same”.  This is a default answer for any older fashion person who is affraid to accept the fact that a slew of younger, thinner faces have already taken a hold of the fashion world, slowly building careers and followings that rival the ancient greats.

When speaking with younger fashion people, it is important to know about the new slew of nearly-super models.  Gemma Ward and Lily Cole are great conversation starters, but if you really want to sound like you’ve got some fashion depth, mention girls that don’t make the runways of Zac Posen. Statements like “Agyness is great, but she doesn’t have as much cred as Audrey Kitching“  or “I wish American Vogue was brave enough to let Andre J on it’s cover” will make you seem well versed in modeldom, so sprinkle them in conversations as gently as models sprinkle pepper (won’t retain as much water as salt) on their low-fat celery sticks.

PS. It is not okay to watch, follow, or discuss the happenings or models on Tyra Bank’s “America’s Next Top Model” or Bravo’s “Make Me A Supermodel”.  Everyone knows there is no such thing as a successful reality show model. It is an urban legend propagated by the Church Cult  of Scientology.

The reason for the issues continued success is cause these special editions of Vogue normally contain an unsurmountable collection of editorial fashion spreads (ads).  The fashion spreads (ads) are filled with the looks that fashion people must wear for the new season in order to keep up the the current trends. Anna Wintour’s devotion to fashion (the bottom line) ensures that each of these giant-sized issues remain timeless tomes to our current place in fashion (aka as disposable as an H&M dress).

In order to understand the true power of the giant-sized spring and fall issues of Vogue, you must be at the newstand the day it arrives and lug it’s 85lbs of printed goodness home with you. At home you must light the candles in your Anna Wintour shrine (if you haven’t built one yet, get on it before a fashion person arrives at your home and reports your heresy to the CFDA).  Then lay in bed (be sure your bed can support the extra weight) and begin flipping through the pages taking special note of editorials (ads) and how they are laid out in the magazine.  This will give you ample talking points when “the dark days” are over and all fashion people return to the streets wearing the new uniforms assigned by Vogue.

Statements like “I love how Wintour laid out that Gucci ad with their resort collection on the page before the Armani spread for their new perfume. How daring!!!”, will garner you respect and admiration amongst fashion people so be ready to have a few of these set for conversation.  Remember, Vogue is the closest thing fashion people have to a bible, so it’s important to give it the respect it deserves by picking up each edition and spending all you money on the designer goods featured in it’s pages and pages of spreads (ads).

Trend forecasters are the Sylvia Browns of the fashion world, which means they are over paid, chain smoking mythomaniacs who garner huge amounts of praise and acclaim for deriving psychic-like predictions from their asses. Editors & designers (the kings and mostly queens of the fashion world) will pay thousands of dollars for a sampling of what these soothsayers have to offer. “Cerelion is the new blue” or “Gaucho pants will be big for spring 2010″ are often seen as amazing feats of forecasting that are only privy to the ears of the highest bidders.

Once such information is collected by the royals, it is dispensed amongst the pheasant class fashionistas in the form of magazine articles and runway shows which encompass predicted color schemes and styles. These “trends” provide a uniform for fashion people who have no personal style and are unable to formulate their own original look. More importantly “trends” allow fashion people to criticize those who don’t follow them. Statements like “Wait, you seriously don’t own a pair of fuscia riding boots!?! Tragic.” and “I couldn’t live without my [insert seasonal must have here]. Oh, I’m sorry you didn’t pre-order one? How sad for you.” are common amongst the most trend obsessed fashion people.

When dealing with the trend dependent fashion person it’s always important to take note of their “stylish” look. Show that you are current on all seasonal trends by commenting on the colors and styles they are wearing. This will make the fashion person feel even more elite and will allow them to embrace your presence. If asked about your style, it is smart to say that it is based on a future trend or one from the runways of Europe or some obscure fashion week in Guam. Remember, anything you wear can be deemed a trend. The velour Juicy track suit you refuse to take off can be reinvented as “Hollywood reject chic from the runways of Berlin, Spring 2008″. The over-sized denim and striped shirt you’re addicted to can be “a recent look on the runways of Tibet called “Jersey Douchebag”. Upon hearing these descriptions the fashion person will instantaneously praise you for your trendsetting bravery and will even ask for the hotline number of your pay-per-minute trend psychic.

If you ever plan to become a fashion person, you must know Marc Jacobs. Granted most of his work is a bit overrated and, true, if you compared him to other big designers, his overall influence to the world of fashion is neligable (unless you consider making “grunge” expensive an accomplishment), but never, ever, under any circumstances say this to a fashion person. Such remarks are considered heresy and could result in a public flogging or worse, expulsion to the standing room section of a New York fashion show.

The best way to reference Jacobs is as gospel. Statements like “Marc F:07 reminded us of the importance of accessories. Praise Marc.” or “Marc S:05 gave new meaning to the mini. Praise Marc.” are acceptable ways to reference the designer while still maintaining your respect for his divinity.

Fashion people love to feel some connection to the designer, at times feeling like their prayers have been answered when a certain piece comes down his runway.  You will often see fashion people jumping around and speaking in tongues (preferably French) during his shows, as if the spirit of Jacobs has magically entered them.  Do not be afraid when this happens, just join them and hopefully the spirit will enter you as well.

It is always smart to assume a fashion person is wearing Marc Jacobs. When you approach one ask them if the skirt/jeans/strap-on they have on is from the designer. They will most likely say yes, even if the piece is actually from H&M or a Forever 21 knock-off.

Other things to keep in mind is Jacobs persistently over-the-top parties. Getting invited to such an event is cause for celebration, as you will most likely see the designer in some ridiculous get-up, a humble reminder to his followers that he is in fact human and has a wonderful sense-of-humor.  Previous costumes have included dressing like a pigeon, a camel toe, and more recently a twink.

When encountering fashion people it’s always smart to carry a small amount (about half a kilo) of the powdery dust in your back pocket. When used in a pick up line you are almost guaranteed a “fun time” (also see a night with a vapid stick figure who won’t shut up or fall asleep). Suggested intros could include, “Hi, I have coke. Wanna come to my apartment?” With this line you are almost guaranteed the model / scenester / cast member of Gossip Girl of your choice.  Other lines like “My brother and me just smuggled 36 kilos in our asses from Bolivia,” have also been known to work, but often result in a stampede of pencil thin women clawing at you, so proceed with caution.  Remember cocaine is like the Axe body spray of the fashion world, one sniff and you’ll be attacked by more skeleton bags than you’ll know what to do with.

If a fashion person ever offers you coke, be sure to comment on how good it is. Comparing it to coke you have had with someone who’s in a higher status level will make the fashion person feel superior for finding a great dealer. Comments like “This stuff is just as great as the coke I snorted with Marc at his Fall 2006 after party,” will cement your status as a successful namedropper and bfff (best fashion friend forever).
Finishing with “He was so much more fun before he went all Winehouse on us,” will further help to drive home your “it” factor and may result in your new friend introducing you to his dealer, an act that’s equal to meeting a future mother-in-law in the eyes of a fashion person.

Not only viewed as the most important accessory, shoes double as a status gauge for the most fashionable. The amount of shoes a fashion person has is often in direct correlation to their value in the community. You will often find fashion people comparing the size of their collection in a way similar to how men might compare penis size or bank accounts. “I have so many shoes I needed to move into a new apartment” is not a uncommon statement in the fashion world, or “I had to send my senile mother to the nursing home to make room for the third wing of my shoe closet.” If you encounter such fashion people be sure to mention that your own personal collection equal in value to the yearly gross revenue of Tanzania. This will not only increase your value in the fashion community, but will also make it seem like you have a good understanding of Africa, a trait that is praised amongst fashion people (see Gucci for Madonna for Malawi).

When a fashion person is not talking about shoes they are talking about getting shoes so be ready to offer some great spots where shoes are exclusive/inexpensive/made from some illegal or endangered skin like human. The fashion person will instantly call you their friend and will insist that all conversations stop until you find the shop you are speaking of. Be sure to pack a lunch, as a shoe shopping trip with a fashion person will most likely last 2-3 days.

Another important thing to never forget is the Holy Trinity of shoe designers. Worshiped more than Jesus Christ and Marc Jacobs combined, the Holy Trinity is Manolo Blahnik (The Father), Jimmy Choo (The Son), and Christian Louboutin (The Holy Spirit). If you cannot identify every pair of these shoes from every single collection, you will be jeered and scathed by fashion people. If you don’t own at least one pair from each designer, you will be expelled from the fashion community and will be seen as religiously devout as Britney Spears was to Kaballah.

Dogs have long been seen by fashion people as the ultimate accessory. Available in hundreds of shapes, sizes and colors man’s four-legged friend goes with nearly any outfit in a fashion persons wardrobe. Pomeranians make great tag alongs for the fashionista rocking fox fur, while greyhounds pair nicely with a Francisco Costa minimalist (and help even the most anorexic model look “plump”).

Every fashionista has or at least has the desire to own a dog. They will spend hours on end pampering and professing their love for these beast, even using them as a reason to justify their fur lust. When approached by PETA members and asked if they hate animals, a fashion person will simply answer “No, I love dogs”, and quickly turn around allowing their 3000 chinchilla skin coat to strike the face of the inquisitive activist.

If you encounter a fashion person be sure to mention your own personal admiration for dogs. It would be smart to have a few pictures available of dogs you love. Be sure that the pictures are of small or expensive rare breeds as this will add to your status and make you valued amongst the fashion crowd. An acceptable gift when entering a fashion persons home is any item from Juicy Couture’sdog line, which includes necessities like pawfum (perfume), pawlish (nail polish) and fur trim coats. The fashion person will not only be impressed but may even let you play with their fashionable pooch once he returns from his day of pampering from the dog spa.

The love of cigarettes amongst the fashion community dates back to the days when Kate Moss was a mere teenager (approximately 350 years ago by most accounts). Her ability to make smoking seem “heroine chic” inspired nearly the entire fashion world to join her for a quick fag, one which has yet to be put out today.

When spending time with fashion people be sure to pick up a packet of smokes. Make sure that the brand you carry is obscure and a bit mysterious. Cigarettes from distant locals like Moracco or Belize work best, but if rare, over-priced cigs can’t be found be sure to opt for the most expensive brand available. No Newports or Parliments. These brands would only suggest that you do not belong, since only poor people and those with “real” smoking addictions smoke these brands.

The skinniest fashion people are usually those who smoke the most (smoking is a well known low calorie meal replacement), so look for them at the party or runway show you are attending. Most fashion people don’t care where they are when they smoke so you may be able to spot them by the trail of smoke excreting from their yellowed bear-traps. If none can be found inside, head outdoors where a cloud of smoke will greet you as you walk by your targeted fashion people. engage them in a deep conversation by asking for a light. Fashion people will feel a sense of accomplishment from lighting you cigarette, a feeling that will render them 50% annoyed and 50% like they’re the Mother Teressa of fashion. Be sure to stroke their ego and compliment them on the shoes/blouse/ass-less chaps they’re wearing and they may actually invite you inside to meet their friends, which is the equivalent of getting an invite to a house-party hosted by Marc Jacobs. Be thankful, walk inside and before meeting anyone, run back outside to smoke another cigarette. The attention alone will warrant you goodess status amongst the fickle crowd for a full 30 minutes.

Because she is “the Devil” and fashion people are sadist.

Introduced to the United States in the 70’s by an Australian surfer, Ugg’s (or Ugglies as most fashion people will call them) grew in popularity during the brief Bohemian trend of the early 2000’s when celebrities like the Olsen sisters and Sienna Miller began wearing the sheepskin shoes. Within a few hours fashion people began to embrace the odd looking hoof. Within two days they got over it.

The Uggs refused to go away though, which shocked many fashion people who didn’t seem to understand why the masses weren’t following in their dislike of the shoe. Of course, the shock quickly faded once fashion people realized that there was finally some sort of watermark that could now distinguish the fashionable from the un-fashionable. While most of America began falling in love with the Ugg scene for it’s comfort and “star-appeal”, fashionistas everywhere formed little cliques around their mutual dislike and began routinely trashing anyone who wore Ugglies.

Fashion people could once again show how much better they we’re than anyone else by not wearing the hideous shoes, which they never did (unless it was Halloween and they decided to dress like a “commoner”). Stilettos and other forms of foot torture still reigned in fashion, but Uggs did not.

Remember all this when speaking with fashion people. It is never, ever, under any circumstances, Ok to be in their presence if you are wearing Ugglies. They will look at your face, look at your sheepskin monstrosities, and then look at your face again and within seconds your value will diminish to that of a Forever 21 shopper.

If the subject of Ugglies is brought up, remember that a complete dislike and hatred of the shoe is the only acceptable response to any questions about them. To really drive the point home suggest to them that you would love to see a gestapo set up that will travel to the homes of Ugg wearers and steal their shoes/murder them. An open bonfire of thousands of Uggs/corpses would be attended by all fashion people.

If you do choose to keep a pair for days when you will not be around fashion people, be sure to keep them hiding in your attic. The day may one day come when the Fashion Police are knocking down the doors of you and your neighbors. It’s safer to Anne Frank those things then get caught up with the crowds. Remember, in fashion love and hate are two very interchangeable ideas. Fashion people love to hate so you never know when things might switch.

His grasp on the fashion world is impressive and his appearances are many so when dealing with a group of fashion people it’s always smart to mention a few places where you may have seen him, or better yet, were seen with him. The very tall Miss. J is usually spotted at charity events and runway shows. He’s a fixture at parties for Designers for Darfur and can usually be seen at shows for New York designers like Marc Jacobs and Zac Posen. No fashion person in their right mind would ever think you were invited to either of the designers show so consider charity as your best alternative. It will not only make you seem “cool” for working on a cause with Miss J, it will also show that you care about something, a quality that most fashion people like to think they possess.

Of course if all else fails you can always steer the conversation to a recent episode of Top Model and comment on how ridiculous Miss J’s hair/outfit/shoes/face looked.The love for runway coaches of a certain sex and color does not end with Miss J. There is a long list of gay black runway coaches who have helped thousands of models (and model wannabes) walk confidently down the catwalk. Be aware of this fact if you are ever invited to a fashion show.

Don’t be surprised when one of these diligent walkers of the fashion world push you aside to show a slouching model the proper step, step, t-stop, pose and turn routine she needs to show how “fierce” she is on the runway. Remember “fierce” is a fashionistas favorite word for describing a models walk. You must always praise the girls who look like their ready to pounce on any living thing at the end of the catwalk. Of course this may only be for reality show “models” since industry girls are rarely described as “fierce”. Starved, emaciated and pale are more common adjectives.

Cee Cee : The Miss J killer from the UK

You can always 1-up fashion people on your knowledge of black gay model walkers by mentioning ones they may not be aware off. Additional notable runway walkers include Cee Cee, a young and up-coming runway coach from the UK, and Douglas Sez, a designer/make-up artist/runway coach who’s made a name for himself by handling events for Wilhelmina models.

This tip just came in courtesy of France, apparently they also have a black gay runway coach, Vincent McDoom, who is also part of the French version of Top Model. How many of these guys are there?

I’m Offended, Are You?

Stuff White People Like is a hilarious site about … stuff white people like! Everyone and their Caucasian mother is getting up in arms about the site cause a couple folks feel its “racist”. I’m not sure that’s the right word for it, cause nothing in the writing suggests any anger towards our fair skinned brothers, just common (often obscure) stereotypes written as if from the perspective of a documentary writer. Kind of like what Jacque Custo would say if he was observing them in the wild.

Regardless, it’s funny and needs to be made into a book, a movie, and a TV show. If Dave Chapelle can be praised for his commentary on black stereotypes, why not this dude, right?

Anyways, I have read through just about every post and I am down right addicted. Inspired by this genius and undoubtingly buzz worth site, I’m introducing “Stuff Fashion People Like” (yeah, I don’t like coming up with my own ideas, stealing is so much easier). The series of posts will cover different subjects in fashion, but at the end you’ll get some grit on the nasty little career world we call home. I can’t promise it will be as funny as the original, but it will be entertaining. Expect Anna Wintour, V Magazine, and Wearing Layers to hit the list soon.

If you have any feed back on “Stuff Fashion People Like” please add them as comments here.