Edited by Amanda Gabriele on
There was this horrible trend circulating the junior highs when I was 12 or 13, and the though of it still gives me the flu. It started with one of those horrendous tan shirts; you know the ones with bell sleeves and about 600 strings hanging from it? The color tan was carried to the pants, usually in a suede string lacing up the fly. Not only is this foul design detail unpleasant to the eye, but it doesn’t serve a purpose either. I would see girls walking around the mall tying and retying their pants together every five minutes. For the grand finale, boots of the same color were added to the feet. These were usually suede or leather with a cheap rubber platform sole and had strings dangling from them somewhere. The whole shebang just reeks of a hippie that smokes crack instead of herb. Add some white lip-gloss and bad highlights and voila! Instant army of skanks.
I stole my first pair of platforms from the Spice Bus in 1997 when Anglophilia was all the rage. Collector of vintage bags, vinyl and kitchen appliances. My dream of becoming a butcher is momentarily on hiatus so I can teach you how to wear muumuus and apply false eyelashes. Follow me on Twitter @CrystlMeatballs.