Riding the Metro

The Metro is the best carry along accessory for this coming season. He comes in every size, shade, and lifestyle and can be found at the trendiest watering holes near you. Over the past few years, these fashionable boy toys have been securing their place in society and confusing the hell out of the red states. Stretching the boundaries of manhood with their daring acts of plucking, trimming and shopping these coordinated gentlemen have created a brand new marketplace filled with everything for the prim and pampered.

WHY YOU NEED ONE: You can always count on a Metro to make you look your best, mainly cause they only associate with women who make them look better. He’ll drag you to the spa when he’s getting his mani and pedi (sometimes even footing the bill in the name of beauty). The metro boy will always have the latest gossip but is still manly enough to spare you any personal dramatic episodes. He makes the most fantastic of dates to events, for both boys and girls, and you can catch him checking you out for the perfect Kodak moment.

WATCH OUT: Bathroom? What bathroom? Once these boys get a hold of it you can waive it goodbye as they will spend about thirty percent of their day in there “getting ready”. Also, forget about being a fashionably lazy nancy girl, these boys don’t care about comfort. Don’t expect to step out in public (with him) in UGG’s, Crocs, or pajama pants… Wait, that might actually be a plus. BRAVO boys!If you are one of the tragic few who haven’t experienced a metro for yourself I suggest you pick one up. Depending on your style and social skills you might even get one for free.