Street Zero: The Bright Parachute Jacket
This is not cool. This never was cool. Even in the 80’s when people were endorsing this look more than the hiv, it wasn’t cool. No it’s not ironic that you wear it, it’s idiotic. You look like some reject from the set of Dazed and Confused. You look like you walked into Liberace’s extra gay clubwear closet, and then stood there, in the closet, you homo.
I know you like to wear this jacket cause everyone wants to take your picture when you do. It’s not cause we all think you’re stylish. It’s cause we think you’re a douche and the truth is we’ve never seen one that’s 5′11 feet tall. It’s quite amazing. Like some miracle of science. Of course, the only woman who would need one that big is Rosey O’Donnell and even she wouldn’t let you near her fly trap wearing that jacket.
So please, stop blinding my eyes with your hipsterness. No one takes you seriously, we all make fun of you behind your back, and yes that was fecal matter that just hit your face. I like to throw poo.
