Giles released this thing into the fashion world this past weekend. It appears to be a black Grimace. For those unfamiliar with the McDonald’s mythology, Grimace was a purple four armed creature known for stealing Happy Meals from starving children and then proceeding to play with their cheap third-world made toys until the parts broke off. He and the Hamburgler then used to make sweet dirty love while juiced up on chunks of 6-month old dead cow and artificially flavored french fries. Later Grimace’s two extra hands (the evil ones) were removed and he began to enjoy a relationship with ringleader Ronald. Of course, one of his hands were the source of his intellegence and we quickly became a rather idiotic character who would often be the starting point of drama in Ronald McDonald Land. Anyway, yeah, this thing looks like a black Grimace, which means it looks really, really stupid. It also kind of looks like a penis if you squint a little bit. Either way, it’s pretty dumb.
Futurist, Husband, Lover of Small Animals. I'm the quintessential jaded New Yorker with a mind for all things fashion. My articles are the type you'd expect from the popular girl at school; mean spirited and ready to pour some pigs blood on your homemade prom dress.
