Edited by Amanda Gabriele on
There are two things I don’t want to see on my walk to work after a night of partying: a.) tequila and b.) Vera Bradley bags. But I think B has the power to make me sicker than A. I’m not sure where the craze of carrying quilts as handbags originated, but I know the MidWest is the sole place I’ve seen it this year. I notice them sitting on the bar, propped on the seat next to me in class and in the mall used as diaper bags. I would feel better carrying bottles and baby wipes in a colostomy bag to avoid toting that quilted monstrosity. To make matters worse, the cost of these “purses” range from $50 for a tote to $130 for a garment bag. I could make something more attractive for a lot less by picking textile scraps off the floor at JoAnn Fabrics. Talk about a crazy bag lady.
I stole my first pair of platforms from the Spice Bus in 1997 when Anglophilia was all the rage. Collector of vintage bags, vinyl and kitchen appliances. My dream of becoming a butcher is momentarily on hiatus so I can teach you how to wear muumuus and apply false eyelashes. Follow me on Twitter @CrystlMeatballs.