How To Look Trailer: Wear Cowboy Hats

I like college. It’s the period of time you can get inebriated, act like a complete asshole in public and no one can say anything about it. You meet cool people and learn all kinds of personality traits about yourself you had no idea existed. Unfortunately, it comes prepackaged with some douche bags that must be tolerated on a daily basis. On my morning Midwestern stroll to campus, I am forced to walk down a street with about 400 fraternities on it. During the day, I will see the usual puke and piss stained furniture sitting on the lawn surrounded by empty cans of Keystone. This does not offend me by any means. But come dusk, I see these boys drinking out on the lawn, hollering at freshman and wearing ridiculous accessories like cowboy hats. Cowboy hats should never be worn in public unless: a.) you wrestle bulls at the rodeo, b.) your occupation is a ranch hand, or c.) you work at Dixie Stampede (which still sucks). Wrestling underage girls in the basement of your house doesn’t count, so please, burn these hats along with your smelly furniture. I believe the above photo says it all.