I’m Over It: Bedazzlers

There is nothing more annoying than coming home from work and discovering that someone or something has ruined your stuff. The dog ripped your leather bag to shreds, the cat tore the couch cushions apart or water leaked into your closet and ruined five pairs of your shoes (yes, this happened to me two weeks ago). Some of these incidents cannot be avoided due to animal instinct or old apartment buildings. But in certain situations, a bit of careful thought goes a long way to prevent the after-work-oh-fuck mishap. I’m sure you’ve all heard of the Bedazzler. Referred to as “the hottest craft item in America” on MyBedazzler.com, this thing can do some serious damage. I would know because I had one, and I used it without mercy. Anything left out in the war zone was free game for mass destruction- canvas shoes, leather jackets, stuffed animals, silk ties and even dirty socks. I had a denim hat that was so Bedazzled, it weighed 7 pounds and gave me migraines. Luckily, this phase wore off and my family’s possessions are finally safe. But I see grown women, men and campus students who are going though the same horrors and turmoil my kin once experienced. Their shining beacons of studded denim jackets, handbags and hats stands as a warning for everyone who owns or knows some one who owns this crafty little tyrant: IT’S TIME TO DITCH THE BEDAZZLERS!