Edited by Amanda Gabriele on
Headache. Blurred vision. Nausea. These are all symptoms of whiplash, an injury caused by a severe jerk to the head. This impairment is typically caused by car accidents, roller coasters and intense inebriation. But haircuts have been the unusual and recent cause of whiplash, so people must be educated on its dangerousness. When your bangs are so long you have to whip your head around in a violent fashion to remove them from your line of vision, it’s time for a haircut. I’m not saying I don’t like long hair and “man bangs” because I actually adore the styles, but being fashionable doesn’t have to come with a side of painkillers. Sometimes you have to accept you have a smaller forehead than your friends and lose a few inches. But seriously kids, the time has come to remove the veil and take a look at the big scary world. Just get a nice little trim and save yourself from an unnecessary hospital bill.
I stole my first pair of platforms from the Spice Bus in 1997 when Anglophilia was all the rage. Collector of vintage bags, vinyl and kitchen appliances. My dream of becoming a butcher is momentarily on hiatus so I can teach you how to wear muumuus and apply false eyelashes. Follow me on Twitter @CrystlMeatballs.