BASH: Daniel Saynt on The Met Costume Gala

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DISCLAIMER: I am not a nice person. When I don’t get invited to parties I get seriously pissed to the point where I begin to thoroughly bash those who did go. It’s a sickness, but I enjoy the symptoms. Here are the celebrities that went and what I have to say about them. Don’t read ahead if you’re  a pussy who loves everything. You make me sick. Grow a pair and get the fuck off my post.

Hugs and Disses,

Daniel Saynt

Considering all her recent topless, beer belly shots its amazing that Kate Moss was able to vomit up enough cocaine boogers to squeeze into this gold thingy. Seriously though, have you seen her naked lately, it’s like she went from model to mom. I hate to say I miss Pete Doherty, but at least he kept the girl thin.

Sidenote to Marc. Dating a hot Brazilian hombre does not make you a hot Brazilian hombre by association. One more shade of brown and you’ll just about burn the jew out of you and well officially start calling you Valentino Jr.

I only enjoy looking at Anna Wintour when she’s standing next to her hot step-daughter Bee. This editor seriously needs to consider a new look cause she’s getting grannylicious on us. You were the shit in 2007, now you’re just shit. Get something done immediately cause your magazine is just bleeding ink right now and there’s nothing exciting about it. Just a thought from one editor to another.

P.S. Can we get more tits in American Vogue? Paris Vogue is getting way to expensive on the monthly.

Dear Jessica Biel,

Justin looks like a total douche. Please call me.917-450-5238.

Hugs and Disses,

Daniel Saynt

Wait, was this year’s theme “Bridge and Tunnel” or “Jersey”? It’s so hard to tell.

In Malowi wearing Playboy bunny ears above the age of 30 is equivalent to assassinating the president. Just thought you should know.

WARNING: Getting slapped around by your man will turn you butch. Spread the word.

HOLY FUCK, Fran Dresher still gets invited to SHIT!!!

KKK robes are SOOO much more stylish nowadays.

Brillo Pad + Sheet Metal + Helena Bonhan Carter  =  Mary-Kate Olsen

HOLY FUCK, Kirsten Dunst still gets invited to SHIT!!!

Last week I was walking my dog Foxy and she spit from her ass a giant, steaming pile of what Tyra Banks has on her head.

Ivanka Tafetta Trump.

Andre Leon Tally looks like he’s part of some super secret society like The Skulls or that one from Eyes Wide Shut Gossip Girl expect instead of accepting members based on their status and cool, they only accept fat asses who wear muumuu’s to cover up their jelly rolls.

SIDENOTE: How many desperate gay interns to you think fit under that thing?

Nothing says “NOTICE ME” better than wearing a wedding dress to the gala.

Great job Elizabeth Hurley on not seeming at all desperate.

SIDENOTE: How many desperate pr interns do you think fit under that thing?

Straw hat and drawstring dress pants?!? Yup, the theme was definitely “Jersey”.

SIDENOTE: How many of Seals babies do you think fit under that thing?

LINKAGE: Met Costume Gala: Highlights [Photo Gallery]