A Mothers Day Gift Guide for Your Gay Dad
May 02, 2011 - by Lester Brathwaite
Sometimes a boy falls in love with another boy and they start dating. Then, if avoiding the usual pitfalls of gay romance such as open relationships, meth addiction, and generally being a human male they may travel to one of the five states where theyre allowed to legally recognize their union and/or travel to an African or Eastern Asian nation for their pick of needy orphans. Other options include paying their way through the American adoption system or finding a willing lesbian with a free uterus, but no matter the method of conception, eventually there is a baby and it is showered with love and attention from various uncles and aunts of varying gender identities. And that baby will, if avoiding the usual pitfalls of adolescence such as puberty, meth addiction and generally being a human teenager they may turn out to be well-adjusted member of society. So after all that work and all that love and all those years bringing you up with a full knowledge of the Liza Minnelli canon, shouldnt you show your appreciation with the best gifts possible for your gay dad(s) this Mothers Day?
- First season DVDs of Glee and How I Met Your Mother. Glee s Rachel Berry is the perfect example of what can go wonderfully right and horribly wrong with the child of two gay dads, while fellow real-life gay dad Neil Patrick Harris became Americas Sweetheart again thanks to How I Met Your Mother, or as I like to refer to it, The Only Reasonably Watchable Show on CBS.
- Origins Anti-aging serum. If theres one thing gay dad needs is the reassurance that though he may be getting old, hes still looks better than the other moms on the PTA. Sure, without the stress of childbirth hes already ahead of the game, but why not put off the Botox trains imminent arrival with Origins Plantscription Anti-aging serum. It's clinically proven to help fight and reverse advanced visible aging signs...the gift that keeps on (subtly) hinting.
- Patti Lupone: A Memoir. Every gay dad needs to be in touch with his inner diva; its like his animal spirit, the guiding light of the days of the one life he has to live. And Patti Lupone can get anyone in painfully close contact with their inner diva. Her autobiography is basically one artistic triumph followed by one hysteric diva meltdown followed by one near-career-ending fall lather, rinse, repeat. Give dad the drama he craves this Mothers Day, or hell happily provide his own.
- Duckie Brown classic plaid shorts. Nothing says Happy Mother's Day like good ole men's tailoring. Ladies, am I right? Okay, maybe that's not necessarily true, but gay dads are not traditionally honored on Mother's Day, so why not give them something equally non-traditional? Duckie Brown adds more than a fair share of sass and slouch to men's clothing and though my first instinct draws me to these drop-crotch pants, for gay dad a pair of fun, fashionable shorts that can take him from the grill to the bath house and back again seems a tad more appropriate.
- Tickets to Priscilla, Queen of the Desert on Broadway. With reviews like this: "Every conceivable surface has been decked with sequins, spattered with colored lights, plastered in mirrored chips or trimmed in feathers and fringe," how could anyone resist? A feel-good musical about the original mothers of the world -- drag queens -- in a series of outlandish costumes and a disco ball's worth of dance-pop hits, a trip to Priscilla will give gay dad a Mother's Day he won't likely forget...particularly with the number of buff, nearly naked go-go boys traipsing about. You gotta give daddy what he wants.