Born This Way: The Gaga Creation Myth

"This is the manifesto of Mother Monster. On GOAT, a Government Owned Alien Territory in space, a birth of magnificent and magical proportions took place.

"But the birth was not finite. It was in finite. As the wombs numbered and the mitosis of the future began, it was perceived that this infamous moment in life is not temporal. It is eternal. And thus began the beginning of a new race.

"A race within the race of humanity. A race which bears no prejudice, no judgment, but boundless freedom. But on that same day as the eternal mother hovered in the multiverse, another, more terrifying birth took place: the birth of evil.

"And as she herself split into two, rotating in agony over two ultimate forces, the pendulum of choice began its dance. It seems easy, you imagine, to gravitate instantly and unwaveringly to good, but she wondered, 'How can I protect something so perfect without evil?'"

Cue dance break . Lady Gaga's "Born This Way" manages to trump the epic "Bad Romance" for grandeur and opulence and why shouldn't it?: this is her "Thriller."

From the cinematic opening, random voiceover, elaborate dance sequence (a prerequisite in any bombastic pop video), thick ghoulish make-up and the freeze frame zombie smirk at the end, this is Gaga's homage to her little Monsters and to the King of the Monsters, Michael Jackson. The Lady even strolls out, illuminating the sidewalk à la "Billie Jean."

The first two minutes are dedicated to the creation myth, a Technicolor mash-up of Hinduism, Lisa Frank and science fiction geekery. Gags is Mom, giving infinite birth to her Monsters, creating a Utopian society. But Good cannot exist without Evil and to protect her Paradise, Mother Monster births Evil, that hottie with the face tattoo business, by splitting herself in two (I'm guessing).

Then the little Monsters rejoice, celebrating their innate freakishness until Mother Monster takes off on her spirit animal. A unicorn. Encased within a pink triangle.

I mean, if you weren't gay before watching this video, you will be afterwards.

Ms. Germanotta has returned in top form, both physically (her body is disgusting, in a good way) and artistically. The song is what it is, a cheap, funny dance-pop song with anthemic aspirations, but as usual, the video elevates the music into something far more potent and memorable. This is why Lady Gaga is amazing; she's more than a pop star, she's a revolution.

Check out the video below and some of the beautiful imagery in the stills gallery below. Nicola Formichetti's fingerprints are all over the place.

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