Coming Signs of the Apocalypse: Snooki Wants to Be a Designer
Oct 08, 2010 - by Lester Brathwaite
The reason for the continued downfall of Western civilization, and also my favorite thing to come out of upstate New York since the Buffalo wing, Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi wants to be a "clothing designer, hair designer."
A few things:
A. Isn't a hair designer called something else? Like a hairstylist or a hairdresser?
B. Doesn't Snooki already have a clothing line, called "Armani Exchange" and/or "Juicy Couture"?
And C. When and where can I buy what will no doubt be the cheapest and tackiest shit to hit the runway since...Armani Exchange and/or Juicy Couture?
Snooki has her mind on the future, y'all! At least we know where her alleged mind is, for once. But what could have brought about this change in our little girl?
Has it finally dawned on the partygirl's partygirl that her fifteen minutes are going into severe overtime? Whatever it is, Snooki's got the eye of the tiger. Outside of her sartorial ambitions, she plans on getting "married by 26, 27" and having "like, you know, four guido/guidette babies."
That is, of course after she finds her one, true gorilla juicehead Prince Charming. Best of luck, Snickers! You've had more than your share already, but honestly (Ronny), I love a happy ending. I hope one day Snooki's prince will come, slip on a glass bunny slipper and knock her up with his guido seed.