Happy 25th Birthday, Lady Gaga!

Mar 28, 2011 - by Lester Brathwaite

25 years ago today, Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta crawled out of her mother's ladybits -- one tranny heel at a time -- looked around her, saw that there was a dearth of pantless, post-ironic, post-sexual, pre-op pop divas and endeavored to claim the throne.

Pulling the legendary Disco Stick from the sacred Madonna Stone, Stef climbed her way through the bowels of Lower East Side Hell, vanquishing the lesser popstarlets who dared stand, sing off-key and badly dance in her way.

Along the way she befriended the trickster, Nicola Formichetti, the genie, Alexander McQueen and she even managed to soften the heart of Anna Wintour, the much-feared Ice Queen of Vogue. And when times looked bleak and impossible, she simply used her telephone hair piece to call in the aid of Beyoncé, the Good Queen of Fierce.

Newly crowned Lady Gaga, she rules over the millions of Little Monsters around the world. Today we raise our paws to celebrate a quarter century of Gaga; for inside Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta, was always the spirit of Gaga, dwelling in patience for her time to come...or for Akon to sign her.

Now everyone, JUST DANCE!

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