Jeffrey Campell. You are tricky and elusive, everywhere and nowhere. And you make some fly freaking shoes that I can actually afford. For that, I thank thee. More importantly, I thank thee for these whittled platforms. Though they are sold out on I Don't Like Mondays, I vow to find a way to make these mine. You call them the "Ivory Suede Skate Boot", I call them an architectural triumph. They also remind me of mini rocking horses of yesteryear, ornate coat hooks, and actually now that you mention it, Johnny Weir. For just $223 and further retail research, this pair of wooden masterpieces will be on my whittle feetsies any day now. In unrelated news, my birthday is coming up soon....