As part of our "Art, Architecutre and Design" month, we at FashionIndie want to keep you culturally stimulated. But what good is cultural stimulation if you're wardrobe leaves you limp? So combining the best of both worlds, here's a handy dandy's guide to some interesting exhibits opening around the city and what to wear to them.

 

 

For the Pretentious Art Snob:  You've been there, done that, own everything and everyone so even the most avant garde installations leave you bored. But that doesn't mean you have anything else to do.

Going to: "Conceptual artist Carlito Carvalhosa has somehow invented a way for us to experience yesterday today through a soft, white translucent wormhole called Sum of Days. This sound installation by the Brazilian artist (his first exhibition in the U.S.) features microphones hanging from various heights inside a floor-to-ceiling elliptical cocoon."

 

 

For the Baroque Boozer: Art be damned, mom's dry and needs a cocktail! You couldn't care less about the value of an artist's work, but you certainly can't argue with the price of a free glass of wine. Or eight.

Going to: "In celebration of their 20th anniversary, legendary band Medeski Martin & Wood will be in residence at the Whitney Museum of American Art on Friday nights in August as part of the Whitney Live performance series. Joined by guest artists each night, the performances will encompass older works and newer projects including several MMW side projects and a re-mounting of the acclaimed Turntable Sessions."

 

 

For the Renaissance Fairy: Michelangelo, Leonardo, Donatello and Raphael. Besides being Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, they were also all Renaissance fags. And in kinship you can't get enough of those swarthy Italians and their love of the male form. Though at least they could pass it off as art whereas you're probably just a perv.

Portrait of a Young Man, Sandro Botticcelli

Going to: The Renaissance Portrait from Donatello to Bellini -- "It has been said that the Renaissance witnessed the rediscovery of the individual. In keeping with this notion, early Renaissance Italy also hosted the first great age of portraiture in Europe. Portraiture assumed a new importance, whether it was to record the features of a family member for future generations, celebrate a prince or warrior, extol the beauty of a woman, or make possible the exchange of a likeness among friends. This exhibition will bring together approximately 160 worksby artists including Donatello, Filippo Lippi, Botticelli, Verrocchio, Ghirlandaio, Pisanello, Mantegna, Giovanni Bellini, and Antonello da Messina."

 

For the Monet Ho-net: "She's a full on Monet...It's like a painting, see? From far away, it's OK, but up close, it's a big old mess." -- Cher And being the big ole mess you are, you may love art, but you love skanking it up whenever you get a chance even more. But just because you're a tramp doesn't mean you're not a lady.

Lis Bionidi

Going to: The Role of Women in Photography: Are We There Yet? "An independent curator and former visuals editor at The New Yorker, Elisabeth Biondi moderates a panel on the role of women in photography. Panelists include photography critic Vince Aletti, curator and writer Lyle Rexer and photographers Martine Fougeron, Lisa Kereszi and Sarah Silver."

 

For the Post-Modern, Post-"Over It" Poseur: Yeah, of course you've heard of that artist, he's really awesome. No, of course you meant he's a total tool. Yeah, you totally knew him back when, he stole coke from you. But you're going to his show later just to show him that you don't give a fuck. About. Anything.

Going to: "Raw/Cooked presents a year-long series of five exhibitions by under-the-radar Brooklyn artists. Thousands of artists are creating work in Brooklyn every day, affirming the borough as one of the world's creative capitals. To recognize emerging Brooklyn artists and provide a showcase for their work, the Brooklyn Museum, with support from Bloomberg, invited five artists to present their first major museum exhibitions. The artists were given the opportunity to work with the Museums collection and to present in spaces of their choosing, however unconventional."