The real-world equivalent of Scrooge McDuck, Sir Richard Branson -- can't you just picture him diving into a vault of gold coins? -- has served eco-friendly label I Am Not a Virgin  with a cease and desist order over fears that people will get it confused with his own megabrand, Virgin. 

Founded by a Mr. Peter Heron in 2009, the New York-based I Am Not a Virgin uses virgin cotton and recycled materials ranging from plastic bottles to discarded X-ray film in its line of jeans and T-shirts. Heron insists that he's had the name trademarked since the brand's inception. however on the eve of its launch, he was contacted by Virgin's lawyers with the cease and desist order.

"What the lawyers are saying," Heron told the Telegraph, "is if a consumer walks past a store window and sees I Am Not A Virgin jeans, they wouldn't be able to decipher between I Am Not A Virgin and Virgin. We don't believe this to be true."

For its part, Virgin "respectfully maintains its position that confusion and dilution are likely," though the lawyers did have the forethought to suggest changing the name to I Am Not Pure or I Am Not Chaste, to which Heron responded -- tongue firmly in cheek -- "I guess I could rename my jeans Not Made By Richard Branson."

Meanwhile, what does it say about our society that you can't even declare how much of a wanton slut you are without some wacky billionaire going all Gucci on your ass? [Telegraph]