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Life, Love and Laundry: The Situation's Guide to Everything

Oct 26, 2010 - by Lester Brathwaite

Mike "The Situtation" Sorrentino can write. And he wrote a book. And he can write. I'm still on that first bit of information, but if you need any help getting it in with some hot guidettes, keep reading.

The Situation, if anything, is well-versed in the art of genade jumping and he extols the virtues of that double-bagged (one for her head, one for yours) vixen:

"The best sex is often with a grenade -- because she's so grateful."

Yes, grateful like the dogs they are. Mike always makes sure to pet the grenade and give the grenade a treat after smoosh smoosh. A treat that she won't be able to get rid of for 3-6 months.

Although he is a man's man (no homo), he is not afraid to get in touch with his feminine side:

"Chicks do dig guys with shaved legs . . . maybe they're into the Michael Phelps look."

I think I'd like a spa day with The Situation. just he and I, getting our legs shaved, our bikini zones waxed (I like the Gisele), our hairs did, a mani-ped, all while dishing over cosmos and bellinis about all the hot chicks we're going to bang later that night.

And to prove he's someone you wouldn't mind taking home to your mother, The Situation even has a nightly prayer:

"God grant me the stamina to satisfy hot chicks, the courage to deny grenades, and the wisdom to know the difference."

That's similar to my nightly prayer:

"Dear Gaga, please grant me the stamina to survive another season of The Jersey Shore, the courage to pull off a Snooki bump and the wisdom to avoid any of their endorsed clothing lines."

A. Men.

LINK LOVE: Page Six

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