Janis Joplin and I could have been purse buddies. Oprah makes people do the strangest things. Lindsay Kleptohan? And Eau No de Gaga.

- Items found in Janis Joplin's handbag: an antique cigarette holder, several motel and hotel room keys, a box of Kleenex, a compact, a bottle of Southern Comfort (empty), a hip flask, gum, sunglasses, credit cards, aspirin, assorted pens and writing pad and a corkscrew. I assume the hip flask was full of SoCo. At least mine is. [The Hairpin]

- Shit is getting UGLY in the Halle Berry/Gabriel Aubry custody battle. Apart from calling her a "fucking bitch," the Aussie allegedly (his daughter is part black after all) called her the "N" word. I hope she (finally) put that Oscar to good use and threw it at his gorgeous head. [TMZ]

- Jennifer Aniston confronted professional douchebag Perez Hilton about his cruelty to her. I'd like to confront Jennifer Aniston over her current injustice performed upon me. [Huff Po]

- Sassy black lady, my favorite kind of lady, Jazz Ison Sinkfield has been growing her nails for the past 22 years in an effort to meet Oprah Winfrey. I guess that beats my strategy of slowly growing into Gayle King. [Styleist]

- Speaking of becoming a woman, GLAAD is all in a gay huff over an SNL skit they deem to be "dangerous and blatantly anti-tansgender." Hey, GLAAD, why don't you untuck for a second and realize it's just comedy. Sheesh. [Jezebel]

- Lindsay Lohan is under investigation for filching a $2500 necklace from a Venice, CA store on Jan. 22. I hope she threw in a fur and some diamonds as well because $2500 is not worth going to jail for. [People]

- Sartorial star Anne Hathaway had a rare misstep at the premiere of her latest film. And that step landed her in some truly hideous culottes. [Gawker]

- "Oh my god, did someone just jizz on you while you were on your period?"/ "No, silly, I'm just wearing the new Lady Gaga fragrance. And yes." [Musings of a Muse]

- Jean Paul Gaultier will have his first museum retrospective in June. Make sure to watch your eyes around those cone bras. [NY Mag]