Coincidence? I think not. While religious nut-jobs continue to desperately hope for the end of the world, superstars of film, music and television gathered to celebrate something that actually matters. OOOOPRAAAAAAAAH!

Everyone and their post-partum depressed mother hovered on down to Chicago's United Center for the filming of Surprise Oprah! A Farewell Spectacular -- her two penultimate shows before the Apocalypse finale May 25th.

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Tom Hanks, noted maniac Tom Cruise, noted maniac Madonna, Dakota Fanning, Halle Berry, noted coma victim Katie Holmes, scissor sisters Queen Latifah and Rosie O'Donnell, the Pinkett-Smiths and BFFs Gayle King and Maria Shriver -- who had a brave face put on for her last minute as her husband had just admitted that in addition to iron he was pumping the help -- all showed up to "surprise" and pay tribute to their queen.

Sidebar: Oprah is omniscient, like all deities, so there was no pulling the wool over those bag-ridden eyes.

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Surprise performers included Beyoncé (who had to perform "Run the World (Girls)" twice at the behest of producers), Patti LaBelle and Josh Groban ("Over the Rainbow"), Stevie Wonder and Jamie Foxx ("Isn't She Lovely," and Stevie even wrote a new song for Oprah that will no doubt be adopted as our national anthem), as well as Kristin Chenoweth, Alicia Keys, Usher and another queen in her own right, Aretha Franklin, who took everyone to church with "Amazing Grace."

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Someone even let Stedman out of his cage to make a little speech!

And of course what tribute to Oprah would be complete without national treasure and global renaissance woman Dr. Maya Angelou? The 83-year-old offered up a poem to honor O. Luckily a box of tissues was on hand for each audience member, tucked knowingly under their seats.

Oprah clearly doesn't fuck around and considering these were her second and third-to-last shows, I can only imagine what the final episode will  be: disaster.

Link Love:Us Weekly / Photos: Socialite Life