Hi Botox, are you there? It's me, Irony. According to British cosmetic specialist, Dr. Darren McKeown, there is no proof that Botox works as a preventative against wrinkles and that "long-term overuse" can lead to the face appearing "inadvertently aged."

Photo: Daily Mail

The good doctor warns that Bo-Bo is only licensed for the treatment of moderate to severe haggardness and should not be used in adolescents who, for the record, don't even have wrinkles but facial expressions and, also for the record, "the two are not the same."

See expressions lead to wrinkles, which is why the real key to anti-aging is being emotionally dead inside.

Doc McKeown points to the recent Faux-Tox scandal (totes ©ing that) starring Sheena Upton as Kerry Campbell, the negligent mother who doses her 8-year-old daughter with Botox to keep her smooth as the day she was born -- which in this case was not too long ago -- as a case of society's unhealthy relationship with the needle.

While Campbell née Upton was only doing it all for the publicity (See! I'm a good mom, give me my kid back!), McKeown likens the drug to a status symbol for the younger generation -- just look at the not-at-all disturbing Teen-Toxing craze.

Bling, Benzes, Birkins and Botox.

But beauty, the doctor insists, is like a fine wine that gets better with age...and he is about to pop a cork over Liz Taylor in her mid-30s:

"While Taylor was clearly always a beautiful woman from her teens onwards, arguably her looks did not reach their peak until she was in her mid-thirties. Had Botox been available to Taylor in her early twenties, would she have ever reached that same level of mature beauty for which she will now always be remembered? I suspect probably not."

Meanwhile, someone give Dr. Darren McKeown a box of tissues, a copy of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? and close the doors. [The Telegraph]