Roberto Cavalli collaborating with Amy Winehouse? No, no, no

All right, that’s it: the world has officially gone mad. Not only is there a First Lady in the Elysée Palace who once appeared in a John Galliano show wearing false eyebrows, but sales of home-perm lotions are said to be soaring. Frankly, I’m sceptical about this last announcement, and not just because it emanated from a source not a million miles away from a company that does PR for home-perming kits, but because the nation’s three standard-bearers of haute fashion (Posh, Moss and Cheryl Cole) have so far resisted the Deirdre-from-Coronation-Street-frizz-fright trend. There’s always time, I suppose.

This is nursery-slope insanity, however, compared with recent speculation that Roberto Cavalli is about to loop Amy Winehouse into some kind of financial love-in. Nothing has been signed, you understand, but Cavalli’s spokesperson confirms that he “adores” the singer and that they have been in talks. Even more amazingly, Winehouse’s agent says this isn’t the first time that she has been approached by a fashion company. Admittedly, this is the sort of thing that agents are genetically predisposed to say, even when they are representing someone with the fashion savvy of Jimmy Tarbuck. But judging from the number of press releases we receive on the Times fashion desk, helpfully informing us that Winehouse has been carting her bits and bobs around in such-and-such a bag – with its, ahem, useful expandable compartments – or cushioning her long-suffering toes in so-and-so’s shoes – with handy wipe-down, patent finish – there are plenty of brands keen to cash in on what might charitably be called catastrophe chic. Somehow the fashion industry has got it into its head that what’s really missing from every stylish woman’s life is an accessory that will make her look like someone whose next must-have is an intravenous drip.

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