Edited by Amanda Gabriele on
After years of seeing Jessica Simpson’s annoying face covering the tabloids and bobbing around on television, I’ve come to two conclusions- she is a mediocre singer and a terrible actress. Thank you Vanity Fair for giving me another for the list. Jessica Simpson is a dreadful model. What the hell is her face doing in this photo? Instead of looking elegant and poised, I get the impression she has really bad cramps. Simpson is a southern belle pageant princess; trying to make her look like a classic, old Hollywood starlet is just making me want to vomit. You can’t fool me either. I can see through those many layers of Photoshop work. I know times are hard, but is Jessica Simpson the best Vanity Fair could do for the cover?
GALLERY: Jessica Simpson in Vanity Fair
LINKAGE: Dlisted
I stole my first pair of platforms from the Spice Bus in 1997 when Anglophilia was all the rage. Collector of vintage bags, vinyl and kitchen appliances. My dream of becoming a butcher is momentarily on hiatus so I can teach you how to wear muumuus and apply false eyelashes. Follow me on Twitter @CrystlMeatballs.