Stuff Fashion People Like #20 Calling Designers by Their First Names As If They’re Friends or Something

“Me and Marc go way back. We used to be in band camp together.”

“Karl stopped by the other day and was so pissed that i-D blasted his collection.”

“I told Vera, I’d love for her to design my wedding dress, but I’d really prefer it if Roberto did it.”

Claim Jeremy as a friend and Kanye and Cory Kennedy get included for free 

As long as there have been fashion designers, there have been delusion nobodies that seem to think they know them.  Fashion people will insist without injury that they are related, best friends, or somehow connected to the top tier of who’s who designers. Marc Jacobs becomes Marc, their favorite drinking buddy, Tom Ford becomes Uncle Tom, their babies Godfather and Georgio Armani becomes George, their midnight confidant.

The reason why?  Cause after watching The Devil Wears Prada, one too many times, and hitting season after season of runway shows, fashion people become delusional, referring to designers they have never actually met as one name friendlies by which they “believe” they spend all their free time with.  Of course, the only course of action to combat such behavior is to embark on it yourself. When a fashion person randomly mentions a designer in a personal manner, just look them straight an the eye and say “You know [[insert designers first name here]]. We go way back, I was his intern/lover/dealer back in the day.  Do you have his number, I’d love to give him a call.”At this point the fashion person will take two possible courses of action.

99.9% of the time the person will begin to stutter and backtrack and admit that they don’t know the designer personally. Ignore these people at all costs as they are the plague of the fashion world.

Of course the other .1% of fashion people will get defensive and overly protective of the information you requested. If this is the case, you might actually be talking with someone who knows a famous designer.  Befriend them quickly, cause you never know when the call may come in to head to an all night kegger at said designers party.  Remember, no one parties harder than waif-like models on two hits of Columbia’s finest, no one.

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