Stuff Fashion People Like #2 People Who Wear Uggs

Introduced to the United States in the 70’s by an Australian surfer, Ugg’s (or Ugglies as most fashion people will call them) grew in popularity during the brief Bohemian trend of the early 2000’s when celebrities like the Olsen sisters and Sienna Miller began wearing the sheepskin shoes. Within a few hours fashion people began to embrace the odd looking hoof. Within two days they got over it.

The Uggs refused to go away though, which shocked many fashion people who didn’t seem to understand why the masses weren’t following in their dislike of the shoe. Of course, the shock quickly faded once fashion people realized that there was finally some sort of watermark that could now distinguish the fashionable from the un-fashionable. While most of America began falling in love with the Ugg scene for it’s comfort and “star-appeal”, fashionistas everywhere formed little cliques around their mutual dislike and began routinely trashing anyone who wore Ugglies.

Fashion people could once again show how much better they we’re than anyone else by not wearing the hideous shoes, which they never did (unless it was Halloween and they decided to dress like a “commoner”). Stilettos and other forms of foot torture still reigned in fashion, but Uggs did not.

Remember all this when speaking with fashion people. It is never, ever, under any circumstances, Ok to be in their presence if you are wearing Ugglies. They will look at your face, look at your sheepskin monstrosities, and then look at your face again and within seconds your value will diminish to that of a Forever 21 shopper.

If the subject of Ugglies is brought up, remember that a complete dislike and hatred of the shoe is the only acceptable response to any questions about them. To really drive the point home suggest to them that you would love to see a gestapo set up that will travel to the homes of Ugg wearers and steal their shoes/murder them. An open bonfire of thousands of Uggs/corpses would be attended by all fashion people.

If you do choose to keep a pair for days when you will not be around fashion people, be sure to keep them hiding in your attic. The day may one day come when the Fashion Police are knocking down the doors of you and your neighbors. It’s safer to Anne Frank those things then get caught up with the crowds. Remember, in fashion love and hate are two very interchangeable ideas. Fashion people love to hate so you never know when things might switch.