- “You think gay people love Gaga? You should hear when a Robyn song comes on at a gay bar. Then it is fucking over.” Truer words have never been spoken. I’ve burned down several dancefloors to “Dancing On My Own” and have been practicing my backwards roll for “Call Your Girlfriend.” These and other alleged truths, courtesy of “The Secrets Gay Men Don’t Want Straight People to Know.” [Gawker]

- Fellow Greendale fans, rejoice! Community is returning after all. However, a fourth season is still up in the air. Because god knows we need more Whitney in our lives. [E!]

- Justin Bieber got a tattoo of his lord and savior Jesus Christ on his calf. Shortly after getting inked, the Biebs downed a 40, smashed it on the sidewalk, hopped in his low-rider and got high in the parking lot of a Taco Bell with his other cholo buds. [Huff Po]

- Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, née Kate Middleton may be having an 80s-themed 30th birthday party. Meaning Will can once again bust out his sweet dance moves to the delight of sassy black girls everywhere. [The Cut]

- Absolutely Fabulous finally returns this Sunday on the BBC. Get excited, Sweetie Dahling. [Vogue]

- Brad Goreski and Rachel Zoe still aren’t on great terms it seems, despite Brad’s olive branch to the Baby Skyler. Zoe made it perfectly clear, via a retweet that has since disappeared (so SUPER perfectly clear) that she wants It’s a Brad, Brad World to fall on its bespectacled face. [WWD]

- In addition to all things crotchless, American Apparel is now specializing in vintage scarves, including Yves Saint Laurent, Calvin Klein and Kenzo. [Racked]

- And why not shouldn’t AA class it up a bit? According to CEO/repeat sex offender Dov Charney, American’s getting “its groove back.” thanks to a recent influx of  consumer dollars. [Fashionista]

- Bridesmaids is snatching up trophies and nominations left and right, and while it seem ripe for a sequel, star and writer Kristen Wiig is not interested. But a sequel might happen, nonetheless, focusing on breakout star Melissa McCarthy‘s brash and ballsy character. Two words of advice: Evan Almighty. [NYT]

A label which started this trend would definitely have to be Kenzo. During their Fall 2011 RTW show (aka my future fashion week closet) they sent many plaid and tartan designs down the runway. This trend can certainly go very wrong if not executed correctly. You can either look amazing like Hamish Bowles or look like a confused catholic school boy.

For starters a plaid shirt or accessory such as a necktie or dress sock is a perfect way dip into the shallow end of the trend and see if it’s really for you. You can never go wrong by wearing a really understated outfit and having that one plaid piece that pops.

Keep reading for some essentials on how the look rad while wearing plaid.

ASOS SALON Sheer And Solid Godet Silk Maxi Skirt $112.05 – Sophisticated and angelically gorgeous, this skirt can be dressed up to the max.

American Apparel Shiny Shorts & Shiny Ruched Tube Bra, currently on sale for $25 on eBay…at least it was until I decided I needed it as part of my work wardrobe

In an effort to expand distribution beyond that of its quickly-failing stores, Charney is trying to capitalize on the some 30,000 monthly searches for AA on eBay by selling directly to the inquisitive customer.

Purchases will be made via eBay’s checkout system while AA will handle the shipping and delivery. In return, American will pay eBay a commission on all sales.

This venture is believed to be “part of a larger upcoming eBay platform for dedicated brand stores,” but eBay’s keeping mum on the subject…which means it probably is. American Apparel on the other hand wants you to know they’re not going anywhere.

With talks to open up to four leased spaces in Bloomingdale’s, leased spaces already opening up in three Selfridges across the pond as well as a pending deal to provide apparel to 2500 campus stores nationwide, you’ll have no problem finding your fill of  high-waisted jeans, sheer bodysuits and crotchless what-have-yous. [WWD]

Hamptons- There are two things to think of when dressing for the Hampton: minimal & chic.

Top: Diane Von Furstenberg, $198

Shorts: GAP, $35

Shoes: Aldo, $70

Sunglasses: Prada, $290

Atlantic City-  Some say AC is the East Coast’s version of Las Vegas. That being said, why not wear something a little eye catching.

Dress: A|X, $125

Bag: Rebecca Minkoff, $295

Shoes: GAP, $60

Bracelet, GUESS, $25

Fire Island- This little isle adjacent to Long Island can be the perfect chill out getaway so rock the relaxed look.

Top: American Apparel, $36

Skirt: GAP,  $60

Shoes: Lanvin,  $569

Hat: Forever 21, $13

Tribal prints – Colorful and fun, these cool, statement-making dresses will spruce-up your closet in no time.

Clockwise from top left:
Dorothy Perkins Multi Tribal Print Dress $39, dorothyperkins.com

Billabong Friday Dress $$31.99, tillys.com

dELiA*s One-Shoulder Tribal Dress $29.99, delias.com

Forever 21 Tribal Maxi Dress $24.80, forever21.com

Papaya Tribal Print Beaded Halter Dress $18.99, papayaclothing.com

Forever 21 Self-Tie Tribal Dress $19.90, forever21.com

Forever 21 Strapless Patch Print Dress $19.80, forever21.com

Forever 21 Abstract Drawstring Dress $19.80, forever21.com

dELiA*s Tribal Woven Dress $29.99, delias.com

AX Paris Tribal Print Shift Dress $49, axparis.co.uk

Country chic - Channel the prairie life with a mix of down home and big city style.

Clockwise from top left:
Jane Norman Horse Print Tie Waisted Shirt Dress $37, janenorman.co.uk

Forever 21 Striped Chambray Dress $18.90, forever21.com

Daytrip Flower Power Dress $36, buckle.com

Akira Silk Blend Lace Sleeve Dress $39.90, shopakira.com

dELiA*s Vintage Crochet Dress $39.50, delias.com

ModCloth Homeland Honey Dress $47.99, modcloth.com

WeSC Ika Dress $39.99, swell.com

ModCloth Vase Vortex Dress $47.99, modcloth.com

Maxis - Bring it to the floor with a breezy ankle-length dress. We have one here for every body type and taste.

From left:
Vero Moda Floral Print Maxi Dress $34, houseoffraser.co.uk

Dorothy Perkins Orange Embellished Maxi Dress $46, dorothyperkins.com

Forever 21 Leopard Maxi Dress $24.80, forever21.com

Forever 21 Ikat Maxi Dress $16.50, forever21.com

ModCloth Bicycle Taxi Maxi Dress $49.99, modcloth.com

Old Navy Smocked Gauze Maxi Dress $39.94, oldnavy.gap.com

Mudd Crochet Maxi Dress $29.99, kohls.com

Dressrail Boobtube Colour Block Maxi Dress $25, dressrail.com

Sporty spice - Sleek and easy to move in, these classically casual frocks can be reinvented time and time again.

Clockwise from top left:
Life In Progress™ Pinstriped Dress $24.80, forever21.com

American Apparel Fine Jersey Racerback Tank Dress $32, americanapparel.net

Nordstrom Stem Knit Tank Dress $37.90, nordstrom.com

Forever 21 Draped Tube Dress $16.90, forever21.com

Steve Madden Blushing Ruffle Dress $46.62, zappos.com

American Eagle Pintuck Dress $39.95, ae.com

Go Green M by M Lina Sustainable Vest Top Dress $42, fashion-conscience.com

Aqua Sleeveless Racerback Stripe Maxi Dress $23.52, bloomingdales.com

70s-Inspired – Whether going for the hippie or late mod feel, these vintage-esque dresses will quickly become summer staples.

Clockwise from left:
Peacocks Belted Wrap Dress $33, peacocks.co.uk

Dorothy Perkins Mocha Gypsy Lace Panel Dress $46, dorothyperkins.com

Peacocks 70s Maxi Dress $25, peacocks.co.uk

Vero Moda Fluted Sleeve Low Back 70s Shift $48.27, asos.com

Vintage 1970′s Womens Mod Knit Dress $42, rustyzipper.com

H81 Anita Sleeveless Woven Dress $16.90, forever21.com

Peacocks Chiffon Crop Dress $32, peacocks.co.uk

GoJane Printed Tie-Waist Tank Dress $31.70, gojane.com

Darling denim - Keep this classic look updated with rope belts and colorful accessories.

Clockwise from left:
French Connection Phillipa Dress $39.99, usa.frenchconnection.com

Oasis Skater Dress $25, oasis-stores.com

Thread Sense Sweetheart Button Denim Dress $35, threadsense.com

H&M Flared Denim Dress $21, hm.com

Hurley Wilson YC Denim Dress $44, zappos.com

Peacocks Denim Embroidered Dress $25, peacocks.co.uk

Forever 21 Denim Tube Dress W/ Belt $24.90, forever21.com

Forever 21 Belted Denim Dress $19.80, forever21.com

What are your favorite dresses from this guide? Let us know in the comments.

From a bird’s eye view of the contents of my bag, you’ll see color on top of pattern on top of sheer on top of lamé, and you’ll even see a fanny pack. There are big pieces, little pieces, warm pieces, swimming pieces and a $1 vest. Here lies before us an infinite algorithm of wild wear for an epic journey. Let me break it down for you.

Sack It To Me

This is a time when those rucksacks I was talking about will come in handy. That blue backpack holds everything you see here. For the festival itself, it’s best to be hands free, erego a tiny backpack or fanny pack are key. Also, string your beverage around your body in a traditional Spanish wine gourd for good luck.

CROP IT TOP

Starting on top, I’ve brought a series of bandeaus. The three on the right are swimsuits. The thin striped American Apparel, and the sequined Pat Field ones are not for bathing, though no guarantees. They’re better than a traditional bra because if you take off your top, you’re still wearing enough of a shirt. The shirts are cropped, wide and loose. They flow and are light as air.

High Waist, Zero Waste

With cropped tops and bandeaus, the best partner is a loose high waist. A flowing floral skirt (with pockets!), a short floral flounce, or a long patterned short are resilient to dirt because it becomes one with the pattern. Or go stretch short denim for the daisy inside ya.

Safety Shorts

When you’re carefree frolicking about, cartwheeling in said floral skirts, you’ll only give happy surprises when your bum is not bare, but covered in shine. American Apparel does great things for happy bikers, and Missoni makes a killer covering bikini bottom.

Dress it Up

Though cutout and crazy here, what you see beneath is a floor length paisley halter dress from Shopmamie that has taken me through some wild festival times. That leopard piece is a piece of holed chiffon that wears like a dress – a Salvation Army find. Then Urban Renewed that fabric on the right into a side paneled patterned piece.

In Case of Chill

If the night brings a chill, I’ll bring my brightest. Both relics from my Mom and Grandma.

Get Armed

But what if it’s not cold enough for a whole jacket? Of you think it might get chilly later and you just don’t feel like carrying a whole extra shirt? Well, my friends, you need sleeves. Made by Tilly and William, they fit snug around the tops of your shoulders and hug your arms like leggings. Made of mustard lace, sold at A. Turen, and psychedelic prints, they can be trippy and practical.

Pants of Two Fittings

Leggings with flair (not flare) and floor length gauchos from circa 2004 will suit me well if the night dips into chill.

Mud Friendly Shoes

Your shoes must be strong, and so must your feet. If TOMS are good for children in third world countries, they can certainly survive 4 days at Bonnaroo. The mismatching “Birkenstocks” are actually by a company named Gold Star which I bought in Rome last summer – they are resilient. The middle pair are by Off The Beaten Track, which I bought specifically for festival-going.

What else?

Makeup – make it bold colors on the eyes, sparkles on the nails, and violent lips.

Water bottle – bring your own for free, earth friendly thirst quenching.

Maya Water Facial Mist - this is an absolute must to revive and moisturize tired skin

Phone + Pop phone – Okay, I might not need the whole telephone while galavanting, but I’ll need my blackberry to

TWEET YOU EVERYTHING!

Follow me @JessicaLapidos as I traverse Bonnaroo…. this could get weird. I’m psyched.

Birthday Wishlist, straight from the heart of Social Media Sara:

1. Jeffrey Campbell Brown Distressed Litas – Platform pumps for adventures to run around the city in.

2. Klimt ‘The Kiss‘ Blankbook – Safe keeping mixed abyss of inspiration, notes, poems, sketches… my life in dissolved in pages.

3. Louise Manna Body Chain – Necklace for the whole bod.

4. Lomography Diana + Dreamer Camera – Vintage inspired pics, drool-worthy mint color.

5. Nasty Gal Ink Velvet Turband – Everyone needs at least one good turban, why not make it velvet, mmmm.

6. Topshop Scallop Hem Suede Shorts – Staple for music fest filled summer.

7. BCBG Thalia Deep V-Neck Jumpsuit – More function than a dress, less fuss than pants.

8. Skull Candy brown Aviator Headphones – Never let the beat stop, Fashion Indie Mixtape 3, that is!

9. Karen Millen Tribal Print Clutch – Tiny bag of funk.

10. American Apparel Long Accordion-Pleat Skirt – I could twirl in this for days. [She's got good taste. I own this, too! Yes, twirling is delightful in such a skirt.]

Kind souls, friends of Sara, and intern sympathizers, send all gifts to the FashionIndie office. To inquire about size and/or general birthday merriment tweet @SaraNiezgoda.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

The Hamptons is going to be swarming with the rich and fabulous. It is important that you always look posh and put together even if you’re getting plastered in the middle of the day. I recommend this Ben Minkoff weekender. It’s simple, durable, and can hold a champagne bottle or two. (And yes I know from experience.) One of your essentials should include a Ralph Lauren polo. (The staple of the prep wardrobe) An Orlebar Brown bathing suit is the way to go shorts wise. (Even if you’re not swimming you can wear these as shorts all day and look stylish.) Finally you’ll need a pair of  Sperry boat shoes. (Duh!) Don’t forget to bring a blazer just in case and daddy’s credit card.

The Jersey Shore is always a hot spot during the summer months and Memorial Day weekend is probably one of the craziest times it gets. As a Jersey native I have to say that  people were going to down the shore (As we Jerseyans put it) before Snooki and The Situation took over with a camera crew. That being said a Quiksilver duffle is what you want to pack. It can take a beating and be fulled to over capacity with all your weekend needs. While you’re at the beach or walking on the boardwalk these American Eagle shorts have both fashion and function without calling negative attention to whoever is wearing them. Speaking of the boardwalk you can stroll comfortably down it in these Ugg sandals. Lastly you’ll need something nice to impress at the club and an Armani Exchange dress shirt will do the trick. Just make sure you’re tan and party ready.

Fire Island is a major gay destination on the East Coast if you didn’t know. The island is known for it’s nonstop parties and debauchery. If you go this Rag & Bone bag says “I’m here, I’m queer, & I have taste: Get Used To It!”  I recommend packing light since it seems that many of the people running around are not in that much clothes. That’s why this Baskit trunk is totally appropriate. There are a lot of outdoor activities so go for a pack of American Apparel tanks so you have something light and simple that can transition from day to night. Finally I recommend these GAP flip flops:they’re inexpensive, versatile and perfect for a beach day. Remember to leave your heavy layers and inhibitions behind.

1. Christopher Raeburn: Made from recycled military parachute nylon, this parka (which also allows for a warm winter insert) will protect from the elements.

2. Emma Cook: Not your typical poncho, this one has the capacity to enhance your outfit, rather than covering it horrifically, as so many ponchos do. And it will be good to you during a potentially rainy festival season.

3. Peacocks: A cheapie mac from across the pond, where it rains, all the time. Printed leopard. Rawr.

4. Ann Demeulemeester: Drawstrung up in silver, the lapel alone is worth the wear.

5. Jil Sander: As gray as the day is long, yet as olive as my filthy martini, this coat can make a splash.

6. Topshop: Brings me back to a skirt I had during my middle school Spice Girls days – deep blue and plastic. But what I really really really want is zigazig ahh.

7. ModCloth: Red and rubber with an inner whale.

8. American Apparel: Down with a cinch, up with a hood.

9. Moncler: The dolman cuts it short for warmer weather drizzle.

10. Burberry: Cropped and caped, shrug it dry.

As umbrellas are quite the temporary fixture – lost or broken almost immediately – pick up a cute printed guy at H&M for cheap.

And I continue to stand by a solid flatform in the rain.  Because weather is no excuse for shlump.  In fact, there is no excuse. Stay classy. Stay dry.

Top row, from left:

NARS Nail Polish in Schiap $17, barneys.com

OPI Nail Polish in Do You Lilac It? $6, amazon.com

American Apparel Nail Polish in Neon Green $6, americanapparel.net

Deborah Lippmann Nail Color in Yellow Brick Road $16, barneys.com

Essie Nail Polish in Forget Me Nots $8, Duane Reade & Rite Aid Stores

Bottom row, from left:

Nicole by OPI Nail Lacquer in Prized Possession Purple $7, amazon.com

Hot Topic Nail Polish in Marigold $2.99, hottopic.com

H&M Nail Varnish in U Must Have This $5, hm.com

By Terry Terrybly Nail Lacquer in Electric Vermillion $30, barneys.com

China Glaze Nail Polish in Thataway $4.20, lotionsource.com

What is your favorite nail hue for the coming summer months?

- Apparently something is going down in Syria prompting Vogue to pull its profile of first lady Asma al-Assad from its website. [Styleite]

- Chanel hasn’t thrown a black model down their runway in many a season. Not even Chanel Iman, and you’d think that shit would write itself. [The Cut]

- Queen Elizabeth is still turning heads and more importantly turning it at age 800 — after she wore a Launer London handbag to the Royal Wedding, sales jumped 60%. [Racked]

- Speaking of the Royal Wedding, Princess Beatrice of York‘s fascinator — the hat heard mocked around the world (though it was literally perfection) — is being put up for auction to benefit charity. Sign me up! [Fashionista]

- Dov Charney‘s browser toolbar has a bookmark labeled “good hookers” prompting me to wonder where he keeps the “bad hookers” bookmark. [Gawker]

- Michael Kors, Diane Von Furstenberg and Tory Burch will be on Oprah tomorrow for her very last MAKEOVER SHOOOOOOOOOOOW! EVERYONE! GETS! A WRAP-DREEEEEEEESSSS! [Twitter]

Right to left, from top left:

BeaValdes for CoutureLab “Azzura” Necklace $2,764, couturelab.com

Eugenia Kim Gabriella Feather-Trimmed Fedora $345, net-a-porter

Cacharel Cutler & Gross Circular Lens Sunglasses $525, openingceremony.us

Azzedine Alaïa Skirt $2,800, colette.fr

Manish Arora Pop Dress $1,072, bombayelectric.in

All Saints Elkin Poncho $165, allsaints.com

Aldo Barges Bangles $18, aldoshoes.com

Aldo Croner Peep Toe Pumps $70, aldoshoes.com

American Apparel Nail Polish $6, store.americanapparel.net

Old Navy Aztec-Print Bucket Bag $19.94, oldnavy.gap.com

How are you going to celebrate the holiday?

- Dov Charney no longer holds the majority share in American Apparel after an influx of cash last week from a group of Canadian funders, including private investor Michael Serruya. Unlike everyone else in the world, Serruya has confidence in the American Apparel brand and in Dov Charney, whom he thinks is the victim of a “shakedown,” in reference to that whole sex slave thing. [WWD]

- Are your alarms set? Are your puffy-sleeved gowns steamed and at the ready? The Royal Wedding is tomorrow, meaning that people might stop doing creepy things like tattooing their front teeth with Prince William‘s and Kate Middelton‘s likenesses, or spending 490 bucks (or three easy payments of 163 bucks)  for a vinyl doll bearing the Issa engagement dress seen round the world (as soon as that wedding dress debuts, however, that doll is getting an upgrade). But there’s perhaps nothing creepier– or…classier? —  than slipping on some royally-inspired latex to get it on in the boudoir. Though for $13, I’d expect more than three lousy Will and Kate Jimmyhats — I’m ready to consummate all over that couple. [Fashionista]

- Karl Lagerfeld, contrary to popular belief, will not be involved in the creation of Paper Passion, a fragrance inspired by the smell of books as reflected in a badly-worded statement allegedly from his European PR  person. [Mimi Frou Frou]

- Vidal Sassoon? More like Vidal Sassy.When asked about Kate Middleton‘s hair, the iconic hair-raiser said that it was “kind of neither here nor there” and said of Michelle Obama, “Oh! What wonderful straightening techniques they have today.” Hmm, someone’s sharpened their scissors and they. Are. Out. [Financial Times]

- Sassoon might want to keep comments like that to himself, no matter how innocent, since the British police are not having it for the Royal Wedding. 5,000 cops will be on hand this Friday to ensure that no one ruins this most beautiful, and costly, of days. They are ready to respond “robustly, quickly and firmly,” which is coincidentally how I respond to most “threats” or as I like to refer to them, “come-ons.” [Reuters]

- Balmain officially announced today that Olivier Rousteing (whom Styleite pointed out is a total hottie, thank you) will supercede Christophe Decarnin. [NYT]

- Dov Charney‘s  been busy fellating various financial resources and he’s come up a winner! The professional perv has secured $15.2 million from investors to keep American Apparel from descending into a unique circle of hell reserved for overpriced crotchless pants. [WWD]

Nothing says Easter or Sunday in that matter then a good old fashioned brunch. According to the weather it is going to be a nice and warm Easter so be prepared to sit outside and make passersby envy your amazing  outfit.

The theme for this outfit is going be simple, clean, and casual. For starts this ARDT tee under a chambray blazer is going to keep you light and cool. This spring it is all about pinstripes You can get a pair of pants or shorts from American Apparel. You can finish off you outfit with a pair of comfy Tod’s loafers.  Throw on a pair of  Dolce & Gabbana aviators to block the rays and the fact you are hungover.

Look Five: Spring Spins Sheer and Long

The Sheer Tie Dye Skirt: $175

The dyed effect on this clear piece brings ethereality. It’s meant to layer, so I kept my blinding purple American Apparel tights on underneath. The leggings are low slung, and I’ve hiked the skirt up, leaving my skin only partially exposed, good for a summertime peekaboo.

The Summer Vest Dress: $195

Hitting floor length and speckled with florals, this garment is flexible in its wear. Pull it open for an all-encompassing vest, or close it for a lovely sweeping dress. And it gives me slight vibes of Easter Sunday, which I suppose makes sense, as it’s been reborn.

The Cashmere Crop: $105

Soft and delicious is this little top. It squeezes right into this look, its lavender picking up the purples throughout. In the mid-weather Spring, it’ll keep you cuddling warm with a jacket, but will still be working alone with a high waist. The shoulders stay aloft with substantial facing, acting as its own shoulder pads.

Want more from The Reformation? Check what I did with Look 1, Look 2, Look 3 and Look 4. Happy Shopping.

The Reformation NYC | 143 Ludlow St, New York, NY 10002, (646) 448-4925

Photography by Christopher Hall

Shoes by Walter Steiger.

1. Quit this: Birkenstocks
A mandal by any other name would look as bad.

Hit this: Espadrilles
An Hermès espadrille may not be ideal for Ultimate Frisbee in the quad, but it’s more than appropriate for quick munchie runs.

2. Quit this: Tie-Dye
Psychedelia  gave us many things, none of them as enduring or as tacky as tie-dye.

Hit this: Bold prints
Pucci prints are as trippy as they come so you can easily get lost staring into them for hours on end.

3. Quit this: Hemp
A durable and versatile fabric, there are more chic ways to green your wardrobe, especially without using your green.

Hit this: Organic fabrics
If you’re all about sustainability and that crap, H&M‘s new Conscious Collection is easy on the environment and on your wallet.

4. Quit this: Puka shell necklaces
Ah, the puka shell necklace, or as I like to think of it, shorthand for letting everyone know you’re a complete tool.

Hit this: Statement jewelry
A statement necklace says something completely different, like “I’m high as a kite right now and I’m going to dress like it.”

5. Quit this: Ponchos
If you’ve been indulging a little too much in the late night Taco Bell, then by all means, drape an unflattering carpet over yourself.

Hit this: Capes
However, a cape like this Alexander McQueen number is a fashionable alternative to the poncho but on the other hand, so is anything else.

6. Quit this: Board shorts
Board shorts are appropriate on only one occasion, and that is on a surf board. Any other time is just an insult to surfers everywhere.

Hit this: Suit shorts
Tom Ford doesn’t think men should wear shorts at all, but Thom Browne doesn’t expect you to play hacky sack in a full-on pant during those hot summer months.

7. Quit this: Hawaiian shirts
Hawaiian shirts are appropriate on only one occasion, and that is on Charlie Sheen. Any other time is just an insult to Charlie Sheen…which is kind of all right.

Hit this: Paisley shirts
Odds are you won’t need much to cheer you up this 420, but paisley, like this Michael Kors top, can add a dash of curlicued sunshine to anyone’s day.

8. Quit this: Baggy jeans
“So okay, I don’t want to be a traitor to my generation and all but I don’t get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair – ew – and cover it up with a backwards cap and like, we’re expected to swoon? I don’t think so.” – Cher Horowitz

Hit this: Harem pants
A harem pant gives you the same freeballin’ feeling of a pair of slouchy Levi’s hanging off your upper thighs and — bonus points — the drop-crotch acts as a great weed table if nothing else is around.

9. Quit this: American Eagle
For most of us, middle school is over and so is the Eagle.

Hit this: American Apparel
Going from the Eagle to the Apparel, though, is not so much a show of growth so much as a show of wanting to get laid. But even stoners need to slut it up sometimes.

10. Quit this: Beanies
A beanie is like the stoner equivalent of the little black dress. And though I would deign to ask any pothead worth his or her reefer to abandon their LBD…

Hit this: Newsboys
A newsboy cap adds a certain air of jauntiness and charm. I mean, who would you rather get high with, beanie boy or Brad Pitt? Though the beanie guy looks baked as all get out.

Happy Toking and remember to dress is human, to smoke divine.

- American Apparel sleaze, Dov Charney, wants to live the Hugh Hefner lifestyle: hopped up on so many ‘ludes and Viagra he won’t know when he’s coming or on who. [Styleite]

- The world’s most expensive shoe costs nearly $230,000 and is made of solid gold and over 2200 diamonds. That’s nothing, I’ve got the world’s most expensive Crocs:  $250, made of solid plastic and Cubic zirconia. It goes really well with my world’s most expensive velour tracksuit. [Telegraph]

- Noted Jew, Donna Karan, thinks John Galliano‘s anti-Semitic remarks were “”blown up out of proportion.”  Karan goes on to say that Galliano is “a wonderful designer, a brilliant designer, and he probably needs help and support right now.” Well, I already know of someone who’s on the help and support bandwagon. [The Cut]

- Remember when Matthew Williamson said that Kate Middleton “isn’t a fashion bunny” and “I don’t know why everyone in fashion is waiting to see what she wears. I’m, like, thinking: get over it.” Well, turns out he was just “misquoted”: “I was referring to the fact that I’d been asked about her three times previously in the same night so it was more that I was over the fact that I’d been asked repeatedly about her. I’m setting the record straight: I’m a big fan and I’m sure she’ll make an amazing choice [for her wedding dress].” Yeah, that record is about as straight as Elton John‘s Oscar party. [Fashionista]

Dressed in American Apparel tights &  leotards while armed with 6 inch heels, the two maneuver around the pilates machines like a bunch of old pro. Which reminds me have you check out: How To Look Good While Breaking a Sweat ?

LINK LOVE: The Luxury Spot

- The sight of Anna Wintour in Easy Breezy Tennis Casual was at first jarring. Then my mind was officially blown when I learned that she was in $158 J. Brand boot-cut jeans. Not because they were $158 J. Brand jeans, but a boot cut! I recently dug up a pair of flairs that I may or may not have stolen from a fifteen-year-old girl and of course proclaimed that the boot-cut was back. Anna Wintour is totes copying me, you guys. [The Cut]

- Bikini Man-Waxing is becoming a trend among — I’m guessing since it’s now becoming a trend — among straight men since the gays have been hairless since the early 90s. Boy Brazilians for everyone! [Refinery29]

- Three paparazzi photographers are taking Gisele‘s bodyguards to court after they allegedly fired shots at them two years ago during the super’s wedding to football-playing-guy Tom Brady. Sounds like Gisele needs to hire bodyguards with better aim. [Huff Po]

- Condé Nast got swindled into paying $8 million to someone who was apparently in Deliverance. [Styleite]

- James Franco has retired from Twitter, leaving a noticeable dearth of kitten pictures and tirades against Bruce Villanch. I’d be happy to take up the latter cause. [EW]

- According to American Apparel‘s Chairman Dov Charney, the company is doing just fiiiiiine, thank you: “We have a variety of options. We could do a private placement of stock. Or we could use the resources we have. We do $10 million a week in sales.” However, $10 mil a week in sales didn’t keep the company from an $86.3 million net loss in 2010. I guess sheer bodystockings aren’t as popular as they used to be. [WWD]

- And this is a sure fire sign that you’re company is on the brink of disaster. American Apparel‘s resident sex criminal/CEO, Dov Charney, bought six million shares of his own company in an attempt to inject a little more cash into the much-beleaguered retail giant. Shouldn’t he be using that money for his inevitable legal fees? [WWD]

- Abercrombie and Fitch — you know that company that apparently sells clothes with models who don’t wear any — felt a little pressure after releasing their push-up bikini top for girls as young as 7 years old from like…everyone and have thus taken the only logical step: removing the word “push-up” from the description, of course! It’s good to know with American Apparel on shaky ground, we can always depend on Abercrombie & Fitch to maintain fashion’s moral integrity. [The Globe and Mail]

- Target is apparently offering a Mossimo knock-off of Proenza Schouler‘s PS1 bag and Jack and Lazaro are none too happy about it. Target on the other hand will neither confirm nor deny the allegations but they did say something about being rubber and Proenza being glue. [NYT]

- Noted actress, Tea Leoni…it is 1998, right? Anyway, Tea Leoni will be starring in a new HBO pilot set in the fabulous, fast-paced world of fashion titled Spring/Fall. The show is being written by one of Six Feet Under‘s scribes and produced by the kids who brought you The September Issue, so Tea Leoni might actually have a career again. The 90s really are back! [Deadline]

- The second gal to accuse Dov Charney of…well, being Dov Charney took to the airwaves to speak to Today. My guess, for a company already on the verge of bankruptcy, this isn’t going to help. Just sayin’. [NY Mag]

- Katie Holmes got down with the Real Housewives of New York at a premiere party for her new fashion short film with John Frieda…hey, remember that time Holmes’ Dawson Creek co-star, Michelle Williams, got nominated for an Oscar? Twice? [Daily Front Row]

- View co-host and EGOT-er, Whoopi Goldberg admitted that she was stoned as a Marley on 420 when she accepted her Best Supporting Actress Oscar at the 1991 ceremony: ”So I smoked this wonderful joint that was the last of my home grown. When he [presenter Denzel Washington] said my name and I popped up, I thought, ‘Oh fuck… okay, up the stairs… around to the podium… there’s millions of people, pick up the statue, get the statue.’” Oooh, Whoopi’s got that home grown ish? Can a bitch come over and hold your Oscar in a very similar state of mind? [DListed]

- Sylvester Stallone time traveled back to 25 years ago when he was still relevant, liked what he saw and decided to start a clothing line. Never one to rest on his laurels, Sly’s line will be inspired by Rocky (“the gentleman”) and Rambo (“the rebel”). [Fashionologie]

- Dov Charney simply can’t help sexually harassing his employees. And they can’t stop trying to  sue his pants off. Of course, there are much easier ways to get Dov’s pants off — like saying “Hi, Dov. I’m basically legal.” [NY Times]

- Once upon a time, Abby Lee Kershaw was a little girl with a big dream. Though she looks like she belongs on an episode of My So-Called Life/Clarissa Explains It All,  one can see the potential that the Kaiser can’t seem to get enough of. [Stardust and Sequins]

- Sesssilee Lopez‘s mom has written a book “to help other parents help their daughters become high fashion models.” As a “super momager,” Janice Celeste encountered her fair share of the fashion world’s craziness, such as “one model who dipped cotton balls in orange juice and consumed it to feel full. Later it came out that she had anorexia.” Janice Celeste says anorexic, I say genius. [Fashionista]

-  After killing an intruder with a pink .38-caliber pistol, beauty queen Meghan Brown threw on some lingerie for a steamy photoshoot. Why? “I wanted to make some money. I wanted to capitalize on this. I’m the perfect example of why women should have a gun.” Then she asked if anyone had a problem with that while pulling a sequined pistol with lace trimming out of her cleavage. [The Daily]

- Kiki de Montparnasse wants you to get Kinky de Montparnasse while checking your mate with this sensual chess set with pieces made out of sex toys. Get your rooks off. [Kiki de Montparnasse]

- Chris Brown is “disappointed” in his actions after busting a window at Good Morning America‘s studios earlier this week after host Robin Roberts asked him about that little thing with Rihanna. Geez, you savagely beat someone up, get a restraining order against you and become a social pariah, and suddenly you can’t even throw a chair out of a window in peace. [The Daily Beast]

- And in celebration of Twitter‘s 5th anniversary (#OMG), Refinery29 has blessed us with their list of the 10 Most Annoying Types of Fashion Twitterers. They forgot “The Swag Slut” — The shallow, opportunistic media-whore who will do anyone and anything to get free stuff. Also known as @LesFabian. [Refinery29]

- American Apparel has hired a new retail executive in Marty Staff to dig them out of the clusterfuck known as their crippling debt. With a reported net loss of $67 million over the first nine months of 2010, they’ll need a very large shovel. Perhaps CEO Dov Charney can start funneling some money from his secret sex slave ring to boost revenue. I’m not saying break up the sex slave ring, god forbid, but this is the age of synergy. A sex slave sweat shop, perhaps? [The Cut]

- Vogue Italia‘s EIC, Franca Sozzani wags her bony little finger at pro–anorexia websites for propagating eating disorders in young girls while defending  designers who altruistically “discard those [models] who are visibly suffering from nutritional problems.” Well, as long as they’re discarded…. [Vogue.it]

Photo: Refinery29

- Dov Charney has been accused of behavior even despicable by his loose, scumbaggy standards. What could that possibly be, you ask? How’s about subjecting a young girl to sex slavery for her 18th birthday (allegations AA denies). Happy Birthday — slip on this muzzle!…The Charlie Sheen Story. [Racked]

- “Artist” Richie Budd has encased a bunch of not completely unattractive frat boys behind Plexiglass in the exhibition, “Come on Guy” (one must assume) for the sake of art. And also for the sake of perverts who have been banned from every other peepshow in town. [Refinery 29]

- Kate Middleton to wear Alexander McQueen at wedding? Reportedly, the princess-bride-to-be consulted British Vogue‘s EIC, Alexandra Shulman over the momentous gown. All hail the McQueen! [The Cut]

- Matthew Morrison‘s album art was clearly dug up from a never released early-90s Richard Marxx project. Meanwhile, shelve this easy listening snoozefest and give me Amber Riley‘s record, ASAP. [Just Jared]

- Kanye West will not be attending Central Saint Martins after all, it seems. According to a CSM spokesperson: ”He isn’t coming to study the MA course but he did visit the college regarding a separate issue last week.” I hope that “separate issue” involves renaming the college Central Saint Kanyes. [Vogue.co.uk]

- Recession, resmession! Is there even a recession anymore/does anyone even care? Well Michael Kors certainly could give two shits. He’s opened his largest store in the world: a sprawling 7,000 square feet in Paris. [NYT]

- And at the Paris opening of his new store, Mary J. Blige “confirmed a year-old report that she will portray Nina Simone in an upcoming biopic” by covering a Simone classic. I’m officially starting my Oscar pool early this year. [NYT]

- Miss J. Alexander once famously said (on one of the 62 cycles of Top Model): “Fashion has no sympathy or empathy.” Well, if you’re John Galliano, that may not be absolutely true. [The Cut]

- Walking lab experiment James Franco has been tooling around with supermodel Agyness Deyn and has uploaded some of their kooky exploits on the Twitter. [Oh No They Didn't!]

*Bands. No solo acts were considered for this list. Or we all know Bowie would be up here.

#10 - NIRVANA

Kurt Cobain embodies the grunge revolution of the nineties. He synced the music to the laying low layered baggy flannel I-couldn’t-care-less look. It was an anti-fashion statement, a call to his own philosophy with reckless comfort, and thus it became fashion.

#9 – GUNS N ROSES

Of the glam metal hair bands that existed in thick of the eighties, Axel Rose and his lusciously locked bandmates were some of the most authentic in the genre. Their punk tinged solid rocker look made their shaggy manes manly. Power leather, head banging bandanas, faded shrunken graphic tees and hand cut effects complement their genuine rockstar songs.

#8 THE KILLERS

The intrinsic cool of Brandon Flowers emanates throughout The Killers. They create the kind of music that so easily sounds contrived when attempted by others, and the same goes for their look. Their polished quality with major statement, like feather shoulders or fur jackets, embodies both music and style in the best light.

#7 – OUTKAST

Big Boi keeps it hood. André 3000 blasts it into the future while tossing around a twenties vibe. He raised his waistline when no one else did and created mayhem with his look in “Hey Ya!” Their music is as smooth and superfast-paced as their appearance.

#6 – THE CLASH

As key players in the original wave of British punk, their shredded, zipped and right tight aesthetic weighed heavily in the formation of the genre. Their politically driven lyrics are backed by their F-you look and general badassery.

#5 – MGMT

This psych rock group from the here and now is a major reason that American Apparel stocked its shelves with blinding neon. Their exceptional style leads Andrew VanWyngarden and Benjamin Goldwasser to experimentation and wild inspiration. For instance, on their website a fan asks, “What inspired the fashion choice for Lolla[palooza] in Grant Park? You looked pretty hot in those jackets. (In every sense of the word.) Amazing.” Andrew’s answer? Quite amazing indeed.

#4 – LED ZEPPELIN

Gah, it’s effortless. The unbuttoned bare chested sexiness of Robert Plant is only upped by the fur collared leather trench of John Bohnam, complemented by the multi-tonal jacket on John Paul Jones and completed by Jimmy Page‘s slick tweed. Their ever present style had the same air as their music; the loudest, most soulful wails and riffs and rips always rode the chillest undercurrent.

#3 – JIMI HENDRIX EXPERIENCE

Jimi Hendrix dressed like the psychedelic royalty he was. Purple and mind altering patterns enwrapped him as he lit guitars on fire, shredded it with his teeth, and as LSD dripped down from the scarf tied around his head (allegedly). The Experience was a spectacle; heady music enhanced tenfold by the showmanship of Hendrix.

#2 – THE ROLLING STONES

The Stones are the greatest vaudeville act of all time, never ceasing. Clothing slings on their rockstar bodies with ease, as does some of the greatest rock and roll ever performed pour out of them. They started out, much like The Beatles and every early British Invasion band thereafter in straight suits and matching haircuts. With time and money they evolved into wearing spectacle-worthy designer pieces like Mick Jagger’s Prada cock feather fedora or these pants. Keith Richards sparked the eyeliner earringed look that Johnny Depp so famously adopted for Captain Jack Sparrow. Undeniable sex appeal lies as much in their music as in style of larger than life, gender bending (yet deeply masculine) cool. And they’re still at it now.

#1 – THE BEATLES

The boys who brought rock and roll to the masses went through a series of evolutions in their seven years as a band. They began clean cut and mop topped, singing sweet yet earth shaking songs of holding hands, sharing secrets, twisting and shouting above the echoing shrieks and screams of crazed fans across the globe.  Always the epitome of class, they experimented with the finest suiting in the world, and it was Pierre Cardin who introduced them to the Indian Nehru jacket. Once they receded from the touring spotlight, they blossomed further as style icons. Sgt. Pepper and Magical Mystery Tour brought psychedelia to the forefront with neon military regalia, wild paisleys, beads, thin chains, moustaches and acid. Onto The White Album, which they wrote most of while practicing transcendental meditation in an ashram, they developed further spiritually and grew into newer versions of themselves. John Lennon was looking more like Jesus every day, and solidifying his round spectacle staple. Paul McCartney kept charmingly classy, now paring back the brights. George Harrison grew ever more spiritual, keeping a relaxed finery about him. Ringo was actually the most fashionably daring of the four, hamming up the giant rings and divinely accessorizing. The Beatles were indisputable trendsetters as their image and sound transformed through time, transforming the world around them.

1. Ochre Pintuck Jumpsuit ($80 missselfridge.com)

2. Janis by Janis Savitt Multi-Strand Snake Chain Necklace ($569 bergdorfgoodman.com)

3. Arden B. Faux Suede Wedge Pump ($59 ardenb.com)

4. Cynthia Rowley Ostrich Feather Vest ($330 cynthiarowley.com)

5. Karen Walker Agent Sunglasses ($210 gargyle.com)

1. Celine Linen Dress (lanecrawford.com)

2. YSL Oval Turquoise Ring ($295 cultstatus.com.au)

3. Casadei Ankle Boots ($820 thecorner.com)

4. Anna Sui Brocade Sweater Tights ($22 zappos.com)

5. AllSaints Caledonian Jacket ($490 allsaints.com)

1. Roberto Cavalli Animal Print Top ($620 farfetch.com)

2. Balmain Cropped Leather Motocross Pants ($5,190 net-a-porter.com)

3. Noir Gotham City Ring ($238 charmandchain.com)

4. Alexander Wang Dakota Lace-Up Terracotta Ankle Boots ($800 shopmrsh.com)

5. Marc Jacobs Leather Julie Bag ($1,348 colette.fr)

1. Mulberry Sandwashed Silk Blouse ($460 mulberry.com)

2. Goldsign Misfit Mid-Rise Skinny Jeans ($200 net-a-porter.com)

3. Alexander McQueen Studded Skull Pumps ($1,250 ssense.com)

4. Fendi Patchwork Calf Hair Peekaboo Tote ($4,600 bergdorfgoodman.com)

5. Oscar de la Renta Crystal Tassel Drop Earrings ($257 bergdorfgoodman.com)

1. Tibi Fitted Jacquard Dress ($184 theoutnet.com)

2. Anna Sui Magenta Microfiber Tights ($14 zappos.com)

3. M.A.C. Lustreglass Lip Gloss in Wonderstick ($14.95 amazon.com)

4. Prada Satin Half Bow Peeptoe Pumps (£495.00 flannelsfashion.com)

5. Dominic Jones Tooth 22-Karat Rose Gold-Plated Ring ($129.50 theoutnet.com)

1. Vivienne Westwood Red Label Classic Black Blazer (£439.00 hervia.com)

2. Ramzi Musa for Browns Leopard Print Silk Shorts ($265 brownsfashion.com)

3. Anna Sui Brocade Sweater Tights ($22 zappos.com)

4. Maison Martin Margiela Line 10 Paperbag Ankle Boot ($925 barneys.com)

5. Topshop Coral Leather Lock Handle Bag ($110 topshop.com)

1. REDValentino Ruffle Blouse ($495 valentino.com)

2. D&G Stretch Satin Skinny Trousers ($313.50 my-wardrobe.com)

3. American Apparel Poly Canvas Bow Hair Clip in Shale Green ($14 americanapparel.net)

4. YSL Tribtoo Shimmer Leather Pumps (£545.00 harveynichols.com)

5. Paige Novick Becca Bangle Set ($575 farfetch.com)

1. Topshop Lilac Sleeveless Tea Dress ($95 topshop.com)

2. Rick Owens Gold Calf Leather Jacket ($2,146 shopmrsh.com)

3. Acne Hydro Leather Plateau Boot ($440 youheshe.com)

4. Erickson Beamon Spike and Crystal Ring (£250.00 harveynichols.com)

5. YSL Rouge Personnel Lipstick in #23 Irresistible Violet ($25 yesstyle.com)

Photo: Fashionista.com

If you’ve been succumbing to your body’s innate, and frankly annoying, compulsion to fatten itself up to combat the ravages of winter, then a giant sack is no doubt your best friend. An oversized T-shirt is versatile, simple and even better, cheap. American Apparel has great T-shirt dresses for $45, or you can probably get a pack of Hanes undershirts for a third of that price.

Photo: American Apparel

It was hard to pick just one thing from Givenchy‘s excellent Fall 2011 men’s collection, but these lace-up boots are perfect for stomping through the slush still prevalent on New York’s sidewalks.

Photo: GQ

Perhaps the most important accessory during Fashion Week is a good bag. One that can hold your laptop, a notebook, a change of shoes, a bottle of booze and a concealed weapon should any would-be fashionistas try to cut you in line. With Balenciaga‘s Arena Giant Feed Sac, you can carry your life and perhaps a dead body, from show to show.

Photo: Barneys

I’ve been all about volume as of late and The Row‘s Apleton Cape gives it in spades…then belts it at the waist. You’ll be able to keep warm in the cold February air and should a strong breeze kick up, you can just unbelt the cape and float on over to the next collection.

Photo: Barneys

After working hard, you’re going to need to play hard and luckily fashion people LOVE to play. For the plethora of after parties, you’re going to need a good evening look, including a proper heel in which to dance the night away. Twirl it, shake it, don’t break it, kick it and drop it like it’s hot in Miu Miu‘s graphic Spring 2011 pumps. (Jazz hand finish)

Photo: Style.com

And to keep the party going, you’re going to need the perfect party dress; something short and flirty that comes off easily and looks great crumpled in the corner, should you be so lucky to find the one heterosexual man lurking about. Gucci‘s Spring 2011 cocktail dresses fit the bill, managing to be both sexy and sassy.

Photo: Style.com

]]> http://fashionindie.com/a-guide-to-your-fashion-week-wardrobe/feed/ 0 http://fashionindie.com/muse-of-the-world-diddy-behind-911/ http://fashionindie.com/muse-of-the-world-diddy-behind-911/#comments Mon, 31 Jan 2011 21:34:51 +0000 Lester Brathwaite http://fashionindie.com/?p=183283 Diddy is being sued for conspiring to knock down the twin towers, Kim Kardashian feels betrayed over her nipple and now you can get American Apparel for $1.04

Image: IAmBoiGenius

- Gwyneth Paltrow says people are “so mean” to her. You know what would help? Not being Gwyneth Paltrow. [Huffington Post]

- Diddy is being sued for *dramatic music cue* $1 TRILLION by a psycho lady who claims that, in addition to date raping her and her kids, The Ego Occasionally Known as Sean Combs planned 9/11.  Mo’ Money, Mo’ Clinically Insane Problems. [Radar]

- Kim Kardashian’s mad that W turned her artsy photoshoot into “full f*cking porn.” Oh, look who’s too good for full f*cking porn all of a sudden. [Popeater]

- Lea T. trannied down to São Paolo Fashion Week and closed Alexandre Herchcovitch. Also performing runway duty, alleged actor Ashton Kutcher. [Style File]

- Naomi Campbell strips down for British GQ to deliver the “naked truth” on those blood diamonds. I like the literal take on the clothing status of the truth, but why not drive the point home and have her naked drenched in blood and showering herself in diamonds? One word: art. [The Cut]

- No need to worry, everyone, Crystal Renn is still not thin. [Jezebel]

- American Apparel is now as cheap as it looks. After major investor Richard Burkle sold off at least 909,500 shares earlier this month, stock prices are about the price of a pack of gum. Slutty, crotchless gum. [WWD]

- Amy Westcott, the costume designer behind Black Swan, on being “airbrushed from history”: “I don’t have a publicist working for me, needless to say, and I was asked…to avoid any bad press towards the film.” Glad to see she’s not holding a Rodarte-sized grudge. [Fashionista]

1. Wear more fur. I want to be on PETA‘s “Most Wanted List” in 2011. Hell, I’d kill a family of chinchillas, skin them and wear them if I could. Nature is going to shit anyway, so why not put those endangered species to good use? Drape me from head to stiletto in fur and if possible, blood diamonds — I will single-handedly ruin what’s left of this world.

2. No more jeggings. This is a hard one. I officially own more pairs of jeggings than I do of actual jeans, but the trend is already becoming horribly outdated. Still, on a bloated day, there’s nothing more comfortable than breathable cotton. Except maybe breathable cotton and a pint of Mint Chocolate Chip iced cream. I mean, you’re already bloated, might as well go down with the ship.

3. Find shoes that actually fit me. Yesterday I found a bit of blood in my socks from my combat boots digging unmercifully into my heels. And my pinky toe is all but dead from being constantly wedged into vintage shoes. But sometimes you have to pounce on a Cuban heel and suck it up for the sake of fashion.

4. Learn to tie a bowtie. Right now I only (sadly) have one bowtie, a clip on chambray from American Apparel. However, it behooves a gentleman to know how to properly affix a bowtie. That, and to mix a proper cocktail and to properly kiss another man with tongue.

5. Rely less on H&M. Gaga knows I love those damned Swedes. The majority of my wardrobe derives from Hennes and Mauritz, but as my style and tastes develop, I will inevitably have to stray from the flock. However, if they continue with their all-star collaborations, I might have to throw this resolution under the bus, much like the year I decided to “cut back on drinking.”

6. Bring back the ascot. This has been a resolution of mine since I was about 14 and why not?, it’s a perfectly reasonable neck accessory that doesn’t at all remind people of hapless, blond, teenaged snoops.  Over the years, I’ve periodically worn ascots to varying degrees of success. Once, I wore it on a job interview and I like to think it had nothing to do with my not receiving a callback.

7. Get photographed by The Sartorialist. This is partly just me stroking my own vanity. Okay, it’s completely just me stroking my own vanity, but dammit, do you think I’m walking around in capes, sequins and harem pants for fun?! Okay, I totally am, but I would at least like it documented for posterity’s sake.

8. Find a practically-sized day bag. When traipsing about New York, I like to be prepared for any and everything, thus I carry a man purse that would put Mary Poppins’ magical carpet bag to shame. More than once have I pulled out a coat rack from the depths of my tote, but no longer! I’m actually contemplating a stylish backpack (suggestions, anyone?), or a medium-sized tote for my everyday travels. And that’s what I like to call “progress.”

9. Find a good tailor. A good tailor is absolutely essential — not just to let out one’s clothing after gorging on holiday fare, though that in itself is god’s work — but sometimes the perfect pair of pants can be a bit too big or a bit too short. Enter a tailor and for a few bucks, those Cheap Mondays look a little less cheap.

10. Shop more. The bottom-line to all this resolving and promise-making is that I need to step up my shopping game. That means I’ve got to throw around more plastic than an Ultimate Frisbee championship, roll out more dough than a pizzeria and carry more bags than Oprah‘s eyes.

It’s a tough job, but in order to truly make a change in 2011, it’s necessary.

Yes. I. Can.

Cartoon: Political Graffiti

J.Crew Polka-dot Tights ($23), Kate Spade Oversized Dot Tights ($27), Madewell Swiss Dot Tights ($15)

Falke Ribbed Over-The-Heel Leggings ($64), Rick Owens Merino Wool Zig-Zag Footless Tights ($870),Forever 21 Ribbed Knit Tights ($7)

J.Crew Lace Tights ($23), Urban Outfitters Tuscan Floral Tights ($14), The Limited Lace Tights ($20)

Charlotte Ruse Teal Tights ($8), Falke Red Pepper Tights ($25) Anthropolgie Mustard Tights ($13),Free People Cobalt Tights ($12)

(Photo credit: fashionologie)

Molestache connoiseur and self-proclaimed perv, Dov Charney

From: Ryan Narita
Sent: Wed 11/10/2010 9:59 AM
To: [A half dozen entire AA stores]
Subject: peace out american apparel… peace out forever.

Dear fellow american apparel employees,

First off I’d like to say working for this company for the most part was pretty fun! I’ve made some excellent friends and met some really cool people. Working for american apparel has opened up many interesting opportunities for me and I am thankful for that. I am also thankful for all my past managers district, store, and backstock(al boyle) I was lucky enough to have kind , thoughtful, intelligent people leading the way.

That said I’d like to share a little of my story.

A little over a year ago when I started with this company I was (although not by my standards) a prime candidate for management. Within my first week I memorized all proper procedures, knew all placements, style codes and any technical aspect of the job. I was even helping my backstock manager with his duties. Being naturally a hard worker, well organized, and to some extent obsessive compulsive helped me to excel easily at my job. As months passed and my responsibilities grew exponentially I received little reward for both my hard work and aptitude. I could already feel the stupidity of 9 dollars an hour. But I sucked up my pride to work with cool friendly people. I’ll try to condense this a little..

Around 2 months in: I was given the title ‘assistant backstock manager’ and promised a small but reasonable raise. No such raise came.
Around 5 months in: my backstock manager was fired. And instead of promoting me(second in command) to manager they brought in someone who 1. Had worked two months less than me. 2. Knew less about the job. 3. Knew nothing about our store.
Around 7 months in: my backstock manager was once again fired. And once again replaced by someone with less knowledge, and less experience. However, this time my new backstock manager was completely incompetent and entirely unproductive. Although he was good at playing the drums. wwabd.
Around 8 months in: to everyone’s surprise he too was fired(sarcasm)

I thought finally they will make the obvious choice and make me the new backstock manager and I will finally get paid more than 9 dollars an hour for this stupid job.

Around 8.5 months in: I am once again stepped over and another outside person is brought in to be promoted..
By this point I had been screwed too many times to care about my job. I simply concluded that by nature this company is counter productive. Someone might ask why I would be so resentful? If you worked full time for a company for a full year at 9 dollars an hour I could only assume you must be mentally retarded. I however was given a raise of 75 cents so that only makes me partially mentally retarded.

The moral of my story is don’t give a shit about the company because they definitely do not give a shit about you! That is obvious.

I’d also like to share a couple more secrets I’ve learned over the past year:

- don’t be afraid to lose your job. if some shit for brains ass hole like dov or dan sends a quiver down your spine then I truly pity you. they are just men. Stupid spoiled jewish men. Losing 9 dollars an hour is nothing to be afraid of. Certainly nothing worth losing your dignity over. Which brings me to my next point.

- all “head office” employees(with the exception of dom. He is competent) are nothing to fear. These are people with no ambitions nor goals in life. they are content with being the subservient pet of an idiot cocaine addict and blatant self proclaimed pervert. They know they will go no further in life than this company and concurrently don’t mind sucking a little dick once in a while .

- [Other person] is incompetent. [Other person] is useless. [Other person] is a moron. [Other person] is satan incarnate. Ignore her whenever you get the chance.

- Dov charney is an ethical pervert. THAT is why you do perfect fill..

- If you are a hard working valuable employee ask for a raise now.(if you do not receive a raise within three weeks guess what? You’ll never get one.)

- You may ask whatever you want to pretty much anyone in charge, you will receive little to no response you WILL be ignored.

- the company may ask whatever they want of you then place the word “mandatory” after it, If you do not comply you WILL be fired.

- this is just a job you do so you can get drunk on the weekend and have food to eat during the week . it’s not a career do not disillusion yourself in thinking otherwise.

sincerely Ryan Narita
ASSISTANT BACKSTOCK MANAGER

Is anyone else slightly put off by the “stupid spoiled jewish men” comment? Or at all surprised that working for American Apparel completely sucks?

LINK LOVE: Gawker

Even though I’m currently rocking the Alice+Olivia  Minx on my nails, I’m definitely going to get my hands on some of these!

The CEO of American Apparel at least has a sense of humor when it comes to the countless sexual harassment claims about him. These ads are titled “In Bed With The Boss” and are super tongue in cheek.

LINK LOVE: Styliete

After an all-star punk festival fell apart, the bands involved found themselves with some spare scratch and a landscape ripe for shootouts and standoffs.  The plot revolves around three hitmen/bank robbers who happen upon a small town populated by wild and wacky weirdos who they have to commingle with while they wait for the heat to die down.  Things, of course, go awry.  Honestly the plot is secondary though to the rollicking nature of the film, the setpieces, and total absurdity.

The film’s cast reads like a who’s who of the era’s punk and new wave scene.  There’s Joe Strummer, The Pogues, The Circle Jerks, Grace Jones, Elvis Costello, and even soon-to-be indie film god Jim Jarmusch.  And as an extra added bonus they’re all playing dress up.  Oh and Courtney Love‘s there too.

And she’s dressed well, which shouldn’t be much of a surprise if you follow her new Tumblr.  Pink dress with white polka dots not unlike this offering from Leifsdottir.  She might want to close those legs though.  But the matching watermelon‘s a nice touch.

Concerning the guys, check out Dick Rude‘s pants.  They’re very reminiscent of pairs shown off by Vivienne Westwood on a regular basis, which only seems fitting considering her place as the godmother of punk fashion.  Joe Strummer’s got on a ho-hum slim black suit but such a suit is almost always a recipe for looking good.

The gorgeous Jennifer Balgobin is, throughout the movie, basically a walking ad for American Apparel.  Look at the top picture for an example.  Spandex top?  Check.  High waisted bottoms?  Check.  That’s not to say she doesn’t class it up a little, though.  A simple, strapless blue dress which looks perfect for the weather…and also strikingly like this Jason Wu.

It’s almost frightening how much the women’s wardrobe in this movie matches up with pieces you’d find in today’s boutiques trending towards the younger gal.  Despite the film’s being over two decades old, the dress pictured above is here, here, and here.  And the boyfriend shirt?  Too many links to think about.

Similarly, this little white number on Michele Winstanley (I think) who, throughout the film, makes you wonder if Karen O got her whole schtick from this one character.  But back to the dress.  Ta-da!  And while the mariachi dressed men behind her probably aren’t exactly in style, they still look pretty awesome.

But before you think there’s only things for the ladies, say hello to Jeeves/Whitey and his killer pink summer suit.  Once again, very similar to something Westwood-ian, it also brings to mind pieces from Junya Watanabe and Filippa K.

The best ensemble in the entire movie, though, is definitely what Jim Jarmusch has got on.  It’s as if the director of such weirdo movies as Mystery Train, Dead Man, and Night On Earth decided to go as Karl Lagerfeld for Halloween.  And it is awesome.

Be warned: Straight to Hell is by no means a cinematic masterpiece, nor will it be in most people’s eyes ‘competent filmmaking’, what with a 5.5 rating on IMDB.  But if you go in with the right attitude, it’s as fun as Robocop and as splendorous as any period piece without being dry and/or expected.  Do yourself a favor and watch it.  (HINT: It’s on YouTube for free).

Some more looks at noteworthy, inexplicable get-ups in the gallery below.

Just because there’s torrential rain falling from the heavens doesn’t mean it’s not summer.  Check the humidity that just won’t give up.  There’s no way you can wear a trench and if you try a rain slicker you’ll be spending a good ten minutes peeling that thing from your skin once you get inside.  And let’s not forget about the foolishness of wearing rain boots.  So here’s a handy little guide on beating the heat (and humidity) while also staying reasonably dry.

As much of a pain in the ass as it is to carry an umbrella around, it’s totally necessary.  You can find a huge variety of cheapies around the city.  Go to Chinatown, Muji, Macy’s, Barneys, or Brooks Brothers, all with umbrellas ranging from $3 to $50.  By using an umbrella, you don’t have to drop a huge amount of coin on a windbreaker which–let’s face it–probably isn’t waterproof anyways.  And what rain does make it through?  It’ll feel damn good.For your top, wear a thin cotton button down.  A t-shirt is liable to get wet and stick to your body and when it dries, it’ll be wrinkled and unsightly.  Furthermore, t-shirts are extremely constricting in this weather.  You’re basically asking to get hot and sweaty (and not in the good, Al Green way).  You can leave the top few buttons undone and allow the shirt to breathe around you.  If a good breeze hits, it might even inflate the shirt and you’ll feel like you’re parachuting/Puff Daddy in that one Ma$e video.  That’s always a plus…if you’re particularly immature like I am.

Concerning your bottom?  Don’t wear pants, guys.  Most young men likely to frequent Fashion Indie probably also wear slim or skinny pants.  Your legs are the most likely part of you that will get wet.  If they do and you’re wearing pants, you’ll be extremely uncomfortable and it will take forever to dry.  If you’re wearing loose pants, you will still be extremely uncomfortable and probably look half-retarded.  Think about it–you’ll have your pants plastered to your shins while the rest droops off to the back.  Not a good look.

Go with a pair of shorts–preferably of a solid, darker color.  We don’t want the rain to soak through and show your privates off now, do we?

Now for the most daunting task of summer rainwear: the shoes.  You can always go the flip-flop route, but if you’re in a walking city, you might find it ‘icky’ or ‘eww-ie’ to leave your feet so exposed to the inevitable puddles you’ll have to traipse through.  If you can’t buck up, go for shoes that will dry fast, you won’t mind tossing, and that don’t look like you’re wearing them for those exact reasons.

Try going with plimsolls or the always reliable Vans and Chucks.  Or get your old-school Bruce Lee on with a pair of espadrilles which are being pushed hard this summer.  The shoes that make the most sense to wear, however, are some genuine boat shoes.  Seeing as they’re made to be worn on a boat, they should serve you well in rainy weather.

Finally, carry a tote.  A backpack’s going to extend too far out from the umbrella and get soaked, a messenger bag is just going to make things hotter.  A tote, however, stays close to your side, is of a quick-drying material, allows for a variety of patterns and styles for cheap and, most importantly, can hold a surprising amount of goods.

So there you have it.  How to stay cool in the summer without burning a hole in  your wallet, the rainy day edition.  A roundup of one suggested outfit culled from this article’s linked pieces below.

1. Navy and White Totes umbrella from Macy’s, $25

2. J. Crew Secret Wash lightweight point-collar poplin shirt, $59.50

3. Topman blue smart shorts, $50

4. United Bamboo Skull Tote, $50

5. Cole Haan Air Yacht Club boat shoes, $56.64

TITLE LOVE: McArthur Joseph

Bronson is held together as much by Refn’s deft directorial hand as the bombastic, unhinged performance of lead man Tom Hardy who became a mountain of muscle for the role.  With this impressive musculature, it would seem as if wardrobe would have to resort to outfitting Hardy a la the Hulkster in Mr. Nanny.  But these are Brits, after all, so bring out the tailors!

Two-toned forest green three piece suit.  The jacket’s not an oversized mess, the pants fit like a charm.  There’s no god-awful Wall Street/finance guy bootcut action going on here.  On top of that check out the sweet oxblood valise Hardy’s got going on.  I doubt anyone leaving prison’s ever looked so dashing.  Check the gallery for a closer look.

Another suit look from the film has Hardy in a black wool(?) three-piece that’s pure Savile Row.  The fit of the vest and the jacket, the collar of the button-down, all are reminiscent of venerable British designers Paul Smith and Vivienne Westwood; or an up-and-comer like Oliver Spencer.  Add in the little details like the watch chain and the simple pocket square (and the face paint), and you’ve got a pretty spectacular outfit.  What could’ve slipped into train conductor shtick is instead just a great ensemble.

Let’s not forget, though, that this is a movie set in and about prison.  Costume designer Sian Jenkins forgoes the prison jumpsuit, instead infusing the prison scenes with a traditional/workwear vibe that’s been all the rage with younger designers in the States in accordance with the ongoing movement towards Americana.

The above two pictures feature pieces reminiscent of a pair of Brit designer Nigel Cabourn trousers.  Or check out Hardy’s sweatshirt–a dead ringer for this simple offering from Acne.  Then onto the jacket Matt King has on, and the workshirt featured above.  Someone should check if workwear obsessed Japanese brand Haversack cut some sort of deal with Refn.

Although Bronson has an overload of testosterone, there’s still room for the ladies.  For example, Bronson’s love interest (played by Juliet Oldfield) looks downright elegant in this McQueen-ish blouse.

Add to that this outfit on Oldfield that looks like a double for one of those ubiquitous American Apparel ads and you’ve officially run quite the spectrum throughout the film, from classic British suits to American/British-styled workwear, couture to hipster-city.

It only makes sense that Bronson runs such a gamut of styles.  The movie itself is a bombastic, complicated showcase of a great actor and director examining the life of a career criminal from stints in prison and the insane asylum, a career fighting men and animals for money, and ultimately prison again.

Even if the clothes weren’t impeccably chosen and designed, like last week’s entry Le Samouraï, the film’s worth checking out anyways.  Hardy and Refn make quite the team.

Check out the gallery for a variation on Terry Richardson’s creepy uncle glasses, Hardy’s paisley tie (which manages not to be absolutely garish), Illesteva style shades, and just for kicks, a jumpsuit.

We all know that as employees in retail stores people are sometimes told to abide by specific dress codes. But what happens when the rules don’t stop there? Last week American Apparel made quite the mistake when someone leaked the employee dress code and beauty requirements. There were a few standard guidelines, for example, employees must never set foot in the store with a pair of Uggs on their feet. But what seemed to get people hyped up wasn’t the dress code, but rather, the beauty guidelines. Among the list were minimal makeup, perfectly plucked brows and naturally colored, long hair. Take a look at the detailed requirements below:

For the women:

a) Makeup is to be kept to a minimal- please take this very seriously. Liquid eyeliner, pencil eyeliner and eyeshadow are advised against; mascara must look very natural (ie. should not be clumpy or a color that does not compliment your skin and haircolor). Blush must not be overdone- should not have glitter or sparkles. Liquid foundation is prohibited (undereye concealer is understandable if it looks natural- ie. not clumpy or caked on, must match your skin tone). Please do not use a shiny gloss on your lips; any lipcolor must be subtle.
b) Eyebrows must not be overplucked. Full eyebrows are very much encouraged. Please do not dye your eyebrows a different color.
c) We encourage long, healthy, natural hair, so please be advised of the following:
-Hair must be kept your natural color.
-Blow-drying hair excessively could cause heat damage, so this is advised against.
-”Bangs” or “fringe” are advised against. It is not part of the direction we’re moving in.

For the men:

a) Hair should look natural. Excessive product to the extent of creating stiffness and an unnatural or greasy appearance to your hair is advised against.
b) Eyebrows should be natural. Please do not dye your eyebrows a different color or overpluck them.
c) Males should not wear makeup.
d) Facial hair needs to be kept clean and well groomed. Any mustache or goatee of a contemporary style are advised against.
e) No gauges allowed whatsoever.

LINK LOVE: NYMag

are Carrie and the girls no longer trendy?….

Yes they were dressed in over-the-top designer duds but is that even cool anymore? In the ten + years since the show has gone off the air, we’ve seen the rise of Alexander Wang, Phillip Lim, American Apparel, “it” girls like Erin Wasson and Agyness, and stars like Alison Mosshart and MIA. At this point Carrie running around in a turban and Samantha in a red dress with spiked shoulders just looks circus costumes gone wrong. Their ensembles were so over-the-top I felt like I was watching rejects from the gay pride parade. Or the Meatpacking District. When the show first aired it was a revolution. It was a revolution for fashion, feminism, and the city of New York itself. But while the rest of us have moved on, Carrie and the girls are stuck on their own fabulousness (you too Madonna). Ladies it’s a wrap.

1. Old Navy

I recently wrote about Old Navy in my “Top 5 Places To Shop This Summer” because it is one of my absolute favorite place to shop for basics. THey offer classic and timeless pieces without taking a chunk of your wallet.

2. American Apparel

American Apparel is a great place to go for basics because they specialize in them. You can also can basics in a variety of colors and styles  that you probably would not be able to get anywhere else.

3. Target

This store is probably the one you can get most bang for your buck. They are located everywhere so there is no need to fret over if there or isn’t there one nearby. One of the most memorable thing I got from there was a pair of brown shorts about 2 years ago that no matter what I wear it with I look like a lot more that the 10 bucks I actually spent.

4. Uniqlo

Now some of you people outside the New York area will be asking what the hell is a Uniqlo? Well I’ll tell you that it is an amazing shop located in Soho. If you are ever in downtown NYC, this is the place to go for great basics.

Meet Jes. She’s your “average genderqueer, slutty-lovin, maoschistic poet type, with an affinity for emulating drag divas, and public displays of old school faggery.” She also has something to say about the ways in which women with disabilities are invisibilized in advertising and mass media. Prepare to be a little shocked.

Part of a series of mock ads called “American Able”, these shots of popular American Apparel ads are getting a ton of attention for Jes Sachse’s sexualization of her ‘disabled’ body. I think it’s a very powerful statement on the status of those with disfigurements, but I’m not sure if the sentiment is felt by all. What do you think indies? Tell us your thoughts in the comments.

Jes Sachse’s other NSFW work is on her website is here - http:/?/?crookedcanvas.?ca