- It’s her birthday and she’ll slap you if she wants to. Happy Birthday Naomi Campbell! The volatile super turns 42 today. Why not celebrate by hurling your phone at an insolent insubordinate?

- André Leon Talley once again tells it like it is. On Beyoncé being late to the Met Gala: ”Beyoncé was not slated to come. She decided to come last minute when the dress arrived at her house. She tried it on and then she said, ‘Okay, I have to come.’ She did arrive at 8:55 and the ball had already started, but it didn’t matter because she is Beyoncé.” [Racked]

- And on whether he’d dress Kim Kardashian: “No, I think that’s bastardizing yourself [as a designer].” [The Cut]

- Occasional nudist Bar Rafaeli tops Maxim‘s Hot 100 list and unsurprisingly she’s bereft of clothing. [Modelinia]

- Mark Zuckerberg’s new wife, Priscilla Chan, is proving more popular than Facebook’s stock with her wedding dress by Claire Pettibone being coveted by a number of jealous bitches brides-to-be. [Fashionista]

- Speaking of bridal wear, for the bride who openly doesn’t give a shit about how she looks: wedding UGGs! [Huff Po]

- Prada‘s new fashion film is practically dripping in Oscars…and probably some weird sexual kinks. Directed by Roman Polanski (guilty on both fronts), Sir Ben Kingsley plays psychiatrist to Helena Bonham Carter before shirking his shrink duties to drape himself in her Prada purple puffer jacket. [Refinery29]

- Jourdan Dunn will be cooking with Hov. The Brit beauty tweeted that she’ll be appearing on Jay-Z‘s website, Life and Times – never heard of it till now — where she’ll be doing a cooking segment. [Modelinia]

- Kate Middleton who? For the State Opening of Parliament this morning, Queen Elizabeth II showed the Duchess of Cambridge how to royally turn it. Everyone else, just drink it in. This is what amazing looks like. [Styleite]

- Legendary hair stylist and salon entrepreneur Vidal Sassoon has passed away at the age of 84.  The nation hangs its bangs in memoriam. [LA Times]

- Rihanna was hospitalized after the Met Ball for “exhaustion and dehydration,” or as I like to call it, Lindsay Lohan Syndrome. [The Cut]

- While RiRi was going H.A.M. doing body shots off of André Leon Talley and Kanye West was busy rolling solo dolo, Kim Kardashian was keeping up with herself since she’s allegedly been banned from the Met Gala by none other than Anna Wintour. [Page Six]

- News of Lady Gaga‘s buzzed about appearance on the season finale of The Simpsons has already been broken, but now there’s video!:

Feat! -- Daphne Guinness in Alexander McQueen, 2011 Guinness literally made an event out of her getting ready for the ball and it payed off with a fitting and flawless tribute to the designer whose "Savage Beauty" was just beginning its historic run.

Fail! -- Madonna in Louis Vuitton, 2009 Louis Vuitton had a banner year in 2009 for providing the worst looks per celeb capita than any other brand, but Madonna's woefully mistaken, thigh-highed misstep best represents the entire lot.

Feat! -- Kate Moss in Marc Jacobs, 2009 Marc Jacobs did better by his girl Kate Moss, however, and the two were the clear belles of the ball. Crafty, crafty, crafty.

Fail! -- Katie Holmes in Giorgio Armani, 2008 While everything is wrong with this look -- the makeup, the bob, the dress, the shoes, the necklace, the shoulder purse in the shape of Tom Cruise -- Katie tried to pawn off responsibility on the blue pumps to her daughter Suri, whom she claimed picked them out. Based on Suri's exquisite taste, I highly doubt it.

Feat! -- Anna Wintour in Chanel Haute Couture, 2008 A controversial choice, I know, but hear me out. Anna Wintour so often goes the very safe and classically chic route, but for the Met's "Superheroes" exhibit, the editrix showed a whiff of whimsy by way of Wonder Woman. However, never one to not keep it real, note that she's still in Chanel and it's still haute couture.

Fail! -- Serena Williams in Oscar de la Renta, 2011 I'll preface this by saying the Royal Wedding had recently happened at this point, so fascinators were just beginning their ascent into the pop culture atmosphere. Williams opted for the burgeoning trend, thus sending this outfit into costume, not Costume Institute, territory.

Feat! -- Gisele in Versace, 2008 Gisele came to the ball in 2008 for one reason and one reason alone: to serve sex on a platter and have the world take a good long taste. So what better dressing than Versace and its history of jaw-droppers?

Fail! -- Shalom Harlow in Bob Mackie, 2009 Sure it looks like Shalom Harlow just rolled out of the dumpster and into a mutated Hefty bag, but dammit she's committed to it and for that I say, "Respect."

Feat! -- André Leon Talley being escorted by Alber Elbaz, 2007 I'm assuming this cape was by ALT's go-to haberdasher Chado Ralph Rucci, but if I'm mistaken who cares because this scene is all one needs to know about the Met Gala. Or anything.

Fail! -- Christina Hendricks in L'Wrenn Scott, 2010 Christina Hendricks has the best kind of problem because of her, shall we say, ample assets. You know, her giant cans. Therefore it's hard to find a dress that accentuates without advertising and the girls are on a mutli-season campaign in this number. But at least they serve as a distraction from whatever's happening with the hair and makeup.

Banks previously tweeted that she would attend the annual ball on the birdlike arm of Alexander Wang: “I can’t wait for the MET ball! I’m going as Alexander Wang’s date. He custom made my outfit and shoes ! !!!! It’s soooo hot !”

Then yesterday she revealed, also via tweet, that Cinderella/Rapunxel was not only going to the ball but also werqing the ball: “I’ve Been invited to Perform for PRADA next week in NYC! Gonna b so lush !! Let’s see what new songs I debut there!#metball2012″

Both posts have since disappeared but a tweet’s not like a regrettable one-night stand you can pretend never happened. It’s more like the resulting venereal disease that will haunt you for the rest of your days.

Anyway, let’s all hope for pictures of Anna Wintour sweeping the floor with her ass as she, Grace Coddington and André Leon Talley shut down the dancefloor. [Styleite]

- Now that motherhood has her feeling “more beautiful than…ever,” People has acknowledged Beyoncé’s newfound hubris by naming her the “World’s Most Beautiful Woman.” It also didn’t hurt that she’s back to her pre-baby weight. I guess taking that cushion out from under her Dereon was a laborious process. #Kidding #NotReally [People]

- Calvin Klein‘s sex clone/ex-porn star boyfriend Nick Gruber was arrested for assault, resisting arrest and possession of cocaine after hitting Calvin — not Klein but some other guy named Calvin he took home that night. And this is why, Mr. Klein, you should class it up like Marc Jacobs and only date current porn stars. [Page Six]

-Anna Wintour, Sarah Jessica Parker and Oscar de la Renta were among the guests to lend their support to Bill Cunningham as he received the Carnegie Hall Medal of Excellence. Also in attendance, a couple of cardboard cutouts of the man of the hour. [Daily Front Row]

- The TIME 100 held its Gala last night and since there was a red carpet Marchesa inevitably made a few uninspired appearances. But the best dressed cake went to Tilda Swinton (naturally) in a Céline jumpsuit (also, naturally). [Fashionista]

- The stars were also out last night at the Chanel Tribeca Film Festival Artist Awards Program Dinner, including Kanye West who shocked — shocked I tell you! —  everyone by bringing alleged girlfriend Kim Kardashian along for the fun. [Refinery29]

- You know who knows how to properly celebrate 420? Rihanna. Aside from rolling a blunt on a bald man’s head — while in Chanel no less — she also puffs with the mightiest lungs in America, if not the world, Snoop Dogg himself. No wonder she ran out of fucks to give…she never had any to begin with. [Buzzfeed]

- Carine Roitfeld is showing no sign of slowing down this year after a whirlwind 2011. Aside from her new magazine, the Parisienne is hooking up with MAC to deliver a limited edition line of cosmetics, focusing, naturally, on the eye and the brow. [WWD]

- Turn your TVs on and turn the sound off for Bravo‘s The Untitled Male Model Project. Kinda surprised, and a little disappointed, it took Bravo this long to launch a reality show centered around male models but I’m assuming Andy Cohen had to do some rigorous “hands-on” research. [The Cut]

- Also hopping on the reality show bandwagon is designer/professional cartwheeler Betsey Johnson whose Style Network show Betsey + Lulu chronicles her relationship with her daughter as she tries to step out of her mother’s sequined shadow. [Racked]

- The Guess v Gucci trial has come to an end, with Guess’ lawyer, Daniel Petrocelli, making a convincing closing argument calling into question Gucci’s slow response to the defendant’s alleged trademark infringement. Judge Shira Scheindlin is expected to deliver her verdict in the coming months. [WWD, sub req'd]

- Tyra’s holding three pictures in her hands…and they’re all going the fuck home. Ms. Banks has not renewed the contracts for (read: fired) her America’s Next Top Model costars — stylist Jay Manuel, noted fashion photographer Nigel Barker and runway coach J. Alexander in favor of recruiting bloggers like Bryanboy. Meanwhile, burn that show to the ground and just bring back André Leon Talley to soft shoe over its ashes. [Page Six]

- Kate Middleton may be the apple of fashion’s eye right now, but let’s not forget that her grandmother-in-law, Queen Elizabeth II has been royally turning it for 60 years. [Telegraph]

- Speaking of the Duchess of Cambridge, Sarah Burton revealed that she used Alexander McQueen‘s Fall 2011 collection as a cover for the wedding dress that launched a thousand gasps. What’s even more impressive, Sarah managed to look Anna Wintour in the eye while lying her face off about designing said dress. And lived to tell the tale. [Styleite]

- Time came out with its list of the 100 greatest style icons of all Time…magazine’s life. The list is a veritable who’s who of models, fashion designers, muses, photographers, editors and stylists from Diana Vreeland to Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. [Time]

- But they neglected to include a few notables, such as Tommy Hilfiger, Donna Karan and my spirit animal André Leon Talley. [Huff Po]

- The release of the 1940 census, detailing people’s names, addresses, whom they lived with, occupations and tons of other personal info proved so popular it crashed the National Archives and Records Administration’s website in a matter of hours. Thank god Facebook came along so we don’t have to wait 72 years to creepily stalk people anymore. [Newsday]

- Abercrombie & Fitch got in touch with its not-so-inner homosexual with this Bruce Weber-directed homage to hot boys groping each other wrestling. Seriously, when is A&F going to stop circling the gay porno airport and bring that sucker into a well-lubricated landing? Video after le jump. [Huff Po]

- And speaking of perverts disguised as clothing companies, Dov Charney re-signed his contract with American Apparel for another three years with a base salary of $800,00o. I knew I shoulda gotten into the sex slave game when I had the chance. Lazy me. [The Cut]

- I see someone’s been reading my dream journal since André Leon Talley is finally getting his own reality show on Bravo. ALT will be yelling at and openly insulting  ”four up-and-coming fashion design teams as they produce the defining collection of their careers.” [Styleite]

- Jason Segal and Michelle Williams are apparently now starring in How I Met My Oscar-Nominated Girlfriend. [Refinery29]

- Stefano Pilati came out from the shadows of scandal after being let go by Yves Saint Laurent a month ago to discuss his career in fashion and his plans for the future. Burning down YSL was surprisingly not a part of said plans. [Fashionologie]

(In order of succession to the President)

President Anna Wintour

Vice President André Leon Talley

Secretary of State: Diane von Furstenberg

Secretary of the Treasury: Bernard Arnault

Secretary of Defense: Karl Lagerfeld

Attorney General Steven Kolb

Secretary of the Interior: Ralph Lauren

Secretary of Agriculture: Marc Jacobs

Secretary of Commerce: Valentino

Secretary of Labor: Nanette Lepore

Secretary of Health and Human Services: Glenda Bailey

Secretary of Housing and Urban Development: Mickey Boardman

Secretary of Education: Michael Kors

Secretary of Veterans Affairs: Carine Roitfeld

Secretary of Homeland Security: Calvin Klein

Chief of Staff: Simon Doonan

Environmental Protection Agency: Emmanuelle Alt

Office of Management & Budget: Donna Karan

United States Trade Representative Ambassador: Daphne Guinness

United States Ambassador: Grace Coddington

Secretary of Small Business Administration: Fern Mallis

And there, indies, is your political lesson of the day.

Now the question is, would you vote Anna Wintour for president?

The other question is, can you find our h McQueen? Happy Presidents Day off!

- Snooki proved that there’s an actual person underneath all that tanner, bronzer, concealer, foundation, toner, shadow, blush, lip gloss, lip stick, mascara and whatever else she cakes on to step out of her hobbit hole. And that person is adorable. And 5 years old. [Refinery29]

- André Leon Talley thinks Republican candidate-in-training Rick Santorum is a dick and is not afraid to tweet about it. But in all fairness…Rick Santorum really is a huge dick. [Jezebel]

-  Emanuel Ungaro‘s really going through it. Not only is the label not showing its fall collection next month and cancelling its pre-fall show scheduled for next week, but it can’t fill orders for its spring collection either. [WWD]

- Brad Goreski revealed his latest gig via Twitter — she’s styling J. Brand‘s fall 2012 show. [StyleCaster]

- Just hours after debuting online, Versace for H&M’s Cruise Collection has already sold out. That is before it shows up later today on eBay. [Huff Po]

- Anna Dello Russo changes, at most, five times a day. Sometimes in the car, sometimes under André Leon Talley‘s great capes… [NYT]

- A new exhibit at the Denver Art Museum pays tribute to the legendary career of Yves Saint Laurent. [Fashionologie]

- Beyoncé‘s bootylicious Dereon derrière is the inspiration behind a breed of housefly that has a “glamorous golden rear end.” [Refinery 29]

- Meanwhile, newborn scion/old school playa Blue Ivy is the inspiration behind a strain of weed. Hova must be so proud. [Prefix]

- Umit Benan‘s fall 2012 show included, among other things, a naked male model taking a shower. And suddenly I care about Milan men’s fashion week. [The Cut]

- Angelina Jolie reportedly told husband Brad Pitt upon arriving at the Golden Globes: “You’re prettier than me.” #angiejolieproblems [The Cut]

"His look is an extremely conscious metaphor for his philosophy of fashion and life: Here, watch as I bring together the old, in my tall eighteenth-century collar and bizarre powdered hair, with the new, as seen in my ponytail and $2,500 Agatha leather pants, 'the most expensive leather pants in the world,' he declares, with a laugh exactly like Count Chocula's in its length and ridiculousness."

—on Karl Lagerfeld and how to craft a professional image from Karl Lagerfeld, Boy Prince of Fashion, Vanessa Grigoriadis

"There [at Vogue] Talley will sometimes perform a kind of boss-man theatre—throw papers about, slam telephones down, noisily expel the incompetent. 'This is too much. What story do we need to be working on, children? What story? Let's get cracking, darlings, on fur. Fuh, fuh, fuh. One must set the mood around the fuhand the heels, the hair, the skin, the nipples under the fuh, the hair around the nipples, the fuh clinging to the nipples, sweat, oysters, champagne, régence!' "

—on André Leon Talley and the importance of a strong work ethic from “The Only One,” The New Yorker, Hilton Als

"There's a stir at the entrance of the terminal as a silver Mercedes-Benz pulls up, followed by a minivan. Valentino emerges from the car in a Prince of Wales–plaid suit under a shearling coat, with a flowered scarf around his neck, and enters the terminal, walking slightly ahead of his retinue. His tan is rich and close in color to his chestnut-brown hair, which is blown out to immobile perfection. He has a warm smile and bright, heavy-lidded eyes, which are partially hidden behind rose-colored aviators. After he and Giammetti greet each other with a kiss on each cheek, we proceed to the airplane. Three buses are needed, one to move Valentino, Giammetti, and staff, another for luggage, and a third to transport five of Valentino's six pugs—Milton, Maude, Monty, Margot, and Molly."

—on Valentino Garavani and Giancarlo Giammetti’s love of economic travel from “So Very Valentino,” Vanity Fair, Matt Tyrnauer

"The morning of this summer's haute-couture show, Galliano put on a pair of carefully distressed bluejeans with perfectly frayed cuffs—which covered his sandals but not the toenails he had recently painted a glossy shade that he calls 'cosmic blue.' Galliano's personal hair-and-makeup team had been briefed in advance on the look he wanted to achieve, which was inspired by the evolution of dance. "I am feeling very Spanish tango dirty creepy with oily black hair," he said. His stylist got the message: he glued a stringy goatee onto Galliano's chin and trimmed it to a neat triangle; after that, he spent half an hour curling Galliano's hair and then applied a thick coat of mascara to the lashes beneath his dark-brown eyes."

—on John Galliano’s morning beauty regimen from "The Fantasist," The New Yorker, Michael Specter

"Balenciaga possibly thought that Dior got too much sheer pleasure out of high fashion, which in his own view was an art on a par with painting, sculpture, and architecture, to be taken with the utmost seriousness. It was not something in which you could faire le ponchinelle, 'do a Picasso' (in those days Picasso often called himself the 'clown of art'). But Balenciaga certainly did not regret the success of the new look. He was a businessman, and a very astute one, and he recognized that it had done wonders for the Parisian fashion industry and that everyone involved in it, himself perhaps most of all, had benefited from the publicity. He certainly did not see Dior as a rival, and he had no fear that his own claims to excellence would be overlooked. Dior dressed the rich, Balenciaga the very rich."

—on the fundamental difference between Cristóbal Balenciaga and Christian Dior from "Cut Against the Bias," This Recording, Paul Johnson

Go head, queens!

Link Love: Slate

Tapping his considerable resources, ALT has secured a gown worn by Oscar-winner Penélope Cruz to a Met Costume Institute Gala from Oscar de la Renta; a black  sequined wrap dress from Diane von Furstenberg; a coat trimmed with feathers and plastic fringe from Prada‘s fall 2007 collection; an evening column — what other kind of column is there? — from Tom Ford‘s first eponymous women’s collection; and a pair of blue satin Manolo Blahnik shoes from Sex and the City: The Movie.

In addition, the exhibit will include a video display showing Blahnik making milkshakes on The Martha Stewart Show, music from 2001: A Space Odyssey in the background and either Oscar de la Renta’s Live in Love or DVF’s Diane “wafting through the ventilation system.” But if you can’t make it down to Georgia for this multi-sensory experience, fret not. In December, Talley’s and de la Renta’s Joaquín Sorolla and the Glory of Spanish Dress will open at Manhattan’s Queen Sofia Spanish Institute.

And of course there’s always next year when you can apply for admission to ALTCADOYPF. [NYT]

There’s an André Leon Talley-esque character, clad in a Louis Vuitton cloak and a fairy godmother bearing a striking resemblance to Isaac Mizrahi in Swarovski crystal wings. I would assume Anna Wintour would be cast in the role of some sort of wicked witch, but Florio Kasouf’s memories of her are actually rather fond. The author recalls having her first lunch with the editrix at age 10:

“She asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I said, ‘I’m going to take your job.’ Apparently she had said the same thing early on in her life, so she thought it was cute.”

Yeah, Wintour thought it was real cute. Next thing Kelly knew she was being sent off to live with seven queens who looked for diamonds all day and ended up fighting for her young life after Anna, disguised in Yohji Yamamoto, fed her a poisoned stick of gum.

Anyhoo, The Adventures of Sophie will be sold exclusively at Barneys — naturally — but it being the future and all, there will also be an app for it. And they all lived fiercely ever after. [WWD]

Girls were screaming, flailing, falling and overacting all in an effort to rise to the challenge of shooting with one of the top posers in the game, but in the end Cycle 5′s Bree Scullark was dismissed. Her wailing and slapstick-like performance from the shoot ultimately turned off Tyra, Nigel, Coco and ALT but considering Bree’s one of the only Top Model girls who actually works, methinks she’ll be fine.

Photos: Styleite

Photo: Roxanne Lewitt / Obsession Photo

Ostroff will be Condé’s first president of entertainment as it hopes to ween the Nast off the teet of advertisers and start rolling in that Hollywood dough. Though projects like The September Issue and America’s Next Top Model, featuring a be-caped André Leon Talley, already give CN a multi-media presence, the publisher’s not getting any money from it. Which is where Ostroff comes in.

“This is all content that Condé Nast should be able to build a library with in some way — even if it’s in partnership with other companies,” said Ostroff. “It could mean films, it could mean documentaries, it could mean television shows, it could mean digital series or digital content, it could be digital channels. And it could be across all platforms: Cable channels, cable broadcast networks. It ranges across the board.”

In that case, allow me to pitch my first — of many — Condé Nast-themed shows. Picture it, The Golden Gossip Girls, starring Anna Wintour and Grace Coddington as Blair Waldorf and Serena Vanderwoodsen, respectively (naturally)…50 years in the future. It’s got Emmy written all over it…or at least People’s Choice Award scribbled somewhere on its side. [NYT, WWD]

Photo: Roxanne Lewitt / Obsession Photo

- The Mulleavy sisters realize their own style is boring and thus don’t design Rodarte for themselves. [Fashionista]

- Zach Galifianakis put down the bong long enough to design a handbag. Or maybe he just put the bong in the handbag. [Fashionista]

- Tom Ford‘s secretive spring 2012 show took place Sunday and while we have to wait for the photos to pop up — in a welcome change — at least one reporter’s not seeing the emperor’s new clothes. [The Cut]

- Among Franca Sozzani‘s many (?) fans: Anna Wintour, who claims Sozzani “completely and utterly understands that Vogue is about much more than editing a magazine every month.” [Time]

- Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis want you to know there were no dicks in a box — or boxes — between the two of them. [Just Jared]

- Away from the “chiffon trenches of fashion,” André Leon Talley finds solace upstate in Hastings-on-Hudson where his favorite store is The Container Store, in which he shops for paper “to wrap Whoopi Goldberg’s presents.” A normal life if there ever was one. [NYT]

11. University of Delaware Newark, DE

Campus Tour: The smallest state also has a small design program that is focused on quality garment making from every angle. The program follows a garment through its entire lifecycle, from the creative design and tailoring, to a focus on sustainably producing goods on both small and large scale in a socially and environmentally minded manner. An entirely student run fashion magazine, UDress, and fashion shows exist outside of class, working to show and pull fashion out of this college driven town.

Programs: Apparel Design, Merchandising, Sustainability

Student Body: 16,500

Tuition:  $27,000

Star Alumni: Well, me. And a fierce force that is the backbone of the garment industry.

Alexander McQueen

BEVERLY HILLS, CA - JANUARY 16: Actress Catherine Zeta-Jones arrives at the 68th Annual Golden Globe Awards held at The Beverly Hilton hotel on January 16, 2011 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images)

attends the "Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty" Costume Institute Gala at The Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 2, 2011 in New York City.

Rick Owens

Alber Elbaz

Lisa Immordino Vreeland, Diana’s granddaughter-in-law, directed the film Diana Vreeland: The Eye Has to Travel, debuting at the Venice Film Festival September 3rd, as well as wrote the similarly-titled coffee-table book, which hits bookstores October 1st.

Featuring contributions from everyone and their mother, including Calvin Klein, Oscar de la Renta, Hubert de Givenchy, Diane von Furstenberg, Richard Avedon, Anjelica Huston and Ali McGraw*, the film is Immordino Vreeland’s first:”As soon as I started research for the book, I said to myself, ‘I should be working on a documentary.’”

Elle Fanning - Elle Fanning is 13-year-old a goddess. After seeing her in this Valentino Fall 2010 Couture dress at this year’s Met Gala, glimmers of hope seeped through my retinas and into my brain. While watching her performance in Super 8, the deal was sealed – there are young, talented and beautiful young girls on the silver screen who have real talent, not just their knockers out for 15 minutes of fame.

arrives at the Vanity Fair Oscar party hosted by Graydon Carter held at Sunset Tower on February 27, 2011 in West Hollywood, California.

“His look is an extremely conscious metaphor for his philosophy of fashion and life: Here, watch as I bring together the old, in my tall eighteenth-century collar and bizarre powdered hair, with the new, as seen in my ponytail and $2,500 Agatha leather pants, ‘the most expensive leather pants in the world,’ he declares, with a laugh exactly like Count Chocula’s in its length and ridiculousness.”

—on Karl Lagerfeld and how to craft a professional image
from Karl Lagerfeld, Boy Prince of Fashion, Vanessa Grigoriadis

Klum’s got a panel of hair, beauty, makeup and fashion experts on board but we can expect a fitness, design, organization, “event planner” and “craft” expert to join in on the (something vaguely resembling) fun.

I didn’t even know I needed an event planner expert but I can always use some help with my craftin’. My allegiance, however, remains with Type F, because Tyra’s got the one expert I do need: André Leon Talley.

If Heidi had ALT yelling in her face about trench coats, I might change my mind. [The Cut]

Speaking with the New York Times, Gan said of Gaga:

“She’s got a lot to say. She’s got her own very personal, very special viewpoint that comes from a well-informed place. She is almost Vreeland-esque in her analysis and critique of fashion.”

Diana Vreeland was Vogue‘s editor in chief from 1963-1971 and is more or less responsible for the caped magnificence that is André Leon Talley.

So what does Gaga have to say? Well, in 1,445 words — that apparently did not require a lot of editing — the Lady basically wants to let you know that she knows her shit:

“I myself can look at almost any hemline, silhouette, beadwork or heel architecture and tell you very precisely who designed it first, what French painter they stole it from, how many designers reinvented it after them and what cultural and musical movement parented the birth, death and resurrection of that particular trend.”

She’s like fashion’s Rain Man, which I guess would make Nicola Formichetti her Tom Cruise…? [NYT]

I had the honor of meeting Stella McCartney before the event really started – the Liv of the party hadn’t arrived yet. Determined to talk to her, I persisted past the determinedly protective security PR and introduced myself. Nerves almost got the better of me as I toldher that while I’m a Fashion Editor, I’m also a designer and born Beatles fan. Her smile proved she is a kind, beautiful soul. Conversation ebbed into how when she first began, there was much hoopla surrounding her choice to be completely animal and eco friendly. It was such a bizarre choice 10 years ago. Now, designers are faced with the issue of how to make eco-friendliness a non-issue by just making it an innate part of the process and letting the clothing speak for itself.  After a minute’s time talking on sustainability with Stella McCartney, she got whisked away to retrieve Liv Tyler. Don’t fret – that was not the last she saw of me.

I thus busied myself with the touch of her squeezably soft wools, the gold wovens, and the cucumber cocktails until their return.

I eventually caught up with Liv Tyler and chatted up what we’re feeling in fashion right now, and of course about Stella. By the way, she is even more elegantly stunning in person than in any pictures or movies.

What trends are you loving this season?

“I would say I’m very not hip to knowing what’s in because I only follow my heart, what I like. I don’t keep up with [magazines]. I read magazines when I can, and I see pieces when I walk by them in a store. I have more of a specific eye when it comes to [shopping]. Like, I could come to this place and in about 4 minutes I could say exactly what I want and how I would put it together.”

What is your heart saying for fashion right now, within yourself?

“I’m really happy to be in this [Stella McCartney] dress. I feel like a fem-bot. Everything’s in place.  I’m really happy in it right now. Too bad I can only wear it once because I had my picture taken in it about 300 times.”

I think we all feel that way with Facebook. That’s why I like separates.

“I love separates. I live in Wolford tights and Lanvin flats. And then whatever else I can come up with. I really love shorts and rompers, but with tights. Little skirts and blouses and t-shirts. I definitely like separates right now.”

How much Stella do you think you have in your closet?

“Not a crazy amount, but the pieces last forever. They don’t go away. I have a couple of jackets that I’ve had for 6 years. I have a suit from when she was at Chloé. They’re so well made and so chic and powerful that they transcend trends… I always feel like it’s the grownup in me. I have all these different sections of my closet. The one section where most of my Stella things are, is for when I have a meeting, or when I want to feel like a woman.”

Now there’s no way I would have left without saying so long to Stella. And I wanted to get a quote for my all my Indies. At the end of a press line longer than the train on André Leon Talley‘s Met Gala gown, I squeezed in, nearly glamouring the PR that just kicked three girls off the line ahead of me, and got to ask one question. Here goes:

I was just writing today about how important the oversized blazer is.

“Oh, cool!”

I wanted to know how you came up with it. What’s your reasoning behind it?

“I guess I’m always borrowing my boyfriend’s jackets, and it’s… my husband, sorry! It just gives a bit more attitude.”

So maybe I made her a little tongue tied, too? Regardless, Stella McCartney is a graceful and talented woman who has not only come from great legacy, but is creating her own.

< > at Saks Fifth Avenue on May 4, 2011 in New York City.

- André Leon Talley ranks Beyoncé in Emilio Pucci as his best dressed from the Met Gala last night, though he modestly put himself at the lowly position at #12 when in reality he was the only lady to really turn it out on that carpet. [Vogue]

- Livia Firth, wife of this year’s Best Actor Oscar winner Colin Firth, had a meeting in the ladies room at the Met Ball with Stella McCartney, Lauren Hutton, Yoko Ono, Salma Hayek, Rihanna and Hilary Alexander and was gracious enough to tweet pics of it. [Refinery29]

- Mert & Marcus by Mert & Marcus. [Fashion Gone Rogue]

- John Galliano fired his lawyer, Stephane Zerbib over “apparent irregularities in respect of his firms administration of Galliano’s financial affairs over a number of years.” Sounds like someone had their hand in the couture cookie jar. [Vogue UK]

- Her Royal Highness the Duchess of Cambridge, also known to commoners as Kate Middleton, wore White Gardenia Petals by Illuminum on her special day, thus ensuring that White Gardenia Petals by Illumnum will sell-out in a matter of minutes. [Grazia]

- Joining La Jolie on the Do-Good Express is great-caped crusader André Leon Talley who describes his efforts thusly: “I do make trips to the Dumpster. And I am proud of that because it’s far from my house. But I make a special effort to go to the Dumpster and put the cardboard with the cardboard, and plastic with the plastics.” Mother Teresa who? [The Cut]

- Supermodels just can’t keep it in their pants these days. And by it I mean their nuptials. Anja Rubik will be the next catwalker to jump the broom and, in typical model fashion, will wear Pucci when she marries longtime boyfriend Sasha Knezevic in July. [Fashionologie]

- The Black Eyed Peas have finally realized what I’ve been saying for years: “My Humps” is a god awful song. [The Boombox]

- Libyan president and noted fashion plate Muammar Gadaffi apparently wants his own exhibit at the Met’s Costume Institute. Muammar Gaddafi: Savage Beauty? [Styleite]

- Dior will debut a few dresses from its upcoming couture and/or Spring 2012 collections at the Cannes Film Festival when French actress Melanie Laurent wears the iconic label to the fest’s opening and closing ceremonies. [Elle]

- Grace Coddington‘s 70th birthday was a who’s who of fashion royalty, with a guest list including Anna Wintour, Marc Jacobs, Naomi Campbell, Oscar de la Renta, Calvin Klein, Annie Leibovitz,  Helmut Lang, André Leon Talley, Liya Kebede, Karen Elson, Stefano Pilati, Hamish Bowles, Karlie Kloss, Nicolas Ghesquière, Bruce Weber, Patrick Demarchelier, Vera Wang, Edward Enninful, Riccardo Tisci, Jack McCollough and Lazaro Hernandez from Proenza Schouler and Laura and Kate Mulleavy from Rodarte. Twas clearly a magical night, as evidenced by this photo of Anna having what appears to be…a good time:

There but for the Grace of Coddington go I. [Styleite]

- Another image has “leaked” from Beyoncé‘s video shoot — either B has awful security or we’re just the pawns in her little chess game of pop supremacy…either way I couldn’t care less because she’s wearing Alexander McQueen. [Red Carpet Fashion Awards]

1. Anna Dello Russo, Editor-at-Large, Vogue Nippon

Style: “Balls to the Couture Wall”

2. Shala Monroque, Editor-at-Large, Pop

Style: “Hip Gal About Town”

3. Anna Wintour, Editor-in-Chief, Vogue

Style: “Baddest Bitch in the Game”

4. André Leon Talley, Contributing Editor, Vogue

Style: “Great-cape Expectations”

5. Carine Roitfeld, former Editor-in-Chief, Vogue Paris

Style: “Parisian Perfection”

6. Giovanna Battaglia, Fashion Editor, L’Uomo Vogue

Style: “City Sleeker”

7. Hamish Bowles, Editor-at-Large, Vogue

Style: “Dandy Does It”

8. Lauren Santo Domingo, Contributing Editor, Vogue

Style: “New Yorker State of Mind”

9. Glenda Bailey, Editor-in-Chief, Harper’s Bazaar

Style: “Tea Time with the Tudors”

10. Stefano Tonchi, Editor-in-Chief, W

Style: “Gentleman’s Agreement”

What would a Tyra production be without Tyra taking the opportunity to chew so much scenery even Bette Davis would ask her to reign it in a little? Luckily La Banks does not disappoint and gives a very literal interpretation of the LBD’s versatility with an extended multiple personality disorder metaphor, that is until André mercifully puts her down. No one’s ever going to give Tyra an Oscar, but god bless her for tryin’ — although I did say the same thing about the Emmys.…

Next thing you know Tyra’s experiencing what I’ve only dreamed about every night since I was 14 — André Leon Talley screaming in my face in French.

Then she sits on his lap and he tells her a little haute couture bedtime story, which begins thusly: “The Little Black Dress will take you throughout your entiiiiiiire life.” Fasten your seatbelts, we’re going on a sartorial journey! Mama Bear continues,”When you have doubts, you just go back to that Little Black Dress, wear that and you will be safe.” That is unless you encounter a wolf in cheap clothing.

On this magical journey, ALT also imparts some wholesome lessons for the kids:

- how to properly pronounce Givenchy. Not “GA’-VEN-TCH” but “ZHEEvonSHAAAY.”

- Coco Chanel created the little black dress in 1926

- you shouldn’t call her Coco, but Gabrielle, if you’re feeling respectful

- And perhaps the most important lesson, the Word of the Day, dreckitude: The lowest point in the lowest ebb. The lowest of the lows. See also:

And despite this “ultimate little black don’t,” we all lived Happily Ever After.

Link Love: Fa-Fa-Fa Fashion

Check out the top 5 posers and vote for your favorite on Facebook! The winner gets a spread in Italian Vogue, a $100,000 contract with IMG and a medallion made of Swarovski crystals and various semi-precious metals with “Baddest Bitch” engraved on it.*

*Or something along those lines.

This first episode explores the versatility of the trench coat and André lays down the law while cradling baby Tyra on his Chado Ralph Rucci-cape-covered knee:

A: When you put on a coat you suggest high-octane mystery.

T: But why not put on a pea coat or a–

A: TOOOO SHOOOORT!

Next Tyra gives advice on how to JAZZ UP a trench coat and for any advice regarding the jazzing up of anything I am strictly ON. BOARD.

She suggests a wide cincher belt that she wants you to know — by yelling it over and over again — that it costs $12 at Payless. Doesn’t it feel good? And by wearing said trench with a statement necklace you’ll add a “little sex appeal” as well as some “snap and sass.” Finally zhush those sleeves and suddenly your trench has gone from “blah” to “Rrrr”  – it’s like Tyra is the poet laureate of our generation. Her or Nicky Minaj…

Anyway, André — sensing a lull — returns to discuss the history of the trench coat with Tyra still on his lap and along the way we’re introduced to the Word of the Day, “kicky.”

T: What is a kicky?
A: KICKY IS UP!  YOU’RE UP! YOU’RE UP! KICK! KICK! KICK! UP! UP! UP!

Scratch that, ALT’s had a choke hold on poet laureate since the 80s.

Finally we’re left with a disturbing conversation about whether ALT grooms “down there” — for the record he does not and for the record I feel as scarred as a child who first learns their parents have sex.

I just thought there was a secret portal into a magical haute couture world where Anna Wintour and Grace Coddington argue all day under all those capes…thanks Tyra.

Though I’m totally signing up for Type F now…mostly because she told me to.

Shot by Ellen Von Unwerth, Tyra took time out of her busy smizing schedule to write the accompanying story. Ann looks incredible and brought that weird, angular posing that kept her at the head of the Top Model pack to the pages of Italian Vogue. All Ann needs now is a few high profile runways next season and she’ll land the cover by the end of the year. So ALT speaketh, so shall it be.

Photos: Stylite

The fashion Industry was in uproar last week after John Galliano was dismissed as Creative Director from Christian Dior following numerous anti-Semitic allegations made against the designer. Galliano has denied all allegations made against him and claimed that he is of partial Jewish ancestry, although this has not been verified. The dismissal on 1^st March came immediately following the release of a video clip of the designer, who was unquestionably inebriated, stating, “I love Hitler”.

When I first heard the news and watched the video post that was made public over the World Wide Web, I was unsurprised by his behavior and by the reaction from Dior.

I was introduced to the designer after the 2009 Spring-Summer Haute Couture Dior show, in January 2009 and while he was polite, my lasting impressions of him were not favorable. I found him to have a thick and unattractive façade. It has long been known within the fashion industry that Galliano was prone to living a hedonistic lifestyle that resulted in drink and drug related addictions and although it seemed he had been clean for some time, there were rumors circulating that he had relapsed, partly due to the pressure of producing 12 collections a year. He was responsible for six collections for Dior, including the bi-annual Haute Couture, and six collections for his own label. Recent speculation that he had been increasingly less involved with the design process for Dior over the past few years was also starting to emerge.

Christian Dior is the largest holding company within LVMH (Louis Vuitton Moet Hennessy) the world’s leading luxury goods conglomerate. Billionaire financier, Bernard Arnault owns 48% of LVMH and in turn, the company, which creates billions of dollars in revenue every year, can easily afford to ensure video clips such as these never see the light of day. Yet, on this occasion, they chose not to.

The fact that Dior fired the designer so promptly, confirmed a personal prediction that the company had been looking for a way to let him go for some time due to repeated displays of inappropriate behavior. The leaked footage, which was not the first of its kind, was the final piece of evidence needed to terminate their chief designer without a pay off that would have been in the region of $25 million.

After all, Christian Dior was established as a couture house post World War II and was considered to represent a new beginning. Given this legacy, Galliano’s comments were as much anti-Dior as they were anti-Semitic.

While I accept that there are people in this world who, through lack of education or for their own reasons, are racially intolerant, Galliano’s words were inarguably appalling. However, given the encouragement from the amateur filmmaker, on this occasion, they may well have been for shock value. Galliano’s personality, like his work, is known for being theatrical and provocative. Even accepting this possibility, one can’t help but wonder what might have been behind his hateful comments. In the video, Galliano tells the woman, “You are ugly”. Since the designer does not possess model good looks himself, most viewers have inferred that his remarks were an attempt to cover his deep-rooted depression and insecurity.

More than the reason behind the tirade, I have been intrigued by the mixed reactions. Academy Award winning actress, Natalie Portman, who had an endorsement contract with Dior for its fragrance Miss Dior Chérie, made this statement, “I am deeply shocked and disgusted by the video of John Galliano’s comments. I hope at the very least, these terrible comments remind us to reflect upon these prejudices that are the opposite of all that is beautiful.”

Meanwhile, costume designer Patricia Field, defended Galliano’s tirade as being “misunderstood theatre.” While there are mixed opinions within the fashion elite, many insiders have refused to comment, other than to suggest, “It is a shame.” I was interested to pinpoint what precisely people felt was a shame. Is it the fact that he is no longer Creative Director of Dior? Or that he would make such remarks? A general consensus seemed to indicate that editors felt it was a shame this incident had tarred the fashion Industry while Karl Largerfeld stated, “It is a horrible image for fashion.”

While it clearly isn’t a positive reflection, I hardly feel that the general public looks upon the directors of the fashion world as saintly. For many outsiders, who have never met a designer in their life, the closest image they have to relate to, are the characters from ‘The Devil Wears Prada.’

Rather more, because of this attention, accounts of Galliano’s achievements have been highlighted in the media. Galliano’s design talents were noted at a young age, while he was still a student at Central Saint Martin’s College in London where he graduated with a first class honors degree. His first collection, inspired by the French Revolution, was bought by London boutique, Browns. Shortly after, he was able to start his own label. A few seasons later, he moved to Paris, where his talents were recognized by Anna Wintour and Andre Leon Talley. In 1995 he was appointed as the designer for Givenchy, also part of LVMH, and within two years, he replaced Gianfranco Ferre as the chief designer at Christian Dior. Many have cited his great attention to detail as playing a large factor in his success.

Galliano’s suspension came before he was able to complete work on the Dior Autumn/Winter 2011/2012 Collection. Consequently, the Paris Fashion Week show, held last Friday, was preceded by a formal announcement from Dior Chairman, Sidney Toledano, confirming the termination and apologizing on behalf of the company, for Galliano’s comments. Since the designer was not present, the final walk was taken by the Dior atelier, walking out to a standing ovation from the tearful audience.

Over the past few years, Dior has produced some incredible collections, notably in 2008 and 2009. Dresses that are timelessly chic and reminiscent of Dior’s famous New Look. This last collection could not have been more different. It was a tribute production, characteristically John Galliano, with the first model wearing a long cape and tall boots, looking distinctively like the designer himself. Could Galliano have known this would be his last collection for the label?

While I consider that a possibility, I do not share the view that many seem to have taken that this is the end of the road for him professionally. He has reportedly now checked into a rehabilitation facility in Phoenix, which will hopefully give him the opportunity to address his inner demons. This is exactly where he needs to be right now. Many in the fashion Industry may be fair weather friends, but there are equally as many who I am sure will be there to offer him the strength and encouragement that he so obviously needs.

While emotions are running high, many are speaking as if he has retired or worse, as if he has died. I would not be so quick to write him off. Audiences love a comeback and I have every faith that Galliano is capable of quite the encore.

As he faces trial from both Paris Police and from public opinion, reporters are already speculating as to who will take over as chief designer of Dior. One name being repeatedly mentioned is Riccardo Tisci, the current Creative Director at Givenchy. No doubt, this will be an extremely well considered decision. As it stands, LVMH stock has been strong for the past year and there has not been a noticeable decrease in value over the past week. If anything, stock value is more likely to be affected by the current rising price of oil than a changeover of staff. To put it succinctly, Dior was strong before Galliano and will continue to be, long after Galliano.

Post written by Kirsten Lea & Watch the Video’s Here

Lovefest

1. Free drinks. Every liquor company and their alcoholic grandmother jumps at the chance to booze up the myriad parties offered during the week. It’s so easy to get hammered with only a few singles in your pocket —  for the obliging bartender who  basically holds the fate of your night in their clammy little hands. A tip goes a long way…that’s what she said.

2. Networking. As “fashion people,” we some times get to feeling like carnie folk — those weird kids everyone looks at with a mix of puzzlement and disdain. So it’s inspiring to meet other freaks and weirdos who are as unafraid of a statement headpiece and are also unabashedly fabulous. That and you never know from where or whom your next job opportunity may come.

3. So close and yet so far. Any one can buy a magazine and see the latest campaigns or editorials, but being able to see a designer’s collection relatively up close and personal is an unmatched experience. It gives the whole fashion thing a realness, a tangibility, that is impossible to gain from a few glossy pages.

4. Chance encounters. I saw Anna Wintour for the first time ever. It’s always been a badly kept secret of mine to see the Queen — so many of my friends have and I felt left out of the loop. Then on my way to Kimberly Ovitz‘s presentation, there she was — just a few feet from me. Cross one thing off my bucket list. Hopefully  next season I’ll get to lunch with André Leon Talley and get high with Tavi.

5. Dressing up in your love. Each day is your own personal fashion show. Laboring over the right look is given extra weight with the slew of bloggers, photogs and paparazzi hunkered down outside Lincoln Center ready to snap your photo if you catch their fancy. When going to work, you…better….werq.

Haterade

1. Poseurs. There are people who love fashion and are content with standing in the back of a fashion show — they’re just happy to be there. Seeing a fashion show in person may be a dream come true or seeing  a particular show may be a source of inspiration. Then there are those people who just want to be seen. Which is fine…but take your shitshow to the after party and give the rest of us some space.

2. Standing in lines.  There’s a lot of entitlement on both sides of the velvet rope. I, personally, don’t do lines unless they’re presented to me on a clean, flat surface with pre-rolled Franklin. But I’m a nobody — a fabulous nobody, yes — and will stand if and only if I must. Which gets me to…

3. Attitude at the door. This is where the entitlement crosses lines. I’m sure doormen get their share of attitude from purported somebodies and to even the score they turn it right back onto unsuspecting nobodies, like myself. But a party is a party, a show is a show, it’s not life or death. Would it be too much to ask for a little courtesy? Oh, right, it would, because we’re in New York. Nevermind.

4. Transportation. Between being stuck in traffic while cabbing it from X to Z, or being stuck underground in the subway between A and D, there’s no winning when it comes to getting around the city during Fashion Week. Bitches be stealing your cabs, cab drivers openly ignore you and the subway system shuts down at the mere whisper of a storm. Some times it’s best to strap up those Giuseppe Zanottis and just hoof it.

5. The bathrooms at Lincoln Center. Maybe we are carnie folk after all since the bathrooms at Lincoln Center are basically Porta-Potties with a curtain thrown over the door. Try keeping your Prada from touching the floor while between shows.

attends the Oscar De La Renta Spring 2010 fashion show at 583 Park Avenue on September 16, 2009 in New York City.

attends the Oscar De La Renta Spring 2010 fashion show at 583 Park Avenue on September 16, 2009 in New York City.

The name and collection takes inspiration from the ancient practice of African tribal scarification, a method of tribal identification that dates back thousands of years.

Plange, a native of Ghana, set out to translate this form of body modification into her designs with the help of André Leon Talley, who generously helped her edit the collection.

Backstage the designer expressed a desire for the clothes to act like armor, which was perfectly illustrated in a black sculptural gown in silk gazaar that would not look out of place on a Dior Haute Couture runway.

Other highlights included a cape (I am always a sucker for a cape, as is ALT) in a combination of wool, cotton, mohair and leather; a two-tone felt dress beaded with Swarovski crystals; and a showstopping, detail-rich satin gabardine dress with ruffled pleats.

The tribal scarification theme could be seen in many of the looks’ tough but feminine textures.  However, Mimi Plange’s “Scarred Perfection” came off perfectly unmarred.

Couture – “Calling something ‘couture’ doesn’t make it hand-sewn or high class.” No, it certainly doesn’t, that’s why you should just call it Trash, then call it a day.

Statement outfits - “Does your clothing speak louder than words?” My clothing is usually screaming; if not for attention, at least for spare change. And though these creations make a statement, they also raise numerous questions, hence a Dubious outfit.

Smoldering – “O.K., your makeup is hot. Your outfit is hotter. You are about to combust. We get it.” I’ve actually never heard/seen anyone use this term when not referring to coals or an STD, but I’ll trust the Times (this once) and suggest we toss a match on that smoldering outfit and make it Flaming (which is usually reserved for the gays).

Fashionista – “The word has gone from describing a class of urban style-conscientious sophisticates to becoming a lazy and cheap byword for anyone with a modicum of taste.” Let’s not forget the further cheapening of the word after it was co-opted by a certain bargain-priced chain of department stores. Let’s just do away with the term all together since it’s lost all reverence and use it ironically to describe…oh, I don’t know…Maxxinistas.

Geek-chic -” In 2010, anyone who sported thick-framed glasses, cardigans and T-shirts with nerdy references was instantly labeled ‘geek-chic.’” I love geeks as much as the next gal, but their purported style is basically that of an old man. So let’s call a spade a spade and rename this trend Geriatric-chic, Geriatrique for short.

D.I.Y. fashion – “It’s not always necessary to knit your own mittens.” Unless you actually have a talent for sewing or construction, you’re not fooling anyone and this is just plain old Laziness.

Well-edited - “This replaced ‘curated’ to describe any collection chosen with a sharp eye.” Why not go a step further and use specific editors; whose sharp eye best described this collection? Well-Wintoured? Well-Coddingtoned? Well-Leon Tallied? Well-Sozzanied? Well-Roitfeld’d? Okay, maybe not the last one…

Mash-up: “Used to describe looks that blend multiple influences…” though not all looks blend their influences well. Those particular mash-ups are just a Hot Tranny Mess.

Hopefully these and other terms will catch on and peter out so quickly that words will no longer be used to describe fashion and we’ll reserve a series of grunts, facial expressions and elaborate movements to replace them.

Oh my god, your outfit is so *wild flailing arms followed by feigned dry heaving*!

Photo/Link Love: NY Times

For the sake of tradition, I’ll just recount all my gifts in order of quantity, from more to less (you can set it to the tune of “The 12 Days of Christmas” if you are so inclined:

12 Chanel hair-bows

11 Prada clogs

10 Marc Jacobs trousers

9 Balenciaga platform heels

8 Tom Ford gropings

7 Terry Richardson gropings

6  Nude male models (being groped by Tom Ford and Terry Richardson)

5 André Leon Talley capes

4 Dior couture gowns

3 Anna Wintour bobs

2 McQueen armadillo heels

And a Prius driven by Oprah and Gayle

What can I say, I’m a lucky girl.

Photo: Today’s Inspiration

1. The Fur Coat (preferably over a bikini) – Fur is an absolute necessity come winter and it’s so warm that you can wear anything underneath it. So why not throw on your favorite maillot, two-piece or speedo to sex up that dead animal carcass draped around your shoulders. Or if that’s not your cup of vodka, there’s always the reliable fur bikini: the perfect melding of two disparate worlds into one completely unnecessary garment.

Raquel Welch, fur bikini pioneer

2. The Union Suit – This practical one-piece, usually intended as an undergarment, is easily translatable to chic outerwear. Just think of it as another fashion-forward jumpsuit with adjustable decolletage: you can unbutton to collarbone, ribcage or navel level. And if you’re feeling especially frisky, undo the butt flap to reveal something chic…or something cheek.

3. The Muff – Basically a giant portable sleeve, the muff is perfect for concealing a compact, a lipstick or my favorite accessory, a purse gun. It’s the lady’s way of smuggling contraband while keeping those murderous manicured nails warm and unchipped.

4. The Trapper Hat – While your hands look like they are covered by a pillow in a muff, your head can look like a family of raccoons made a nest then subsequently died on it with the irresistibly comfortable trapper hat.

5. The Cape - Capes aren’t just for vampires, superheroes and drag queens (my own personal superheroes) – they’re a sleeveless alternative to a boring old coat and come in a variety of shapes, lengths and materials. And also come in handy when pretending to be a vampire/superhero/drag queen…or the resulting combination, André Leon Talley.

6. The Cowl – The cowl is my preferred method of neck warmth, not that  I have anything against a scarf. After all, you can’t dramatically throw a cowl around your neck for a scene-stealing exit, but it’s charm is in its ease and functionality. Just slip your head through one end and burrow your way through to the other. It’s like birth without all that unpleasant vagina action.

7 . Opera Gloves – This last staple is for those strapless fancy nights on the town spent dancing, boozing and schmoozing, since no one goes to the opera anymore. Adorn them with bracelets, cuffs and whatever diamonds you can smuggle in your muff to ratchet up the glamour.

And there you have it. If you have at least some of these items in your closet, this winter might not seem as bleak nor chill as many bones. And if you need any more incentive, you’ll probably save a clutch purse of dough on Halloween.

Julie Christie and Omar Sharif from "Dr. Zhivago"

LINK LOVE: Just Jared

Anna Wintour, for fear of being trampled, used her bob as a shield and stole away under the aegis of André Leon Talley‘s greatcoat.

Not gonna lie to you, I’ve been slacking on my ANTM. Not because I’ve tired of seeing girls who will never, ever, ever be a top model being humiliated week after week by Tyra Banks and my illegitimate father, André Leon Talley.

I mean, that show is schadenfreude at its best.

No, rather, I simply forget when and where it’s on, which is understandable as I often forget when and where I am on a regular basis.

However, now that I know this nonsense is going on, I will make a definite point to catch up and tune in regularly.

Who in gay hell has a conveyor belt on a runway?

American fashion editors in France for Paris Fashion Week could care less when they heard that terrorist groups are planning an attack in Europe. And many of them said it to WWD:

“Our plans are remaining the same as of now,” said Vogue editor in chief Anna Wintour. “We’ve talked about it, sure,” said Robbie Myers, editor in chief, Elle U.S. “You know, when you have this many people this close together all the time, things get a little hysterical. That’s the thing about terrorism. It’s terrifying. It sounds like a cliché. There’s not a person I’ve talked to for whom it hasn’t stirred those feelings right after 9/11, you know, sort of watchful, and trying to rationalize your behavior.”

“We’ll try not to panic and do our jobs,” said Glamour editor in chief Cindi Leive, who said the magazine would not change its plans for coverage of Paris Fashion Week. She noted, however, she would advise “a couple of editors who are taking public transportation to probably ease up on that.”

“I think should any member of our team who wants to go home, I’d be happy for them to do so. We have a job to do and we’re getting on with it,” said Glenda Bailey, Harper’s Bazaar editor in chief.

Seems a little nonchalant to the threat of bombs on the runway, but I guess the response makes sense for a group so married to their work.

“And darling that Birkin looks fabulous, but it’s just a dead cow.” You can watch the video here.

LINK LOVE: Racked

Fashion’s Night Out has given me one more reason to highly anticipate its imminent arrival. Or rather two, in the form of these Anna Wintour and Grace Coddington rag dolls, by Brooklyn-based artist Andrew Yang.

Barney’s commissioned the dolls, which were hand sewn and painted over the course of two weeks and they will be auctioned off starting Aug. 31 through charitybuzz.com. All proceeds benefit The New York City Aids Fund.

Bravo.

Meanwhile, where’s the Andre Leon Talley doll? Yang says that Anna’s and Grace’s looks were both his “own take on their signature look.” I guess it would’ve taken too long and too much material to throw together a Chado Ralph Rucci mini-great coat and cerulean Gucci loafers.

But I still would have appreciated an attempt.

LINK LOVE: http://tmagazine.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/08/27/all-dolled-up/

Adds Gunn: “I ran to the window to see if they would put her down on the sidewalk or carry her to the car like that. They carried her to the car. And I thought: I will never for get this.”

On Andre Leon Talley, Tim Gunn tells of a time they shared a panel discussion at the New York Public Library.

Gunn writes: “When we return to the green room, we see that someone has spread a translucent barber’s bib over Andre and he’s reclining, his arms at his sides. He’s being fed grapes and cubes of cheese one by one, like a bird in a nest.

Vogue claims Gunn is a big fat liar who get’s paid by Elle to talk shit about the magazine. Just joking, but seriously it wouldn’t surprise me. Any thoughts on Anna and Andre’s not at all surprising behavior.

“McQueen was considered royalty in the fashion community. I feel like a queen whenever I wear his clothes ” – Tyra Banks

“We (speaking of Philip Treacy) had not hugged since Isabella Blow‘s funeral three years ago, and he shared fabulous news: He has a producer to do a film on Isabella, and Galliano has already confirmed to play himself. Who will play Isabella? Treacy has a great trick up his hat, and it’s going to rock the world, but he cannot reveal it until this major new talent confirms.” -Andre Leon Talley

LINK LOVE: Vogue.com

Crystal Renn walked twice, confirming rumors, for the Chanel Cruise collection presented yesterday in St. Tropez. Georgia May Jagger ended the show on a motorcycle. Also in appearance, Karolina Kurkova who walked barefoot, and Andre Leon Talley who almost stole the show in a giant green cape.

LINK LOVE: NY Mag