Jorge Alexander from Germany,  Jorge Alexander

Krystal Johnson from NYC,  High Off Fashion

Sarah Banks from NYC, Sarah Banks Hartshorne

A big congratulations to our winners and a big thank you to everyone who submitted  an entry. Stay tuned because Fashion Indie has great contest coming up including Show Your Best Skin & Win.

A lawsuit filed was filed here in Manhattan by Nicholas Hamman-Howe who alleges that Marin offered to make him a star in exchange for sex favors. Isn’t that the age old tagline. “Do for me  and I’ll make you a star.” Welcome to the industry people! I totally don’t condone this behavior but C’ MON!

Not going to lie this may or may not be true but it’s super likely. On the other hand it might just be a nobody model who’s upset he didn’t sleep with Nole in the first place. Maybe Tyra can intervene.

But the contestants on America’s Next Top Model try their very best to look good while pretending to take down members of Lucha va Voom, a type of Mexican Mask wrestling.

LINK LOVE: Styleite

Seriously, this one rendered well enough on film that it could pass for tight black pants and a black shirt. Granted, my camera might just be very forgiving, but as jumpsuits go, this one embarrasses no one, except in the larger sense of being part of this conversation at all.

On the second day of Banksmas, my Tyra gave to me: sleeves that are fake-eyelashy.

Love the color, hate the capri length, think her hips deserve better than the bunching, and wish someone had arrested the purveyor of this jumpsuit with the handcuffs TyTy has around her right wrist.

On the ninth day of Banksmas, my Tyra gave to me: a suit last seen on Blake Lively.

Here's the thing, TB: While it's probably an ego-boost that you and a 22-year old shop in the same jumpsuit emporium — a place I think we can all agree is called Loonitard — Blake has it over you in that she found a way to keep her bust supported in that thing without actually SHOWING it. And while part of me applauds you for understanding that a little bust-hugging was required here — there is no shame in it — I do think this problem could've been solved by, say, wearing something else. It's like New York City: I get that they can't do the construction without the scaffolding, but that doesn't mean I'm psyched about having to LOOK at it all the time. 

On the tenth day of Banksmas, my Tyra gave to me: an ill-advised waggling booty.

It is hard to judge this objectively, because I know what this jumpsuit did to Miss Tyra. Yes, its slickery blue liquidity and its desperately ’80s puffed sleeves are a problem, but the worst part is how it betrayed Lady Bankable when she busted out the humpty-hump:

Do not wear this jumpsuit, America, if you suspect you might try and get freaky with your desk. You might say, “But Heather, how could Tyra have KNOWN she was going to do the booty dance?” To which I reply, if you were down to your last dollars, and Vegas was giving odds on whether Tyra would shake it on ANTM that night, I’d advise you to bet it all. She LOVES the booty dance and its various incarnations. Knowing that, Tyra really ought to do herself a favor and practice it in her dressing room before they start taping. Polterwang is an insidious beast, and the best prevention comes from preparation.

On the eleventh day of Banksmas, my Tyra gave to me: a monument to smurf geometry. 

This was Tyra’s big finale jumpsuit. When I saw the top half, I said, “Oh HELL YES,” and then we saw the whole thing, and yes, it’s bad, but I almost prayed that each leg would flare out to a width matching that enormous bodice. This is bad. I wanted an atrocious nightmare that would both plague my brain and entice the Blue Man Group to take a concubine.

On the twelfth day of Banksmas, my Tyra gave to me: stabby stabby punchy stabby.

Easily my least favorite of the bunch, this is a cousin to the black Blake Lively bra-baring blight, crossed with the HGH-infused love child of a memory-foam mattress pad and a pair of panty-hose, and then sewn by Lady Gaga’s six-year old niece after accidentally drinking some of dad’s scotch. This should have been, by all rights, the finale outfit. THIS should have been the crowning fuggery in a season of remarkable achievements in the jumpsuit sciences. And in my head, this is, indeed, what Tyra wore as she rode off into the sunset of ANTM Cycle 14, astride J. Alexander. 

I will miss this cornball gimmick. We laugh because we love, you know? For next cycle, may I suggest high-waisted pants that creep further and further north until at final judging the button is in the middle of her forehead? Thanks in advance.

LINK LOVE:The Twelve Fugsuits of Banksmas

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This is a bold statement that I’m about to make, but I think it’s one that needs to be said…Nicole Fox may be the only winner from ANTM who actually looks like she could be a decent model.The show is extremely entertaining, but I stand by my statement that they aren’t the greatest at selecting true “model” bodies for the show.

Moving on, here are some test shots for Nicole Fox’s portfolio at Wilhelmania.

LINK LOVE: Oh No They Didn’t

I’m always surprised at how busy and nutty-acting everyone gets during Fashion Week prep. Everyone is in a huff. I’ve seen a lot of models in Soho, they’re almost all in huffs. Except for the “It” models, you know like Ash and Jethro. I bet they’re never in anything like a huff, they’re only in magazines. Is Cole Mohr still “It”?

Anyway, I got invited to the model casting for Duckie Brown. It made me feel a little special, but whenever I told anyone they sort of laughed. Everyone thought I was trying out to be a model, I wasn’t. Duckie wanted me there to cast models, and pretend to DJ. I really like pretending.

It was self-defeating though. The casting, I mean.  I was the short, pasty, black-clad kid with grandma glasses and bad hair. Everyone around me was 6 foot tall, healthy, fit, and beautiful. It was awful, and amazing. Amazing because they were changing and naked and trying on great clothes.

Two boys I party with came on a go-see. Is that an official term? Go-see? Or did Tyra make that up for America’s Next Top Model? But, right, Jace and Harvey came on a go-see. It was nice seeing them out and about during the day. And I think both of them were cast, because they have amazing walks and are so handsome.

Oh. Did anyone see that Craiglist missed connection from Tuesday? A friend posted it to my Facebook. I think someone I know, a boy, gave a man a blowjob at the Box while his girlfriend watched. It all happened on the balcony, I mean, I must have been a few feet away. Was it you? Tell me the truth. I need the scoop.

I think it’s a good nightlife when things like this can still happen. It reminds me of Studio 54.

It’s so sad that the Ruff Club is ending. I don’t know what else to say. It’s the end of an era, or something. There’s a rumor that Peaches Geldof and Jethro Cave will be there. That they’re going to DJ. I love Nick Cave, and his son Jethro is amazing. I didn’t know that Peaches is still around. Can I have her job? What is her job?

P.S.

I forgot to mention I met Christopher Sauve and Julia Frakes yesterday while creeping Soho with Alex. Chris was the nicest, like so pleasant. Julia was a button, but I kind of think I squeezed her hand too hard. Alex thought her pants were a great Beacon’s find, but of course they were Erin Wasson. Nicollette said Julia was a downtown luminary.

I guess she must be if she’s curating a collection at Screaming Mimi’s for Fashion’s Night Out. I’m jealous, wish I was curating a collection.

Did you know that even the Disney Channel changes its New York programming before and during Fashion Week? I told you, nutty-acting. Everyone.