Not only did the show begin with a montage of “Kardashian-Humphries Divorce” clips and headlines, it opened up with an ominous “8 months earlier” stamp across the screen, securing the fact that this entire season is going to be a documentation on the downfall of the $18 million bride.  But have no fear, its not all Return to Depression Mountain here, because of the show’s saving grace: Baby Mason (aka the happiest baby in the world).

He’s adorably well dressed, knows how to dip his french bread in olive oil, and does classy toddler appropriate things like screaming hello to New York off his Gansevoort Park penthouse balcony, classic.  We won’t waste your time with any analysis on Kim and Kourtney Take New York #BMMTS because seriously, who cares,  but we will give you a list of the Top Ten Post Kardashian Show Highlights: 

1. Kourtney means business this season, with a higher and tighter ballerina bun than ever.

2. The foursome move into the penthouse of the Gansevoort Park Hotel, a sprawling 3 bedroom duplex that quickly turns out to be way too small.

3. Within a couple of days of living together, Kris grumbles about how star of the show, Baby Mason is just too much to deal with. He actually yells. At a baby. Hump, you’re dead to me.

4. Scott and Kris shave each other’s armpits…WTF?

5. TRIPLE THREAT: Kourtney surprises Kim at their spa day with…an enema! Kourtney later “leaks” (it is exactly what you think) onto Kim & Kris’s bed!  You also hear the ladies fart. That’s right. f-a-r-t, FART. Who says these girls aren’t still known for their asses?

6. Avril Levigne‘s Abbey Dawn fashion show was featured in one scene, showing at least one press outlet that enjoyed plugged her collection.

7. Kris then kicks off his first tv display of a$$hole immaturity by calling the nude yogi (yes, there’s nude yoga in this episode) “some rasta dude”, asking him “if it was cold in here”, calling him “disgusting”, then outwardly laughing in his face.  This was of course followed by a public argument with Kim and ends with Kris leaving (insert completely unshocked face here).

8. You get to see the inside of Dash and not only does it look like people are working, it is one of the rare scenes where the sisters seem genuinely happy.

9. By the end of the episode Scott and Kris have both moved out. Season foreshadowing dun dun dunn…

10. We are left with a teaser reel of Kim breaking down in tears about her failing marriage and low self esteem, making us disregard any negative feeling portrayed in this entire article.  Can’t wait til next week!

Any questions or tips on the Kardashain duo? Predictions on what’s going to happen next week? Not concerned at all but just want to say hello?  Tweet it all to me @iamsamlim

Remember when Avril Levigne was a hardcore punk rocker with a band of bad ass hipsters? Well she’s dead. Meet the Malibu Barbie edition of Canada’s most vapid export and her new collection for Kohl’s Abbey Dawn…