The classy online casino GoldenPalace.com shattered the dreams of a middle-aged pedo in Kansas when they ponied up the cash on Wednesday. All proceeds will go to animal rescue organization, The Gentle Barn Foundation, thus denying me more fur coats. Thanks, Biebs.

GoldenPalace.com issued a nauseating press release stuffed heartily with the overabundant usage of “belieber” and featuring the above image with the caption:

“Lock of Justin Bieber’s hair, bought by GoldenPalace.com, encased in plexiglass for future generations.”

Future generations? I have two words to say to that: Backstreet Boys.

Link Love: Huffington Post

A source *cough* Nick Carter *cough* tells E! that Carter checked into a Southern California rehab facility earlier this month in order to “finally get help.” This source goes on to say that “He [Aaron] was struggling recently and really need this.”

Aaron’s manager, Johnny Wright, issued this kind-of-creepy statement, confirming the report:

“Several months ago Aaron came to me to help him return to music and to restart his career. He has been in Orlando working on a new album and perfecting his live show and his physical body [Wha?]. Aaron, understanding the challenges and hard work it would take to get himself back to the top [Wait, when was he there to begin with? Just askin'], requested to take some time before we started to heal some emotional and spiritual issues he was dealing with. Therefore he has chosen to enter a facility where he feels he will get the guidance and cleansing he needs that will help him on the music journey he’s about to take. He asks that everyone keep him in their prayers and that they respect his privacy at this time.”

Okay, standard press release, but “perfecting” his “physical body”? Could you make this sound a little less like cheap porn, Johnny Wright? And also, what other kind of body would we be talking about here?

Meanwhile, the reasoning behind Aaron’s visit to rehab sounds strikingly similar to Backstreet Boy-Man, A.J. McLean‘s, who entered rehab a little over a week ago:

“For personal reasons, I’ve checked myself into a rehab clinic. With 2011 being a busy year for Backstreet, I want to be healthy and perform and sing for people at my very best and happiest. None of this will affect our current tour plans and I look forward to seeing everyone really soon! Thank you for all of your support and respecting my family and friends privacy during this time.”

Either rehab is the new spa where celebrities go to spruce up and cool down before embarking on alleged tours and performances, or Aaron and A.J. are secretly working on their own side project…2011 is going to be all about The Crackstreet Boys.

Link Love: E! Online

The boy bands are coming, the boy bands are coming………and boy are they old *ZING*. I keed. No but seriously, it’s an epidemic of ginormous proportions. New Kids on the Block, Backstreet Boys & New Edition are all back on the scene, I wonder if that residual income on songs sang has run out and it was either do another CD or the graveyard shift at Mickey Dumps. The overwhelming fear of my heart is pre-middle aged men traveling in groups of 5, dressed in the same color scheme, Jesus take the wheel. I don’t even know how New Kids were able to get Jonathan back on stage. Remember a few years ago when he was on Montell boo-hoo’n about stage fright and crowds of people, agoraphobia. I guess the possibility of makin’ more cash killed that. How do you feel about grown, really grown, men doin’ pop music, dancin’ around, looking matchy matchy? I know that’s my phobia!