Walking down the street one morning, I see a young woman dressed somewhat professionally, as if she’s on her way to work—smart, black trousers, fitted white button up and unassuming black heels, typical of the “business casual” dress code. But what caused this mundane occurrence stand out in my mind, and what would be the catalyst for the following rant is that over what would have been a sensibly attractive ensemble hangs a dingy, grossly oversized men’s zip-up hoodie splattered with a gauche, nondescript print. Why?!? I thought to myself, and suddenly realized that such crimes against fashion seem to forever permeate the greater population and assault our senses on a regular basis. I just can’t seem to wrap my mind around why some people choose to look like shit, given the plethora of resources and pillars of fashion how-to at their disposal. There. Is. Just. No. Excuse.

These are some of the worst offenses, old and new that I think if eradicated, would make the world a much better place:

1. “No clothes” clothes. Let the world know how insecure you are.
2. Skinny jeans on fat people. Hence the word “skinny”.
3. Overzealous anything. It’s cliché, but damn true: less is really more.
4. Ugg boots. Why do people still wear these??
5. Ill fit. End the delusion. Dress your size.
6. Mariah Carey.
7. Missing the mark. You tried but it’s not neither here nor there. Go with what you know.
8. Head-to-toe matching. It’s old-fashioned, tacky, and hurts my eyes.
9. Intentional, unnatural whiskering/fading on denim. Still??
10. An ostentatious outfit and a meek disposition. Like the aspiring emo kid in skintight jeans who looks as if he’s been called fag all day. Own it.

Stop the madness.

Why is it that every pop n lockin, Step Up 2: The Streets watching, b-girl wannabe thinks it’s fashionable to match their shoes to their outfits?  I realize it’s an accomplishment to match colors and their elementary school teacher probably gave them an extra star a few years back for accomplishing this task in the 1st grade, but isn’t it about time these people grew up?

I mean really, are you trying to look like the Pepto Bismol Man threw up all over your look (I realize that character doesn’t exist but if he did I’d imagine he’d look like a pink version of the Michelin Man only with a little more nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea, YAY Pepto Bismal)?

Either way, this look needs to go faster than a man with irritable bowel syndrome after a burrito bowl from Taco Hell…

Earlier today I posted some photos of Selma Blair’s from the set of her new show Kath and Kim. In today’s fashion quotable, Blair talks about her interesting costume choices:

“The character’s fashion sense is really horrific! I’m wearing a lot of bright clothes and I don’t wear anything except black and white in real life. I’m wearing orange and blue together. It’s horrible. And wedge flip-flops all the time, toe-rings, and an anklet. I have long hair, too, so I have these horrifying extensions and these long nails. It’s so embarrassing.”

Again the show looks wonderfully tacky!

Here’s a favorite photo of mine from the recently wrapped Cannes Film Festival. Although by looking at this photo it looks more like it’s someone’s prom photo from the 80’s. Evidently, Catherine Keener, Michelle Williams, and Samantha Morton all forgot that this was one  the most glamorous events of year and decided to wear the dowdiest outfits they could get their hands on it. See, this is what happens when you don’t use a stylist!

photo source

Discuss.