[From left to right]

Zimmermann: With a busy bone print, and seams that converge pointed in the middle, it is engineered to make you look pin thin.

We Are Handsome: A bright graphic print and tied sweetheart will distract from imperfections.

Lisa Marie Fernandez: As seen on January Jones on the cover of W, and also in our first Boutique Critique, this neoprene suit zips it in.

Zero + Maria Cornejo: The twisted effect of this one strapped suit will take your eyes on a pleasant journey around your curves.

Missoni: The mesmerizing print will keep the eyes busy enough.

Dolce & Gabbana: Polka dot and belted, a fupa will disappear in the dark.

Topshop: Enough optical illusion dizzy the eyes, which is what we’re going for.

Warehouse: Itty bitty florals get busy.

Zimmermann: This lingerie inspired piece shapes the twins and the rest.

1. H&M – A zig zag gem for $3.99.

2. Zingara – Bright stripe skimp.

3. L*Space – Fringe benefits of a one piece.

4. Adidas by Jeremy Scott – Get some fries to cover that shake.

5. Bambola – Squares within squares within stripes.

6. Roxy – Triangled triangles.

7. Concrete Jungle – Black and white bits.

8. Diane Von Furstenberg – Stripes like these illude optically.

9. Matthew Williamson – These shapes are a bit straggly, but super cute. Just be fit in it.

10. Mara Hoffman – Aztec two piece.

11. Dsquared2 – White looks even brighter on a tan.

12. Missoni – It’s so busy, you can get away with a little pooch until you get it together. And it’s Missoni, so it’s all good.

13. Paul Smith – Curves are cool, too.

14. Marni – Bubbled repeat on a high waist will conceal you.

15. VPL – Strap it on and make angles.

16. All Saints – Sparkle Aztec, sparkle.

If the sight of all these skimpy little things doesn’t inspire you to get off of your seat, stop blogging for a goddamn minute, quit skiving off yoga and go for a run maybe I’d be ready for a swimsuit!! Oh, wait, this is about you, not me. Yeah. Um. My memory is a little hazy. Time to start jogging.

LINK LOVE:This is NOT a Cheeky Bottom…

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It’s already practically summertime here in Cali, a sign that bikini shopping season has descended upon us. But even if you live in more frigid climates where spring showers are the norm right now, it’s still not too early to get ready for beach cruising, late-night pool parties and any other reason to preen around half-naked. LA designers Scarlett Chorvat and Alison Renner have created a covetable collection of fresh, edgy bikinis that utilize inventive, lightweight fabrics, playful prints and vivid colors. The Shimmi Collection pieces evoke a sexy, cutting-edge spirit in that effortless unassuming sort of way, but is nonetheless crazy stylish. Just another reason to stop dawdling and shed that winter flab ‘cause we all know that backfat ain’t cute, girl.

1.) Know your body type. Be honest with yourself about what your best features are and what parts you shouldn’t accentuate or highlight. Just like a pair of pants or a dress, certain fits will make your body look better than others. For instance, a bandeau top is typically more flattering on women with smaller busts. Larger breasted women should use an under wire top or something with extra support.

2.) One-pieces are great for plus size women, but just because you are not a size 2 does not mean you must shun a two-piece. If you have larger legs and a smaller torso or if you have very broad shoulders a one piece might actually emphasize your flaws. Don’t automatically assume a one-piece bathing suit is more flattering than a bikini.

3.) Pay attention to detail on the suit itself: Colors and patterns are very important and can make your body look better or worse. As an example, a solid color usually draws less attention to the rear. Conversely, if you are small busted and self conscious about it you can play up your bust with a swimsuit top that has bold patterns and colors. Playful suits with ruffles, logos, or really bold designs in certain areas can help draw attention towards one area of your body while masking others.

4.) Fit is everything. Just like a business suit, a wedding dress, or a pair of jeans, the fit of the swimsuit is the most important item. Don’t worry about what size you are wearing. Too many women get hung up on trying to “fit into” size X because they don’t want to be in a size larger. If a 10 fits better than an 8, even if you are usually an 8, get the 10!

5.) Find a suit that does not pinch (you should not get bulging above and/or below any of the straps or material). Go up a size if you feel pinched.

6.) The swimsuit bottom should not be baggy in the front or the back. You want the bottom to contour your rear without pinching and without sagging. Women who would like to elongate their legs should wear a tie side or a thin hipster bottom with a high arch. Tie sides make the legs look longer.

7.) With the top, always do the bottom strap first as tight as possible (don’t lose circulation!) and then tie the top around your neck. This has a dramatic effect on how the top looks

8.) Women who want to de-emphasize their butt should wear less fabric. The less fabric you have the smaller the target for peoples eyes. The more fabric, the bigger the butt will look. Also, another tip to draw the eyes away from the buttox would be to wear a top that is eye catching. It can be more colorful, have jewelry, have a pattern or anything else that would catch attention. Then pair this top with a solid darker color .

9.) State of mind is important: Do not go swimsuit shopping after a long day of eating or shopping or after a hard day at work. You will think NOTHING looks good because you are already in a tired, possibly negative state of mind. If possible, try to go swimsuit shopping in the morning or early afternoon after you’ve exercised and drank lots of water (no sugary soft drinks!). Your body always looks its best after a workout and ample water.

10.) Consider a private fitting service like Fiji Time Swimwear & More. Swimsuit expert Danna Pomeroy can bring the boutique to YOU so you can avoid department store horrors. Through her exciting swimwear parties, VIP private fittings and comprehensive virtual online consultations, Fiji Time Swimwear specializes in finding that perfect swimsuit for any body type.