Happy Toking and remember to dress is human, to smoke divine.

1. Quit this: Birkenstocks A mandal by any other name would look as bad.

Hit this: Espadrilles An Hermès espadrille may not be ideal for Ultimate Frisbee in the quad, but it's more than appropriate for quick munchie runs.

2. Quit this: Tie-Dye Psychedelia  gave us many things, none of them as enduring or as tacky as tie-dye.

Hit this: Bold prints Pucci prints are as trippy as they come so you can easily get lost staring into them for hours on end.

3. Quit this: Hemp A durable and versatile fabric, there are more chic ways to green your wardrobe, especially without using your green.

Hit this: Organic fabrics If you're all about sustainability and that crap, H&M's Conscious Collection is easy on the environment and on your wallet.

4. Quit this: Puka shell necklaces Ah, the puka shell necklace, or as I like to think of it, shorthand for letting everyone know you're a complete tool.

Hit this: Statement jewelry A statement necklace says something completely different, like "I'm high as a kite right now and I'm going to dress like it."

5. Quit this: Ponchos If you've been indulging a little too much in the late night Taco Bell, then by all means, drape an unflattering carpet over yourself.

Hit this: Capes However, a cape like this Alexander McQueen number is a fashionable alternative to the poncho but on the other hand, so is anything else.

6. Quit this: Board shorts Board shorts are appropriate on only one occasion, and that is on a surf board. Any other time is just an insult to surfers everywhere.

Hit this: Suit shorts Tom Ford doesn't think men should wear shorts at all, but Thom Browne doesn't expect you to play hacky sack in a full-on pant during those hot summer months.

7. Quit this: Hawaiian shirts Hawaiian shirts are appropriate on only one occasion, and that is on Charlie Sheen. Any other time is just an insult to Charlie Sheen...which is kind of all right.

Hit this: Paisley shirts Odds are you won't need much to cheer you up this 420, but paisley, like this Michael Kors top, can add a dash of curlicued sunshine to anyone's day.

8. Quit this: Baggy jeans "So okay, I don't want to be a traitor to my generation and all but I don't get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair - ew - and cover it up with a backwards cap and like, we're expected to swoon? I don't think so." -- Cher Horowitz

Hit this: Harem pants A harem pant gives you the same freeballin' feeling as a pair of slouchy Levi's hanging off your upper thighs and -- bonus points -- the drop-crotch acts as a great weed table if nothing else is around.

9. Quit this: American Eagle For most of us, middle school is over and so is the Eagle.

Hit this: American Apparel Going from the Eagle to the Apparel, though, is not so much a show of growth so much as a show of wanting to get laid. But even stoners need to slut it up sometimes.

10. Quit this: Beanies A beanie is like the stoner equivalent of the little black dress. And though I would deign to ask any pothead worth his or her reefer to abandon their LBD...

Hit this: Newsboys A newsboy cap adds a certain air of jauntiness and charm. I mean, who would you rather get high with, beanie boy or Brad Pitt? Though the beanie guy looks baked as all get out.

Meet the lovely Cloak & Dagger team: Lisa, Brookelyn and Kim.

What do you think of this wild footwear choice? Yay or nay? Photos via Tom & Lorenzo

Multicolor patchwork in shades of toned down primary hues will wrap bright and warm.

Wool that ombres into leather makes this multi texture poncho snug the shoulders tight.

Don't be fooled, this is not a coat. Those armlets are actually a second layer of broçade that goes all the way around back. 'Tis primarily for fall.

Let the 20s fringe hang down, and the blue piping catch an eye.

Replace the raincoat with something sheerly phenomenal. Made of patent leather, it's totally posh.

Keeping the cape simple, this warmer weather mini cape will shield you from elements through November.

Block it out and frame the cape. Keep this one boxy.

This plush faux fur capelet will make you your own teddy bear, in caramel stripes.

This double sided cashmere throw will keep you cuddly inside and out.

Thin faux fur cascades to a point.

The trench got some werq done. Sleeves begone, behold a cape.

Through the fall it'll suffice as a full on jacket, but layer it over your coat come the deep cold.

For the Pretentious Art Snob:  You’ve been there, done that, own everything and everyone so even the most avant garde installations leave you bored. But that doesn’t mean you have anything else to do.

This first episode explores the versatility of the trench coat and André lays down the law while cradling baby Tyra on his Chado Ralph Rucci-cape-covered knee:

A: When you put on a coat you suggest high-octane mystery.

T: But why not put on a pea coat or a–

A: TOOOO SHOOOORT!

Next Tyra gives advice on how to JAZZ UP a trench coat and for any advice regarding the jazzing up of anything I am strictly ON. BOARD.

She suggests a wide cincher belt that she wants you to know — by yelling it over and over again — that it costs $12 at Payless. Doesn’t it feel good? And by wearing said trench with a statement necklace you’ll add a “little sex appeal” as well as some “snap and sass.” Finally zhush those sleeves and suddenly your trench has gone from “blah” to “Rrrr”  – it’s like Tyra is the poet laureate of our generation. Her or Nicky Minaj…

Anyway, André — sensing a lull — returns to discuss the history of the trench coat with Tyra still on his lap and along the way we’re introduced to the Word of the Day, “kicky.”

T: What is a kicky?
A: KICKY IS UP!  YOU’RE UP! YOU’RE UP! KICK! KICK! KICK! UP! UP! UP!

Scratch that, ALT’s had a choke hold on poet laureate since the 80s.

Finally we’re left with a disturbing conversation about whether ALT grooms “down there” — for the record he does not and for the record I feel as scarred as a child who first learns their parents have sex.

I just thought there was a secret portal into a magical haute couture world where Anna Wintour and Grace Coddington argue all day under all those capes…thanks Tyra.

Though I’m totally signing up for Type F now…mostly because she told me to.

The Muscovites by Masha Kravtsova Fall 2011 collection wasn’t held at the Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week tents but took place across town at the Audi Forum on Park Avenue. It was among the beautiful cars and crisp, clean showroom that the deconstructed fall line debuted. It was such an interesting juxtaposition. Cropped jackets and vests ruled the runway along with knitted sweaters. The collection had everything a woman would need to keep warm during the cold Russian winters and definitely the cold New York weather. Her line featured black, grays and browns with a fun twist of wood-like leggings and matching spandex tops. Leather details and ruffles were other added twists to this line. The piece that stood out to me the most was the long sleeve maxi dress with two rips at the bottom, resembling tank top sleeves; it was unique and made you look twice to think “is it possible to wear this the other way around?” This collection is everything any woman could ask for in a fall collection: capes, sweaters, leggings, vests and jackets to keep you warm, layer and play around with.

1. Wear more fur. I want to be on PETA‘s “Most Wanted List” in 2011. Hell, I’d kill a family of chinchillas, skin them and wear them if I could. Nature is going to shit anyway, so why not put those endangered species to good use? Drape me from head to stiletto in fur and if possible, blood diamonds — I will single-handedly ruin what’s left of this world.

2. No more jeggings. This is a hard one. I officially own more pairs of jeggings than I do of actual jeans, but the trend is already becoming horribly outdated. Still, on a bloated day, there’s nothing more comfortable than breathable cotton. Except maybe breathable cotton and a pint of Mint Chocolate Chip iced cream. I mean, you’re already bloated, might as well go down with the ship.

3. Find shoes that actually fit me. Yesterday I found a bit of blood in my socks from my combat boots digging unmercifully into my heels. And my pinky toe is all but dead from being constantly wedged into vintage shoes. But sometimes you have to pounce on a Cuban heel and suck it up for the sake of fashion.

4. Learn to tie a bowtie. Right now I only (sadly) have one bowtie, a clip on chambray from American Apparel. However, it behooves a gentleman to know how to properly affix a bowtie. That, and to mix a proper cocktail and to properly kiss another man with tongue.

5. Rely less on H&M. Gaga knows I love those damned Swedes. The majority of my wardrobe derives from Hennes and Mauritz, but as my style and tastes develop, I will inevitably have to stray from the flock. However, if they continue with their all-star collaborations, I might have to throw this resolution under the bus, much like the year I decided to “cut back on drinking.”

6. Bring back the ascot. This has been a resolution of mine since I was about 14 and why not?, it’s a perfectly reasonable neck accessory that doesn’t at all remind people of hapless, blond, teenaged snoops.  Over the years, I’ve periodically worn ascots to varying degrees of success. Once, I wore it on a job interview and I like to think it had nothing to do with my not receiving a callback.

7. Get photographed by The Sartorialist. This is partly just me stroking my own vanity. Okay, it’s completely just me stroking my own vanity, but dammit, do you think I’m walking around in capes, sequins and harem pants for fun?! Okay, I totally am, but I would at least like it documented for posterity’s sake.

8. Find a practically-sized day bag. When traipsing about New York, I like to be prepared for any and everything, thus I carry a man purse that would put Mary Poppins’ magical carpet bag to shame. More than once have I pulled out a coat rack from the depths of my tote, but no longer! I’m actually contemplating a stylish backpack (suggestions, anyone?), or a medium-sized tote for my everyday travels. And that’s what I like to call “progress.”

9. Find a good tailor. A good tailor is absolutely essential — not just to let out one’s clothing after gorging on holiday fare, though that in itself is god’s work — but sometimes the perfect pair of pants can be a bit too big or a bit too short. Enter a tailor and for a few bucks, those Cheap Mondays look a little less cheap.

10. Shop more. The bottom-line to all this resolving and promise-making is that I need to step up my shopping game. That means I’ve got to throw around more plastic than an Ultimate Frisbee championship, roll out more dough than a pizzeria and carry more bags than Oprah‘s eyes.

It’s a tough job, but in order to truly make a change in 2011, it’s necessary.

Yes. I. Can.

Cartoon: Political Graffiti

1. The Fur Coat (preferably over a bikini) – Fur is an absolute necessity come winter and it’s so warm that you can wear anything underneath it. So why not throw on your favorite maillot, two-piece or speedo to sex up that dead animal carcass draped around your shoulders. Or if that’s not your cup of vodka, there’s always the reliable fur bikini: the perfect melding of two disparate worlds into one completely unnecessary garment.

Raquel Welch, fur bikini pioneer

2. The Union Suit – This practical one-piece, usually intended as an undergarment, is easily translatable to chic outerwear. Just think of it as another fashion-forward jumpsuit with adjustable decolletage: you can unbutton to collarbone, ribcage or navel level. And if you’re feeling especially frisky, undo the butt flap to reveal something chic…or something cheek.

3. The Muff – Basically a giant portable sleeve, the muff is perfect for concealing a compact, a lipstick or my favorite accessory, a purse gun. It’s the lady’s way of smuggling contraband while keeping those murderous manicured nails warm and unchipped.

4. The Trapper Hat – While your hands look like they are covered by a pillow in a muff, your head can look like a family of raccoons made a nest then subsequently died on it with the irresistibly comfortable trapper hat.

5. The Cape - Capes aren’t just for vampires, superheroes and drag queens (my own personal superheroes) – they’re a sleeveless alternative to a boring old coat and come in a variety of shapes, lengths and materials. And also come in handy when pretending to be a vampire/superhero/drag queen…or the resulting combination, André Leon Talley.

6. The Cowl – The cowl is my preferred method of neck warmth, not that  I have anything against a scarf. After all, you can’t dramatically throw a cowl around your neck for a scene-stealing exit, but it’s charm is in its ease and functionality. Just slip your head through one end and burrow your way through to the other. It’s like birth without all that unpleasant vagina action.

7 . Opera Gloves – This last staple is for those strapless fancy nights on the town spent dancing, boozing and schmoozing, since no one goes to the opera anymore. Adorn them with bracelets, cuffs and whatever diamonds you can smuggle in your muff to ratchet up the glamour.

And there you have it. If you have at least some of these items in your closet, this winter might not seem as bleak nor chill as many bones. And if you need any more incentive, you’ll probably save a clutch purse of dough on Halloween.

Julie Christie and Omar Sharif from "Dr. Zhivago"

I know we are in the middle of a heat wave here in NYC, so the last thing we can think about is covering up, but designer Lindsay Thornburg has brought new meaning to the ‘little red riding hood.’

Made from wool and silk lining, the collection is inspired by her travels to South Africa, and contains not only capes, also hooded dresses, belted jumpers, and satchels.