Left: You’re a child swallowing a spoonful of medicine that your mom promised would taste good, and now she’s telling you that if it didn’t taste awful it wouldn’t work. Center: You’re at a social dinner with your work colleagues and their spouses, desperately trying to signal your partner to stop talking so freely about your shared sex life. Right: You’re a bunny-level skier who has decided to try a black-diamond slope, and now, with no idea how to stop, you’re headed straight for a tree.

1. “Oh hey there, William, I thought I’d smell cookies wafting from the ovens of your little elves that live in your hair”
-Sue to Will, Episode 15 “The Power of Madonna”

2. “Get ready for the ride of your life Will Schuester. You’re about to board the Sue Sylvester Express. Destination: horror!”
-Sue to Will, Episode 13 “Sectionals”

3. “You know, for me trophies are like herpes. You can try to get rid of them but they just keep coming. Sue Sylvester has hourly flair ups of burning itchy highly contagious talent.”
-Sue to Will, Episode 21 “Funk”

4. Bryan: “Should I lock the door?”
Sue: “No, I got a secret room upstairs, like Letterman.”
-Sue in conversation with Bryan Ryan (Neil Patrick Harris), Episode 19 “Dream On”

5. “Dear Journal, something strange happened yesterday. I felt something below the neck. Dare I admit it? I have feelings for one Will Schuester. Sexy, non-murdering feelings … True love always springs from true hate. I’ll admit in the past I’ve fantasized about waking up with Will’s head on the pillow next to me, except now I pictured it attached to the rest of his body.”
-Sue writes in her journal, Episode 21 “Funk”

6. Sue: “Iron tablet? It keeps your strength up when you menstruate.”
Will: “I don’t menstruate.”
Sue: “Neither do I.”
-Sue in conversation with Will, Episode 2 “Showmance”

7. “Will, I made a small diaper for your chin, because it looks like a baby’s ass”
-Sue to Will, Episode 17 “Bad Reputation”

8. “Dear Journal, Feeling listless again today. It began at dawn, when I tried to make a smoothie out of beef bones, breaking my juicer. And then at Cheerios practice, disaster. It was unmistakable. It was like spotting the first spark on the Hindenburg. A quiver. That quiver will lose us Nationals. Without a championship, I’ll lose my endorsements, and without those endorsements, I won’t be able to buy my hovercraft.”
-Sue writes in her journal, Episode 6 “Vitamin D”

9. “I’ll often yell at homeless people: ‘Hey, how is that homelessness working out for you? Try not being homeless for once.’”
-Sue on “Sue’s Corner” segment, Episode 4 “Preggers”

10. “I empower my Cheerios to be champions. Do they go to college? I don’t know. I don’t care. Should they learn Spanish? Sure, if they wanna become dishwashers and gardeners.”
-Sue to Will, Episode 7 “Throwdown”
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