- An animated Lady Gaga will “play a little bit of a slut” (natch)when she kisses Marge Simpson — and inspires the town of Springfield, which is suffering from low self-esteem (natch) — during her guest starring stint on an episode of The Simpsons. [Page Six]

- 1500 losers with too much time on their hands people have signed an online petition to stop the “Starlet or Streetwalker” segment on E!‘s Fashion Police. Meanwhile, they’re completely missing the entire point of the segment: Hollywood starlets are skanks. Let’s stop the problem at its source, can we? [The Cut]

NICOLA FORMICHETTI – BOFFO Building Fashion 2011 from V Magazine on Vimeo.

Among the other fashion visionaries working with BOFFO are American jewelry designer and celebrity favorite Irene Neuwirth; 2011 CFDA Menswear Designer of the Year nominee Patrik Ervell; winners of the 2011 Ecco Domani Fashion Foundation Award for Womenswear, lingerie label The Lake & Stars; and 2009 CFDA Vogue Fashion Fund finalists Ohne Titel.

From May 19th- July 4th BOFFO will conduct a worldwide competition in partnership with Architizer in search of world-class architects to pair with these innovative fashion designers. Architects are asked to submit design proposals expressing their vision of a retail space for their fashion designer of choice.

Winners will be awarded $20,000 to build and install their installation.

The 2011 BOFFO Building Fashion Schedule:

- Nicola Formichetti | September 1-14

- Irene Neuwirth | September 22-October 5

- Patrik Ervell | October 13-26

- The Lake & Stars | November 3-16

- Ohne Titel | December 1-14

Throughout Fall 2011, you can visit the amazing architectural transformations taking place at the BOFFO Building Fashion Tribeca location generously donated by Mody Lipkis with the assistance of commercial brokerage firm Lansco. [Vimeo]

- Prada has officially gone public on the Hong Kong stock exchange. [WWD]

- GQ counted down the 25 Most Stylish Men on TV. They’re not fooling anyone by putting Don Draper at #2, but perks for giving  Parks & Recreation‘s Tom Haverford (#3) his props. [GQ]

- OH-NOOOOOOO! Beloved childhood wrestling favorite Macho Man Randy Savage died in a car accident. And cue fashion retrospective. No one ever did neon, bold prints and fringed bell bottoms better. Except maybe Cher.  [Buzzfeed]

- And it’s Cher’s 65th birthday today! Cue fashion retrospective. [Fashion Indie's Facebook]

*The Queen, it should be noted, is a huge SATC fan, though. She’s a total Samantha.

- Flavor Flav, he always said he wanted to wear Big Ben as a necklace

- Michelle Obama, at least one of us will be wearing McQueen

- Cher, I really want to gay this wedding up and Elton John‘s been slacking lately

- Sean Penn, I have a thing for Madonna‘s exes

- Muammar Gaddafi, too soon?

- Lady Gaga, only so she can see what it feels like not being the center of attention

- Naomi Campbell, I already added blood diamonds to the bridal registry

- The girls of Sex and the City, I wonder if they can write me into the third movie

- Fergie, the one from the Black Eyed Peas

- And since I was a wee Kate, I’ve wanted The Spice Girls at my wedding!  Except Posh, I never really cared for her…

Mrs. Brady goes from sophisticated blonde to sultry brunette to zany redhead without missing an absurdly-heeled step, proving yet again that they just don’t make supers like this anymore.

Even in that hideous red wig Gisele manages to sell the look and I have no problem buying it. And though she’s coolly seductive as a blonde, she really comes alive in the curly brunette wig à la 80s Cher meets Chita Rivera.

Which is your fave Gisele?

Photos: Image Amplified

Image Credit: Cut Out + Keep

All you need for this beauty routine is a tube of solid lip balm, an angled eye shadow brush and fine loose glitter of your choice.

Step 1: Take your lip balm and apply it to your eyebrow, covering the skin slightly above and below. I like Burt’s Bees Beeswax Lip Balm because it goes on smoothly and has a cooling effect. And please, make sure you buy a separate tube you’re not going to use on your lips.

Step 2: Dip your angled eye shadow brush into your pot of glitter, shaking off the excess. Apply pressure in a sweeping motion across the length of your brow. Press the brush down to make sure the glitter will adhere to the balm without budging. A good quality, super cheap brush will do just fine, like the Sonia Kashuk Angled Eyeshadow Brush. As for glitter, Make Up For Ever Glitters are amazing, and I’m obsessed with NYX Glitter Powder, which is what I used here.

Repeat steps 1 and 2 until the eyebrow is coated with an amount of glitter than suits you. For the finished product below, I executed steps 1 and 2 three times for each eyebrow.

Eat your heart out Cher.

Now you’re ready for anything! What do you think, will you try this look over the weekend?

Photo: People.com

Prabal Gurung

Prabal Gurung really knows how to make a woman feel like a lady; something Sheen usually undoes in a matter of minutes, but a pastel pink can soften anyone’e edges.

Donna Karan

Sheer-ly you jest! I’m sure Charlie’s angels are used to anything see-through, particularly pornogal Rachel Oberlin aka Bree Olson. However, Donna Karan shows how to class up that look while still giving off  a whiff of that all-important “whore” vibe; the Charlie Sheen catnip, as it were.

Jason Wu

It’s important to make a statement whenever entering a room and Jason Wu’s finale gown makes that statement loud and clear: “I’ve arrived now kill yourself.”  Which is something that Charlie’s been known to utter to more than a few hookers in the past.

Giles

Every goddess has her dark side — even Aphrodite could be a ruthless, conniving bitch — but that’s not to say they still can’t look heavenly. Also, I wouldn’t be surprised if Charlie loves a little leather (or a lot).

Alberta Ferretti

Some goddesses deign to walk the earth with mortals, while some come alive in nature. And for some, like Chronic Girl 2010, Natalie Kenly, nature holds the promise of some really choice bud. What better way to answer that age-old question “how green was my valley?” then with this floral-inspired number from Alberta Ferretti.

Prada

Besides ancient Greece, the greatest goddesses resided in the 70s: Diana Ross, Cher, Liza, Bianca Jagger, Elton John. Prada took a page out of that glittery era’s chapter with this sequined fur number that would look great hunched over a pile of cocaine on Charlie Sheen’s coffee table.

Versace

The bodice of this gown is positively Grecian, but the skirt says fiesta. A goddess can really kick up her tranny heels with this gam-bearing confection, whether they’re dancing vertically, or more likely, horizontally in a pool of tiger blood.

Dries Van Noten

If anything, a goddess loves to feel powerful. What’s the point of all those Sheen-baiting gifts if you don’t show ‘em off once in a while, am I right? And nothing says “power” like a gold lamé pantsuit. Business-fabulous.

Gareth Pugh

This one’s for good ole Chuck Sheen, for whenever he grows tired of those baseball caps and poly blend button downs and wants to feel pretty while showing off that Adonis DNA

Mugler

Monster Mother Goddess, Lady Gaga, can certainly share some tips on dressing the part: after walking in the Mugler show she subsequently bought the entire collection. It’s doubtful that Natalie and Rachel could walk in these towering platforms, but they’re on Team Sheen and Team Sheen is all about winning. And winners don’t fall, except perhaps from grace.

Runway Photos: Style.com

Everyone stood up for Billy Crystal when he showed up on stage at the Oscars last night, as if there was a certain sense of relief: daddy’s home. Hosting the Oscars is basically a thankless job (see: Jon Stewart, Conan O’Brien, Alec Baldwin/Steve Martin etc., etc.). It’s like walking a tightrope above a sea of sharks in couture gowns and Tom Ford tuxedos. Crystal was the go-to person for years and will probably be asked back next year.

Which isn’t to say that Anne Hathaway and James Franco didn’t do a decent job. The opening was hilarious and provided us with this little token of awesomeness, otherwise known as James Franco in a leotard:

They’re actors so they were best in a pre-taped skit, but then things took a quick dive, salvaged only by Anne Hathaway’s plucky charm and seven wardrobe changes (the best being the blue Armani Privé and the final Tom Ford, though in truth I would’ve preferred a few more looks; that first Givenchy Haute Couture seemed to last for. ever.)

Franco was high or just being James Franco, either way he was apparently too busy tweeting to commit fully to his hosting duties.  Though, honestly, it’s James Franco and I could care less what he does as long as he’s just around, perhaps lurking in a corner somewhere. And preferably in drag:

Photo: Huffington Post

It wasn’t Cher, but girl will throw a wig on at the drop of a hat.

The acceptance speeches were long-winded and boring, with the award for Most Pompous Grandstander going to Aaron Sorkin, natch. Luckily we had Best Supporting Actress Melissa Leo throwing the F-word around like it was going out of style. Combined with 900-year-old Kirk Douglas stealing the show and hobbling away with it, there was nothing really to hold interest past the first 45 minutes of the show.

The King’s Speech took home four awards, the four biggest awards at that: Best Picture, Best Director, Best Original Screenplay and most deservedly, Best Actor for Colin Firth, who delivered an eloquent and clever speech like only the British can. I was pulling for dark horse, Black Swan, though The Social Network had blown its wad at the earlier awards shows.

Natalie Portman won Best Actress over multiple snubbee, Annette Bening and delivered another adorable speech. Christian Bale took home Best Supporting Actor and from the looks of him probably went back to living in a cardboard box. Though, forest beard or not, I’d still hit it.

Gwyneth Paltrow made an appearance on an Oscar stage for the first time in who gives a…performing “Coming Home” from Country Strong and Cee Lo‘s presence was certainly missed.

All in all, the show was a big snooze, but I’m seriously going to miss all the hooplah of awards season. There’s nothing to look forward to now until the Emmys in September! Oh, and I guess the VMAs if you’re into that kind of trash. Twas a good season though, full of great movies and a poorly produced Oscars telecast, but now we can all refer to that guy from Nine Inch Nails as “Academy Award winner Trent Reznor.”

It’s a completely different thing, however, to deny us our favorite gender-bending, mindfucking, A-list boycrush heartthrob James Franco performing the song. And in Cher drag no less. This is the OSCARS, for Chaz Bono’s sake. The only people watching are the gays, the elderly and the Jews, and I think I can safely say that we are all very disappointed in you, Academy.

Franco tweeted on Monday: ”they pulled this from the oscar show. damn it,” including an audio clip of him “belting” out “You Haven’t Seen the Last of Me Yet.” The alleged plan was to have Jimmy Francs cover the song then Cher to come out and show him how an Oscar-winning legend does it. But considering the Diane Warren-penned, Golden Globe-winning tune has been left out of the nominations, that is merely a pipe dream.

Producers apparently thought it “inappropriate” to devote so much time and attention to a song and movie that were not even nominated. Blah blah blah.

Well Cher, never known for her subtlety, took to her Twitter in a series of rants to give the world a piece of her mind:

“Ok this IS ME BEING A BABY ! MY HEART IS BROKEN ! I WAS UPSET AFTER WINNING THE GOLDEN GLOBE … Not to b nominated by the Academy, but the Music Voting process is different Than the acting directing etc etc … Process ALL ACTORS GET A CHANCE TO VOTE 4 ALL the actors , same with directors etc ! With Orig Song … There is Blue Ribbon Panel of a few people who decide ! Unlike ALL Actors Getting To Decide Who The ACTOR Nominees will b ! … James Franco was going to dress up in the “Welcome to Burlesque outfit & sing U Haven’t Seen the Last of me … I was OVER THE MOON ! cause even if I did get Snubbed by the music part of the Academy … How Cool was it to sing your song … To have YOUR SONG sung by James Fkn Franco in Your Outfit ! Well I guess his singing ( unlike his Acting Sucks ) … But he COULD HAVE LIP SYNCED ! oh well I’m all sour grapes ! It was GREAT THAT HE thought the Song was good enough to try ! … Gotta count our blessings where we find them ! Disappointment passes! But I’ll keep this Song alive.”

Later, these tweets were removed, along with Franco’s, leaving only speculation and hearsay. But it’s 2011 and whenever something happens, someone’s going to see it. Which leads me to believe that there is a vast Academy Awards conspiracy against…well, I haven’t figured out who or what it is against, but once I do….the whole crazy shitshow will come crumbling down like so many Saltine crackers.

Link Love: ET Online, E! Online

So what is a great Oscar gown? It’s a dress that is memorable, history-making, scene-stealing or just plain fucking perfect. With that, I just don’t get the fuss over Gwyneth‘s pink prom dress and refuse to even acknowledge that gown or the fact that she has an Oscar.

Audrey Hepburn (1954) Auds became a star and a fashion icon that night when she wore Givenchy, beginning a lifetime collaboration between the star and designer. Along with America’s heart, she took home the Best Actress trophy for her debut performance in Roman Holiday.

Elizabeth Taylor (1961) In the pantheon of great movie stars, few shine brighter or longer than Liz Taylor, thus a list of the greatest Oscar gowns could barely be considered legitimate without Liz throwing her white diamonds into the mix — I hear they’ve always brought her luck. Taylor won her first of two Oscars for BUtterfield 8 and wore this gorgeous Christian Dior number to claim her statuette. It’s generally accepted  – even by Liz herself — that Taylor won the award through a vote of sympathy after losing her husband Mike Todd in a plane crash – only to seek comfort with Debbie Reynolds’ then-husband Eddie Fisher —  and suffering a life-threatening illness during filming – at one point she was actually pronounced dead. Six years later she took home a well-deserved trophy for Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

Cher (1984) Cher might have proved that she was a serious actress with her Oscar-nominated turn as Meryl Streep‘s lesbian lover in Silkwood, but she’s still fucking Cher. The icon wore Bob Mackie (natch) to the 1984 ceremony but lost only to win three years later for Moonstruck. And that gown was no less show-stopping, but didn’t have this amazing headdress.

Halle Berry (2002) Halle Berry not only became the first African American to win a Best Actress Academy Award that night, but she also launched Elie Saab into the sartorial stratosphere. This was Berry’s and Saab’s shining moment and everything since then has been an enormous letdown. On both their parts.

Barbra Streisand (1969) Eschewing tradition and helping to usher in a new generation of movie star, Babs wore a see-through sequined sailor pantsuit by Arnold Scaasi. It was a big gamble but La Streisand came out the winner and made history by tying for Best Actress with Katharine Hepburn when they won for Funny Girl and Lion in Winter, respectively. Kate chose not to attend because, honestly, it was her third (of four) Oscars and she couldn’t have been bothered.

Celine Dion (1999) Was it a stroke of genius that caused Celine Dion to turn her Christian Dior blazer back-to-front or did she simply forget to take her medication that day? Either way, Celine was memorable the year after her heart went on and on to win Best Original Song (though the award itself went to the songwriters, I. Dunno and No-one Cares).

Nicole Kidman (1997) Nikki Kids was a greenhorn on the red carpet before this Dior gown and became one of its reigning queens after. Though she gave an incredible performance the previous year in To Die For, she won in 2003 for her brilliant portrayal of Virginia Woolf in the saddest movie ever made, otherwise known as The Hours. Nominated this year for her third Oscar for Rabbit Hole, she’s got some big shoes to fill: her own.

Anjelica Huston (1976) Former Halston model Anjelica Huston looked flawless and managed to do what few people can claim: take attention away from Jack Nicholson, who won his first of three Oscars that year for One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. Huston would claim her own statuette, for Best Supporting Actress, a decade later for Prizzi’s Honor, also starring Nicholson.

Sharon Stone (1999) I usually spell “batshit crazy” S-H-A-R-O-N-S-T-O-N-E, but Stone looked the picture of elegance in a Vera Wang skirt paired with a Gap button down. The marriage of high and low was made in heaven that night, though I still couldn’t tell you why she was at the ceremony that year. But like most things with Sharon Stone, I don’t question it.

Björk (2001) The dress that launched a thousand jokes, Björk’s Marjan Pejoski swan dress was perhaps the last epic thing to stroll down the Oscar red carpet. Nommed for Best Original Song that year, Björk may have left empty-handed but no one will ever forget that she was there.

Who will leave tongues hanging or heads scratching at this year’s Academy Awards. Of the 10 Best Lead and Supporting Actress nominees, I’m most looking forward to Kidman, teen breakthrough Hailee Steinfeld (as well as peer Elle Fanning who will get her own nomination one day), the almost always flawless Michelle Williams and kooky Helena Bonham Carter.

Unfortunately, Natalie Portman is preggers so naturally I have no interest in what she’s wearing and just hope her water doesn’t break while accepting her award.

Photos: Vogue UK, Time

Credit: Huffington Post

I get severe back and neck pain every time I look at Michelle Williams in this Valentino dress because my brain is sending signals of suffering and agony to the rest of my body. THIS IS A TRAIN WRECK. If you disagree, you are wrong. This is not a matter of opinion, it is a matter of fact, and she looks terrible. Was her stylist wasted when he/she brought this dress to the fitting? I wore a dress like this when I was 12 – I hated it then, and I still hate it now. F

Office comment: Shower curtain I would not hang in my bathroom

Credit: InStyle

Julie Bowen managed to find the ugliest shade of gray for last night’s Golden Globes. This Tadashi Shoji chiffon gown does not translate, as she looks like a chicken that was plucked and had it’s feathers glued back on asymmetrically. She has a great body, so why hide behind this hideous frock that washes her out? A funny lady shouldn’t strive to look funny. D

Office comment: Drab, like a garden overgrown with weeds

What happened to Christina Aguilera?! She used to be a bombshell, and now she’s just a mess. First of all, YOU ARE NOT CHER. The “strategically placed applique” look of this Zuhair Murad doesn’t work for her because of her curves. And I am not saying she’s pudgy, but sleeves would not hurt her right now. It’s very difficult to wear a strapless dress if it doesn’t fit perfectly. And it looks like she’s wearing a wig! Bad, bad, bad X-tina. D

Office comment: She could have looked worse

Credit: Red Carpet Fashion Awards

Everyone in the office is giving me shit for putting Emma Stone in the worst-dressed category, but I really couldn’t care less. This Calvin Klein dress is chic, and I don’t think this blond hair-dying, Lindsey Lohan look-alike has earned the right to wear it yet. Easy A was mediocre at best, I want to see some real acting emotion dammit. The only reason she gets a plus is because her body is great and she can wear this dress. But may she? D+

Office comments: Love it, she looked beautiful and stunning

Credit: Red Carpet Fashion Awards

I weep for Julianne Moore. She is one of the most brilliant actresses in Hollywood, and she constantly makes poor fashion choices. This Lanvin dress makes me say “ain’t nothin’ like mutton,” where is the spit, it’s time to roast this leg of lamb. Really bad color, worse construction and it’s wrinkled. Yuck! It looks like she’s about to enter an amateur jousting match. D-

Office comment: I hate redheads in pink. It was such a green year, and that color looks great on her. Why didn’t she wear green?

Credit: Red Carpet Fashion Awards

It’s a shame half of Halle Berry’s dress got ripped off in the limo door because she looks great from the waist up. This Nina Ricci dress looked amazing on the runway, but it was worn with boots and tights for an edgy feel. This is too tight on her and looks like it might split in the back as soon as she takes her seat. BUT, I love her hair short, and except for the dress, she looks beautiful. D

Office comment: I love Halle Berry, so this upsets me. She can do anything she wants, but not really.

Jennifer Love Hewitt stained her Golden Globes dress at the last minute, so she had to staple this white tablecloth around herself minutes before she arrived. UGH. This Romona Keveza gown was so not a good choice. First of all, SO OVER the big bun. Secondly, she also has a nice, full bust, and this floppy piece of fabric does nothing for it. I hate white, even for wedding dresses, because it’s not flattering and it makes fake tans look more orange than they already are. Beautiful, talented girl, really bad fashion taste. D-

Office comment: A girl with a big bust should wear a sweetheart neckline, something that accentuates but doesn’t let everything flop around.

There you have it folks, the worst dressed from this year’s Golden Globes. I’d love to hear your comments, even though you might be wrong.

1. Ricky Gervais will never be asked to host anything ever again, short of a Bar Mitzvah on Long and/or Staten Island. Gervais’ brilliant and acerbic monologue had me in stitches, but you don’t make fun of Angelina Jolie, Scientology and Cher and expect to get away with it. What made Gervais opening monologue and openly drunken interludes so great was the fact that he was spot-on. But as Hollywood has proven time and time again, it takes itself far too seriously.

2. Michelle Williams might actually stand a chance at the Oscars. Front-runners Natalie Portman and Annette Bening both took home Best Actress (Drama and Comedy, respectively), however, the Oscars don’t separate performances by genre. Portman and Bening have been splitting the awards down the middle this awards season, leaving me to wonder if Michelle Williams might just slip in should they divide the Academy’s vote. Or, even better, what if there was a tie à la Kate Hepburn and Babs Streisand in 1969?

3. Peg Bundy is amazing. There’s nothing I love more than seeing an actor or actress finally get her due. Katey Segal is perhaps best known for her role as Peg Bundy on classic 90s sitcom, Married…with Children, in addition to 8 Simple Rules and as the voice of Leela on Futurama. In short, she’s been working her ass off for years with little to no recognition. So when she won Best Actress in a Drama for Sons of Anarchy, I couldn’t help but feel not only happy but proud of that leopard-print spandex-wearing, big-haired, chain-smoking angel from on high. See also, Melissa Leo winning for The Fighter.

4. Glee is the best thing to happen to the gays since the birth of Liza. Best Supporting Actresses, Chris Colfer and Jane Lynch delivered two of the best acceptance speeches of the night; the former a heartwarming and inspiring message to gay teens and the latter a comedic tour de force ending with Lynch thanking her wife and kids. When Glee finally won Best Comedy, you could just hear all the little gays around the country squeal in pitch-perfect delight.

5. Robert DeNiro can continue making Meet the Fockers movies til he dies. Watching the montage of Bobby DeNiro’s films over the past 40 years (which for some reason included The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle), I was reminded how prolific and amazing an actor he is. His legacy will remain in tact with such films as Mean Streets, The Godfather – Part II, Taxi Driver, The Deer Hunter, Raging Bull, The Last King of Comedy, Goodfellas, Cape Fear and Casino. Hopefully time or excessive drinking will erase the past 15 years or so from our collective conscience.

Below, the full list of winners:

Film

Best Picture – Drama: The Social Network

Best Picture – Musical or Comedy: The Kids Are All Right

Best Actress – Drama: Natalie Portman, Black Swan

Best Actor – Drama: Colin Firth, The King’s Speech

Best Actress – Comedy or Musical: Annette Bening, The Kids Are All Right

Best Actor – Comedy or Musical: Paul Giamatti, Barney’s Version

Best Supporting Actress: Melissa Leo, The Fighter

Best Supporting Actor: Christian Bale, The Fighter

Best Animated Film: Toy Story 3

Best Foreign Language Film: In a Better World

Best Director: David Fincher, The Social Network

Best Screenplay: Aaron Sorkin, The Social Network

Best Original Score: Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross, The Social Network

Best Original Song: Diane Warren, “You Haven’t Seen the Last of Me”, Burlesque

Cecil B. DeMille Award: Robert DeNiro

TV

Best Series, Drama: Boardwalk Empire

Best Series, Comedy or Musical: Glee

Best Actress – Drama: Katey Segal, Sons of Anarchy

Best Actor – Drama: Steve Buscemi, Boardwalk Empire

Best Actress – Comedy or Musical: Laura Linney, The Big C

Best Actor – Comedy or Musical: Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory

Best Mini-Series or Made for TV Movie: Carlos

Best Actress, Mini-Series/Made for TV Movie: Claire Danes, Temple Grandin

Best Actor, Mini-Series/Made for TV Movie: Al Pacino, You Don’t Know Jack

Best Supporting Actress: Jane Lynch, Glee

Best Supporting Actor: Chris Colfer, Glee

Link Love: Golden Globes

Though she has always denied that her face is full of more formaldehyde than a funeral corpse, La Kidman recentlyadmitted to a German mag:

“I’ve tried a lot of things but apart from working out and a good diet most things don’t help. I even tried Botox but I didn’t like how my face looked afterwards. Now I don’t use it anymore – and I can move my forehead again.”

I wonder what could have brought about this change? Perhaps she’s afraid of the detrimental effects of prolonged use?

Or maybe her body has just started to completely reject the Bo all together prompting her to find an alternative method of deceiving time?

Stem cells anyone?

Either way, I’m glad for Nikki. There’s nothing wrong with aging gracefully —just ask Demi Moore, Sharon Stone or Cher.

Link Love: Daily Mail

NYT: “Also, Cher is back. Did you see that raunchy Julien Macdonald dress and the red wig?”

See it? I lived in it.

Geriatric perfection.

A few hundred years Cher’s junior, Fanning was flawless nonetheless in head-to-toe, off-the-runway Rodarte for the New York premiere of Sofia Coppola‘s new film, Somewhere. Then for the Hollywood premiere she wore Valentino Haute Couture.

Meanwhile, she’s barely through puberty and is dressing better than half the starlets, twice her age.

And yes I am looking at you, Kate Hudson.

So are female stars dressing better and taking more chances? Well, yes and no. For every Elle Fanning in Rodarte or Carey Mulligan in Prada, there’s bound to be someone abusing McQueen or horribly out of place in Dior.

What we have are young women who grew up on fashion magazines and have a love, interest and knowledge of fashion and dressing up. Fashion is more democratic than ever, so it’s only natural for a twelve-year old to embrace a heady brand like Rodarte.

Especially when her older sister has been turning it out for ages. And with awards season upon us, Elle and the rest of young Hollywood will have plenty opportunities to wow, stun, confuse and confound us.

LINK LOVE: New York Times

Photo: Daily Mail

Despite scathing reviews and dysmal box office returns, The Tourist and Burlesque were both nominated for Best Picture – Musical/Comedy, which just goes to show you that…actually I’m not really sure at all what that goes to show anyone. Other nominees include Alice in Wonderland, Red and  The Kids Are All Right, which has already won by default.

Both Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie were nominated for Best Actor and Actress, respectively, in the same genre, however Cher is conspicuously absent. Now, who does the HFPA think they’re fooling? They can nominate Depp and Angie for sleepwalking through a movie no one saw, but snub Cher after wielding a crowbar in her first film in over 7 years? Someone call the AARP, the Globes are abusing a senior citizen.

Elsewhere, the Globes mirror the CCAs in their unabashed hard-on for Black Swan, The Social Network and The King’s Speech, each receiving multiple nominations in the acting categories, as well as a nomination for Best Picture – Drama. They’re joined in that auspicious category by Inception and The Fighter, with Danny Boyle‘s 127 Hours mysteriously snubbed.

The flick’s star, James Franco, is however nominated and released a statement to MTV about how “grateful” he is. And he also released a statement to Matt Lauer of the Today show about his love of texting pictures of fat animals.

I’m seriously excited about his various award speeches in the coming months.

Marky Mark Walhlberg (The Fighter) replaces Jeff Bridges in the competitive Best Actor – Drama category, otherwise, the nominees are exactly the same as the Critics’ Choice. Meanwhile, the nominees in the Best Actor – Comedy section will be getting drunk on the free champagne while Johnny Depp chuckles to himself at getting nominated twice for essentially the same character he’s been playing for the past 15 years.

It’s becoming clearer and clearer that the race to watch this year is Best Actress. Natalie Portman, Michelle Williams, Nicole Kidman and Jennifer Lawrence all re-scored the nomination, with Halle Berry somehow sneaking into the Drama category. Annette Bening has already engraved her name on the Best Actress – Comedy trophy, as her only real competition coming from her Kids Are All Right co-star, the incredible Julianne Moore.

Below, the full list:

Best Picture – Drama
Black Swan
The Fighter
Inception
The King’s Speech
The Social Network

Best Picture – Musical or Comedy
Alice in Wonderland
Burlesque
The Kids Are All Right
Red
The Tourist

Best Actor – Drama
Jesse Eisenberg, The Social Network
Colin Firth, The King’s Speech
James Franco, 127 Hours
Ryan Gosling, Blue Valentine
Mark Wahlberg, The Fighter

Best Actress – Drama
Halle Berry, Frankie and Alice
Nicole Kidman, Rabbit Hole
Jennifer Lawrence, Winter’s Bone
Natalie Portman, Black Swan
Michelle Williams, Blue Valentine

Best Actor – Musical or Comedy
Johnny Depp, Alice in Wonderland
Johnny Depp, The Tourist
Paul Giamatti, Barney’s Version
Jake Gyllenhaal, Love and Other Drugs
Kevin Spacey, Casino Jack

Best Actress – Musical or Comedy
Annette Bening, The Kids Are All Right
Anne Hathaway, Love and Other Drugs
Angelina Jolie, The Tourist
Julianne Moore, The Kids Are All Right
Emma Stone, Easy A

Best Supporting Actor
Christian Bale, The Fighter
Michael Douglas, Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps
Andrew Garfield, The Social Network
Jeremy Renner, The Town
Geoffrey Rush, The King’s Speech

Best Supporting Actress
Amy Adams, The Fighter
Helena Bonham Carter, The King’s Speech
Mila Kunis, Black Swan
Melissa Leo, The Fighter
Jacki Weaver, Animal Kingdom

Best Director
Darren Aronofsky, Black Swan
David Fincher, The Social Network
Tom Hooper, The King’s Speech
Christopher Nolan, Inception
David O. Russell, The Fighter

Best Screenplay
127 Hours, Simon Beaufoy and Danny Boyle
Inception, Christopher Nolan
The Kids Are All Right, Lisa Cholodenko and Stuart Blumberg
The King’s Speech, David Seidler
The Social Network, Aaron Sorkin

Best Original Song
“Bound to You,” Burlesque (performed by Christina Aguilera; written by Samuel Dixon, Christina Aguilera and Sia Furler)
“Coming Home,” Country Strong (performed by Gwyneth Paltrow; written by Bob PiPiero, Tom Douglas, Hillary Lindsey, Troy Verges)
“I See the Light,” Tangled (performed by Mandy Moore & Zachary Levi; written by Alan Menken & Glenn Slater)
“There’s a Place For Us,” The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (performed by Carrie Underwood; written by Carrie Underwood, David Hodges, Hillary Lindsey)
“You Haven’t Seen the Last of Me Yet,” Burlesque (performed by Cher; written by Diane Warren)

Best Original Score
Inception, Hans Zimmer
The King’s Speech, Alexandre Desplat
The Social Network, Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross
Alice in Wonderland, Danny Elfman
127 Hours, A.R. Rahman

Best Foreign Language Film
Biutiful
The Concert
The Edge
I Am Love
In a Better World

Best Animated Feature
Despicable Me
How to Train Your Dragon
The Illusionist
Tangled
Toy Story 3

Stay tuned for the TV Edition…once I freebase some coffee and rip a salvia bong hit.

LINK LOVE: Gawker

Speaking of Cher, I’m pretty sure EW used one of her old faces for her doll. It’s uncanny!

Here we have BaBa being interviewed by renowned 800-year-old curmudgeon, Larry Ken. I’m assuming they left a Ken doll out melting in the sun for a few days to get that wrinkled King face down.

Shunned by classmates for being an outsider and just a plain old weirdo, BaBa visits her old school for sister Skipper’s graduation and takes the opportunity to let her freak flag fly.

BaBa scalped a couple Bratz dolls to make this dress before performing live at the Oak Room at the Plaza Hotel.

To film her magnum opus, “Telephone”, BaBa recruited fellow superstar, BarBeyoncé.

Raised in a Catholic household, Barbie was more than willing to shed her inhibitions – and her clothes – to make a profound artistic statement. The statement being that she’s kind of a slut. Luckily, she’s anatomically as well as politically incorrect.

To make her snazzy glasses, BaBa sold her prison bitch, seen coyly in the background, for packs of cigs. And cigarettes don’t come cheap in the big house.

LINK LOVE: EW

Though only out for a week or so, Burlesque may be yet another bomb in what has been a rather difficult year for Christina Aguilera. But at least you can’t blame the girl for trying.

Xtina was actually surprisingly good, but when you go in with low expectations, it’s not terribly hard to be impressed. However, she has a natural screen presence and did her best with a really awful and cliched script. And she sounded amazing.

Cher.

Cher.

Cher.

I screamed as soon as I saw her on screen, I admit it. The icon, legend and alleged biological woman is an old pro. She’s got some serious acting chops and the best parts of the movie were between her and Stanley Tucci. The two of them bantered like a seasoned comedic duo.  And the fact that Cher can emote without ever once moving her face was a triumph in itself.

Burlesque was fine brainless  entertainment, but the main problem was in the writing and direction, both helmed by Steve Antin. What should have been a high camp, showstopping extravaganza was merely a decent 2-hour Glee episode.

In fact, it begs to wonder what would have happened if Ryan Murphy had brought his whimsical touch to Burlesque rather than the “eh, all right” Eat Pray Love. Murphy understands camp. And so does Stanley Tucci, who plays it so gay a sequined Givenchy clutch purse falls out of his mouth every time he opens it. Which is just what the movie needed.

Though fun and featuring some good musical numbers, Burlesque is a bit of a waste of great talent. Alan Cumming was basically scenery. Julianne Hough barely got one dance number. And there was no duet between Cher and Christina. Not even a little improvisational harmonizing. That in itself  is enough to get Steve Antin a drive-by bitch-slapping.

It seemed like a recipe for a fantasia of faggotry:

1 heaping helping of Cher

1 crotchless panty of Christina Aguilera

Add a pinch of shirtless hunk

Stanley Tucci to taste

Voilá! GAY UTOPIA.

So what went wrong?

Okay, I will admit that I have not yet seen Burlesque, but it is at the very top of my list of things to do! Along with: “stock up on Four Loko”, “buy a fur for the winter” and my weekly “stalk Liza”.

But what about you, the rest of gay America? Were you too busy reupholstering your vintage furniture, or painting your newly constructed breakfast nook?

Or could it possibly be that Burlesque is just not worth seeing…?

Nah.

That’s cray cray talk! And I’m ashamed of myself for even considering it.

Well, I’m going to see it this week and will report back on my findings. I may be a little biased, but I’m already stuffing the Oscar ballot in Cher’s favor.

Christina Aguilera‘s had a hard year. Her album flopped. Her marriage flopped. She flopped Samantha Ronson. And then she sweated her way through a so-so performance of “Burlesque” in what one can only hope is a padded suit.

Sad.

But Christina is a diva. And every diva, to earn her diva stripes, has to hit rock bottom before she can rise from the ashes. It’s the rules. So will Burlesque be the bottom or the firey phoenix of a comeback?

Only time can tell. Luckily, Xtina’s got a Cher up her rapidly expanding sleeve. And Cher can turn back time.

The legendary entertainer has gotten to a point in her career and in her life where she basically says whatever the fuck she wants. Bitch has an Oscar and she will shove it so far up your rear end you’ll be tasting Moonstruck for days. So the old girl lets loose on a few topics.

For one, she forgets to refer to her transexual son Chaz né Chastity Bono: “My pronouns are fucked. I still don’t remember to call her ‘him.’”

But in Cher’s defense she never knows or cares who she’s talking to.

She reveals her bitter rivalry with Time, who is currently losing their little game of tag: “I think Meryl [Streep] is doing it great. The stupid bitch is doing it better than all of us! But I don’t like it. It’s getting in my way. I have a job to do, and it’s making my job harder.”

Cher is one of only a handful of people that can openly refer to Meryl Streep as a bitch. The rest of the list includes Robert Redford and Hilary Clinton.

And just to show that she’s not above winning laurels: “Sonny and I still aren’t in the [Rock and Roll] Hall of Fame, and it just seems kind of rude. Sonny was a good writer, and we started something that no one else was doing. We were weird hippies before there was a name for it, when the Beatles were wearing sweet little haircuts and round-collared suits…. We influenced a generation, and it’s like: What more do you want?”

She went on to say: “Those limey motherfuckers threw on some suits and sang about love. Real revolutionary. Meanwhile, I was wearing a fur vest and a blouse cut down to my goddamn vagina. If that doesn’t say rock and roll, you’re full of shit.”

Cher is a national treasure and therefore Burlesque will be a gift for all this holiday season. Personally, I know that I’ll be camped out the night before in a Bob Mackie snuggie complete with feathered headdress.

LINK LOVE: Vanity Fair

“Every woman has the ability or the drive to do it all and have it all,” Aquilera told REDBOOK, who separated from her husband, Jordan Bratman, just two days before the photos were taken. ”Men aren’t as strong and capable as we are. We’re machines.”

You said it girl! Now get yourself a new stylist and you’ll really have the power.

LINK LOVE: REDBOOK

What is it about Sam Ronson? Is she like the training wheels for young lezzy Hollywood?

Or is Aguilera just a lady-loving lady who uses her hypersexy image to get away with her sapphic seductions?

And lastly, who else thinks the third person in this alleged menage a trois was Cher?

Cher is 800 years old and she looks not a day over 35 in the new stills from Burlesque. The Oscar-winning diva has been successfully turning back time since the beginning of time itself. Unfortunately we all have to wait til Thanksgiving to see the dark lady and Xtina belt it out in what will surely be the main reason to give thanks on that or any other day.

Fashion people love award shows, gives us something to gaga over/make fun of. Here is our list of the ten worst dressed celebs at last nights Golden Globes.

1. Mariah Carey in Herve Leger by Max Azria

What a mess! How many people did it require to get her to fit into this dress?

2.  Jennifer Aniston in Valentino couture

Jennifer needs to do something different to her hair, and wear something other than black with a slit!

3. Christina Hendricks in Christian Siriano

Way too many shades of red, with the hair, lips and dress…the ruffles add weight to her body and the boobs are so distracting and in your face!

4. Anna Paquin in Stella McCartney

Maybe it’s because I just don’t like her, but this full sequin dress is very overwhelming on her little frame.

5. Kate Winslet in Yves Saint Laurent

An overall boring look, I expected more from her!

6. Mo’Nique in Reem Acra

Not loving the gold, or the way it fit her, seemed really tight on top!

7. Julia Roberts in Yves Saint Laurent

I’m not a fan of short dresses on the red carpet, along with how boring the cut of this dress was, mixed with the overwhelming jewels, the entire look was just badly styled.

8. Courtney Cox in Victoria Beckham

A bit too safe as well, I always expect celebs to go all out when they are nominated for an award…

9. Heidi Klum in Roberto Cavalli

I always look forward to seeing Heidi, this time I’m disappointed, really don’t like the hair, color, or fit of this dress, looks like a last min choice…

10. Marion Cotillard in Christian Dior

Not sure why I don’t like this look, but the peek a boo slip is really bothering me.

Bonus: What the F*** is Cher wearing???

ALL IMAGES VIA JUST JARED

Rihanna, I love you, but your fashion sense as of late has been getting on my last nerve. Out of all the tops in all the world, you choose this ruffled, midriff-baring, tranny-mess of a number. And in Paris? Big mistake woman. What happened to your avant-garde, unique and fun style? Now you look like an extra from Clueless. I stopped dressing like Cher and Dion over a decade ago; now it’s your turn to follow suit. 

Thanks to Just Jared for the photos.

Performing ‘Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves’

Singing ‘Half-Breed’

On the Sonny and Cher show singing ‘I Got You Babe’