This is totally my laugh for the day…BRO! I want to say this is a parody, but you can never bee to sure. There’s just something about rhinestone t-shirts and blow outs that (for safety sake) have to be handled with extreme caution. Not enough fist pumping though!

via Buzzfeed

GQ single-handedly wrote the best article of 2009 in my opinion. GQ writer Devin Freidman produced an article titled “Emperor Du Fromage” (meaning Emperor of Cheese) was an up close and personal look into the life of Christian Audgier, which is in no way any less gaudy and vomit inducing than his clothes. I have never been so interested in reading one article in my life, and despite the daunting 11 pages of text, I was hooked. Here are some of the hilarious quotes from the article that I recommend all of you take the time to read:

“Or something like this,” he said. “Me on a horse. And there are ten horses around me with no one on them. On Melrose Street. Something like this.”

“What was the error Von Dutch made? Why doesn’t it really exist anymore? ‘Their mistake? To let me go. When I left, we were at the top of the moon. Now they are crash.’”

“A freestanding brick mansion with grand filigreed stone casement windows, a mansard roof, a driveway where your Bentley is parked in a designated space. The door is heavy and wood, with iron detailing; the front desk is paneled in leather; there’s a perfectly weathered Ralph Lauren–like heavy bag in the waiting room, a large moody black-and-white R&B-record-cover-style portrait of Christian in the entryway. And once I entered and could take in the whole balustraded open floor plan straight up to the skylight, I saw laid out on the white marble floor a stuffed albino peacock, a long leather bench with a fur thrown over it, and what appeared to be a precise replica of the chopper from Easy Rider, with the Stars and Stripes carapace and everything.”

Check out the rest of the story on the link below!

LINK LOVE: Men’s Style

Think of the two most annoying, overrated people on the face of the planet. Now, give them a little bromance time in St. Tropez, allowing them to pool together their obnoxiousness. The result: Jon Gosselin and Christian Audigier’s plan to collaborate on a kids clothing line. I’m not sure where the sorry excuse for a designer and the sorry excuse for a father/ husband (supposedly) got this awful idea, but one thing is for certain…two wrongs DO NOT make a right.  And besides, I’m not sure I know too many mothers who would allow their kids to even wear something touched by Jon Gosselin…

Thanks Just Jared and NY Mag!

Really? Is this Christian Audigier’s new ploy for boosting sales? Getting people drunk on guido armpit scented Ed Hardy wine so they buy more repulsive tees, hoodies and shoes? Roberto Cavalli Vodka is one thing, because hey, he’s actually a legitamate designer and you look classy as hell drinking designer booze. But Ed Hardy? I’m sorry, that’s just pathetic.

Thanks BuzzFeed!

Ed Hardy filed a $100 million lawsuit Monday against Christian Audigier for trademark infringement and breach of contract, among other things.

Apparently Hardy wasn’t getting all his royalties, and Audigier’s own clothing line used Hardy’s artwork without permission.

Why anyone would want the rights to that stuff, I’ll never know.

From the AP.

Despite my normally extremist opinions, I am choosing to stay neutral in this decision. I’m not going to say he was necessarily the best designer of the year, but he definitely wasn’t the worst (Christian Audgier wins this one every year in my book). Regardless, I do love Thom Browne, and I think that he does create amazing designs, but at the same time I don’t think I could come out and make the same claim that he was the best designer this year without getting angry comments and challenges against my intelligence. Congrats to you Thom, but I think you might have stolen this one!

Thanks GQ for the image.

Christian Audgier had a party for his daughter’s sweet 16, and if you asked me I would have to say the theme was skank? I’m sorry but if I could prevent my 16 year old daughter from looking like this when the time comes that would be great. To top it off Miley Cyrus’ boyfriend was there hunting for some (possibly) virgin poon. He’s so creepy. The party will be featured on MTV as part of My Super Sweet Sixteen. I hope someone gave her a gift certificate to the clinic, because I have a feeling she’ll be pulling the Jamie Lynn Spears int he next year or so. I guess I can’t say I’m surprised though, her dad designs the international skank uniforms (Ed Hardy), so there’s no wonder she looks like this.

Nice shutter shades douche!

Thanks Just Jared.

Not that wearing Christian Audgier doesn’t already classify you as a Fashion F*ck Up, but when you are dressing like a pirate hooker for Christian Audgier, you deserve to be sterile. AnnaLynne McCord of 90210 fame displayed her true lack of fashion knowledge by getting all dolled up in an ugly space pirate for Christian Audgier The Nightclub at Treasure Island in Las Vegas. Now I understand this is a one time this, but this is one time too many. So please Christian Audigier, stop ruining fashion and the people who are oh so close to it.

Thanks Just Jared for this train wreck.

Michael “Jesus Juice” Jackson, 49, plans to launch a fashion line with Ed Hardy designer Christian Audigier

“It’s still in the developing stages, but it’s going to be big,” an insider tells Life & Style. “This will be a major comeback for Michael. He’s dedicating a lot of his time and money to this venture.”

This is by far the most depressing news ever. Christian has been trying to work on  a line with a failed pop artist for some time (he was last seen courting Britney Spears).  Guess he finally got one desperate enough.

Expect the line to include face masks for children and cover up for hiding identifying marks on your penis.

Would you ever consider wearing a Michael collection?

Source JustJared

“Yes, just sign on my SMET shirt and we will own your soul  collaborate on an upcoming collection”

Britney Spears seems to have not spent enough time in the loony bin cause now the singer/wannabe actress thinks she can be a designer!!! Worse than that, rumors are speculating on truthiness worth STAR magazine that the pop fart will be collaborating with non other than seventh son of Satan designer Christian Audigier of Von Dutch, Ed Hardy, Smet, and Christian Audigier fame.

“I have known Britney for a long time — she is a good friend of mine,” Audigier tells Star. “We’re talking about working together, designing a line of clothing.”

Britney visited the designer in hell (Ed Hardy’s corporate offices in Culver City, California) on Thursday to meet with Audigier and while she was there she picked out some Ed Hardy duds she liked, which was pretty much the entire collection since trailer trash and the mentally disabled are the only ones who seem to love his shit.

“Britney came in to talk with Christian about working on a line together,” Ed Hardy’s Marissa McMillion tells Star. She then became filled with the spirit of Beelzebub, speaking in tongues, and wishing for an outfit that would make her look a thousand times worse than Anna Nichole Smith looks right now in her rotting grave.  Fortunately, Christian had just the outfit in his Spring collection…