INDIE REWIND: 10 Trends Americans Have Run into the Ground

Edited by Lester Brathwaite

When it comes to fashion, America has a checkered history of following trends. Sure, there have been the good — the Brit-Mod 60s, the wrap-dress 70s, the coke-bag 80s — but for every Mondrian shift there’s a Juicy Couture tracksuit. Whether imported or homegrown, these trends have created a blight on American fashion. By pointing them out FashionIndie hopes to do our patriotic duty to right the sartorial wrongs of our fore-mothers and fathers and build a better, fiercer future for the children. WON’T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN?!

Christopher Kane! How Could You Let These Shoes Happen??

Edited by Jessica Lapidos

This is severely disappointing. Upon horrified sight of this on Saks.com, reactions heard ’round  the FashionIndie office ranged, “Are those Crocs?” “Oh. God. No!” “Chistopher Kane?!” “Did he collab with Aerosoles or something?” I personally got surges of orthopedic, walker-bound, going to play bridge at the senior home, fused with those sandals you wore to the water park as a child, mixed with 90s dyed-to-match Bat Mitzvah shoes. C’mon, Chris, you can do better than that. Now just guess how much they go for. 

The Road to Progress: A Pennsylvania Middle School Bans Uggs

Edited by Lester Brathwaite

Could it be that people are finally beginning to see the light? And in that light did they manage catch themselves in an unsightly pair of Uggs? Seems so, at least in Pennsylvania where administrators at Pottstown Middle School have banned students from wearing “outdoor, open top boots.” The reason, however, has little to do with fashion or style. 

MUSE OF THE WORLD: Dior Plays Coy, The Sartorialist Is a Chubby Chaser and Facelifts Lead to Sleepless Nights

Edited by Lester Brathwaite

- Despite many already having anointed Riccardo Tisci, Dior will not announce John Galliano’s successor until the Fall. [Fashionista]

- The new television Wonder Woman has nothing on Lynda Carter, not to mention that her costume looks like a cheap Jeremy Scott cast-off. [Socialite Life]

Crocs Save Lives, Not Excuse to Buy a Pair

Edited by Rebecca Alexander

A little boy was saved by his Crocs…the shoes stopped electricity from passing into the ground thus saving him from electrocution. The chances of being struck by lighting is 600,000 to 1, and the chance for being laughed at for wearing these is almost 99%…your choice!

WTF!?! Crocs Go Converse

Edited by Kirby Marzec

The last I heard of Crocs, they were going out of business, but according to this image released by our friends at Racked, they decided to mate with Converse and breed these hideous Crocverse shoes. I just don’t understand.

LINK LOVE: Racked

Crocs Have Met Their Match

Edited by Saynt

They are called Oobees. They are house slippers with the sole of a sneaker so that you can wear them outside. You have been warned…

Porsche Is Suing Crocs

Edited by Rebecca Alexander

GoingConcern.com has discovered a lawsuit in Germany where Porsche is suing Crocs over use of the word “Cayman.”  Apparently, both Porsche and Crocs make a Cayman model (above).

Crocs Via Givenchy

Edited by Rebecca Alexander

If only designers took pity on crocs and helped re-design them, instead you can pay $170 for the above sandal, courtesy of Givenchy.

The Tragedy of Gladiator Sandals

Edited by admin

Ok. I don’t want to offend anyone, but look. Gladiator sandals. Why, ladies? I simply don’t understand. Do you want to look like an extra from Troy? Almost no one can pull off this shoe without looking like their bottom half comes from a different century. Ok, maybe this look can be totally rocked by a half-naked Italian model who spends her time being photographed by Guy Bourdain while draped languidly over obscenely expensive furniture, but this is not you. As much as you’d like to imagine yourself as a waifish, fashion-forward lady warrior, I’m sorry to say it, but you look awkward. Pairing gladiator sandals with denim shorts and a t-shirt from the Gap is a look that says “Hey, I totally read Vogue magazine, I get it, I’m trendy. I’m also an editorial assistant who makes under thirty thousand dollars a year and can only afford clothes from Marshalls—and unfortunately, as much as I’d like to strut around Newbury Street looking like I own half of Marc Jacobs’ inventory, I can only pull off looking like someone dissected Jason and the Argonauts and paired his bottom half with a freshman college student’s torso.” Is this really the message you want to give to passers-by?

Some trends are meant to be ignored. Maybe Mischa Barton can look good in it, but you’re not her. You’re a totally normal person. So dress like one. No Uggs (seriously, I don’t care it they’re warm and comfy. You can get warm shoes that don’t look like you stole them from an unconscious Australian backpacker. Also, especially don’t tuck your jeans into them. You will look like every teenaged girl I’ve ever seen. Be your own person.

Oh, and don’t even get me started on Crocs. The only people who are allowed to wear them are nurses. And nurses, since I’ve allowed you to wear Crocs, will you do me a favor and don’t put any of those cutesy little buttons on them?