- David Beckham covers the July issue of ELLE UK just in time to shove the Olympics down your throat. [Telegraph]

- Axel Dumas will take over as CEO of Hermès when current CEO Patrick Thomas steps down next year. [WWD, sub req'd]

- Tanning Vegas,  a mobile airbrush tanning company, is suing Lindsay Lohan for skipping out on the bill for two years of tanning — to the tune of $40k. But honestly, Tanning Vegas should’ve known better than to do business with a convicted felon. [Huff Po]

- Occasional actress Milla Jovovich is going back to her first love — the music — with the single “Electric Sky.” [Fashionologie]

- Francesca Eastwood, daughter of Oscar-winning director Clint Eastwood, burned a $100,000 Birkin bag with her photographer boyfriend Tyler Shields, thus putting thousands of fairy tears and unicorn horns to waste. [Huff Po]

- Calvin Klein‘s newly sober boy-toy Nick Gruber let everyone know that he’s finally out of rehab via the poor man’s press release, i.e. Facebook. [Styleite]

- V Magazine dived into the dumpster America is currently wading through where they found Ke$ha and threw her on the cover of its “Americana Issue.” [WOWWOW.ME]

- Ashton Kutcher reminds us that at some point he was considered an actor with this spoof of Karl Lagerfeld for Pop Chips. Meanwhile, it would’ve been easier just to get the Kaiser himself, since he clearly has no qualms or standards when it comes to shilling. [Fashionista]

- Aquascutum has found a savior in Hong Kong-based YGM Trading Ltd. which will acquire all of the Brit label’s business and assets by May 9. [Vogue UK]

- Balmain decided to follow in Calvin Klein‘s dated footstep by getting in on the social media game with both a Facebook and a Twitter. [WWD]

- David and Victoria Beckham were forced to kiss in front of a stadium of screaming fans after they were spotted on the Kiss Cam at a Lakers game. Surprisingly, no one was grossed out by it. [The Cut]

- Christy Turlington (Burns) is launching a crusade against Mother’s Day. The super’s No Mother’s Day campaign is designed to raise awareness about the hundreds of thousands of women around the world who die each year from complications related to pregnancy or childbirth. [No Mothers Day]

- Macy’s is taking its bar III brand on the road with a series of  flea markets across the country starting this weekend in New York with the Hester St Fair on Saturday and the Green Flea on Sunday. [FI]

- According to British “lifestyle and entertainment show” Lorraine, this is Britain’s most beautiful face. Eh, she’s no Beyoncé. [Gawker]

- Prada and graphic designer Vahram Muratyan  came up with a  little gem of an ad campaign, “Parallel Universes” featuring their spring accessories animated with a heavy dose of adorable. [Styleite]

- David and Victoria Beckham made The Sunday Times annual rich list in the music category (are we really still counting The Spice Girls, kids?) having raked in some $32 million in the past year. [Vogue UK]

- Manolo Blahnik‘s collaboration with J. Crew, that the designer didn’t really know about to begin with, has been given a stiletto to the heart. J. Crew confirmed that it’s not happening but hopes they can give it another go the future. [The Cut]

- In other shoe news, Christian Louboutin is making an actual glass slipper in honor of Cinderella coming to Blu ray and DVD. It won’t need the trademark red sole since the  pools of blood will just collect under your feet the first time you even so much as trip on the sidewalk. [Refinery29]

- Gareth Pugh‘s costumes for the Royal Opera House production of the ballet Carbon Life — which also features music by Mark Ronson — and it’s safe to say this is not your traditional tutu. Which is perhaps the only safe thing about this. [Telegraph]

- While American Apparel is too salacious for the Brits, David Beckham is only “mildly sexual.” There may be a few million ladies who’d beg to differ. [Vogue UK]

- Karl Lagerfeld may have sent Adele a few “I’m sorry” Chanel handbags after calling her “a little too fat.” In other news, Karl Lagerfeld called me a “tawdry skank.” I’ll take my apology in couture. [The Cut]

- Tranny, get your gown! Disqualified and disgraced transgendered beauty queen Jenna Talackova may be allowed to compete in the Miss Universe Canada pageant after all. [Styleite]

- Unofficial sexiest man alive Ryan Gosling allegedly saved some crazy lady journalist with a pink wig — that somehow factors into the story — from getting hit by a taxi. [Celebitchy]

- The trailer for Whitney Houston‘s final film has hit the interwebs prompting the all-important question: where’s the goddamn posthumous Oscar? [MTV]

- David’s wife Victoria, however, knows exactly what she’s doing on the cover of i-D. [Telegraph]

- John Galliano resurfaced recently to fete the birthday of a close friend. And not a single Jew was harmed — it’s called progress, people. [Page Six]

- Beyoncé‘s twins made their first public appearance last night. [The Cut]

- Lindsay Lohan + Terry Richardson = CLASS. The two professional provocateurs teamed up for an unsurprisingly trashy photoshoot for LOVE Magazine. [Highsnobiety]

- The gays may soon be able to marry in California again after a federal appeals court ruled Prop 8 unconstitutional. But there’s still time to appeal so don’t start registering at Bendel‘s yet, queens. [Huff Po]

- Speaking of a disenfranchised subset of society: models. They have rights too!  They’re not sure what they are, but dammit, they have them. And now a non-profit group to represent them. [Racked]

- Michelle Williams took a break from snatching trophies to star in Band of Outsiders‘ latest campaign. [Paper]

- Miu Miu will debut a limited edition collection of 46 handbags during the major fashion weeks beginning with New York. Start coveting, kids. [Fashionista]

- One Million Assholes Moms is calling for JC Penneys to fire Ellen Degeneres, the face of the mass retailer’s relaunch, claiming Ellen’s sexuality does not jibe with the company’s image and that “the majority of JC Penney shoppers will be offended and choose to no longer shop there.” Well, they should know a thing or two about offending people. And maybe Penneys is remaking themselves so d-bags like OMMs can take their bigoted business to Sears where it belongs. [Towleroad]

- Don Cornelius is now popping and locking down that Soul Train line in the sky. The creator of the landmark show committed suicide today at 75. [Huff Po]

- Nicki Minaj‘s booty-enriched video for “Stupid Hoe” has been banned by BET. [TMZ]

- British GQ named “thuggish rapper-slash-singer” Chris Brown the worst-dressed man in the world. [GQ UK]

- This is what happens when you don’t keep your interns on a short leash and a diet of fear and caffeine pills. A former Harper’s Bazaar intern — perhaps incensed by the mag’s new makeover — is suing parent company Hearst for not paying her despite working there full time. FashionIndie‘s interns better not get any ideas into their heads that I didn’t personally slap in there myself. [NYT]

- According to David Beckham, his brood of boys are embarrassed by his underwear ads. Meanwhile, that bulge has been putting food in those little brats’ mouths for years so they would do well to learn some goddamn gratitude. [Telegraph]

- The mogul currently known as Diddy is being sued over his Empress fragrance by the similarly titled Empress Hair Care Products. Because there are only so many classy, royal-themed names to go around. [Fashion Etc]

- David Beckham‘s commercial for his bodywear line with H&M will debut during the Super Bowl, giving you all at least one reason to tune in.

- Betty White celebrates her 90th birthday today and as befits a TV and entertainment legend, NBC put together a little special featuring other people who continue to openly mock death. [Washington Post]

- It’s showdown of the has-been starlets! Lindsay Lohan and Megan Fox are reportedly vying for the made-for-TV role of a lifetime — on Lifetime —  as Elizabeth Taylor. [E!]

- L.L. Bean produced a Bootmobile that’s too big to fit the delicate foot of the Statue of Liberty. And good thing because I don’t want the symbol of this country in anything less than a stiletto, thank you. [Racked]

- The day before the birth of Blue Ivy Carter, over half of Papa Jay-Z‘s New York Rocawear employees were laid off for “economic reasons.”  Hey, someone’s got to pay for that $3500 lucite crib. [The Cut]

- Meanwhile, Momma Beyoncé‘s skin was apparently lightened for new promo pics for 4. Yawn. [Huff Po]

- Karl Lagerfeld, Marc Jacobs and others get the Squarepants treatment, courtesy of Dutch illustrator Mike Frederiqo. [Hint]

Maybe it’s just me, but doesn’t it seem like Mr. Beckham put a little weight around the waist area. One very funny reader pointed that he probably gained all the baby weight Victoria didn’t.

Photo: The Fashion Spot

Poised to rake in nearly $100 million by the end of  the financial year, the lady Becks is fitting into her sky-high “fashion designer” shoes very well. And she’s got her sights set on only one direction: up, up, UP. In addition to her younger, girlier and more affordable Victoria line, Beckham also has a denim and eyewear line, two fragrances and soon enough, she’ll even have her own Range Rover.

All the better to drive over the competition, flipping the bird while blaring “Wannabe” with the kids in the back. [Telegraph]

Resembling Victoria Beckham during her EA campaign days in that platinum blonde wig, Rihanna steps into Megan Fox‘s increasingly irrelevant panties as the face and body of Emporio Armani undies, while Rafeal Nadal continues to bend it like (David) Beckham for the fellas. [WWD]

1. Tom Brady ($31 million) and Gisele Bündchen ($45 million) – $76 million

Gisele continues to wear the pants – and the flats — in this family though Tom would like you to know he does stuff too. What it is, I don’t know nor do I care to, despite it involving a ball and a group of very large men.

Photo by James Devaney/WireImage.com To license this image (56265738), contact WireImage.com

“Over the past year, I’ve been developing my Bodywear range with my team and I’m extremely positive about what we have designed and produced. The final piece in the jigsaw was a retail partner who has the vision and capability to distribute these products globally. In H&M we have found the perfect partner to collaborate with going forward,” someone taught Beckham to say Beckham said.

The collection will debut February 2nd — just in time for that blight on society, Valentine’s Day — and will be carried in some 1800 H&Ms around the world.

Meanwhile, when is David’s better and chicer half, Victoria Beckham, bringing her wares to Hennes and Mauritz? I, and many other girls, need an affordably-priced body-conscicous column ASAP. [WWD]

- Lindsay‘s having fun again! If fun construes drunk-crying, sloppily clawing at a curtain and screaming about being deserted by your friends. Which, last time I checked, it does. [Gawker]

- And speaking of amazing crazy people, Mariah Carey‘s back! Making her first public appearance post-baby, Mimi took to — where else — HSN to talk about how hard pregnancy was (47 weeks!), push around the camera crew, debut her new British accent and trot Nick Cannon out for the lambs, while babbling about her wares some intern briefed her on seconds before air.

Seinfeld Says:

1. Mug

2. Ketchup

3. Bisquick

4. Pimento

5. Gherkin

6. Sauce

7. Maxwell House

Relive the George breakdown here.

What’s the most absurd celebrity baby name you eva done heard?

- Diva and pioneering androgyne Annie Lennox is getting a fashion retrospective at London’s Victoria and Albert Museum. I hope patrons have to literally walk on broken glass throughout the exhibit. [Style.com]

Laugh it up, Radcliffe, you’re next.

- Emma Watson continues to be perfect while showing that rarity among Hollywood actresses — genuine emotion — at the premiere of the 300th and last Harry Potter film. And she did it in Oscar de la Renta. Atta girl, steal my heart. [Jezebel]

- Also on the heart-stealing perfect superhighway is male super Jon Kortajarena who seriously hoofs it up  in the new ad for Kokorico, the latest Jean Paul Gaultier fragrance. [Oh La La Mag]

- Lady Gaga , a self-proclaimed “show with no intermission,” doesn’t speak German, but she can if you like. Either way, she’ll make as much sense as her recent column in V — a missive on reality versus fantasy. Short version, there is — surprisingly —  no line. [V Magazine]

- And the bride wore…TOMS? [Refinery29]

- Speaking of random ideas with little to no reasoning, Cedric the Entertainer is starting his own line of hats called, ingeniously enough, Who Ced?

- Megan Fox just can’t catch a break these days. After being replaced by professional stunner Rosie Huntington-Whiteley in the latest Transformers movie, she’s now been replaced by professional panty-wearer Rihanna as the face of Emporio Armani underwear. Sidebar, way to class up the brand, Armani. [Fashion Week Daily]

Vicks, 15 months pregnant with her first girl — who will, by the bye, be the best-dressed baby in the world so Suri Cruise, fall back — spoke to WWD about her new line along with her seemingly sassy “de facto chief executive officer” Zach Duane.

While Victoria envisions the line as representing her other, softer, less fierce grand diva bitch side, Zach tosses his weave back and tells it like it is: “We had to do something or we’d be a niche brand forever.”

The dresses were inspired by Emily the Strange and mix a very definite 60s silhouette with bright, vibrant colors, resulting in what Beckham refers to as her “most girly collection” ever. The Victoria dress line will also be less body conscious, with the designer’s intent to open them up “to women and girls of all different shapes and sizes.”

Aside from discussing her upcoming collection, the WWD article also offers an interesting portrait of the usually reserved Victoria Beckham. She comes off as just another “working mum” who likens the pressure to “juggling glass balls when you’ve got the kids and a husband to look after, and you’re passionate about your career.”

But the most interesting tidbit comes from Vicks’ longtime manager and Svengali, Simon Fuller, who explains Victoria’s ascent from the ashes of dVb, her joint brand with huzzy David :

“Very quickly we realized that she had a voice, there was demand, and more importantly, that she had her own brand that was very distinct from her life as David’s wife or them as a couple. We realized that the dVb brand name didn’t really work because they’ve taken very different paths, and what she stands for in the market is very different from what he stands for. We decided with the launch of the dress line that it would just be called Victoria Beckham and over a period of a few seasons, rebranded everything. DVb, as far as she’s concerned, does not exist anymore.”

Rather quietly and shrewdly, Victoria Beckham has carved a place for herself outside of David Beckham, the Spice Girls and her alien hyperbitch public image. And she did it with 3 kids hanging off of her and a 4th on the way — nevermind that she probably has 400 nannies and a full house staff. But of all the Spice Girls, who knew Posh would be the most successful? [WWD]

I’m not sure exactly what a bodywear line is but considering that promotion of it entails David posing in his underwear again, I’ll take it. Meanwhile, Homme, his third fragrance, is a collaboration with new licensing partner Coty Inc. and will start stinking up stores in September.

To go along with all this newness is a new logo designed by Alashdair Willis, also known as Stella McCartney‘s husband and founder of Announcement Creative. The hole stamped into the end of the name is supposed to represent a soccer ball…or a viewfinder which, as WWD explains, “can spotlight a product detail or visual flourish on various marketing materials.” Okay.

At 36, Beckham is nearing retirement age and branding himself is a deliberate attempt to ensure a future for himself and his ever-expanding brood long after the  announcer stops shouting “GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!”

“David and I have a number of ambitious and exciting ideas in development across a broad range of categories,” says Simon Fuller, David’s manager who is also the mastermind behind American Idol and a little group known as The Spice Girls. “The next 10 years will see David evolve into being recognized, not just as an iconic sports figure, but also as an important entrepreneur.”

As long as he’s in his underwear, I’ll recognize him. Ladies, am I right? [WWD]

Photos: Buzzfeed, People.com, Daily Mail

Duchess of Cornwall, Camilla Parker-Bowles

Carole Middleton

Frances Osbourne, wife of the Chancellor of the Exchequer

Lady Frederick Windsor

Miriam Gonzalez,wife of Deputy Prime Minister Nick Cleg

Princess Eugenie of York and Princess Beatrice of York

Princess Anne

Princess Letizia

Queen Margrethe II of Denmark

Tara Parker Tomkinson, English socialite and TV presenter

Sally Bercow, wife of the House of Commons Speaker John Bercow

Sophie, Countess of Wessex

Victoria Beckham

Zara Phillips

The Queen

Victoria will be rated on the below categories, five being the highest and 1 being the lowest.

Fit: 5

Appropriateness: 4

Trendiness: 5

Styling: 4

Shoes: 5

Hair: 4

Makeup: 5

Pose: 4

Confidence: 4

This look is so chic on Victoria, especially with the 6 inch Louboutins. I’m obsessed with the hat too. I suppose I was expecting something a little more exciting for her to wear to the Royal Wedding, but she does look gorgeous. Her best accessory is obviously David Beckham in Ralph Lauren.

The Official Programme (you know it’s official due to the British spelling) bearing the Windsor royal crest:

Which features the couple’s Official Photograph by Vogue staple, Mario Testino:

Okay, I’m just going to say it, this is adorable as all get out but Prince Will looks like someone is literally pulling that smile from deep within his anal cavity. That’s the look of love.

The programme also has the couple’s heartfelt thanks to everyone who’s been obsessed with them for the past few months. You’re welcome:

Note Catherine’s got that engagement ring in plain sight. Someone’s a pro.

The Royal Wedding Procession, in which we learn that said engagement ring belonged to William’s mother, Princess Diana and is a blue sapphire surrounded by a cluster of 14 diamonds worth over $400,000…you know, a cute little trinket:

Note that tomorrow is an official holiday for Brits, and since I occasionally lapse into a false British accent whenever I watch Absolutely Fabulous, I’m going to assume that that holiday is applicable to me as well.

The Royal Seating Chart:

I’m assuming the David and Victoria Beckham will be in the North Transept as friends of Will and Kate. Hopefully Kanye West will also be there– Ye is one of Will’s favorite artists and he’s rumored to be an unofficial guest. If West is there, expect him to be sitting next to the Queen as she’d have it no other way…and by “she” I clearly mean Kanye.

Easing on down the Royal Road:

Thousands will line the street as Will and Kate make their way from Buckingham Palace to their ultimate doom joy at Westminster Abbey.

And to ensure that everything goes off safe and sound, the Royal Security Squad:

The Queen also has her glock tucked into her royal support hose should anything go down.

Everything has been planned for Will and Kate’s Big Day, including my schedule: roll out of bed at 4:45, pop the bottle of champagne I’ve been saving for this very moment, don an appropriate hat, log onto Fashion Indie’s Twitter and wait with bated breath for Kate to stroll down the aisle in her (hopefully Alexander McQueen) wedding dress.

So join me, won’t you, tomorrow morning so can we live vicariously together through the Wedding of the Century and console me as I’ll be openly weeping at losing one more chance at marrying into the royal family.

Photos: Daily Mail

BRITAIN-WEDDING/SECURITY - Map of the Royal wedding route with details of security arrangements for Friday's event. RNGS (SIN01)

BRITAIN-WEDDING/GUESTS - Diagram showing seating plan in the Westminster Abbey for the families and guests of Kate Middleton and Prince William's wedding on Friday. RNGS (SIN01)

ROYAL-WEDDING/ - 3D map of central London detailing the wedding procession route. 3D cutaway illustration of Westminster Abbey. With illustrated factbox on the wedding and procession vehicles. With photo of Prince William and Kate Middleton. RNGS. (SIN07)

*The Queen, it should be noted, is a huge SATC fan, though. She’s a total Samantha.

- Flavor Flav, he always said he wanted to wear Big Ben as a necklace

- Michelle Obama, at least one of us will be wearing McQueen

- Cher, I really want to gay this wedding up and Elton John‘s been slacking lately

- Sean Penn, I have a thing for Madonna‘s exes

- Muammar Gaddafi, too soon?

- Lady Gaga, only so she can see what it feels like not being the center of attention

- Naomi Campbell, I already added blood diamonds to the bridal registry

- The girls of Sex and the City, I wonder if they can write me into the third movie

- Fergie, the one from the Black Eyed Peas

- And since I was a wee Kate, I’ve wanted The Spice Girls at my wedding!  Except Posh, I never really cared for her…

Lady GaGa oustide BBC Radio 1 Studios with her purple china teacup that she has been carrying around with her since her arrival in Great Britain London, Engalnd - 20.04.09 Mandatory Credit: WENN.com

Flavor Flav Fox Reality Presents "The Reality Remix Really Awards" - Arrivals Les Deux Hollywood, California United States October 24, 2006 Photo by Michael Tran/FilmMagic.com To license this image (11064695), contact FilmMagic: U.S. +1-212-812-4100 / U.K. +44-207-659-2813 / Australia +61-2-9006-1785 / Japan: +81-3-5464-7020 +1 212-202-7732 (fax) sales@filmmagic.com (e-mail) www.filmmagic.com (web site)

- No. Plastic. Hangers. EVER! Macy’s is trying to reduce the size of its stilettoed carbon footprint with a number of sustainability initiatives such as replacing clear, petroleum-based clear plastic hangers with black, matte hangers made from recycled materials. [WWD]

- The Twitterverse Is Abuzz! After self-described “Young Business Woman. Relentless Opportunist, Restless Optimist” Amber Atherton tweeted this pic of a label apparently bearing Carine Roitfeld‘s name, rumor has it the former Vogue Paris editor will toss her chapeau into the design realm. Though the skeptic in me thinks that label could easily say “Carrie Poitfeld”…especially since the garment seems to have been “Made in Korea.”[Fashionista]

Obviously, the ridiculously good-looking couple can’t keep their hands off each other.

“We were at a party the other day at my mum’s house and I was sitting on his lap. We’re very affectionate,” Victoria recently told Marie Claire. “And I looked at him and thought after being married for 11 years! We were the only couple who were even near each other at that party. We’re soulmates.”

Awww how fucking cute. I’m sure this kid will be just as gorgeous as the others.

LINK LOVE: US Weekly

Becks’ bags were up for grabs on Net-a-Porter UK this morning, and they SOLD OUT like Justin Bieber tickets at a little-girl-fest. The bags officially hit stores later this month.

Beckham’s new handbag line comes in six sexy styles and retails between $1,800 to $13,950. Look for them at Bergdorf Goodman, Neiman Marcus LA and netaporter.com.

I’m impressed. Anything this girl touches turns to gold bricks of awesome.

Victoria seamlessly bridged the gap from pop superstar to trophy wife to high-fashion designer. She is brand new to the couture game and was already nominated for a British Fashion Award earlier this year.

Can’t wait to see the continued evolution of the Beckham power couple, as they dominate the world.

[Link Love + Pic: Fashionologie]

Now this isn’t so much what Britney would look like if she was from the Midwest so much as what Britney will look like in five years. Hair looks good, girl!

How fitting, Sarah Jessica Parker next to a horse. I love the bridle she’s wearing though. Chanel?

After a long day at the secretarial pool, Jennifer Aniston (who actually would be married in Bizarro Midwestern Land) drops by the DQ for a qucik dinner of ice cream and salty tears.

David Beckham‘s dreams of soccer stardom just didn’t pan out after knocking up Victoria in high school. He settled down, working for Vick’s pop’s insurance company and has several mistresses, like this lamb:

Town skank, Tara Reid. Victoria’s seen her in the parking lot of the A&P and has more than once tried to run her down in her Chevy minivan.

Nicole Kidman is currently serving twenty years in jail for murdering her husband whom she claimed was a “latent homosexual.”

No, not this one. John Travolta is still alive and kicking after his third triple bypass and second double chin-ectomy.

Ah, yes, poor Tom Cruise. He came to a grizzly end when Kidman used a hot waffle iron to make grilled cheese with his face. Then ate it.

On a happier note, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony are doing just fine. They have twelve kids, and Anthony is 85% sure that at least half of them are his.

After years of living the single life, Ashlee Simpson finally managed to settle down.

She found an unlikely soul mate in Cameron Diaz, but hey, beggars can’t be choosers. Cam may not be the sharpest stiletto on the shoe tree, but Ashlee says she more than makes up for it in the boudoir.

Wild stallion and all-round bad ass, Johnny Depp, can usually be found riding his hog, shooting beer cans or gearing up for a good ole-fashioned lynchin’ with the boys.

As you can see, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are still quite the fashion plates. They even made these dresses! Not that you could tell. Ashley made hers from six discarded king size bed sheets. And MK wrapped a towel around her then tied it with electrical tape. Brilliant.

Paris Hilton, unfortunately lost her mind back in the fifth grade when she started showing up to class without any panties, speaking in a strange baby’s voice and claiming to have invented the phrase “That’s hot.” She’s in a mental hospital where she’s especially popular with some of the…more masculine girls.

Pam Anderson has done well for herself. A successful office manager at a funeral home, she gets all the embalming fluid she likes, which she then uses for throwing homestyle Botox parties.

Eyes were raised in town when Michael Douglas showed up with this young chippy on his arm, Catherine Zeta-Jones. But it turns out they’re just father and daughter who have an incestuous relationship. And that’s old hat. For a second, people thought she might have been Mexican or a Jew. Imagine?

A former Ms. Pine-Sol, Gwen Stefani still has her looks, even if she’s keeping them in her hair and cleavage. But she learned that “a woman’s beauty is the only thing she has or ever will have and once that’s gone, she might as well down a bottle of Ajax and wait for Jesus to come and take her back to Heaven in his divine pick-up truck.” Words of wisdom from her mama:

Sharon Stone. 80 years old and doesn’t look a day over 69.

In Touch Weekly have all the details from lady of the night Irma Nici.

The high-class street walker is claiming that she had sex with Beckham five times in 2007. Her’s what she has to say…

“It was a high. All of these women dream of being with him, and I got to hook up with him. It was very exciting.”

Here are some of the highlights:

• Her rate was $10,000/night
• Beckham paid for a threesome and didn’t use protection
• Beckham made fun of Posh’s weight while with Irma
• Beckham was a “very gentle and kind” lover
• Nici gave him a 7.5/10 on the lover rating scale
• Beckham used lotion to pleasure himself, but it was scented, and burned him. (Guess it’s not smart to wank it like Beckham)
• Beckham is “more of a butt man than a breast man”

Do U think David Beckham is going to become the next Tiger Woods?

Do you think Posh will believe this or that more girls might come clean?

LINK LOVE:David Beckham to design menswear collection

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Rumours were rife a while back regarding David Beckham’s would-be dip into menswear design, but now that Victoria Beckham has successfully launched her re-branded denim line under the VB label, it would seem she’s finally brought her husband on board.
According to the weekend’s papers here in the UK, Victoria has persuaded David to design a …

LINK LOVE:David Beckham to design menswear

1. Hugh Jackman

This Father from Oz surely deserved his title of “Sexist Man of the Year” from People Magazine. He has two adopted kids, a boy and a girl,whom is always seen about town with.

2. Matthew Mcconaughey

Remember when Matthew was the hottest bachelor in the world who seldom wore a shirt?   Well it is still hard to find a picture with a shirt on him but his bachelor days were over when his long time girlfriend Carmila Alves gave birth to their 2 kids.

3. Ricky Martin

This Puerto Rican papi has recently come out as a homosexual and no one was really surprised. He has two twin boys from a surrogate mother.

4. Tom Brady

This DILF happens to be married to one of the hottest MILFs in the world, Gisele Bundchen. They have a kid together, and Brady has another from a previous girlfriend.

5. Gavin Rossdale

Mr. Gwen Stefani is quite attractive. He has his own career as a musician and actually is pretty good.

6. Ryan Phillippe

This single dad has been steaming up screens since the 90′s. After his relationship with actress Reese Witherspoon ended he still kept joint custody of his kids.

7. Usher

This dad makes us say OMG! (Sorry I had to.) Usher has two boys with his ex wife meaning that he is single.

8. Christopher Meloni

This Law and Order: SVU hunk has to be one of the oldest , but still sexiest on this list. I wonder how many people will stop watching after he leaves next season.

9. David Beckham

This is the 2nd list he’s been on this week so you know that means he has something going on.

10. President Obama

If you think power is hot than you must be creaming yourself over the ruler of the free world. I salute you commander in chief.

Ref: SPL7642 041107
Picture by: Ray Nichols / Splash News

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He is the obvious favorite and why not, this Portuguese stud’s new images for Armani underwear are steaming up the web.

2. Thierry Henry (France)

This French footballer is the total boy next door who had an amazing body and was the captain of the soccer team. That smile is enough to make you melt.

3. Carlos Bocanegra (USA)

This proves that the US team can have some lookers too.

4. Tim Cahill (Austrailia)

I know many people who wouldn’t mind taking a trip down under.

5. Mario Gomez (Germany)

How do you say nice ball in German?

6. Cesc Fabregas (Spain)

Caliente!

7. Fabio Cannavaro (Italy)

This Italian stallion looks so good in his undies that he and his team got to be in an D&G underwear ad.

8. Roque Santa Cruz (Paraguay)

I’ve never wanted to go to Paraguay, but if the people look lie this then sign me up first class.

9. David James (England)

He surely brightens up those dark UK days.

10. David Beckham

He is undoubtedly the king of modern day soccer, no matter how he plays. He isn’t playing at this year’s World Cup, but there was no way he wasn’t making this list.

Fußball Bundesliga 34. Spieltag: FC Bayern München - VfB Stuttgart am Samstag (23.05.2009) in der Allianz-Arena in München. Der Stuttgarter Spieler Mario Gomez geht nach dem mit 2:1 verlorenen Spiel vom Platz. Foto: Bernd Weißbrod dpa/lby (Achtung Sperrfrist! Die DFL erlaubt die Weiterverwertung der Bilder im IPTV, Mobilfunk und durch sonstige neue Technologien erst zwei Stunden nach Spielende. Die Publikation und Weiterverwertung im Internet ist während des Spiels auf insgesamt sechs Bilder pro Spiel begrenzt.) +++(c) dpa - Bildfunk+++

This happens to be one of my favorite Star Wars scenes  and by some kind of movie magic they included David Beckham and Snoop Dogg.

LINK LOVE: Guest of a Guest

Gorgeous photo of the two of them…Not sure what the fragrances smell like, does anyone own this stuff?LINK LOVE: LifeFiles

This one is for Becks. Who happens to share a name with this extremely greased up footballer. Check out the full David LaChapelle images and the amazingly sexy spread after the jump.

It’s David Beckham. Don’t you love the Victoria tee at the end…

LINK: Posh Putting On The Pounds To Get Preggers?

Add Your Own Stories on ENVY The Fashion Network

Lapo Elkann is a name that most instantly recognize, as he has been called one of the best dressed men in the world. Nicknamed “Lapo of luxury,” he was “inducted” into Vanity Fair’s Best Dressed Hall of Fame in 2009. He has graced the covers and has been featured in a slew of magazines and blogs.

David Beckham hits the cover of Russia GQ. I’m not sure what look he was going for but it seems a bit off from sexy. It looks more like what it would look like if they decided to reboot Indiana Jones with a CGI’d Harrison Ford.

Filing this one under things only pedo’s would appreciate. A diaper company in South Korea decided it would be a good idea to imitate the popular David Beckham for Armani ads to sell their diapers. Greased up Beckham in underwear = hot. Greased up kid in underwear = not.

And since we all know you love Beckham, here’s the original advertisement this Korean ad tries to imitate.

David and Victoria Beckham are the faces of his/hers version of 10 Magazine. This issue has a 40 page editorial of the couple, David interviews about his collection for Adidas while Victoria claims she’s the same size as J.Lo.

LINK LOVE: NY Mag

Some crazed Italian reported decided to get to the bottom of David Beckham’s “impressive” size in his Armani ads by doing some investigative reporting. Basically, she grabs his crotch and determines that he’s “small”. Sorry ladies, video after the jump.

Johnny Depp is on top of the GQ’s annual list of the 25 Most Stylish Men in the World. Robert Pattinson, David Beckham, and Jay-Z all made list as well.

LINK LOVE: PopCrunch

We’ve got your exclusive first look at the Adidas X Star Wars commercial featuring David Beckham and Snoop Dogg. I WANT NOW!!! More shots of the shoes after the jump.

David Beckham has a new tattoo on his right abdomen. It is based on a portrait of Jesus by artist Matthew R. Brooks named The Man of Sorrows. His transformation to a street hustling super thug is nearly complete.

LINK LOVE: NYDN

Katie Holmes is considering getting a tattoo in honor of her hubby, after being inspired by Victoria Beckham’s decision to get inked for her ten-year anniversary to David Beckham. Cuz love is never enough!

LINK LOVE:  The Cut

Can’t argue with sex appeal, and David Beckham just oozes it!

Image via Just Jared

David and Victoria Beckham are fronting the ad campaign for their namesake dvb fragrances (which include 10 scents in total).

LINK LOVE: beautyconfessional

OMG, not sure if this makes it easier or harder to have sex with someone who is obviously not David Beckham…

‘Madrid, Spain’s Thyssen-Bornemisza museum will start selling the prophylactics later this month as part of an exhibition called Tears of Eros.’

Thanks ICYDK