By the bye, yes Blue Ivy Carter is credited as the featured artist on this track. Let the pressure for messiah-like stardom begin.

My buddy DJ NVM, the resident DJ over at the Sunday pool parties at the Gansevoort Park Avenue, has been telling me about his party for a while now… but after a bit of convincing by the guest DJs Steve Aoki & Marshall Barnes did I finally take a trip over there (reason being I’m usually way too exhausted after a weekend of Hamptons raging to move on a Sunday).

Let me tell you, this is no ordinary pool party. The chicks are HOT. The guys even HOTTER. And when you get that many HOT people together and feed them alcohol for hours under the summer sun, you’re going to get one amazing PRETTY & PLASTERED gallery…

Pretty & Plastered:

The following photos were all taken at The Gansevoort Park Avenue in NYC

View all photos at www.kirillwashere.com and follow me on twitter @KirillWasHere!

“During the BET Awards in 2006 I witnessed the makings of a real relationship between two overly focused individuals willing to sacrifice and make time for each other in the midst of accomplishing their personalized greatness.”

Translation: During the BET “Awards” in 2006, I witnessed the fabrication of a relationship between a gaggle of agents, publicists and Tina and Matthew Knowles to augment Jay Z and Beyoncé’s personalized greatness.

“I was the personal assistant to Beyonce while she prepared for the debut of her new single Deja Vu. I can recall having the song on repeat throughout the duration of my flight from Chicago to LA and feeling captivated by the 808′s and horns. There was something about the song that made me feel as if I were being transported to another place all in the name of love.”

Translation: I was Beyoncé’s assistant’s hairdresser’s best friend’s third cousin while she prepared for her new single “Déjà Vu.” I can recall having the song on repeat through the duration of a bus ride to get my hair did and couldn’t help thinking “This sounds a lot like ‘Crazy in Love’ if ‘Crazy in Love’ kind of sucked.”

“I sat there in amazement as I watched Beyonce go over every step as if her life depended on it. I’d heard all the stories and rumors that she was evil and possibly the daughter of Satan but none of that surfaced.”

Translation: I sat there in amazement as I watched Beyoncé go over every step because her life depended on it (Matthew was backstage eying her with his switch). I’d heard all the stories and rumors that she was evil and possibly the daughter of Satan. And they’re all true.

“He [Jay] said hi to her mom and mentioned that he wanted to fake [sic] her (Beyonce) out and say he wasn’t coming just to surprise her and it worked. The two clicked instantly and started rehearsing but not before a hint of comfort was relaxed on their faces as they found solace within each others arms. ”

Translation: He [Jay] offered his sacrifice of a beheaded former member of Destiny’s Child to her mom and mentioned that he and B were contractually obligated to go out on a “date” this month. The two clicked instantly and started rehearsing but not before Tina sewed Beyoncé into her silver lamé House of Dereon slutty cheerleader  costume and they found solace within their Blackberrys.

Link Love: Such Is Life

With the exception of that one time I was a guest of the Tyra Banks show, I really have never seen it. My guess is that it’s all about Tyra and her wacky adventures in Discount Fashionland, which is why I believe she felt the need to pose around Soho in high heels from DSW and last seasons Herve Ledger dress. Either that or she’s auditioning for a role in Destiny’s Child the movie.

QUICKLINK: TyTy Baby’s Soho photoshoot

Since it’s freezing in Boston today, I decided to do some posts in front of the TV today. I decided to watch Bravo’s The Fashion Show for the first time ever today, which is what has spawned this post of confusion. Why in the hell is Kelly Rowland the host? What fashion credibility does she even have, because we have all seen the camo laden “Survivor” video. I think this really takes away from the legitimacy of the show a lot.

What do you think indies, with all the fashion people who would clearly love to be a part of this show, Why would they chose Kelly Rowland?

Warning: HSN products cause nausea, scabies, the cancers, the crazies and a big ol booty. Click at your own risk – Tina Knowles HSN collection

I lovez you Tina!

Indies, in case none of you received the note I sent via carrier pigeon, I personally have a crush on Mrs. Tina Knowles *singing Here’s to you Mrs Robinson/Jesus loves you more than you will know*. Hot old chicks rock! However, anytime anyone starts peddlin’ wares on HSN, my spidey sense starts tingling and I get a huge rash on my butt the shape of Texas. We all know that the whole House of Dereon thing hasn’t gone so well since most of what they’ve put out can only be worn on stage ‘Survivin’ with Destiny’s Child or pattin yo weave on the set of Single Ladies. Don’t get me wrong, I’d still drank Beyonce’s bathin’ water after a rough and sweaty world tour but Dereon wasn’t what I thought it would be………………or actually it’s exactly what I thought it would be *sad face/disappointment in life*.

Everything’s just so random and the word “cohesive” is like a child no one wanted but no one had the courage to get rid of so they just ignore it. I stang by how yummi Tina Knowles make me feel on the inside part but it’s time to put this project sleep in the sweet rest of Jesus and euthanasia. Of course, I am talking about HSN and that’s where fashion is murdered slowly along with your salary. Which brings me to my 2nd point, I’ll be starting an HSN rehabilitation group soon……..not for me, for you………really………..don’t judge Z’maji!

-Z’maji of HauteBlogXOXO

The Fanta Girls

TLC

3LW

The Spice Girls

Destiny's Child

The Cheetah Girls

The Pussycat Dolls

The Saturdays

Please ladies, the love is beautiful and all, but leave the matchy matchy up to identical twins, the junior class powderpuff football team or a dance group on America’s Best Dance Crew!