Before

With boyfriend Devendra Banhart.

After: At Cannes

This heavily talked about celeb (mainly due to her public breakup with boyfriend of 6 months, Devendra Banhart), Natalie Portman has come a long way both with her career and style. From awkward teenager with a shaved head (although it was for a movie role) to a teenage role model (having graduated from Harward with a psych degree) to a bonafide style icon.

One great perk of dating a celebrity, other than getting some celebrity poon, is coercing them to star in your music video. Hairy, hippie musician Devendra Banhart has done just that with main squeeze Natalie Portman. Take a look.

They are my favorite fashion couple currently. What at first would seem like an odd couple, has become the perfect fashion couple. They complaiment each other perfectly. Here are some of Natendra or Devendralie best fashion moments, thus far.

[the fashion spot]

So I try to be all cool New Yorker about celebrities … I know they’re just regular people. But they’re regular people that are hyper-attractive that pretty much everyone recognizes. So when they actually seem like interesting, intelligent people, I’m all the more drawn to them—but I have some respect (for them and for myself) so when I see celebs I leave them alone.

However, if I were ever to run into Natalie Portman and her beau Devendra Banhart, I might a) melt b) squeal c) lose my ability to speak. I have a total girl-crush on Natalie and a real crush on Devendra and together … yum. They just seem so cool, and they’re so pretty and adorable together … and … that’s the only coherent thought you’re going to be getting out of me for now …

Seriously Nat, what is this thing. I know love is blind, but I’m not so here are the ten things wrong with your new man.

1. He looks like that fat bouncer dude from all the Misshapes party. You know, that door bitch that always smelled like b.o. and wore pants four times smaller than his waist line. Yeah, him only a lot thinner.

2.  He stole your sunglasses…

3. And your handbag…

4. And your jeans…

5. Plus he’s wearing a peacoat. Only sailors or those railed in the ass by them wear peacoats.

6. He’s smelly (okay that might not be true, but he looks it)

7. Plus his career’s a joke. No one dates rockstars these days. It’s all about sports stars and internet start-up geniuses (aka Daniel Saynt, Rebecca doesn’t have to know ;-P  )

8. Did I mention the bag…

9. He looks like a white Andre J.  Actually he might be Andre J in drag. Man-drag.

10. Your parents hate him. I know they must.

P.S. I must hate. It’s against my nature not to.

Also before anyone starts developing cute nicknames for you two, here’s mine, BanMan as in ban this man out of your life… at least until your stylist comes and helps him