600 miles away from my precious puppy, I’ll admit that I occasionally talk to the dog on the phone. After I’m done telling Momsey and Popsicle (yes, I do call them that) about my weekend, they put the phone up to Oreo’s ear, I talk to him and Momsey later reports that he wagged his tail the whole time. A little bit wacky? Yes. Harmless? Completely. But when you start collecting follicles of Fido’s fur to have spun into yarn and eventually knitted into a sweater, you’ve entered a whole new psychotic playing field. Honestly, if you have that much time on your hands so as to pick up each individual hair from couches, car seats, hardwood floors, jeans and socks, you need a hobby…and fast. And don’t you idiots realize that dog fur reeks when it gets wet?! A couple from England went as far as shaving their dogs after they died and made sweaters! If you insist on wearing Fido while walking Fido, don’t come crying to me when all of the dogs at the puppy park start sniffing your butt.

A picture of your pup is worth 1000 words. A sweater of your pup is worth 1000 pukes…and 1000 reasons to die cold, lonely and friendless.

Courtesy of SFGate!