Oh, Doodle Bra, you are all kinds of wrong.

In a quest to empower girls, the geniuses behind Doodle Bra claim their product “creates positive responses entertaining and engaging young ladies and girls while meeting the needs of essential under garments and providing a way for self expression at the same time.”

Um … aren’t we supposed to encourage young girls that their bras are not entertainment? Isn’t that where strippers come from?

Selling for just $9.98, the Doodle Bra comes with non-toxic markers (that erase in the washing machine) and stencils.

When I was 12 they sold teddy bears that did this same thing. Also – paper! I think paper still exists, too.

Here are some feats that Doodle Bra can reportedly accomplish:

-”creates positive responses entertaining and engaging young ladies and girls while meeting the needs of essential under garments and providing a way for self expression at the same time.”
-”allows the customer to maximize their spending power by receiving happiness and entertainment for the value of purchasing the necessary garments alone.”

The press release also contains the phrase “countless uses of pleasure and happiness.”

Speaking of which, what about the fact that no one can see your work of art unless you lift up your shirt?!