So my good friend/famed NYC DJ (and now official Rock Of Love winner) Lindsay Luv called me mid afternoon yesterday asking what my costume plans were for our Soho Grand Hotel party, and since I was costume-less I was open to suggestions. Little did I know I ended up being the most convincing Bret Michaels besides the Ed Hardy toting weirdo himself. I love you Lindsay, but had you been anyone else who called me I would not have been able to make this happen.

Imagine two douches solving crimes for Christian Audigier and you’ve got The Ed Hardy Boys, a hilarious sketch that reminds us all of fashions undeniably popular black sheep. Here’s their latest adventure, The Case of Missing Sick Belt Buckle.

John Gosselin withdrew $200,000 from his joint bank account after being specifically ordered not to. Here’s what Buzzfeed thinks he’s probably spending it on:

1. 4,000 Ed Hardy Trucker Hats

2. 25, 673 (4oz.) Cans of Axe Body Spray

3. 13, 333 Brass ‘Truck Nuts’

4. 2, 051 Embroidered Men’s Blouses

5. 322 Front Row Tickets to UFC Championship Fights

6. 626 Pairs of True Religion Bootcut Jeans

7. 8,003 Half Hour Mystic Tanning Sessions

8. 3,418 Affliction Shirts

9. 32,000 Puka Shell Necklaces

10. (And the only acceptable one) 89 Months of Child Support: The average is $280 per child, per month, which would make John’s  monthly payment for all of his kids $2,240. Should’ve thought about that before you cheated and then agreed to a divorce, Johnny!

I know this isn’t super fashion related, but I couldn’t help but laugh when I read it!

LINK LOVE: Buzzfeed

This is totally my laugh for the day…BRO! I want to say this is a parody, but you can never bee to sure. There’s just something about rhinestone t-shirts and blow outs that (for safety sake) have to be handled with extreme caution. Not enough fist pumping though!

via Buzzfeed

GQ single-handedly wrote the best article of 2009 in my opinion. GQ writer Devin Freidman produced an article titled “Emperor Du Fromage” (meaning Emperor of Cheese) was an up close and personal look into the life of Christian Audgier, which is in no way any less gaudy and vomit inducing than his clothes. I have never been so interested in reading one article in my life, and despite the daunting 11 pages of text, I was hooked. Here are some of the hilarious quotes from the article that I recommend all of you take the time to read:

“Or something like this,” he said. “Me on a horse. And there are ten horses around me with no one on them. On Melrose Street. Something like this.”

“What was the error Von Dutch made? Why doesn’t it really exist anymore? ‘Their mistake? To let me go. When I left, we were at the top of the moon. Now they are crash.’”

“A freestanding brick mansion with grand filigreed stone casement windows, a mansard roof, a driveway where your Bentley is parked in a designated space. The door is heavy and wood, with iron detailing; the front desk is paneled in leather; there’s a perfectly weathered Ralph Lauren–like heavy bag in the waiting room, a large moody black-and-white R&B-record-cover-style portrait of Christian in the entryway. And once I entered and could take in the whole balustraded open floor plan straight up to the skylight, I saw laid out on the white marble floor a stuffed albino peacock, a long leather bench with a fur thrown over it, and what appeared to be a precise replica of the chopper from Easy Rider, with the Stars and Stripes carapace and everything.”

Check out the rest of the story on the link below!

LINK LOVE: Men’s Style

Well…you guys all know how we feel about Ed Hardy, so it’s not even worth the time!

LOL. Blood Is The New Black is currently at the Pool Tradeshow in Vegas, and they got a surprise from Ed Hardy. Wonder if he was wearing a bedazzled fanny pack?

LINK LOVE: Blood Is The New Black’s Twitter

Um, I think the hook says it all, “Fuck Ed Hardy”.

So MTV has figured out how to replace Lauren Conrad. Her name is Jazmin, she has a fashion line, and she just might be the dumbest 20-year old in history.

Think of the two most annoying, overrated people on the face of the planet. Now, give them a little bromance time in St. Tropez, allowing them to pool together their obnoxiousness. The result: Jon Gosselin and Christian Audigier’s plan to collaborate on a kids clothing line. I’m not sure where the sorry excuse for a designer and the sorry excuse for a father/ husband (supposedly) got this awful idea, but one thing is for certain…two wrongs DO NOT make a right.  And besides, I’m not sure I know too many mothers who would allow their kids to even wear something touched by Jon Gosselin…

Thanks Just Jared and NY Mag!

Since our ‘10 Ghetto Fabulous Don’ts‘ was so widely popular/hated, we decided to create a list of the things white people do that we really don’t understand. We aren’t racist, we promise.

1. Sweatpants/Pajamas in public. I never really understood this, it takes the same amount of effort to put on a pair of jeans as it does to put on all of these things. Ridiculous.

2. Ed Hardy. This photo speaks for itself.

3. Oakley mirrored/rainbow sunglasses. When is it really necessary to be wearing rainbow tinted sunglasses?  White people love how these make them look like a surfer/snowboarder/DOUCHEBAG.

4. Jean skirts + leggings + UGG boots. I am STILL waiting for this “trend” to go out of style. If it’s warm enough out for you to be wearing a skirt, you shouldn’t be wearing UGG boots..if it’s cold enough for you to be wearing UGG boots, you shouldn’t be wearing a skirt. Pick one or the other, please.

5. Socks and sandals.  Look at how short that guy’s pants are! This screams tourist/dad to me.  Who ever decided that this was acceptable?

6. Humor state-themed shirts.  Somewhere along the line, white people decided that it was hilarious to use semi-witty phrases along with whatever state they lived in.  Thus, the humor state shirt was born, and has sadly not died off yet.

7. Stupid tattoos. Butterflies, tribals, skulls, barbed wire, etc.

8. Crocs. I don’t care if they’re “super comfortable,” Crocs are and will always the THE UGLIEST FUCKING THINGS ON THE PLANET. Why they keep inventing different styles (sandals, flats), I have no idea.

9. Cargo shorts. White people LOVE these.  But why do you need all of those pockets?

10. Critter pants. To me, these seem like a cross between cargo pants and pajamas. Either way, not cool. And they look exceptionally dumb with those flip flops.

Don’t hate me more than you already do.

Ugghhh PRPS, I have to say I am not a fan of well anything you have ever done. I will give you the benefit of the doubt and say that the flannel above isn’t bad. I don’t know I think PRPS has gotten too big for no apparent reason, and is speeding down the fast lane to Ed Hardy status.

Gallery: PRPS: Fall 2009 Collection

via Selectism

Really? Is this Christian Audigier’s new ploy for boosting sales? Getting people drunk on guido armpit scented Ed Hardy wine so they buy more repulsive tees, hoodies and shoes? Roberto Cavalli Vodka is one thing, because hey, he’s actually a legitamate designer and you look classy as hell drinking designer booze. But Ed Hardy? I’m sorry, that’s just pathetic.

Thanks BuzzFeed!

Yellowman claims that this is a REAL tattoo inked onto fabric, not like that Ed Hardy stuff…

So this is what happens when your staging a comeback, you start dressing like Madonna.

Ed Hardy filed a $100 million lawsuit Monday against Christian Audigier for trademark infringement and breach of contract, among other things.

Apparently Hardy wasn’t getting all his royalties, and Audigier’s own clothing line used Hardy’s artwork without permission.

Why anyone would want the rights to that stuff, I’ll never know.

From the AP.

Christian Audgier had a party for his daughter’s sweet 16, and if you asked me I would have to say the theme was skank? I’m sorry but if I could prevent my 16 year old daughter from looking like this when the time comes that would be great. To top it off Miley Cyrus’ boyfriend was there hunting for some (possibly) virgin poon. He’s so creepy. The party will be featured on MTV as part of My Super Sweet Sixteen. I hope someone gave her a gift certificate to the clinic, because I have a feeling she’ll be pulling the Jamie Lynn Spears int he next year or so. I guess I can’t say I’m surprised though, her dad designs the international skank uniforms (Ed Hardy), so there’s no wonder she looks like this.

Nice shutter shades douche!

Thanks Just Jared.

The Not So Bad:

Demi Lovato

Christina Aguilera

 Now normally we do The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, but due to the fact that no one looked good last night we had to change The Good to The Not So Bad. This time we had Christina Aguilera and Demi Lovato. What was holding them back form being good? Demi has terrible shoes, and it makes her look so short and young. Besides that she has a pretty classic look, and she looks very cute.

Christina looked pretty good, however her hair is worth forgetting. She almost looks like she has extensions just added to the side of a short haircut. Despite the hair, not too bad.

The Bad:

Rihanna

Annie Lennox

Rihanna looked bad as usual. Her hair makes her look like a rooster, and her dress looks like a table cloth with some tule thrown underneath. I’m really over her, she needs to change up her look.

Annie Lennox looked like a man, but that’s ok because she’s a lesbian and well unfortunately, it has come to be expected she’ll look like that. Regardless, she still looks like a poorly dressed man, and that warrents a bashing.

The Ugly:

Miley Cyrus

Ali Landry

Miley Cyrus is really starting to show how trashy she is dying to become. This dress fully explains why she is dating a 20 year old Ed Hardy model. Terrible.

Ali Landry looks like a pornstar’s draping labias. This bubble gum pink disaster makes me want to vomit.

Thanks to Fabulousness for the eyesores.