- Rooney Mara, Givenchy’s spring 2012 Haute Couture collection and the Oscars are a match made in heaven. At least that’s the general consensus. [Fashionista, NYT, The Cut]

- Speaking of award-worthy dressing, Leesa Evans, costume designer for Bridesmaids, took inspiration for the characters’ wardrobes from everyone from Forever 21 to Alexander McQueen. [NYT]

- Demi Moore was hospitalized Monday night, allegedly following an epileptic seizure. Moore is — also allegedly — seeking treatment for anorexia and substance abuse. [Huff Po]

- The most expensive T-shirt in the world may be made out of 16 diamonds and cost $400,000, but it still looks like something the Ed Hardy factory threw up in or around New Jersey. [Styleite]

- Jean Paul Gaultier sent models with Amy Winehouse-esque beehives down his spring 2012 haute couture runway. [Style.com]

Questions about HOUS? Visit the brand’s Facebook page or ask me on Twitter @CrystlMeatballs.

“Depending on customer reaction” — my guess, people are gonna freak the fuck out —  the Lagerfeld for Impulse collection will be available for six to eight weeks and will focus on “statement jackets, tweeds, novelty fabrics, and dresses,” according to Macy’s chief merchandising officer Jeff Gennette.

Cargo Shorts

Useful. Yes. Practical. Sure. Awful. You betcha. Give me a utilitarian article of clothing anyday of the week, but there’s a time and a place for a multi-pocketed cargo short. And that time is called hiking outdoors or robbing a 7-Eleven.

Maui Babe Browning Lotion: My all time favorite tanning oil is brewed by a family recipe in Hawaii. Used over SPF 30, this will give you that true brown, not orange, you crave.

Alba Botanica Coconut Dry Tanning Oil: Made with coconut oil and a substantial SPF, this all natural product protects and serves.

Clarins Sun Care Spray: With SPF 15  built in, and a non-oil base, this promises to protect from the sun and give you a natural glow.

Australian Gold Intensifier: With Colorboost(TM) maximizer made from carrot seed, banana extract and aloe, this makes and attracts color at the same time. Use over SPF 30.

No-Ad Style Dark Tanning Oil: It has an SPF 4, which is essentially nothing. But it’s non-advertising scheme keeps it cheap at around $6.50. Use over higher SPF.

Ocean Potion Xtreme Intensifier: Certainly needs SPF underneath, but it’s properties, including tea tree oil, help make you tan and hold it fast longer.

Ed Hardy Diving Dragon Spray Oil: Ed Hardy is of the GTL persuasion. But again, pairing it with an SPF will keep you looking less Jersey Shore and more like yourself, only tanner.

Bain de Soleil Orange Gelee Sunscreen: This product promises a deeper glow and a longer lasting tan. And it’s Paraben free, so you’ll at least be avoiding that kind of cancer.

Arizona Sun Tanning Oil: With an SPF of 3 and a whole host of tanning agents, this will get you brown. Again, use SPF 30 as a base so as to not burn to a crisp.

Banana Boat Protective Tanning Oil Spray: This had been a staple in my tanning ritual for many years before the time of Maui Babe. It’s got a solid SPF you can feel good about, and results that make you dark.

Disclaimer: Any oil use will attract the sun more so than just SPF alone. It can lead to more skin damage and leaves it more susceptible to the harmful effects of UVA and UVB rays. Sun bunnies, you’ve been warned. But we doubt this is news to you, so all we can say is tan responsibly.

1. Isaac Mizrahi

Though I live by Unzipped and gave Bravo‘s The Fashion Show a shot (even before the inclusion of Iman), once the mandals came out I just couldn’t keep my silence any longer.

2. Christian Audigier

Audigier would land on this list just for creating Ed Hardy, but religiously wearing it only cements his inclusion.

3. Vivienne Westwood

You know Crazy Cat Lady from The Simpsons? Dye her hair Carrot Top orange, throw her in a combat boot and call her Vivienne Westwood.

4. John Galliano

I’m less offended by his ringing endorsement of Hitler than by his penchant for gay pirate dandyism.

5. Kate Mulleavy

Turns out you can go wrong with all black, whereas a pop of color and a show of effort are always in fashion.

6. Jeremy Scott

Scott’s look says to me “Club kid who kept partying long after the trash was swept up” only Scott then rummaged through said trash for this jacket.

7. Patricia Field

Though she practically single-handedly created the fashion icon known as Carrie Bradshaw, Pat Field can give off too a bit too much sex in the city. Though kudos for rocking that Jessica Rabbit red hair better and before Rihanna.

8. Anna Sui

I saw Anna Sui on the street the other day…though it could’ve been a bag lady. Either way her China Bang was stunning.

9  Karl Lagerfeld, Perhaps a controversial choice, but the gay vampire look sometimes leaves me…cold.

10. Betsey Johnson

There’s nothing I want more than to see Betsey Johnson doing cartwheels in a ballerina tutu at age 90. Just because it’s bad doesn’t mean it doesn’t feel good.

- Speaking of perfumes that stink (kidding), Oscar-winner (kidding) Reese Witherspoon is shilling not one but three new perfumes for Avon. She wants you to live, laugh and love with her. And I want her to learn some better poses that don’t reek of cliché. Hopefully she learned a trick or two for her Vogue cover in May…which — shockingly — coincides with the release of her new movie. Well-played, Tracy Flick. Well-played. [Fashionista]

- Prince Charles might be in some dire financial straits as of late, or he’s just completely without shame…probably the latter, because he’s selling a 250-piece jigsaw puzzle of his son and future daughter-in-law at his official store. A.) He has an official store? and B.) Really, a puzzle? With all of England’s resources, he couldn’t throw together something a little nicer? A commemorative tea set? An Ed Hardy-esque motorcycle jacket with the happy couple emblazoned on the back?   [Daily Mail]

Sadly, this will NOT send a message to counterfeiters.

Known for rodeos and corn conversations at the local Wal-Mart, Abilene isn’t exactly a fashion capital of the world.

Three stores were responsible for trademark infringement on brands including Nike, Abercrombie & Fitch, Polo and Tommy Hilfiger, among others.

This is a start in the counterfeiting fight. But next time, the Feds need to focus on a more fashion savvy locale.

The only ones intimidated by this shake down were a handful of sleepy cattle.

[Link Love: WWD]

The pieces for women featured signature Christian Audigier motifs in strategically placed prints. Teeny bikinis bore tattoos across the apex, the behind, down the side, in color or monochromatic foil prints. Some studded styles and corset tops made their way down the runway as well.
For men, more elaborate tattoo designs were translated into colorful board shorts.

The ladies were styles with full curls and edgy dark eye makeup. This being Miami Beach, the models looked like they just stepped off a motorcycle right into the Cabana Grande.

Actress/accessories designer Phoebe Price outfitted the models with flamboyant feather hairpieces. (Slide Show coming soon!)

LINK LOVE:MIAMI SWIM WEEK: Ed Hardy Spring/summer 2011

Become a FashionIndie.com contributor. Subscribe to Envy.

2. The original scent for men. It’s got a super long description of the way it smells, but can be said simply enough as “the final effect is of a masculine floralcy tattooed on to wood that lasts and lasts.” That’s right, this shit doesn’t fade. Get it here

3. From the Hearts and Daggers collection, this scent contains a massive list for your nasal pleasures: “blood orange orpur, violet leaf and apple; middle notes of mango, apple blossoms and pink jasmine; and drying notes blending cashmere musk, amber, benzoin tears orpur and blond wood…” Get it here

4. From the men’s Hearts and Dagger’s collection, this scent is pure love, sex, and magic: Anjou pear, fresh basil and Martini accord; white pepper, papaya and rosemary in the heart. The base notes are Katsura wood, suede, patchouli and sandalwood. Get it here

5. From the Love and Luck collection, this scent contains a cocktail of hotness: bergamot, blood orange, red sake accord, black currant, pink peppercorn, nectarine, jasmine, forbidden plum, sensual musk, cedarwood, sandalwood and patchouli. Get it here

6. OMG WHO DOESN’T LOVE GIFT SETS. From Love and Luck, developed by Olivier Gillotin. Frankly, who cares what it smells like, LOOK AT ALL IT COMES WITH! I WONDER IF THERE IS A FREE GIFT. I HOPE IT HAS DRAGONS ON IT. Get it here

1. The entire family of Audigier brands include over 60 licensees  who produce everything from jewelery, chocolate, and even air fresheners. (And now Fashion Indie)

2.Christian was also the brainchild behind making Von Dutch a household brand.

3. He has opened his own Ed Hardy inspired nightclub in Las Vegas

4. There are lines of Ed Hardy beverages that include beer, sangria, sparkling wine, vodka, and energy drinks.

5.  Christian also goes by “The King of Jeans”

6. Crystal Rock by Christian Audigier features beautiful designs created by Crystal Rock Audigier, Christian Audigier’s daughter.

7.  Don Ed Hardy is known as “The Godfather of the Modern Tattoo”

8. His celebrity following includes more than 5,000 celebrities, athletes and musicians of all genres.

9. He wanted to follow in the footsteps of Mick Jagger, but lacked the singing voice.

10.  Christian Audigier has revealed he doesn’t like Victoria Beckham’s fashion designs and considers them “very simple.”

“A tattoo is an affirmation: that this body is yours to have and to enjoy while you’re here. Nobody else can control what you do with it.”

You’d almost be surprised to know that the Material Girl loves Ed Hardy.

Don’t like the “plain Jane” look of this Lamborghini? Spice it up with Ed Hardy decals (two sheets of decals included). Other great features of this Ed Hardy Lamborghini are working headlights, tail lights and horn all work from the remote control. A total must have, this Ed Hardy Lamborghini Murcielago R/C Car is available here.

This Ed Hardy by Christian Audigier Love Kills Slowly Tee is only $62, you can’t afford not to buy it! Available at Saks.

Here are my fave Ed Hardy caps, they are all so awesome and original.

Wish I was as cool as Jon, he wears Ed so well!

The Jersey Shore is bringing all their fist pumping glory across the world with a new slew of advertisements our only beef is that they didn’t include any tattoos or wicked cool patterns in their posters. Muscles + Gel + Tanning Bed + ED HARDY HOODIES = SEX. Everyone knows that…

Lilo shoots down rumors that she is designing a line for Ed Hardy via Twitter.

LINK LOVE: Mean…. What?!?

The news from E! is that Lindsay Lohan is collaborating with Christian Audigier to create a line of handbags. Obviously, we’re extreme excited!!! It’s been a while since some one produced a bag worthy of gifting to your least favorite frienemy.

Here’s the official word…

“Lindsay and the design team at Ed Hardy have mutual friends, and they knew she was interested in looking for a handbag license and partner,” our source says. “They thought she’d be a good fit and so did she.”

So far, it sounds like the collaboration is running smoothly. “As of last week, there are three collections in development and numerous more are expected,” our source says. “Lindsay is very directly involved with the project, and she’s always pulling things online and from magazines for ideas.”

So basically, Lindsay is on the rebound from being bounced from Ungaro, so she’s clipping magazines for ideas to steal and call her own for and undoubtedly lack luster collection of handbags.  Lindsay, please take a break from failing long enough for people to forget, we’re actually starting to feel bad for you.

LINK LOVE: E!

LINK LOVE: NY Post

Do you think Jwow thought her fur looked classy? What type of Forever21 made animal died to make this fur that is draping over her Ed Hardy reject tee? Now, who wants to take bets on whether her jeans are torn under her ass cheeks?

So my good friend/famed NYC DJ (and now official Rock Of Love winner) Lindsay Luv called me mid afternoon yesterday asking what my costume plans were for our Soho Grand Hotel party, and since I was costume-less I was open to suggestions. Little did I know I ended up being the most convincing Bret Michaels besides the Ed Hardy toting weirdo himself. I love you Lindsay, but had you been anyone else who called me I would not have been able to make this happen.

Imagine two douches solving crimes for Christian Audigier and you’ve got The Ed Hardy Boys, a hilarious sketch that reminds us all of fashions undeniably popular black sheep. Here’s their latest adventure, The Case of Missing Sick Belt Buckle.

1. 4,000 Ed Hardy Trucker Hats

2. 25, 673 (4oz.) Cans of Axe Body Spray

3. 13, 333 Brass ‘Truck Nuts’

4. 2, 051 Embroidered Men’s Blouses

5. 322 Front Row Tickets to UFC Championship Fights

6. 626 Pairs of True Religion Bootcut Jeans

7. 8,003 Half Hour Mystic Tanning Sessions

8. 3,418 Affliction Shirts

9. 32,000 Puka Shell Necklaces

10. (And the only acceptable one) 89 Months of Child Support: The average is $280 per child, per month, which would make John’s  monthly payment for all of his kids $2,240. Should’ve thought about that before you cheated and then agreed to a divorce, Johnny!

I know this isn’t super fashion related, but I couldn’t help but laugh when I read it!

LINK LOVE: Buzzfeed

This is totally my laugh for the day…BRO! I want to say this is a parody, but you can never bee to sure. There’s just something about rhinestone t-shirts and blow outs that (for safety sake) have to be handled with extreme caution. Not enough fist pumping though!

via Buzzfeed

GQ single-handedly wrote the best article of 2009 in my opinion. GQ writer Devin Freidman produced an article titled “Emperor Du Fromage” (meaning Emperor of Cheese) was an up close and personal look into the life of Christian Audgier, which is in no way any less gaudy and vomit inducing than his clothes. I have never been so interested in reading one article in my life, and despite the daunting 11 pages of text, I was hooked. Here are some of the hilarious quotes from the article that I recommend all of you take the time to read:

“Or something like this,” he said. “Me on a horse. And there are ten horses around me with no one on them. On Melrose Street. Something like this.”

“What was the error Von Dutch made? Why doesn’t it really exist anymore? ‘Their mistake? To let me go. When I left, we were at the top of the moon. Now they are crash.’”

“A freestanding brick mansion with grand filigreed stone casement windows, a mansard roof, a driveway where your Bentley is parked in a designated space. The door is heavy and wood, with iron detailing; the front desk is paneled in leather; there’s a perfectly weathered Ralph Lauren–like heavy bag in the waiting room, a large moody black-and-white R&B-record-cover-style portrait of Christian in the entryway. And once I entered and could take in the whole balustraded open floor plan straight up to the skylight, I saw laid out on the white marble floor a stuffed albino peacock, a long leather bench with a fur thrown over it, and what appeared to be a precise replica of the chopper from Easy Rider, with the Stars and Stripes carapace and everything.”

Check out the rest of the story on the link below!

LINK LOVE: Men’s Style

Well…you guys all know how we feel about Ed Hardy, so it’s not even worth the time!

Pic via Hollywood Tuna

LOL. Blood Is The New Black is currently at the Pool Tradeshow in Vegas, and they got a surprise from Ed Hardy. Wonder if he was wearing a bedazzled fanny pack?

LINK LOVE: Blood Is The New Black’s Twitter

Um, I think the hook says it all, “Fuck Ed Hardy”.

So MTV has figured out how to replace Lauren Conrad. Her name is Jazmin, she has a fashion line, and she just might be the dumbest 20-year old in history.

House of Jazmin, a show that follows around an aspiring designer who seems about as vapid and devoid of fashion knowledge as Ed Hardy, will be hitting the airwaves on August 18th. Jazmin considers her collection “sophisticated and chic” according to W (WHAT THE FUCK!!! W IS INTERVIEWING THIS CHICK!!! OFFICIALLY CAN’T WAIT TO SEE THIS PUBLICATION GO). We consider her collection a Rachel Antonoff RIP OFF.

Here are some more quotes from Jazmin, the “designer” behind Li Cari:

It’s, like, really versatile. There are pieces that you could see on a 14-year-old girl or a 50-year-old woman. And I really try to create timeless pieces that you don’t look back and say, ‘What was I thinking when I wore that?’ You know, stuff that you can pass down to your children.

So wait, you expect a 14-year-old and a 50-year-old to wear your stuff? You’re sounding more like Ed Hardy already. (We haven’t forgotten that you’re already one foot in the grave Madonna. That young latin lover ain’t fooling anyone.). Jazmin continues:

I think my biggest influence and inspiration would be Coco Chanel because just, like, the cuts and the fabrics and everything are so, like, my personal style. And so it’s so, like, exciting to see all of her work and how she started with hats, and when I was young I started designing, like, sketches of perfume bottles. I was just attracted to design in general and so then as I got a little bit older it, like, went, like, all the way toward fashion.

Like totally, like Coco Chanel, was like, so like, sophisticated and like an inspiration and like, amazing, and like I like design, like her. Wait that last like, kind of like, made sense, like thats totally never like happened, like before, like…. (Jazmin’s head proceeds to spin around and explodes.)

So basically, this show is going to be hugely popular, kicking everyone other fashion show in the history of times ass, and you will most likely be buying tasteless timeless garb from Li Cari soon. Follow the link for a preview video of the show.

LINK LOVE: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/nymag/fashion/~3/Oh4FRkTmQEM/meet_jazmin_mtvs_like_brunette.html

Thanks Just Jared and NY Mag!

1. Sweatpants/Pajamas in public. I never really understood this, it takes the same amount of effort to put on a pair of jeans as it does to put on all of these things. Ridiculous.

2. Ed Hardy. This photo speaks for itself.

3. Oakley mirrored/rainbow sunglasses. When is it really necessary to be wearing rainbow tinted sunglasses?  White people love how these make them look like a surfer/snowboarder/DOUCHEBAG.

4. Jean skirts + leggings + UGG boots. I am STILL waiting for this “trend” to go out of style. If it’s warm enough out for you to be wearing a skirt, you shouldn’t be wearing UGG boots..if it’s cold enough for you to be wearing UGG boots, you shouldn’t be wearing a skirt. Pick one or the other, please.

5. Socks and sandals.  Look at how short that guy’s pants are! This screams tourist/dad to me.  Who ever decided that this was acceptable?

6. Humor state-themed shirts.  Somewhere along the line, white people decided that it was hilarious to use semi-witty phrases along with whatever state they lived in.  Thus, the humor state shirt was born, and has sadly not died off yet.

7. Stupid tattoos. Butterflies, tribals, skulls, barbed wire, etc.

8. Crocs. I don’t care if they’re “super comfortable,” Crocs are and will always the THE UGLIEST FUCKING THINGS ON THE PLANET. Why they keep inventing different styles (sandals, flats), I have no idea.

9. Cargo shorts. White people LOVE these.  But why do you need all of those pockets?

10. Critter pants. To me, these seem like a cross between cargo pants and pajamas. Either way, not cool. And they look exceptionally dumb with those flip flops.

Don’t hate me more than you already do.

Ugghhh PRPS, I have to say I am not a fan of well anything you have ever done. I will give you the benefit of the doubt and say that the flannel above isn’t bad. I don’t know I think PRPS has gotten too big for no apparent reason, and is speeding down the fast lane to Ed Hardy status.

Gallery: PRPS: Fall 2009 Collection

via Selectism

Really? Is this Christian Audigier’s new ploy for boosting sales? Getting people drunk on guido armpit scented Ed Hardy wine so they buy more repulsive tees, hoodies and shoes? Roberto Cavalli Vodka is one thing, because hey, he’s actually a legitamate designer and you look classy as hell drinking designer booze. But Ed Hardy? I’m sorry, that’s just pathetic.

Thanks BuzzFeed!

Yellowman claims that this is a REAL tattoo inked onto fabric, not like that Ed Hardy stuff…

LINKAGE: theworldsbestever

So this is what happens when your staging a comeback, you start dressing like Madonna.

Ed Hardy filed a $100 million lawsuit Monday against Christian Audigier for trademark infringement and breach of contract, among other things.

Apparently Hardy wasn’t getting all his royalties, and Audigier’s own clothing line used Hardy’s artwork without permission.

Why anyone would want the rights to that stuff, I’ll never know.

From the AP.

Christian Audgier had a party for his daughter’s sweet 16, and if you asked me I would have to say the theme was skank? I’m sorry but if I could prevent my 16 year old daughter from looking like this when the time comes that would be great. To top it off Miley Cyrus’ boyfriend was there hunting for some (possibly) virgin poon. He’s so creepy. The party will be featured on MTV as part of My Super Sweet Sixteen. I hope someone gave her a gift certificate to the clinic, because I have a feeling she’ll be pulling the Jamie Lynn Spears int he next year or so. I guess I can’t say I’m surprised though, her dad designs the international skank uniforms (Ed Hardy), so there’s no wonder she looks like this.

Nice shutter shades douche!

Thanks Just Jared.

Demi Lovato

Christina Aguilera

 Now normally we do The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, but due to the fact that no one looked good last night we had to change The Good to The Not So Bad. This time we had Christina Aguilera and Demi Lovato. What was holding them back form being good? Demi has terrible shoes, and it makes her look so short and young. Besides that she has a pretty classic look, and she looks very cute.

Christina looked pretty good, however her hair is worth forgetting. She almost looks like she has extensions just added to the side of a short haircut. Despite the hair, not too bad.

The Bad:

Rihanna

Annie Lennox

Rihanna looked bad as usual. Her hair makes her look like a rooster, and her dress looks like a table cloth with some tule thrown underneath. I’m really over her, she needs to change up her look.

Annie Lennox looked like a man, but that’s ok because she’s a lesbian and well unfortunately, it has come to be expected she’ll look like that. Regardless, she still looks like a poorly dressed man, and that warrents a bashing.

The Ugly:

Miley Cyrus

Ali Landry

Miley Cyrus is really starting to show how trashy she is dying to become. This dress fully explains why she is dating a 20 year old Ed Hardy model. Terrible.

Ali Landry looks like a pornstar’s draping labias. This bubble gum pink disaster makes me want to vomit.

Thanks to Fabulousness for the eyesores.

What can now be classified as the “Old School” Ed Hardy, Von Dutch paved the way for douche bag promoting companies around the world. The hats were so ridiculously and obnoxiously over done that they were almost the perfect recipe for vomit. They had “cool” clashing colors and fabrics, and in no way looked good on your head. Ashton Kutcher was the Von Dutch master, and single handedly allowed the douche bag to feel comfortable outside the confines of his frat house, thus allowing them to spread their douche bag seed at beer pong playing dive bars across the nation.

Once in a blue moon you may actually see one of these post-college, homo-erotic d-bags playing grab ass with his “bros” in Hoboken, rocking a Von Dutch hat because an Ed Hardy hat would be his fifth Ed Hardy piece in one outfit, and even that’s too much for him. The best part of this whole concept is that the dude totally had to style his hair before he put the hat on though in case of an emergency.

Von Dutch, a pioneer in the douche bag industry since 2000.

Thanks Flickr for the images.

What do designer Diane von Furstenberg, actress Susan Sarandon and model Petra Nemcova all have in common? Sure, they are all multi-millionaires in the public’s eye, but these three stars, along with several others, are teaming up in Beverly Hills to host a benefit for the Somaly Mam Foundation. 

The Somaly Mam Foundation is an organization dedicated to rescuing, providing therapy for and socially assimilating victims of the sex slave trade in Southeast Asian brothels. Founded by Cambodian activist Somaly Mam, a survivor of sexual slavery, the non-profit charity strives to achieve its ultimate vision: a world where human trafficking is non-existant.

“I’ve committed my life to fighting this horrible scourge on humanity. Seeing innocent young women and children whose lives have been forever scarred leaves no doubt that they need a champion who is willing to invest all their time and energy towards eradicating the shameful practice of human trafficking.” -Somaly Mam

Tuesday night’s fundraiser, sponsored by big names like Tiffany Co, Glamour Magazine and Ed Hardy, will help raise money and awareness for this often overlooked, yet pressing issue. Thanks to Hollywood’s fashion and film cream de la cream, we may finally have a band of champions necessary to bring us one step closer to a world without slavery! 

For more information, please visit the Somaly Mam Foundation!

A newly trim (how does she keep doing that) Janet Jackson revealed her lingerie line, Pleasure Principle.  Working with Bruno Schiavi, and Aussie designer whose better known for his Dr.90210 collection, Janet’s line is an 18-piece lingerie set crafted from satin and lace.

What’s weird about his whole thing is how long it took Jackson to come out with a clothing line. Every celebrity under the sun is pushing something, so I guess it was only a matter of time before shit out a fashion line. Hopefully, this line will be a better Thriller than what we’re expecting out of her brother Michael when he collaborates with Ed Hardy/Von Dutch designer Christian Audigier on his supposed collection.

So weigh in indies. Do you care about a Janet Jackson lingerie collection or do all these Jackson collaborations just make you wanna Scream?

Michael “Jesus Juice” Jackson, 49, plans to launch a fashion line with Ed Hardy designer Christian Audigier

“It’s still in the developing stages, but it’s going to be big,” an insider tells Life & Style. “This will be a major comeback for Michael. He’s dedicating a lot of his time and money to this venture.”

This is by far the most depressing news ever. Christian has been trying to work on  a line with a failed pop artist for some time (he was last seen courting Britney Spears).  Guess he finally got one desperate enough.

Expect the line to include face masks for children and cover up for hiding identifying marks on your penis.

Would you ever consider wearing a Michael collection?

Source JustJared

“Yes, just sign on my SMET shirt and we will own your soul  collaborate on an upcoming collection”

Britney Spears seems to have not spent enough time in the loony bin cause now the singer/wannabe actress thinks she can be a designer!!! Worse than that, rumors are speculating on truthiness worth STAR magazine that the pop fart will be collaborating with non other than seventh son of Satan designer Christian Audigier of Von Dutch, Ed Hardy, Smet, and Christian Audigier fame.

“I have known Britney for a long time — she is a good friend of mine,” Audigier tells Star. “We’re talking about working together, designing a line of clothing.”

Britney visited the designer in hell (Ed Hardy’s corporate offices in Culver City, California) on Thursday to meet with Audigier and while she was there she picked out some Ed Hardy duds she liked, which was pretty much the entire collection since trailer trash and the mentally disabled are the only ones who seem to love his shit.

“Britney came in to talk with Christian about working on a line together,” Ed Hardy’s Marissa McMillion tells Star. She then became filled with the spirit of Beelzebub, speaking in tongues, and wishing for an outfit that would make her look a thousand times worse than Anna Nichole Smith looks right now in her rotting grave.  Fortunately, Christian had just the outfit in his Spring collection…