RANDOM COOL: Obama Gets A New Look

Edited by Saynt

After his first 100 days in office it makes sense for Obama to get a new look. Hopefully he opts for this oh so emo cut. It makes me happy.

LINKAGE: BT23690-2.jpg (JPEG Image, 600×600 pixels)

Top 10 Fashion Crimes (That Seem To Never Go Away)

Edited by Princess Glover

Walking down the street one morning, I see a young woman dressed somewhat professionally, as if she’s on her way to work—smart, black trousers, fitted white button up and unassuming black heels, typical of the “business casual” dress code. But what caused this mundane occurrence stand out in my mind, and what would be the catalyst for the following rant is that over what would have been a sensibly attractive ensemble hangs a dingy, grossly oversized men’s zip-up hoodie splattered with a gauche, nondescript print. Why?!? I thought to myself, and suddenly realized that such crimes against fashion seem to forever permeate the greater population and assault our senses on a regular basis. I just can’t seem to wrap my mind around why some people choose to look like shit, given the plethora of resources and pillars of fashion how-to at their disposal. There. Is. Just. No. Excuse.

These are some of the worst offenses, old and new that I think if eradicated, would make the world a much better place:

1. “No clothes” clothes. Let the world know how insecure you are.
2. Skinny jeans on fat people. Hence the word “skinny”.
3. Overzealous anything. It’s cliché, but damn true: less is really more.
4. Ugg boots. Why do people still wear these??
5. Ill fit. End the delusion. Dress your size.
6. Mariah Carey.
7. Missing the mark. You tried but it’s not neither here nor there. Go with what you know.
8. Head-to-toe matching. It’s old-fashioned, tacky, and hurts my eyes.
9. Intentional, unnatural whiskering/fading on denim. Still??
10. An ostentatious outfit and a meek disposition. Like the aspiring emo kid in skintight jeans who looks as if he’s been called fag all day. Own it.

Stop the madness.

I’m over it: Whiplash

Edited by Amanda Gabriele

Headache. Blurred vision. Nausea. These are all symptoms of whiplash, an injury caused by a severe jerk to the head. This impairment is typically caused by car accidents, roller coasters and intense inebriation. But haircuts have been the unusual and recent cause of whiplash, so people must be educated on its dangerousness. When your bangs are so long you have to whip your head around in a violent fashion to remove them from your line of vision, it’s time for a haircut. I’m not saying I don’t like long hair and “man bangs” because I actually adore the styles, but being fashionable doesn’t have to come with a side of painkillers. Sometimes you have to accept you have a smaller forehead than your friends and lose a few inches. But seriously kids, the time has come to remove the veil and take a look at the big scary world. Just get a nice little trim and save yourself from an unnecessary hospital bill.

Trends Banned in Russia, Domestic Violence Not

Edited by Rebecca Alexander

A new Russian law could make being an emo kid illegal in the eastern European country. Legislation is currently being formulated in Russia to heavily regulate emo websites and ban emo and goth dress style in schools and government buildings.

The new laws are apparently being driven by fears that these “dangerous teen trends” encourage depression and suicide. The legislation was presented last month at a hearing held by the State Durma, where critics claimed that the “negative” emo culture encourages anti-social behavior and glorifies suicide.

Emo kids were described as teenagers who wear black, have facial piercings and black hair with fringes that “cover half the face.”

According to Wikipedia, the term “emo” is sometimes stereotyped with tight jeans on males and females alike, long bangs brushed to one side of the face or over one or both eyes, dyed black, straight hair, tight tees, studded belts, belt buckles, canvas sneakers or other black shoes (often old and beaten up) and thick, black glasses. The funny part about this, is that this describes almost every person walking down the streets of NYC. 

Emo stereotypes include being “emotional, sensitive, shy, introverted, or angsty,” which is also a description of almost everyone at one point or another.

Funniest part is that Russia has the second largest problem of domestic violence. “Every hour in Russia, a woman dies at the hands of a relative, partner, or former partner, according to a new report on domestic violence by Amnesty International. The report, entitled “Nowhere to turn to – violence against women in the family,” takes Russia’s government to task for failing to adequately address the problem.”

So no-one cares about domestic violence against women, but trendy dressing is apparently quite a concern.