Why is it that when I walk down the street I see more muffin tops than I do in a bakery? Okay, I get it, when the low-rise look came in everyone had to go out and get a pair to be cool but….in their own size! One of the most frightening things about fashion slaves is when their outfits look like they physically hurt. For example, foot bulge: it happens when a woman with a heavier physique tries to balance on those two little sticks otherwise known as stilettos. Seriously, watching these people reminds me of being at the circus looking at the clowns on stilts. You shouldn’t have to waddle to get to the buffet table.

I have a major case of arachnophobia, so when I see someone wearing those 18-straplong gladiator sandals I run away. It looks like the sandals first choked its prey before devouring it. It’s straight up creepy! Maybe its just me but I believe that any animal print ( especailly leopard) shouldn’t be wider than six inches; otherwise people think they can wear it in spandex and that’s a sight that can do damage to your corneas (like above). I wonder if these people looked in the mirror before they left the house and, if they did, what the hell were they thinking?!

I understand some might think, “oh but it’s in fashion!” What they seem to misunderstand is just because it looks good on a 90 pound model doesn’t means it’s going to look good on them. I guess their friends don’t like telling them about how they look for fear of being bitch slapped but someone has to do it.